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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Chp 265. Wedding Planner: Diesel and Petrol.


What’s dirty greasy intoxicating diesel and petrol got to do with the wedding, you may wonder. Well, absolutely nothing, until my irritating (but adorable) cousin had to announce to the whole wide world what I did today.


So there she was, my cousin Mimi (à la “My cousin Vinny”! Lolz) tagging me on facebook with her comment: “Kima De Mizohican what's the difference between Petrol and Diesel? hyuk hyuk hyuk.. should i tell our mutual frens..hehehehe, or are u gonna blog about it? :-D Lo leng vat rawh!”

Yeah… so a funny thing happened to me today. One of those “unique goof-ups only I am capable of doing” as my friends would say - I filled diesel in my petrol car!!!!



Ok before you judge me or anything, it was like this. My sister, the one who is getting married, had to go shopping and she was in a real hurry.

Remember my old Wagon R I was talking about in my previous post? The one that my brother-in-law and I brought back to life yesterday after nearly 6 months of inactivity, with an empty fuel box and moulds growing all over the seat covers? Yeah, the same car. So since I had to take my sis shopping, I shouted from downstairs, “Mom, do we have petrol?”

You see, my folks, like most Mizo folks who own a car, store at least 5-10 litres of petrol in case of any emergency because the fuel supply in Mizoram stop now and then. Mom was too busy with a couple of aunts finalizing the guest list for the wedding, so she screamed back, “Yessss. It’s in the store room.”

So I went to the store room, saw a huge plastic cylinder and opened it. It definitely smelt like fuel so I poured 5 litres out in a smaller container, took that to the car and refilled it. After that, my car, which had a lot of sweet fond memories, ignited with passion… vroooooommm!

It was then that our servant came running to the garage to tell me that dad was calling me. I went upstairs to meet dad. He asked me one simple question, “Are you sure you filled petrol?”

I said… “yeah, what else could it be?” He replied, “duh, Diesel?”

It was then that I realized our other vehicle Bolero, runs on diesel. Aaargh. I ran downstairs again, called one of my aunt’s driver Chhama, who confirmed that what I filled in the car was not petrol but diesel!!!!!!

So there you have it. I freaking filled diesel in my petrol car.

What do you do if you fill diesel in a petrol car by mistake? Especially if you’ve already started the car? Here’s what I learnt today:

1. Call a mechanic immediately.

2. He will drain your fuel tank. He goes under the car with a couple of wrenches and screwdrivers, opens up the fuel line and then puts a container (bottle, large bucket, anything) under it.

3. He switches on the ignition, stops, repeats. This way, every time the ignition is turned on, fuel is injected, which actually falls to the open bucket lying below.

4. After a few minutes, the entire fuel tank is drained.

5. He gets under the car again, puts every nut and bolt back into place.

6. Now fill the tank with petrol. Real petrol.

7. Start the car. The car is now consuming pure petrol. But don’t forget about the diesel it had consumed earlier.

8. Drive the car to the nearest workshop.

9. There, the mechanics will clean your engine, purify the spark plug and ignition which is already corroded by diesel substances. A “carburetor gas” spray which costs around 200 bucks is used to clean various parts of the engine.

10. Tah dahhh. Your car is now as good as new.

But of course this whole process took me around 5 hours, so I eventually didn’t do any wedding work today. We were supposed to go to all our relatives’ places today to distribute the wedding cards but unfortunately, this blooper changed all our plans.

But tomorrow will be another day. I have learnt the difference between petrol and diesel (comon, give me a break. I was brought up in the Metros, and I’m sure many of my non-Mizo friends won’t be able to tell the difference between diesel and petrol. After all, we never fill the fuel ourselves. We just drive to a fuel stop and tell the attendants to fill petrol or diesel and they do so accordingly.)

And of course if I fill two glasses with petrol and diesel and ask my dear cousin Mimi to tell me which is which, I can bet Opa’s ass that she won’t be able to give me the correct answer.

Cheers.


15 comments:

benjamin rualthanzauva said...

ok. you will also need to distinguish between kerosene and diesel as kerosene since several years ago too looks blueish. when I was kid, kerosene wasn't blueish like it is today.

I am reminded of 20 or more years old incident. My uncle's driver filled gear oil instead of engine oil on a tractor. these two oil at least at that time was not easy to distinguish just by the look - almost same color, almost same viscosity.

the too did the draining which involved opening a lot of things.

you home work: learn to distinguish the following

1) Spirit: this was used light kerosene petromax. also used in hospitals, makes your fingers numb before they poke you with needles.

2) kerosene: ever lighted a kerosene stove? ever stood in the queue at the retailer? was colorless but never crystal. they made it blueish. I heard it was done to prevent adulteration of petrol.

3) Diesel: of course you now know

4) Petrol: you now know this too by now..

5) Cooking oil

6) Lubricant: You should know this better :-)

I was also once told the color of engine oil from Shell is reddish, again to prevent adulteration.

didn't you learn a thing about this during your intern at British Petroleum :-D

Sekibuhchhuak said...

I van rawn blog rang ve hei chu!!Damlailusun hnu hi chuan kan buai nuaih anih ber hi aaa!! :-))

Petrol i tih hi Gas ani em ?:-))

illusionaire said...

@ Ben: lolz... fuel may be the flagship of British Petroleum, but India bp only deals with engine oil (at least it was like that when I was doing my internship at bp. I don't know about now. They haven't entered the fuel market due to stiff competition from HP, IOL, Bharat Petroleum etc etc.)

Like one of my aunts told me, its not my fault because diesel is quite clear now just like petrol, unlike the days when it was easily distinguishable.

@ Seki: Ka hre miah lo, sap hovin gas an tih ber hi petrol nge diesel zawk? LPG te aniang a? :P

Mimihrahsel said...

hyuk hyuk hyuk!!! sooooo funny! When your sis came and broke the news (and you know how she would say, with all the expressions and exaggeration), we all laughed, including dear ol dad :-D

illusionaire said...

Bleh! :P

Banno said...

Am loving the wedding planner's posts.

chhangte_ll said...

Post pakhat chhiar chhungin pahnih alo awm hman der ani maw, mahni nupui neihtur zawn lamah tihian rang ve la chuan vawithum lâi i ti tawh maithei..Lolzzzz.

Petrol leh Diesel rim hre hrang rual chu i ni ve tawh asin mawle, I nupui neih ni ah mo thian kha zungbun i buntir vu ange...'You may kiss the Bride' tih chiahin i hrechhuak leh si anga, Khawvela Pathlawi ni rang ber Award tepawh ila dawng mahna le...Lolzzzz...

dr_feelgood said...

I'm reminded of a joke I once read, probably in Readers digest. A Pastor family on a trip ran out of gas, the man goes to the nearest gas station,but not having any container, took the baby's pottie for carrying the petrol. After returning and as he was pouring in the gas, a passerby remarked.'Hey, Pastor, I admire your faith, but do you think it will really work?'
Good luck with your preparations.

OpaHmar said...

PPl always ask me if my Bullet runs on petrol or diesel...petrol of course...only a moron will fill diesel in a petrol drven vehicle...i wud think...

BTW one of my frens has a Yezdi which will run on kerosene also...it really does..I can bet my @$$ on that

OpaHmar said...

@benji - umm whats a lubricant

Pixie said...

lol!!

ok. I'm laughing really too hard to say anything coherent!
Than God, I am reading this at home and not at work!!! :D :D :D

HAHAHAHAHAHA


This is where the leg-pulling comes in actuall!!! but, now, can't do anything else, but laugh!!!!!

hahahaha

mazami said...

great stuff...waiting eagerly for the next one.

claytonia vices said...

Can you at least identify Seagram's Fuel? ;)

So, dear wedding planner, your adventures started even before you left your house!! :)

We had one relative who filled an old talcum powder container with Gamaxine (a pesticide you can easily find in a farmer's house) to keep red ants out of the kitchen. All was OK until she absentmindedly put it back along with the real talcum powder in front of the mirror!! My uncle was wondering why the talcum powder created a burning sensation instead of being soothing! LOLLLL!!

illusionaire said...

@ Banno: Im glad you like the series. Looking forward to you visiting for more :)

@ chhangte_II: lolzzz i va hre thring ve hotupa. hahaha... i lo ti tawh a ni chiang mai :D Nia tunlai chu ka post ka rawn update rang hlawm viau ang. hihi!

@ dr_feelgood: Thanx, and lolz, thats a really funny and clean joke. RR comes best when it comes to this :)

@ Opa Hmar: Put yourself in my position. I was in a hurry. Maid told me that "liquid" was what the drivers use to fill up the vehicle. I didnt know she was talking about the Bolero and she didnt know I brought the Wagon R back to life. Hence. Disasterrrr!

@ Pixie: yeah yeah... but its not so funny when the jokes on me. hehehe. But what the heck. Im just taking you guys through whats happening this side of the country. Lolz.

@ Mazami: Thanx. Hope you continue dropping by to read the rest. Am so so so busy but will definitely try to meet up with you and a couple of other online friends currently in Aizawl.

@ claytonia: See... like I said, it was not entirely my fault :D And yessss I can differentiate all the other fuel and spirits. :-) You can test me by giving me whisky and rum, and I'll show you how I can differentiate them. hihihi. :D

benjamin rualthanzauva said...

@benji - umm whats a lubricant
>> grease