Chp 345. April Fooled!

Every time you see an ad about a really good offer, the first thing that comes to your mind is, “Damn, this is too good to be true.” Because you know very damn well there’s always a hidden clause somewhere. The dreaded disclaimer. Always.

For example: An apparel shop that advertises – Buy 2, Get 5 Free! Good offer? Well, if you go to such a shop, you’ll discover that either the two items you have to buy (in order to get 5 free) are extremely expensive, or they are cheap but none of them fit you properly (factory defects).

Or a merchant that offers you Rs. 2000 gift voucher - Only drawback is you have to spend that within the next 2 days at the same store, and that too on selected items only. Or a free pitcher of beer coupon on your next visit, which sadly can be utilized only during the time of a day and week when no one, including you, would be visiting the pub. The list is endless.

I’ve written earlier about how a lot of showrooms and brands give huge discounts at this time of the year, and that one of the main reasons for such discounts is not because of their “end of season clearance” but rather because this is the end of the financial year, hence many of us do not have that much moolah due to tax and investments.

You’ll be really lucky if you can find a deal that gratifies you, you know, that feeling you get when, after shopping the entire day you reach home dead tired dying for a foot rub and you look at all the branded plastic bags lying on your bed and you think of all the money and energy you’ve just spent, but even then you have this large satisfying grin all across your face and you sigh “oh that was one hell of a an amazing shopping session! The deals I got were fantabulous!!! Now lemme put on my new “Ursula” Jimmy Choo spring collection and show off in front of my friends.”



Anyway I stopped being a victim of such discounts a long time ago, but last Saturday I was once again suckered into it.

An early April Fools Day for me.

So last Saturday, me and my *ahemz* decided to check out this full page “Big Bazaar” advertisement we saw on TOI.



Cool right?

I mean, how great was this campaign? Instead of offering just discounts, they were offering great deals - You could sell them your old newspapers, books, clothes electronics etc. and that too at attractive rates! Awesome!

Living in a city like Mumbai, newspapers (and “bottles”) accumulate faster in your house than “performers” running out through the back door when cops raid a dance bar. And I sell my old newspapers at 7 bucks per kg, while Big Bazaar was offering me 30 bucks per kg!

And that’s not all. The other exchange rates:

Old utensils – Rs. 150 per kg
Old shoes – Rs. 100 per kg
Old luggage – Rs. 100 per kg
Old clothes – Rs. 200 per kg
Old electronics – Up to Rs. 10,000 (depending on the quality)

FTW! Not only were we getting amazing exchange rates, we could get rid of all the junk that we didn’t need. Of course the catch was that we had to spend whatever money we received from our “sale” at Big Bazaar itself, which we really didn’t mind. Big Bazaar had a lot of household items we needed, especially when it was almost as if we were paying nothing.

And so, last Sunday we went to Big Bazaar with four heavy bags full of “stuff”.

Oh what fools we were…

Initially, everything went fine. I was a little bit embarrassed carrying all those heavy bags through a Sunday crowd in a renowned Mall (felt a bit cheap, hihihi).

But there were others there too, and an attendant started weighing our things. She noted down all our items category-wise along with their respective weights. I grew a little bit suspicious when she didn’t even bother to check the quality of some of the old clothes we sold, but I quickly brushed the thought aside.





Finally she gave us a receipt and we went inside Big Bazaar.

We submitted our receipt to another employee and she sat in front of her big computer while we waited in great anticipation. She kept referring to her notes here and there, and finally gave us our coupons. The total amount of items we sold was worth a whooping Rs. 3000! Bingo, Jack Pot!

Right then, it really felt good. Right then, I started believing in all those discounts offers again.



But sadly… our joys were short-lived.

Upon closer inspection, it turned out, there was indeed a clause. A fucking clause.

In the midst of our excitement, we failed to notice one very simple (and small) line in the newspaper ad: “Shop for 4-10 times the value of exchange coupons to avail the discounts.”

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrggghhhhhhhhhh!

On the coupons (worth Rs. 3000) that we received, the disclaimer was printed there more clearly. We had to freaking shop for a certain amount in order to use the coupons. For example, if an item costs Rs. 40, I could use Rs. 10 from my coupons and pay the rest using cash. Hence for a 40 bucks item, I just had to spend 30 bucks + 10 bucks from the coupons.

Hence in order to spend the Rs. 3000 coupon we got, we had to buy goods worth Rs. 12,000 from Big Bazaar. From the Rs. 12,000 total cost, we had to pay only Rs. 9000 and the remaining Rs. 3000 could be paid by the coupons value.

And this was only for categories where we had to spend 4 times the amount (fruits, sweets, toiletries etc). For new electronic items, we had to spend 10 times the freaking coupon value. Hence if I wanted to buy electronics and utilize my Rs. 3000 coupon, we had to buy electronics worth Rs. 30,000 and pay only 27,000 while the remaining 3000 could be covered by the coupons.

What a screwed up deal! It was then that we realized, it was much more profitable (for us) had we sold the newspapers for Rs. 7 per kg to our regular scrap dealer. At least his 7 bucks meant 7 bucks. No strings attached.

Yeah yeah, Big Bazaar, you got me this time. BB 1 – Kima 0.

But I will never forget this moment, BB. Nevaaaa! Grrrrrrrrrrr.

Anybody wants extra Big Bazaar coupons? They will expire this coming Sunday only. Feel free to ask me.