Friday, May 18, 2007

Chp 121. To dimple or not to dimple

[Secular post, tagged: Humor]

Is smiling discriminative? I mean, for a dimpled guy smiling with all thirty-two teeth glaring & dazzling, is it sexually demeaning for him to portray such a “feminine” pose?

That’s what myheritage seems to think so. A fantastic site I came across at Marzie’s blog, it is a place where you can upload your pic and search for your celebrity look-alikes. I uploaded my pic, a great Kodak moment, only to get a result of 10 celebrity look-alikes, all women! Aaaaargh.



But then, it struck me. Yes, this is definitely a case of sexism! So I googled for (dimple smile) Shah Rukh Khan’s pic online and replaced my snaps with his. Viola, again I got a result with the fairer sex dominating the scene.



Sexists! A whole bunch of female chauvinists out there! Who made a declaration that dimple smiles are exclusively a girl’s thing? Bring out the banners Ma’, me and muh boys are gonna march down “Raj Path” and “Vidhan Soudha” protesting this gross sexual discrimination. Especially in this age of metrosexuality, it is a crude depiction of men to be compared to women just because of our dimples! Burn the conservatives. Brothers, unite!

If Martin Luther King Jr. was alive today, his immortal speech would probably go something like:

>> I have a dream, that one day this Nation will rise together as one, not just men and women, but also men with dimples, to live out the true meaning of its creed, that all men are equal, whether they have dimples or not.

>> I have a dream that one day the State of Maharashtra, a state sweltering with heat of injustice and oppression among the dimple haves and have-nots, will be transformed into an oasis of dimple-freedom and dimple-justice.

>> I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Rajasthan the sons of men with dimples and the sons of dimple-less men will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood.

>> I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the dimple on their face but by the content of their character.

>> I have a dream that one day man, with or without dimples, will look at a woman straight in the face and scream out at the top of his lungs, “who let the toilet seat down?”

One smart-aleck once said, “The weaker sex is usually the stronger sex because of the weakness the stronger sex have for the weaker sex”. He probably said that after being manipulated and exploited endlessly by his androphobic girl-friend. He was also probably drunk, and probably had a dimple too.

Dimplophobia: Fear of dimples

It is a known fact that most of us guys don’t care as much as the women about how we look. And even if we do care about our looks, the only thing we want to look like, is to look “cool”. The word “cool” in this perspective covers a wide range: We wanna be as cool as Bruce Willis in “Die Hard”, or Keanu Reeves in “Constantine” & “Matrix”, or Orlando Bloom as “Legolas” in “LOR”, or James Gandolfini in “The Sopranos”… That’s what we guys mean by being “cool”.

And the one word we definitely do not want to be associated with, is the word “cute”. Ban that word! Cool, good. Cute, bad.

Suppose a guy meets two girls at a social gathering and one of the girls really got to like him a lot and mentions that he is really cute, the guy would of course beam with self-conceit. But when he goes back to his group of guy friends and they ask him what happened, I can bet my dimples that he would not tell them she used the word “cute” to describe him. Instead he would probably lie and said she found him “cool”.

And you know what? Cute is sometimes defined by the presence of dimples. I admit people never find me cute, at least when they are sober. But still, I guess that’s better than being called ugly or repulsive or Gollum or Jabba the Hutt or Jar Jar Binks.

This is what myheritage churned out when I submitted a pic of me with no dimples and with no smile.



That, I like. Until then, I will spend sleepless nights turning and tossing from the fact that the formula “Me + Dimple + Smile = Female” is there for everybody to see, laugh at and mock.

19 comments:

Mariuca said...

LOL! Enjoyed ur post...and love the dimples btw :)

kima-the-other said...

Hehe! Didnt know you had that effeminate streak in you in spite of all your pa-ness!!If metrosexuality blurs the exclusive rights to dimples, why not also the macho-ness of 'cool' or 'cute'. Come to think of it, you look kinda cute!! hehe

myself said...

aweeeeee,i love your dimples....and evrythin else too hehe

Jimmy said...

Someone: "lal kima hi chu awwww"
A thin a rim teh mai nia. LOL

illusionaire said...

@ mariuca : thanx about the post... and urrrmmm... ok thanx about the dimples too :)

@ kima-the-other: lolz bro, there is a woman in everyone of us. Mine is just the dimples. Hope your's is not something further south from the dimples. lolzzzzz :))))

@ myself: awwwweee. *muaaaah* Love everything else about you too honey.

@ Jimy: Ok brother now you better spill it out. Who is that "someone"? Grrrrrrrr.

Henry said...

As always another good post !

P.S. I hate word verification

claytonia vices said...

Now, I didn't know there is a dimple detecting algarithm too! 8-0

StreetCred said...

well,i have also upload my photo last week when oth3rside told me bout it..most of my celeb look alike were guys haha...among the ladies it was mandy moore and naomi campbel hehe

sowmya said...

I don't know why I opened your blog page in midst of my assignment , there by losing another half hour procrastinating!
Having dimples does not signify femininity!excuse moi "in ure face genetics", the only feminine thing about dimples is that it is inherited from your mother's gene! So my brother has the dimples and I don't - how cruel can fate be!!!John travolata has the dimple so does brad pitt! and both look handsome! I can not deny that dimples aren't cute but they are not all that define cuteness! I mean they are men without dimples who look cute and men with dimples who don't look cute!
But dimples or no dimples, dimples on the cheek or chin or butt - dimples should never be the sign for femininity! why! Cuz i don't have dimples! :) :) :) :P

illusionaire said...

!pingme

illusionaire said...

@ henry: So do I :)

@ claytonia: Yes there is one indeed.
Find0(dimple)
if
(cheek>4)
then goto (ans)
else
terminate(0)
end

@ streetcred: lolz. Guess you and I need a quick role reversal. hehehe. Well atleast you have two good female lookalikes.

@ sowsow: awwweeeee. But seriously, as you said, you don't need dimples to be cute. :) I can't access you blog :-(

mnowluck said...

Kate winslet look alike.. hehe.. ka tran ltk!
U should move to hollywood, u will make it quite good there too :))

I envied the Sense of Humor u got, Enjoyed ur post :)

Sundancer said...

Mipa biangsum nei ah chuan I chhe lo berrrr! :P Kim, flash those dimples, all that sexual appeal...girls, run for the hills!

Pixie said...

LOL!!
Lovely post!!!
4 children??? WOW! Them will be because of them dimples eh?!! ROFL

I hate word evrification too...

Anonymous said...

Kima -I had a laugh...thanks for the humour:-))I think your dimples looks just 'cool'....

illusionaire said...

@ mnowluck: bleh :) Thanx for the visit. Visit regularly for more such posts :-P

@ sundancer: lal Jeru, min bawl suh auh :) Nangma hma ah ka flash zing tawh em, nia, tlanglamah chuan min tlan bo san chiang a lawm, run for the hills :-P

@ pixie: lolzzzzz. Na, hopefully, if I have four, it won't be because of my dimples but because of my intellect... lolz, who am I kidding here!

@ anonymous: ah, anonymous. ty ty :-) I like that word "cool". Thanx again :-)

Allen said...

Haaaaaa haaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaa
Oh man!
You have such a cute smile Kima :P

Anonymous said...

from: anonymous -ka hming ka sign theihnghilh...it is me - your pi kimi:-)

sandwhite said...

Shah Rukh Khan’s pic online and replaced my snaps with his viagra australia. Viola, again I got a result with the check this fairer sex dominating the scene.