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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Chp 50. Of older women n younger guys

It took me quite a while to come out with an opening line for this particular post. I thought of “Why do older women find us younger guys so cute, adorable and irresistible?” But then I’m not that young anymore, and not that cute too

Through out the ages, the male species have always had this strange unexplainable fascination towards the older female species. The laws of attraction proscribed such a relationship stating that a man reaches his peak of sexuality at the age of 45’ish while the female species reach that around 35. Hence a gap of 10 years has always been commended. Yet, the male species is always attracted towards the older female counterpart. Why?

I’ve always been curious with this strange phenomenon but it has never really bothered me enough to rehash this matter in-depth, until tonight when a very close friend of mine called up and told me he has completely fallen heads over heels with this new woman in his life. She is 21 years older than him, a widow with three kids, two 16 and 18 years old sons and a 21 years old daughter. And he’s only just 25!

He called me up because he considered me to be a “man of expertise”! LoLzzz. Anyway, at first I was completely amused at the whole situation. A 25 years old and a 46 years old? But then, it dawned to me, I know so many of my really close friends who are very serious with their girl-friends who are much older than they are.

My friend told me it’s the best sex he ever had. Now that is not something new. When guys talk and the topic shift to older women, one of the crude jokes they, I mean, we, usually make is that, older women are more experienced in bed. But from experiences that many of my friends had, it’s not just the sex. There is this very mysterious attraction that pulls young men towards them. Sex is sex. Unless there is a deep mutual emotional understanding and attraction between the couple, it’s all the same. Then what is it that makes man so satisfied with the sexual relationship he just had with an older woman?

Spoke to another very close friend of mine who is like one of my sister’s best friend. She’s 37, currently seeing somebody who’s 26 (just a freaking year older than me). My apologies for waking her up at 4 in the morning just to ask her this question. But then, I was a bit tipsy and curious as Hell.

Why do older women fall for younger guys? Because it makes them feel younger and rejuvenates them. It brings out the fire they once thought was extinct a long time ago. Younger men who really care about them don’t care about the stretch marks on their belly or the extra fat accumulating on their forearms or the wrinkles appearing on their forehead amidst the gray hair. To most women, age is a sacrilege word. Tell them they are getting older and they come flying towards you with sharp finger-nails ready to dig deep within your flesh.

But why do younger men fall for older women? I guess it’s because many of us needs to be pampered, just like how our dear mums or elder sisters do. Through-out time, we’ve grown fonder with the affection shown unto us by older women. Sub-consciously, it registers deep inside our twisted minds and triggers the release of unprecedented pheromones.

The laws of attraction somehow makes man feel safer with an older woman. Just like his elder sisters or cousins who are always there to look-out for him, he has some sort of a complete trust in an older woman. We’ve always been hyped as the superior sex. But those of us who had been brought up with somebody always looking after us (this is in particular, very common in our Indian society) and especially those of us who are the youngest with elder siblings always watching our back, it is not surprising at all to fall for a girl older than us.

Girls mature faster than boys. That’s the Universal truth. Yet I’ve come across so many of my friends in a serious relationship with women much older than they are. What do they all see in them? I guess it brings about a certain level of comfortness. Older women don’t usually play around with their emotions as most younger lasses do. Older women know they’ve lived the prime of their life already and are now looking for a nice quiet settlement. Touché.

Another wild assumption. When a younger guy manages to “bag” an older woman, guess it brings about a great sense of achievement. Fills his head with new found ego, maybe. Accomplishment at its highest peak.

Anyway, I may be wrong on a few grounds here, but the writing on the wall is simple. Younger men always have a thing for older women. This is probably one of the reasons why the “MILF” series of “mature porn” is doing so well in the sex and sleaze market.

I will never forget what one of my closest frens from Hyderabad told me two years ago. We used to take her trip as to why she never sees anyone of our own age group and why all her “guys” are just high school and college kids. She told us directly “What younger guys lack in experience, they make up for it in passion”. Hmmm… must be true I guess.

I hope this post of mine has nothing to do with the fact that my girl-friend, the love of my life, is 10 days older than me. I love her truly, madly, deeply, not because of her age but because of the way I feel whenever I talk to her and hear her sweet sweet voice… May our love grow deeper and stronger with each and every passing day. Amen.


Paul Johny said...

oooooooohhhhhhhhh...! im itching to comment!!!!!!! ;)

illusionaire said...

Johnyyyyy!!! bastard where have you been all these time??? How'z life man. Havent heard from you in a looong time. And, uh, ahem, what exactly do u mean ur itching to comment? u got a girlfren younger than you, and i had one younger than me those days. I don't seem to see any connection. :-P

No Hidden Depths said...

Nice post, was awaiting this one!!
Girls mature faster than boys.
Some lady once told me that the ultimate combo can come about by doing some maths...
Lets say you are 30. so your ideal wife should be 30/2+7 i.e. half your age plus 7 years...comes to 22...
For you it would be 19.5 *grin*

illusionaire said...

ok for you its 21 :-P

anyways no big deal, do remember that you're also one of the reason why i wrote this particular post... how does it feel to have a grilfren 10 months older than you :-P

No Hidden Depths said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
No Hidden Depths said...

Never noticed that she was elder than me till I asked.
You hall tank!!:D

J said...

Shame I didnt see this before my huried and typo-riddled comments on your tagboard. Delete them if you can cos I disown them as of this minute!
Anyway I dont know where you got your crazy statistics from but this is an issue close to my heart, being "an older woman" to most guys I know, and I've read up lots of stuff on it...even started a thread on it online on, where lots of other people just love this topic to bits, seems like, cos there's always some newbie posting a new thread on this every coupla weeks.
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you again right here for all the world *sic* to see... men hit their sexual peak in the early to mid-20s and women in their late 30s to mid-40s. And in total contradiction to your blithe assertion, most 45-ish guys can't get it up too well anymore. Sad,hey?

illusionaire said...

Well J, am just quoting what I read in Reader's Digest a long time ago, that the preferable age between a man and his spouse should be around 10 years, not just because of the different times at which they reach their sexuality peak (which you disagreed), but also because of their mentality... A girl 10 years younger than a man is supposed to be on the same maturity level... dont look at me, thats what the experts say.

yeah i've seen all those age related posts at a long time ago. But most of them are about younger girls (read americans) falling for older guys.

Anyways, I'm sure when I'm 45, I'll still be as active as ever, as long as that right person is still by my side. Thats why people say marraige is not just about attraction or sexuality. With deep emotional connection, I'm sure a 90 years old grandpa would still be able to do it. As age progressed, sex becomes more of the mind (and the heart) than what lies South.

Rohit Kumar said...

I think the idea of being "In control" has a -role-to-play- in the equation describing older women attraction to younger men !

And the other way around, its the scope of being pampered, ofcourse.

J said...

" Readers' Digest a long time ago"...that xplains why you're so hopelessly outdated, Shags. I mean let's face it, RD's a conservative family mag that's not exactly hip on the latest in man-woman interpersonal relationships.

Rohit, you hit the nail right on the head...yep I like younger men because they're easier to control. Best thing is they don't mind at all either! Besides they don't come with a lot of emotional baggage, like most older guys, or are too obsessed with power politics at work etc etc..

Btw Shags, surprise surprise, I know Eve personally! I also know a guy who's been in love with her for years...a guy who's as fel as she is. I think they'd make a better match than you do actually...

illusionaire said...

Yo Rohit, long time! :) Yeah, sometimes we just love being pampered dont we. :)

he he "J" very phunnie. Still taking out your jealousy on me? *GRIN* Dont worry dahling, I aint gonna wait till I'm as old as u are to tie the knot (plus waiting 24 more years is still a very long time.. he he he). Yeah I do read RD coz i'm more of a family man than u ever know (the mask i put on at does not qualify as a criteria to judge my character. Eve saw thru the real me, and you haven't yet) but then you arent exactly the typical cosmo girl too, arent ya? *GRIN*

I know it must feel great to control someone when it comes to love, but ask yourself this honestly, is that the love you want? Someone you can control with no reciprocate love from the other person? Me, I want something mutual. A paradise where neither I nor she will be the one who controls; let Love control us. *wainch* :)

and hey J, I totally understand u when it comes to being in control. Guess its an inborn trait for you. Heard about ur "institute". You're doing a really good job there ma'am. Guess for people like you, one must be the one who controls all the time. Keep it up dear.

Rohit Kumar said...

Oh! I thought this was a Yonger men dominated comment page :-))

Anyhow, thanks to J (for something not like Janardhan), i learnt about the Emotional baggage aspect of the deal !

Need to keep that dimension of life in control as i get older i guess :-))

Hey, Kim: Whats been up at your end ? Placements ?? Where is you moving to ??

Julez said...

Interesting read....genuine thought/query!!!!!

Keep blogging.....


Anonymous said...

Aha! The last line cleared my confusion about what the hell you were going on and on about! :-p

Take care dude.

Cali said...

Cool comments from everyone. Don't know about the 'being in control' bit, though, in regards to why older women like younger men. I am an 'older' woman. Most guys my own age are old before their time - for instance, I still love heavy rock music and motor bikes, while most of the older guys I've met are into Michael Buble and campervans!! Hmm, perhaps, I just need to grow up!!

Younger men are fun to be with, and far more accepting and appreciative. You feel you can be yourself around them, and they're happy to just be friends if nothing else is on offer. Older guys can have really fixed ideas of what they want in a woman, and won't give you the time of day if you're not it!

Younger guys like older women because they can be more accepting of them (don't care about your paypacket, job, etc.). Also because they are often more relaxed about life and love, older women can be fun and interesting to be around. There are always exceptions though ...

Sorry, I have rabbited on a bit.

Anonymous said...

Whoo-hoo!!! All I can say is "I'M MOVING TO MIZORAM!!!". Hahahahahaha. Honestly, it is so heart warming to know that somewhere in the world, there are men who love older women. And who love us in spite of our white hair and wrinkles too. That would save us a bomb in botox and peels and face lifts and goodness knows what else! :-)

There was a recent newspaper article here in Singapore that said that women are considered over the hill at 35. That made me feel as if I ought to have one foot in the grave but hey, there's a lot of life in me yet!

In answer to your question why women like younger men, quite apart from the ego factor (I mean who doesn't want to feel attractive especially to someone who's used to being around women half your age?)I will quote from a friend of mine who, in her 50's, had a fling with a guy in his 20's - "they f*** like jack hammers". And then there's all that nice, firm flesh. It's a sad fact of life, Kima, that despite all your best intentions your equipment won't hold up very well with age ;-) Having said that, my friend eventually ended up marrying a really, really old guy. I mean REALLY old. But she has never looked happier. Thank God for viagra?

Seriously, though, it could be the maternal factor. Maybe young guys bring out the protective, nurturing instincts that some women thrive on.

As for men, I've always wondered why they are always chasing after 19 year olds who demand non-stop attention, are always throwing tantrums, tend to be rather shallow and are generally insecure (sorry if I'm over generalising but this I gather from the very same guys who are chasing them). Older women have their own lives to live and thus are not so needy, we have a wisdom that can only come with age and we have learned not to sweat the small stuff. And unlike men, our equipment doesn't start to fail with age (and I suspect we could teach those young girls a thing or two). I guess it must be that thing about firm flesh ..... and/or control and domination.

Kima, I really do enjoy your blogs. Keep them coming! And your photos of Mizoram are so beautiful, I was tempted to go visit one of these days (even before I read this article).

Anonymous said...

this is ridiculous mate... as a young man who's been with a couple of mature ladies, let me tell u that u have it backwards! i only agree with the bit about feeling a sense of achievement when one "bags" a milf as you so tastefully put it :P that complete trust in an older woman crap with the tenuous link you draw with mothers and older sisters is downright creepy! Believe me, older women do not want another child to look after! Cali was spot on when she said that we like older women coz they're far more relaxed about life and love, and they're also often lovely company. Good luck buddy

illusionaire said...

Dear anonymous, anonymous, anonymous, Julez and Cali, first of all my utmost apology for not replying to any of your comments here, as I have kinda ignored this post of mine because I wrote it wayyyyyy back in 2005, and I didn't even know if anybody commented here or not since comment was not moderated back then :)

Thanx to the latest anonymous commenter for notifying me about it. I really don't know if it's even worth replying now, as I'm sure none of you would even be keeping a tab on this post since I never responded :(

Anyway, as my good friend Bobby talked about netiquette and manners regarding blogging, I hope to add a few comment or two, to show my appreciation to you guys for the comment here.

First of all, as mentioned before, I wrote this particular post in 2005, and those days, I was drinking heavily so this is probably (definitely) one of those posts of mine produced from beer and Rum :)

Secondly, opinions do change within the passage of time. So do the way we write and think. As the last anonymous commenter pointed out, maybe women don't want another baggage to carry in the form of a younger boyfriend, but older boyfriends too carry their own extra baggage as is pointed out by my good friend calliopia in the above comments.

Over all, this was just a "phenomena" I was trying to unravel back in 2005, and the situation now is completely different, although not entirely unrelated :) But much thanks to all you guys for commenting at this post which I thought died a long time ago.

Kym said...

One thing that really amaze me about your posts are you always manage to start so interestingly and humorously. And all those extra lines that you add in between the lines weigh your articles. Its too good to read.

illusionaire said...

lolz Kym, how did you manage to dig out such an old post? :D And thanx for the compliment, I hope you keep visiting :-)

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