Chp 380. Do you do these things too?

 
Just how different are you from others? I’m sure there used to be a point in time when you thought you were unique because you used to do things differently.

Then came the internet and it brought people from all over the world closer. Forget the famous “six degrees of separation” theory, Facebook now claims that everybody is just 3.74 degrees of separation away from each other!

Apart from social networking sites and a host of discussion forums and community sites, humor sites like 9gag.com are where people share their daily unique experiences… and suddenly, you realize you’re not so special and unique anymore because there are also many others just like you.


Below are a few things I do “in my own way”. Tell me if you do the same too…


Distance - I always measure the time and distance between two places I regularly go to, by the number of songs I have listened to on the way.



 

Alcohol -  I keep track of how much I’ve been drinking by the number of ice cubes left in my ice tray, or the duration of an ongoing live football match if I am watching one.



 

Security camera bomber - Whenever I see a surveillance camera when I’m at an ATM or Jewelry store or 5 star hotel or any other place, I always make a face at the camera. Not the stick-your-tongue-out kinda expression, but more of a cool, gangsta, one eyebrow raised “Yo, wassup” kinda nod. And then I try to imagine how the guard at the other end must be reacting had he been watching me.



 

Wrong direction - So you are going to some place and you suddenly realize you are walking in the wrong direction or the wrong street. Do you just turn around? Well, as for me, if there are people watching me (or I think they’re watching me, especially if those “people” are the pretty kind), then I just keep walking in the wrong direction, then act as if my phone is vibrating, pick it up, speak, and then turn around towards the right direction.



 

Porn - Yes, like any other normal hot blooded male out there, I too sometimes watch porn. But I always organize my Porn folder, neatly categorizing each video according to the genre it belongs to. Also, I hate going through a friend’s porn folder where all his videos are mixed and jumbled up.



 


Of roaches and lizards - I know many of you freak out when you see cockroaches and lizards inside your house. When I see a cockroach, my first instinct too is to smash its brains up. I’m no sadist, but those damn spawns of Satan will be bothering me sooner or later. But when it comes to lizards, I leave them in peace. Why? Because they mind their own freaking business, that’s why. In fact, sometimes I even name them.



 

The awkward disconnect - Yup there are times when I speak on the phone when I’m around people and the line suddenly gets disconnected or the reception is not clear, instead of shouting “Heellloooo, helloooo… can you hear me nowww?” like one of those people, I awkwardly (and politely) end the conversation even though I know the person on the other line cannot hear me.



 

The Naked Chef - Since I live in a cozy 1BHK apartment all by myself, sometimes when I’m at home alone during the weekends and not at a friend’s place or when I’m not having any company over, I love spending a quiet evening all alone, cooking, naked.



 


So… how many of you do these things the way I do too? :)