Chp 186. Airing!

Ah the amusement of airing! A comical incident with an auto-driver a few days ago:

Whenever I travel by an auto all alone, I usually listen to my mp3 player which I always carry with me. My playlist consists of an assorted collection of trance, rock, hiphop, scandinavian gothic and country. The auto I took that day happened to be one of those “hi-fi” autos with huge speakers at the back complete with woofers, sub-woofers and tweeters.

And just when I was mesmerizing to the song of “wish you were here” by Floyd, my dear driver suddenly decided to blast the music from his auto!

It was indeed not a very pleasant time listening to a “remix” of Pink Floyd and some marathi song in the background.



So I switched to Rammstein and pumped up the volume to max on my mp3 player because I didn’t have the heart to tell him to switch off his music as he just looked so damn happy enjoying the music.

After sometime I too got into the groove and eventually started air-guitaring and air-drumming to stein and Rob Zombie. Yeah that was me. I just love to do those if I really enjoy a particular song.

And the funny thing was, every time a vehicle overtook us or we stopped at a red signal, people around my auto always looked at me and smiled. And then I realized why! To those people, it must have been amusing to see me air-guitaring and air-drumming to a marathi song with such a serious face!

I love to air-guitar. Maybe it’s because I can’t actually play the guitar in real life, I don’t know…

Knowing just the basic chords and a few popular leads like sweet child o’ mine and nothing else matter, I guess air-guitaring is the next big thing for a person like me. I hear they even have a worldwide competition on air-guitaring!

Anyway, some of us just love to air things… Funniest thing is when I’m suddenly thinking about a basketball move and I am there sitting in a crowded bus suddenly air-shooting, when I realize others are looking at me! With my hands up in the air I then had to act as if I was yawning or stretching

I have seen many guys air-bowling as if they are playing in a cricket world cup. I’ve seen people air-kicking a football. And yes, I’ve noticed people air-smashing as if they are in a volleyball, tennis or badminton match. That’s the fun about airing. The higher your power of imagination is, the more fun it is to air stuff.

We even air-sing, holding an imaginary mike in our hand when our favorite song is playing on the boom box. We air anything that we like or do. Some like to air-hiphop by mimicking west-coast east-coast symbols with their fingers, or sometimes just the plain old “three seconds violation” symbol Bhangra music fans air-bhalle bhalle. Tamil music lovers air-…. can't describe it in words, you know what I’m talking about right?

Won’t it be funny if people start airing things that they do occasionally? I’m trying to picture many of my blog-friends air-typing as they travel in a train or while sitting in the loo! Hehehee.

Politicians would be there air-accepting kickbacks, and we the aam aadmi would be there air-bribing an imaginary cop. Heh that would be a funny sight indeed. Activists would be air-throwing a stone, “Get Gorgeous” and “Splitsvilla” girls would be air-bitching about the other contestants, and boybands would be there air-lipsyncing.

Reminds me of an old sexist joke our chemistry lab professor told us a long time ago in School: “Why do auto drivers’ wives have bigger left breasts than their right? Because they intend to press that side while they are sleeping thinking it’s the horn.” And we would all laugh. Spare me the sexism, I was brought up in a residential boys boarding school

Wonder how air-doggying would be like?

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Ah... Air-doggying is about getting down on all fours and mimicking a bark. What were you thinking???

One of the most prominent airing actions in our Indian society to me is the south Indian action for eating. You take your hand to your mouth and that means you’re asking/telling someone if they want to eat or whether they have eaten. The Russell Peters take on this action was hilarious. As for me, I still have the habit of doing that, along with the “horizontal head shake” and I really enjoy doing them.

Looking forward to getting together with a couple of hard rock fans and spending the evening air-performing songs like fear of the dark, enter sandman, a tout le monde, cemetery gates, feel so numb etc and pushing up the notch later to children of bodom, slipknot, testament etc. The greatest thing about doing all these is that nobody’s ever gonna tell you your guitar is out of tune or you missed a beat… Oh such a fun night it would be!

No wonder guys like us don’t have girlfriends

Keep airing. Cheers!