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Saturday, May 26, 2007

Chp 123. Horoscopic love!

[Tagged: Humor]

How many of you believe in horoscope?

I have come across so many occasions where people would actually judge other people by their horoscope! Suppose your boss has the habit of shouting at everybody in the office; one person is sure to remark, “not surprising, he’s a Leo” . X dumped Y and is now with Z, hence another remark, “X is a Taurean while Y is a Sagittarian. These two are not compatible at all, which is why X is with Z, a Piscean.” You have no idea how hard it is for a person who doesn’t believe in horoscopes standing next to you to control his laughter.

I am a cusp (Aries-Taurean). When my friend Paul, the only guy friend I have who’s hardcore into horoscopes, heard about this, his immediate exclamation was “Duuuude! You’re a freaking cusp! You know how many chicks would fall for that? Mannnn if I were you, I would definitely exploit this chance!” lolz. I guess horoscopic serenading just ain’t my style . I came to know about me being a cusp only a couple of years ago during my Hyderabad days from my dear friend Kini (“bestest” friend types, if you know what I mean). She and I would spend every morning reading our horoscopes together. I would make fun of the various predictions while she would try her best to be serious about it.

Naaah, I don’t believe in horoscopes anymore. The only time I’ve ever believed in it (briefly) was during my High school days when I used to have this gargantuan crush on T. She was my childhood sweetheart, but unfortunately I wasn’t hers. She hardly even knew I existed. Horoscope is something like wrestling; you outgrow it with age. And later on as you look back, you find it extremely ridiculous that you once used to ardently believe those things were actually real and genuine.

The daily horoscopes printed on newspapers are so global and generalized that anybody can apply any of it to their life. Many of you horoscope followers will hate me for saying this, but do conduct this little experiment. When a friend asks you to read out her horoscope, read out some other horoscope instead. Trust me, at the end she will still swoon in complete belief and approval, exclaiming “ah, that is soooo true!” .

Horoscopes have never played any role in any of my relationships. Till now, all the women I’ve been emotionally involved with or attracted to are all the eldest in their family. The reason for this is not “horoscopical” but rather psychological. Women with younger siblings are more mature mentally in dealing with the whim and fancy of their younger siblings, and are more understanding and caring when it comes to general people-skills. And since I’m the youngest in my family with three elder sisters, I guess a part of me will always be spoilt and childish. I believe the youngest of any family can never truly outgrow being pampered with love and affection. This should not be confused with maturity. The youngest of a family may be very responsible and mature with his studies, work and life, but there will always be a thin streak of childishness when he’s alone with his elder sisters.

I’m just trying to imagine what would have happened had I taken Paul’s advice and played the cusp card. In my mind, there I was walking up to an attractive lady sitting all alone at the bar table inside a discotheque with “single and ready to mingle” written all over her face, smile, posture and body language. I cleared my throat as I bent over to whisper into her ears, “Hi, how yoooo doing? I’m a cusp”. And as soon as I uttered the magical word “cusp”, her face immediately lit up as she raised her pretty eyebrows revealing a twinkle in her eyes. She looked at me like a starved African Lion looking at a luscious plump zebra galloping just two feet away. Then she suddenly pounced on me and threw me on top of the bar table. She dived on top of me as she screamed while tearing her clothes “Oh My God! A CUSP! You’re a cusp!!! Take me! Take me! Give it to me right here you mighty mighty mighty cusp! Give it to meeeee!!!”

Naaah.

That will never happen. But I’m pretty sure my friend Paul thinks that can actually happen. Hehehehe .

28 comments:

myself said...

ahhhhh!!!! a cusp :P ...thats why!!!! *wink wink*

illusionaire said...

Re-Ahhhh!

You know very well thats not the only reason why :) *wink wink*

SEKIBUHCHHUAK said...

ka Horoskawp chu,Chopstick..hehhe.

Unau zinga upa ber chu an vawih uih duh..esp,kan veng nula..akekek

tak takin,in in awm ka ti tawlh tawlh mai:-)engtik nge kan tih HUk dawn a..??

Jimmy said...

As one horoscope columnist said, "I just tell them what they want to hear..."

kimatheother said...

'horoscopic serenading'....swwwweet! I thought psychoanalysing significant others was passe but you have an interesting take on it!

illusionaire said...

@ Seki: lolz... A hun chu a rawn thleng ve mai ang chu ;)

@ Jimmy: Exactly!

@ Kima-the-other: Its a new style :) and there's no such thing as a passe when it comes to the calling of the heart :)

Last Templar said...

Was the nepali girl in Kolkata who costed you around 50 bucks and whom you wanted to take home to momma the eldest daghter also? Some food for thought, Jesse?

Sundancer said...

Like George Jetson might say, Bull crap!!!! Ka awih lo, Kepler sawi ang khan, astrology is the foolish daughter of the wise mother astronomy, nge astronomy's crazy mother astrology tih vel kha...khang kha ka ngaihdan chu ni e!

"I guess a part of me will always be spoilt and childish" - correction: a colossal part of you will always be spoilt and childish, a small part of you will mature over time, and will always write entertainingly! :PP

illusionaire said...

@ Templar: lolzzzz.... So you disappear for a long time from my blog only to come back with such a useless comment? :)) Hows life? And hows the wife? Thot we cud meet up in Aizawl, but u didnt comment even once while I was there. Im in Delhi now :-(

@ Sundancer: You sound like the perfect sucker for such horoscopes :-D Atleast thats what i have observed you know, horoscopes are pretty much popular among the hopelessly singles genre. lolz, just kidding dear. Thanx for the comment.

MockingBird said...

LOL @ She looked at me like a starved African Lion looking at a luscious plump zebra galloping just two feet away.

Don't care if you're a cusp, but I really love your inimitable sense of humour :D

mnowluck said...

dirty m** leads to dirty th*****S
She dived on top of me as she screamed while tearing her clothes “Oh My God! A CUSP! You’re a cusp!!! Take me! Take me! Give it to me right here you mighty mighty mighty cusp! Give it to meeeee!!!” :P

illusionaire said...

@ mockingbird: Don't forget to call me. Dying to meet P. Dare I say his full name out here for everybody to see? After all, this post is tagged "humor" right? hihihihiiiii.

@ mnowluck: Ah, why am I not surprised thats the (only) part you enjoyed? haha. Hey bro, me coming down to Mumbai end of this week. You still there?

life10 said...

first of all..how do u get so many comments on all your blogs?? cuz u are a cusp??linda goodman`s book was my bible when i was 17!!! have come a long way..i remember everytime i had a new crush we`d do our best to find out his bday and then yes..read up every juicy detail on him?i mean his sunsign..:)) if only life was that simple..and we cud figure out guys from linda goodman`s pages lolzz...i`m a capricorn..i like the part where they say a capricorn is classy..but not too sure about the "ambitious " part lol...but horrorscopes for me i think/thought was in the past..till i had really good buddhist friends..and of course hindu friends in bihar..and trust me....they can figure out a lot about their lives with the positions of the planets etc etc..so i say always keep an open mind...u never know whats written in the stars...so kima why do u think u bagged such a beautiful girl that too with a voice to match??? its all written in the stars baybae ...

Pixie said...

LOL!!!
that was so funny - just what I neede today afternoon... :)
Sometimes I read them after my day is almost over - after going home and what they would have stated would be totally opposite to how my day would have gone!!!

P.S: Tagged you! :)

illusionaire said...

@ life10: Thanx for commenting dear. And lolz @ "its all written in the stars". hahaha. To be honest, I don't believe in the stars or destiny. I am a man who make my own destiny and creat my own stars *wink wink* And oh, by the way, I didnt bag her, she didnt bag me... we bagged each other mutually. *corny wink*

@ Pixie: lolz. Exactly why I don't believe in horoscopes anymore. hehehe. And oh, about the tagging, do look at my blog templates carefully. It says "Illusionaire is protected by the latest Norton Anti-Tagging software" Sorry dear, your tagging wont work here. hihihi :-)

mnowluck said...

Yeppie. I'm gonna stay here for sumtime. U in Jogeshwari?? Aha. I'm not too far from you. I'm at malad(w), near d-mart

Click this

MockingBird said...

You're so wicked! Leave him alone, will ya? ;)

Will call you this evening... or tomorrow morning

Joykim said...

hmmmm...cusp? ..

i don't believe in the predictions but i just couldn't help flipping to that page in the newspaper or mags....

Becks~Tetei said...

well...i too wonder several time, should i believe in horoscope or not. But, today i come to a mild consensus, I can say that i totally disagree with the daily horoscope forecast. However, when we ponder about the other part: Librans are these, geminians are that...i must say, "I do agree on many occassions"...why? Many are true, at least, from what i had encountered. But mabbe, kima as a cusp, to be in the love market, may not be true!! lolz

Pixie said...

LOLZ!!!
Fine :)
You do seem to be too well protected!!!

claytonia vices said...

I feel the same about the horoscopes in publications, they are generic enough to fit almost any situation...

But on the other hand I have a friend whose hobby is astrology and I have seen most of what he says based on birth and place to be correct. He has conducted his own research among friends and relatives and found it to be mostly true...

benjamin rualthanzauva said...

Sandman, why are trying to imitate me again:-)

I am also a cusp (Libra - Scorpio)

benjamin rualthanzauva said...

quote

Till now, all the women I’ve been emotionally involved with or attracted to are all the eldest in their family.

unquote

HAHA! I have tried eldest, youngest, somewhere in the middle, third from youngest.

The eldest dumped :-) I see it happened to you already, Sandman!

Keep away from the eldest :-)

myself said...

@sekibuhchhuak....tren tren tren delhi ah lokal la,inawm leh om loh chu i hre mai and....unau zinga upa ber hi an zei duh..akekekkeke

@benjamin----------- shhhhhhhhhhhh about the eldest,ka puan mai ang che.

illusionaire said...

@ mnowluck: Check your orkut mail!!!! Urgent!

@ mockingbird: Got your mail. Its ok dear, we can always do "that thing" once I return to Delhi.

@ joykim: It's hard not to flip thru those pages, if you already have it as a habit :-) Even I find it hard not to flip thru the cartoon section everyday :-)

illusionaire said...

@ Becky: Heyyy! Thanx for visiting and commenting. See, thats what i tried to point out. Some of the horoscopes may be true sometimes, but have you noticed how generalized they are? They can apply to anybody. For example, "today you will meet somebody unexpectedly". The chances of anyone meeting anyone unexpectedly is extremely high. That should not be confused with a prediction. lolz :-)

@ pixie: You can say that again :-)

@ claytonia: During my time in Hyderabad, due to pressure from my close frens, I went along with their plan for a palm reading session. The palm reader told me I am the youngest with three older siblings! Now thats true and its definitely not a generalized statement. Hence it was scary. But the more I thought about it, the more perplexed and distracted I became. Hence I simply stopped thinking about it :-) Likewise, astrology may be true too, I guess it is up to every individual to believe things he or she wants to believe. I have frens who ardently believe in numerology and astrology too.

illusionaire said...

@ Ben: Eldest is ghoood. Me like. *wink*

@ myself: Puan tur thil a awm a ni maw? Han puan chiah la? :-)

Melpomene said...

**Gasp** You're a cusp??????????? **gasp again** Where is that bar table .........

Oh ........... but Taurean...... naaaah..... too stubborn! Hahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Sorry, my sides are aching too much from laughter for me to say anything remotely intelligent!