Chp 59. Massage

On one of my earlier posts, I wrote about addiction and the kinda stuff people can get addicted to. Contemplating on that, I serious feel it’s possible to get addicted to massages.

You gotta be a true massage freak to enjoy this particular post.

How many of you can truly say you don’t enjoy a good massage? Especially after a stressful hard day’s work in the office, or after a tiring game of football or basketball or any kinda ball? If there is anyone who can honestly admit that a massage is the last thing on his/her mind, then I will personally come over to your house and clean your dishes for a week (My way of telling everyone that this is what I’ve been doing for the past 4 months )

Back in College days, during 1st and 2nd year of Engineering, I always go for a head massage every time I have a haircut (I used to have a weekly haircut and I still do even now) and also after a really tough workout during basketball practice. Man it just feels sooooo good to have the experienced barber rubbing and pounding my head with his bare hands (I would have said with his bare masculine huge strong hands, but that kinda made me sound a bit broke-backish ). He rubs and rubs and always manages to find the right spot, the right artery, the right tendons, the right muscles. Each stroke of his hand brings about a new sensation of ecstasy electrifying through my entire body. I can practically feel every molecules of my body jumping up and down and at the same time completely relaxing. Ah!!!! And after the massage, as I get up from that chair, I am completely re-vitalized, with an over-flowing feeling of calm, relaxation and satisfaction that I don’t seem to be experiencing anywhere else.

But 3rd year and 4th year of College, that was when I suddenly realize something very serious. I was actually starting to get uncontrollably attached to massages. I started visiting the barber just to get a head massage (15 bucks) even if I was not getting a haircut. I was on 3-4 massages a week then, and during exam week, it was a daily head massage. I know this may sound stupid but I actually believed I found it easier to study for my exams after a quick session of head pounding. But maybe this is partly true, after all, the more we learn, the more we forget. And when the barber starts hammering my head, a couple of things that I have learnt before are pounded out, hence making it easier for me to learn new theorems and programming languages. Towards the end of my 4 year sentence at PSG Tech, I was already on a daily, and sometimes even more than once a day head massage

After completing my engineering, I migrated to Hyderabad. There, things went for bad to worse. Not only did I continue going for my daily head massages, I even started “cheating” on my regular barber and “experimented” with others. It was like a new thrill. At first, yeah I did feel guilty about it, but what can I do. The body may be strong but the mind is weak. I found out that every barber have their own unique way of massaging. Sometimes, a particular barber concentrates on a particular style of massaging or on a particular spot while another lay stress on a different form. And some barbers even have their own modified version of head pounding. Some of them are exotic, some of them use appliances, and a few others surprise you with a new trick or two that you least expected. And I really love the ones that massage for a longtime, you know. Barbers who don’t last long, aren’t fun. Ofcourse if he finishes too quickly, I don’t complain but I make sure I never go to him again. (Gee, I only wish you guys can read my post as a completely decent and innocent post and not think of anything else all these time. Sheeesh, the kinda people that read my blog... )

Back to my addiction now. Ofcourse there is no such thing as “Massage Anonymous” but I really wished there was one right then. You know, something like a bunch of guys facing each other, sitting in a “straight circle” as my school PT Master used to say, somewhere in a shady damp place with just one yellow bulb flickering above.

Me: Hi. My name is Ki... Michael
Everyone: Hello Michael.
Me: Hi... Uh… well, the other day I passed Royal Saloon* on my way back from work. Stood outside the place for 10 minutes just watching the barber run his hands smoothly through his customers’ hair, and I could feel my knees go weak and my scalp twitch. But no, I told myself to be strong and suddenly made a dash for the other side of the road. Ofcourse a bus rammed directly into me as I was running across the street and ended up with seven multiple fractures, twelve stitches, a broken rib, a minor intra-cerebral hemorrhage and doctors said I may never be able to pee the normal way again. But the main important thing is, I resisted the temptation to go for a quick head massage.
Counselor: Bravo. Everyone, give a big hand to Michael.
(Everyone claps)
Counselor: Ok next…

[ * Why do so many people in India use the word “Saloon” to describe or name a barber’s place? I’ve seen atleast 20 different haircutting outlets with the word “Saloon” attached to it, like “Ramu’s Saloon”, “Hair Saloon”, “Bombay Saloon”, “Style Saloon” etc. The correct word is “Salon”. “Saloon” is actually a tavern, especially the ones we see in old western movies with gun-slinging sheriffs, tight denim pants and inflated crotches. Mizos on the whole too use “Saloon” a lot, but then, we can atleast say it got lost somewhere in translation, due to the letter “o” having a different pronunciation in Mizo from English. ]

Anyway, damn I’ve crossed the 1000 word milestone already! And all I’ve been talking about so far is just the head massage. I guess BlackWhite is kinda right. Once I start writing, I just don’t know when and how to stop. Hmmm, maybe next time, we will move further south, coz after all, if there is one thing that’s better than a head massage, it is a back massage. Yes yes, I know exactly what you were thinking, faith_no_more. And I’m sorry but you are not going to find the kinda massage you had in mind here in my blog. If I do move even further south, then it will be a foot massage. Just give up.