Chp 93. I'm horny, you're horny

I’ve just saw NDTV’s investigation on Mumbai’s dance bars yesterday. The clandestine video recordings definitely put a severe dent on the dance bar owners’ credibility when they claimed that these dance bars were just a place of employment for women and that there was nothing illegal or immoral in what they do. Two serious causes of concern, Prostitution rackets and Police corruption, once again resurfaced.

I’m not saying these two had never been around before. Corruption is more or less the oldest practice in the World and Prostitution is labeled as the oldest profession (Unless ofcourse you firmly believe in the Creation, which in that case would make “Animal naming” or “Apple picking” as the oldest profession. God only knows (pun not intended!) what Adam was doing all alone before Eve came along ).

Can prostitution ever be clamped down completely or legalized in India? Ofcourse if I ever suggest that Prostitution should be legalized in India, I would be lynched and my blog probably tagged as “unpatriotic”. However we stand at a crossroad where prostitution in India is neither legal nor illegal. SITA (Suppression of Immoral Traffic Act, 1956) now known as PITA (Prevention of Immoral Traffic Act, 1986) doesn’t say Prostitution is a crime but forbids Prostitutes from practicing their trade within 200 yards of a "public place" or a "notified area". Very obscure law indeed. One might call this DITA (Disarray over Immoral Traffic Act, 2006)

Do you know that prostitutes in India cannot be charged with “prostitution” since it is not a crime? Hence, they get booked with vague charges like "public indecency" or being a "public nuisance" . And meanwhile, as some sections of the society protest against the flesh trade, a large majority of people from the same society are responsible for enabling this industry to flourish. It takes two to tango dude.

Face it, we are all a horny lot. No matter how much we campaign against such an immoral activity and brand it as something against our “culture”, deep down within most of us men are bubbling-hormones raging ferociously like a wild hungry tempestuous Sea devouring a lone ship on a dark and stormy night. The roar from such depths is thunderous and deafening. Be it sea or Psyche. If only it could be heard by people around us.

I still remember one joke I really love: A survey was conducted on what men do as soon as they have sex. 10% said they pee, another 10% said they smoke, while the remaining 80% said they go home.

Guys, there is nothing wrong in being horny. It is a part of our core objective as a species . Even the former most Powerful man on this Planet was caught taking out his cigar from his cigar-case . Horniness knows no distinction. It cuts across all class, sex, race, religion, creed, culture, tradition, you name it. When couples do it, atleast one of them is horny. Otherwise how can you explain the population explosion? I don’t think guys who don’t feel like doing “it”, would/could do “it”. If so, then I find that “hard” to believe .

We guys have a gift. We can automatically “turn it on” anytime we want like a switch, while women have to be “turned on”, like slowly cooking rice or potato in a pressure cooker waiting for what seems like eternity for it to start hisssssssing. God must have found this unfair so He gifted women with multiple-O. And the debate on who got the better off these two deals still continue even today .

I used to have my own little theory on why most of us are “horny”. I was brought up in South India. Went to School and College there. Since boys and girls weren’t allowed to talk to each other and dating was considered a taboo, I thought maybe the sudden exposure to women later on in life brought out all those bottled-up feelings. Naah! That was not the reason. Other Indians from a liberal background like the Northeast or from Metro cities around the Nation are as horny as those from a conservative background. A survey result shows 67% of High School students in America have sex. My friend S said most teenagers in America and other people here in India have sex at an early age because of curiosity rather than, to put it bluntly as I had put it, horniness. I argued that curiosity and horniness cannot be two different criteria because one can be curious and horny at the same time.

Infact you can mix horny with any emotion or state of being. You can be intelligent and horny. You can be dumb and horny. You can be drunk and horny. You can be sober and horny. You can be lonely and horny. You can have company and be horny at the same time. You can own a cycle and be horny, or own a Private Jet and be horny. You can even be horny and horny! (Dunno what’s that like, although I can pretty much imagine… )

Look at India. Even though this trend hasn’t caught on, there are many young women and men out there who have a “fuck buddy”. Yeah, it’s called FB. An FB is usually a friend or a colleague that you trust but aren’t romantically involved with. It’s something like a sexual fling, except that it’s more personal. You wouldn’t have read about FBs in your cosmo or other girlie mags, or read articles about it in prominent news websites. But it is very much in practice, especially among the urban College going youth of today. No Indian women or men of a sane mind are going to come forward openly and say “Yeah, I have a fuck buddy” . I guess we can say FB is the complete opposite of a platonic love affair. I know people who started out as FBs but are now in a committed relationship. Similarly, I know people who insist that their FBs should be faithful to them, while others don’t mind having multiple FBs. I guess this brings us to a debatable question. What is the difference between a sexual attraction and a “normal” physical attraction? Or are all physical attractions sexually oriented, even though we may not know it intrinsically?

I am not here to judge anyone based on what they do on their beds (or on the kitchen table), but one thing is for certain, there are more negative consequences to being sexually active than the positive ones.

Be it prostitution or FBs, one negative consequence is ofcourse the spread of AIDS and other STDs. Then there is the alarming increase in number of rape cases and other sexually oriented crimes. Not to forget those sick demented paedophiles. And then there are the various distractions you experience making it difficult for you to concentrate on your work. Breaking marital vows is another serious consequence: dude, you’re breaking up a loving family just because your wife ain’t around? My advice: Grab a magazine and run to the loo. Lecherous roadside romeos and irritating eve-teasers are another set of people suffering from HO (Horniness Overdose).

Being horny itself is not bad or evil, as long as you don’t let it get out of control. Be the master of yourself. Control the snake. Don’t let the snake control you!

You’re horny, I’m horny, and we all live in a horny little World. Cheers!