Chp 123. Horoscopic love!

[Tagged: Humor]

How many of you believe in horoscope?

I have come across so many occasions where people would actually judge other people by their horoscope! Suppose your boss has the habit of shouting at everybody in the office; one person is sure to remark, “not surprising, he’s a Leo” . X dumped Y and is now with Z, hence another remark, “X is a Taurean while Y is a Sagittarian. These two are not compatible at all, which is why X is with Z, a Piscean.” You have no idea how hard it is for a person who doesn’t believe in horoscopes standing next to you to control his laughter.

I am a cusp (Aries-Taurean). When my friend Paul, the only guy friend I have who’s hardcore into horoscopes, heard about this, his immediate exclamation was “Duuuude! You’re a freaking cusp! You know how many chicks would fall for that? Mannnn if I were you, I would definitely exploit this chance!” lolz. I guess horoscopic serenading just ain’t my style . I came to know about me being a cusp only a couple of years ago during my Hyderabad days from my dear friend Kini (“bestest” friend types, if you know what I mean). She and I would spend every morning reading our horoscopes together. I would make fun of the various predictions while she would try her best to be serious about it.

Naaah, I don’t believe in horoscopes anymore. The only time I’ve ever believed in it (briefly) was during my High school days when I used to have this gargantuan crush on T. She was my childhood sweetheart, but unfortunately I wasn’t hers. She hardly even knew I existed. Horoscope is something like wrestling; you outgrow it with age. And later on as you look back, you find it extremely ridiculous that you once used to ardently believe those things were actually real and genuine.

The daily horoscopes printed on newspapers are so global and generalized that anybody can apply any of it to their life. Many of you horoscope followers will hate me for saying this, but do conduct this little experiment. When a friend asks you to read out her horoscope, read out some other horoscope instead. Trust me, at the end she will still swoon in complete belief and approval, exclaiming “ah, that is soooo true!” .

Horoscopes have never played any role in any of my relationships. Till now, all the women I’ve been emotionally involved with or attracted to are all the eldest in their family. The reason for this is not “horoscopical” but rather psychological. Women with younger siblings are more mature mentally in dealing with the whim and fancy of their younger siblings, and are more understanding and caring when it comes to general people-skills. And since I’m the youngest in my family with three elder sisters, I guess a part of me will always be spoilt and childish. I believe the youngest of any family can never truly outgrow being pampered with love and affection. This should not be confused with maturity. The youngest of a family may be very responsible and mature with his studies, work and life, but there will always be a thin streak of childishness when he’s alone with his elder sisters.

I’m just trying to imagine what would have happened had I taken Paul’s advice and played the cusp card. In my mind, there I was walking up to an attractive lady sitting all alone at the bar table inside a discotheque with “single and ready to mingle” written all over her face, smile, posture and body language. I cleared my throat as I bent over to whisper into her ears, “Hi, how yoooo doing? I’m a cusp”. And as soon as I uttered the magical word “cusp”, her face immediately lit up as she raised her pretty eyebrows revealing a twinkle in her eyes. She looked at me like a starved African Lion looking at a luscious plump zebra galloping just two feet away. Then she suddenly pounced on me and threw me on top of the bar table. She dived on top of me as she screamed while tearing her clothes “Oh My God! A CUSP! You’re a cusp!!! Take me! Take me! Give it to me right here you mighty mighty mighty cusp! Give it to meeeee!!!”

Naaah.

That will never happen. But I’m pretty sure my friend Paul thinks that can actually happen. Hehehehe .