Chp 107. The true value of friendship

Lately I’ve been feeling tall. Extremely tall.

I feel as if I’ve grown a few inches taller! But strangely, all my pants still fit me perfectly. And then I realized why I am feeling this way.

It’s because I’ve been hanging out a lot lately with short people!

What happened to my usual gang of tall friends?

Ever since my exuberant experience with the Lord, I’ve been going to every Church service possible. And my usual gang of friends, well, let’s just say, they do not consider Church attendance a very important part of their Christian life, although most of them turn up on Sundays. Hence on weekdays, for the night services, I go to Church with a different set of people. Short people.

But does that mean I stop hanging out with my old set of friends? No. They are the most amazing bunch of guys I have ever known, and they’ve been my friends since childhood. Just because they do not see the good Lord the way I see Him does not make them any less of a friend. During my “peniel", one of the most persistent requests I made to the good Lord was not to give me that “Holier than thou” attitude if I ever undergo a transformation.

Our gang of friends, well, we’ve been through a lot together. We used to party together, get drunk, experiment on strange “stuff”, and sometimes sit together at Church and giggle at the good people dancing in the Church consumed by the Holy Spirit. Ah, we were so stupid then.

And there I was, sitting in Church with the same set of friends for the first time since I came out of Camp. I think there was some discomfort in the air around us, but I don’t know if it was because of them or me. And then the song started, and everybody started singing and clapping and dancing… I closed my eyes as I clapped my hands and sang… and I felt this great call from within, urging me to do what I really felt like… at first, I was shy, thinking, what will my friends think of me… but as the chorus of the song filled the Church…

Vân ropui, Eden thar nuam chu,
Lungngaih awm tawh lohna hmun chu;
Aw, engtik nge ka thlen ve ang,
I chatuan lalna ram, êng mawi nuam tak chu?

(Glorious Heaven, the new Eden of total bliss
Where there is no longer sadness/loneliness,
Oh, when will I reach that magnificent Place,
Your eternal Kingdom, with its bright lights of splendor?)

It was at THAT very moment that all thoughts of shyness and hesitation disappeared. I just didn’t care what my friends would think of me. I stood up, something that I never did before, raised my hands, clapped, shouted praises to the good Lord, SCREAMED OUT HALELUIA and sang with all my heart with tears streaming down my face, right there in the midst of all my friends! Ah! I’ve NEVER felt that complete in my entire life. Maybe my friends around me were laughing at me, I just didn’t care. All that mattered was our Lord, Almighty father.

And you know what? After Church, none of my friends even commented on what I did. We continued talking just like we used to, as if nothing strange or different happened. Nobody teased me about it. From that day onwards, I became a regular “one who dance” guy. And boy, it felt GREAT!

Now I truly understood what “M” meant when she told me “A true friend is someone who will not make fun of your beliefs or shortcomings.”

Two years ago, I had the opportunity to spend an entire day shopping with a family friend, M. She was what everyone would call a “nula fel”. I still remember I was a bit nervous that day, because other than the fact that it was the first time I was alone with her, there was also a great contrast in our lifestyle. She was extremely devoted to God, caring, helpful, never uttering a single cuss word, always smiling and cheerful, abstaining from kuhva, cigarettes, chewing tobacco, alcohol etc, pure at heart and definitely a virgin. One cannot help giving such people their profound admiration and respect; they seem to have this divine aura around them. She’s now happily married to a Pastor, serving the good lord at Charachandhpur.

What amazed me that day was, when we paid her closest friends a visit, I was expecting them to be pretty much like her… you know, all the goody goody stuff. I was wrong. So wrong. Her best friend “S” was an unwed mother, uncertain about who the father of her 4-5 months old baby was. Her other friend, also called “S”, turned out to be someone I knew from Bangalore! Not personally, but I’ve seen her a lot at Pubs and Discs back then, partying wildly with Middle-eastern students and alcohol, but not crossing that line of promiscuity.

Later I asked her how come her friends were so different from her, and she just laughed. She told me that those two girls had been her close friends since school, and that there is more to friendship than having similar lifestyles. “How they lead their life does not make them any less of a friend”, she told me, while adding, “but yeah, I do pray for them every night, hoping they will turn more towards God.”

Back in School, our dormitory warden Brother Montfort always used to say, “Identify the bad elements among you, and stay away from them. Do not even mingle with such people”. Hence, when I became a “bad element” later in life, I always used to think the “good elements” were avoiding me. Now I realized all that was just in my head, and that in reality, a good Christian NEVER forsake a fellow Christian friend.

In Paul’s letter to the Thessalonians, Paul wrote, “If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of him. Do not associate with him, in order that he may feel ashamed. Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.” [2 Thessalonians 3: 14-15]

Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.

Amen to that.

Even though I know I am definitely not qualified enough to preach His Holy word to others, one thing I can atleast do is to try making my friends experience what I am going through right now. Hence, everyday, although it takes me just 5 minutes to reach Church, I start off from home 30 minutes early, so that I can visit all my friends on the way and invite them to come with me to Church. Ofcourse so far, no success except on Sundays, but still I will keep trying, and trying, and trying. Not forcefully, but just a humble invitation coated with a genuine smile.

Remember that popular born again song “Great Change”? We used to sing it in school when I was still studying in Mizoram (1985). It goes like this (Don’t freak out, my memory is not that good! I just happened to dig out my old school song book just the other day )

Chorus: Great change since I was born (3)
There’s a great change since I was born.

1. Things I used to do, I do them no more (3)
There’s a great change since I was born. [chorus]

2. Books I used to read I read them no more (3)
There’s a great change since I was born. [chorus]

3. Songs I used to sing I sing them no more (3)
There’s a great change since I was born. [chorus]

4. Place I used to go I go there no more (3)
There’s a great change since I was born. [chorus]

5. My dear brother, what about you too? (3)
There’s a great change since I was born. [chorus]

The song is about being a born again, and not doing the things we used to do before. However, the song does not mention anything like “Friends I used to have, I have them no more”. Instead, it gently puts forward a request to our friends to rethink about their lives. And I strongly believe that is what we should all do. Never let go of your friends. Grasp them tightly, never letting them stray afar, and lead a life that will make them want to lead such a life too: A good Christian life.