Chp 208. Are you an average man? :)

Of late, many of us are bombarded with the vimax penis enlargement ads!

At first I thought these guys were going on a mega advertising spree but I grew suspicious when I started noticing these ads at sites such as bbc, ebay, technorati, ndtv, mtvindia, nat geo etc! And then whenever I come online from my sister’s laptop or from a Sify Cyber café, I could never see the same ads.

These are some of the ads:





At first I thought it was ip specific, kinda like a new hybrid of viral advertisement where the ad cookies determine whether you can access the ads or not based on your browser history (something like how adsense works where the displayed ads are based on the content of your particular post). I assumed that if you have cyber-nanny installed or your office bans you from visiting certain restricted sites like personal yahoo mail, orkut, myspace etc, then you may not be able to see these ads.

I was wrong.

Today as I was surfing for more details regarding this ad, I came across this interesting discussion thread.

http://discussions.apple.com/thread.jspa?threadID=1749920&tstart=0

Allison says:

As I mentioned yesterday this is a browser hijack malware and nothing to do with your OS, server side issues or anything similar.

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12th root of 2 says:

The answer is: You have a Trojan Horse called DNSChanger 1.1 or other variation that is causing unauthorized ads to load in place of various websites’ scheduled ads.

The Trojan Horse is most likely in (root) /library/Internet Plug-Ins, but don't bother to try to find it in the finder or with spotlight - It's invisible. A free trial version of MacScan will find it, isolate it, and allow it to be trashed.

Be sure to do a full scan of the entire hard drive –
I found the Trojan in the “main” library – not the user library. If you purchase MacScan, you can perform custom scans of smaller areas of the hard drive.
You don’t need to re-install Safari
You don’t need to disable your JavaScript
You don’t need to disable your Plugins
You don’t need to install blocking programs
Just get rid of the Trojan Horse!

So there you go. This is not an aggressive marketing pitch but rather a stupid malware. Come to think of it, when was the last time we received a proper decent penis enlargement advertisement that was not associated with spam?



I like the way this company directly attacked the "size doesn’t matter" theory:

Vimax.com

Don't buy in to the myth that says women don't care about the penis size. If you are small then it doesn't matter how good of a person you are, because you won't hold on to your loved one for long.

So basically, this company is all out to prove that romance is dead and all women are a Jenna Jameson or a Sylvia Saint or a late Linda Lovelace (err… I googled those names…)

Another point I just love:

You control the growth because once you reach your optimum size you could stop taking VIMAX PILLS. We say you could stop taking VIMAX PILLS because it is not necessary to be larger then 9 inches. Most women can only comfortably accommodate a 9 inch penis. Anything larger than that may be too large for most women. Nine inches or more then 9 inches, the choice is yours.

Haha this is so freaking hilarious! Imagine it is possible to change the size whenever we guys want?

"urrrm… honey, how was your day? Would you like the usual 9 inches for tonight or you prefer the 10 inches?"
"Darling, I had a hard day at office today… I just need to relax. Gimme just 8 inches for tonight if you don’t mind…"
"ok." (concentrates… 8 inches… 8 inches… 8 inches…)
"Ah! Here you go honey. Exactly 8 inches."



Even though the size of one’s manhood is what we guys sometimes joke about, I usually don’t find the same joke coming from the fairer sex. I’m just guessing it is no big deal (pun unintended). Because if this was really that big an issue, how come we do not find that many "famous quotations" by "famous people" regarding this.

Martin Luther King Jr. most definitely did not pep up the crowd with:

"I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the size of their schlong."

Shakespeare too probably did not lament in angst:

"To resize, or not to resize: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The tiny weeny size of outrageous fortune,"

Back home too, can you imagine what it would be like had that magical song from Qayamat se Qayamat Tak went like this:

"Papa kehte hain, bada laand hoyega…"

mmmm…

(Please do pardon my brazen vulgarity on this particular post. Desperate ads require desperate measures.)

Judging from the advertisement above (Surprise her!), Cornelia the first wife of Julius Caesar would have probably said

“I came, I saw, I wasn’t surprised.”

Our man Julius must have been mighty irritated with all the Roman citizens enlarging their… spearitus. The last straw was when he was taking a leak in the toiletorium and Brutus entered to pee and whipped it out…

Julius exclaimed, “Et tu, Brutus!!???”

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Across many cultures (if not all), the size of one’s manhood is usually used as a factor to determine one’s manliness. The bigger the tool, the macho-er the fool, supposedly. Cellular phones are the only thing we men brag about who got the smallest.

And pornos and sleazy ads and irritating spam mails only seem to add more "truth" to the myth that the only thing women want in this world is a well endowed guy - somebody who can stand like a tri-pod, if y’know what I mean.

Sex & the city Samantha cried when the guy she really liked (finally) happened to have a "small one". And since many women worship her, men all over the world are making genuine attempt to make sure that doesn’t happen to them too. Because to be dumped by a woman purely because his "thing" is a thingie, most men would rather be dead than face that ultimate embarrassment.

Well, whether I cry or not, my first intention right now is to remove this freaking malware from my system. Shooooo. Fly away, you big horrible penis.

Special thanx to colleague Aalaap who twitted:

Everyone - edit your windows Hosts file and put "127.0.0.1 b1.adv.net" and rid yourself of this Vimax assault.

How to edit Host files in Vista

Aalaap also continues to blog about this with solutions for firefox, windows, mac and linux users :

Firefox users: Simply right click any of those ads and select "Block images from b1.adv.net..." and you're done. How I wish everything was this simple!

Non-Firefox users running Windows: You have to edit your Windows "hosts" file and add a fake DNS entry for the host "b1.adv.net"...

Cheers to all you average men out there!

If you find this post funny or are one of those users irritated with this Vimax Ad or even one of those guys who are "average", please feel free to digg this post!