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Thursday, May 31, 2007

Chp 124. The Ironies of Love

Exactly a year ago, I left Bangalore for good ol’ Mumbai to bunk at my sister’s pad. That was when my heart was grinded, shredded and minced into a gazillion pieces. Kima became Kheema. I sought solace in my sister then, flying to Mumbai from Bangalore just in time for her birthday.

Here I am again today, flying down to Mumbai from Delhi to celebrate her birthday. The only difference is, my heart has completely healed now. Time is a healer they say. How true.

Just like the song of White Lion that goes “There is life even after a broken heart, you can fight the pain from a broken heart”, I guess the hardest part of any break-up is just the initial phase. A broken heart cannot be cured by alcohol or friends or rebound girlfriends or watching Oprah Shows all alone. The only cure is time. Had I prayed to the Good Lord, I would have definitely felt better, but back then I wasn’t the person I am right now.

One thing I have realized when it comes to this game of cat and mouse is that people who are in a relationship seem to have this know-it-all attitude about anything related to love, and those who aren’t in any relationship have a very cynical attitude about it.

The ones who think they know everything about love (especially the newly married folks), tends to irritate you up to the brink of insanity, obliviously encouraging you to point that shot-gun towards them: “You know, buddy, love is not about how she looks or speaks. It’s about feelings.” And picture in your mind your smelly hairy ugly obnoxious colleague clasping his hands firmly as soon as he uttered the word “feelings”… Aaaargh, wouldn’t you wanna commit hara-kiri too?

And then there are those who are completely skeptical about love, especially the recently dumped ones. Utter the word “love” and they’ll look at you as if you’re inflicted with the most repulsive contagious pus imaginable. The mere sentence “I think we should reconsider our situation and slow things down a bit, maybe see other people” can turn the World’s greatest amorist into the coldest cynical misogynist.

Ah, the tides of love .

Funny how all things corny and mushy makes you wanna run to the loo to throw up, and yet, when that same thing happens to you, you’re like, wowww what hit me??? It’s something like swearing never to fall in love again after an unfortunate experience, only to fall a victim to the seductive call of Aphrodite all over again.

That my friends, is how materialistic love toy with our hearts over and over and over again. Love swoops into our life and sweeps away all sense of reason. Sometimes it makes us even dumber than a baby toddler. You tell the young child, “Sonny, don’t touch that. It is hot. It is called fire!” or “Don’t shove your teeny weeny fingers inside that electrical socket”, chances are, he will probably do it. But the difference is, once he realize how much it hurts, he will never do it again. We, on the other hand, are fully aware of the consequences, yet repeat it nevertheless. It’s something like that joke “One sure evidence that there exists superior extra-terrestrial life beyond Earth is that they haven’t tried to contact us” .

Still, that is how life is. C’est la vie.

In any relationship, it is of utmost importance to realize which World we live in. People too engrossed in romantic novels à la M&B sometimes make the mistake of trying to live out that delusion dream of a perfect relationship with a perfect Prince Charming. And while doing so, often make the mistake of missing that oh so obvious train stopping right in front of them.

Girl, here’s a radical suggestion. Throw away your Carole Mortimers, Emma Darcys and Daniel Steeles. Try reading Guy-ie magazines instead (not the graphical kind). Because what is the point in reading such mushy books when it is a known fact that we guys will never read them?

It’s something like table manners. Girl reads book on table etiquette. Guy reads book on table etiquette. Girl and Guy sit together at table. Things work out fine because the guy does everything the girl wishes him to do, according to the book on table manners.

But when it comes to love, girl reads girlie mags, guy does not read girlie mags, and hence does not do the things the girl expects. And in the end she tells her friends that he is unromantic and unaffectionate. Here’s a thought. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the guy is romantic and affectionate, and that the problem lies with the girl being over-romantic and over-affectionate?

I mean, is there a tangible standard definition of what romance actually is? To a girl, romance can be a candle lit dinner, red wine and Michael Bublé playing at the background, whereas to a guy, romance can very well be a greasy KFC zinger burger, a can of Kingfisher beer and Metallica blasting at the background. You might say, “use your common sense, the second option is not romantic at all”. Now hold that thought for a moment while I explain my theory of “burger + heavy metal” romance . The very word “common-sense” means that the knowledge is common. The question you should ask yourself is, “made common by what?” Made common of course by all those M&B writers, Archies & Hallmark cards and sophisticated restaurants thinking of different ways to increase their profit.

Seriously, here is a food for thought. Giving a rose to your loved one, no matter how clichéd that is, can still pass on as something “sweet”. Now are you really giving that rose because it is sweet, or because it is a depiction of being sweet as is observed in the movies and novels? Take the Holy Bible for example. There are many great love stories in there, especially King Solomon’s “Song of Songs”. Yet we never find anybody actually “getting down on their knees to admit their undying love” or “holding hands and walking together by the idyllic shores of the Red Sea drenched in myrrh and frankincense while romantically sharing an exotic plate of barbequed manna”. The Love mentioned in the Bible is pure, unadulterated and direct, with no extra fittings. The extra fittings are just an invention of the human mind along the passage of time for that “feel-good” factor.

Anyway I guess those are the ironies of love.
  • You play with fire, you get burnt. Yet the spirit of love never dies.
  • There is no love without hurt.
  • Things you used to find too corny and “so not you” suddenly become your very principle of existence the moment you fall in love.
  • The moment you fall out of love, you suddenly have this strange unexplainable hatred for all the opposite sex. The harder you fall, the deeper your hatred.
  • No matter how “artificial” some of our behaviors are when it comes to love, you still do them nonetheless.
Have a great week ahead.

Ps. I will try updating my blog from Mumbai, but will most probably not able to update the “blog section” of until then, keep the faith everybody.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Chp 123. Horoscopic love!

[Tagged: Humor]

How many of you believe in horoscope?

I have come across so many occasions where people would actually judge other people by their horoscope! Suppose your boss has the habit of shouting at everybody in the office; one person is sure to remark, “not surprising, he’s a Leo” . X dumped Y and is now with Z, hence another remark, “X is a Taurean while Y is a Sagittarian. These two are not compatible at all, which is why X is with Z, a Piscean.” You have no idea how hard it is for a person who doesn’t believe in horoscopes standing next to you to control his laughter.

I am a cusp (Aries-Taurean). When my friend Paul, the only guy friend I have who’s hardcore into horoscopes, heard about this, his immediate exclamation was “Duuuude! You’re a freaking cusp! You know how many chicks would fall for that? Mannnn if I were you, I would definitely exploit this chance!” lolz. I guess horoscopic serenading just ain’t my style . I came to know about me being a cusp only a couple of years ago during my Hyderabad days from my dear friend Kini (“bestest” friend types, if you know what I mean). She and I would spend every morning reading our horoscopes together. I would make fun of the various predictions while she would try her best to be serious about it.

Naaah, I don’t believe in horoscopes anymore. The only time I’ve ever believed in it (briefly) was during my High school days when I used to have this gargantuan crush on T. She was my childhood sweetheart, but unfortunately I wasn’t hers. She hardly even knew I existed. Horoscope is something like wrestling; you outgrow it with age. And later on as you look back, you find it extremely ridiculous that you once used to ardently believe those things were actually real and genuine.

The daily horoscopes printed on newspapers are so global and generalized that anybody can apply any of it to their life. Many of you horoscope followers will hate me for saying this, but do conduct this little experiment. When a friend asks you to read out her horoscope, read out some other horoscope instead. Trust me, at the end she will still swoon in complete belief and approval, exclaiming “ah, that is soooo true!” .

Horoscopes have never played any role in any of my relationships. Till now, all the women I’ve been emotionally involved with or attracted to are all the eldest in their family. The reason for this is not “horoscopical” but rather psychological. Women with younger siblings are more mature mentally in dealing with the whim and fancy of their younger siblings, and are more understanding and caring when it comes to general people-skills. And since I’m the youngest in my family with three elder sisters, I guess a part of me will always be spoilt and childish. I believe the youngest of any family can never truly outgrow being pampered with love and affection. This should not be confused with maturity. The youngest of a family may be very responsible and mature with his studies, work and life, but there will always be a thin streak of childishness when he’s alone with his elder sisters.

I’m just trying to imagine what would have happened had I taken Paul’s advice and played the cusp card. In my mind, there I was walking up to an attractive lady sitting all alone at the bar table inside a discotheque with “single and ready to mingle” written all over her face, smile, posture and body language. I cleared my throat as I bent over to whisper into her ears, “Hi, how yoooo doing? I’m a cusp”. And as soon as I uttered the magical word “cusp”, her face immediately lit up as she raised her pretty eyebrows revealing a twinkle in her eyes. She looked at me like a starved African Lion looking at a luscious plump zebra galloping just two feet away. Then she suddenly pounced on me and threw me on top of the bar table. She dived on top of me as she screamed while tearing her clothes “Oh My God! A CUSP! You’re a cusp!!! Take me! Take me! Give it to me right here you mighty mighty mighty cusp! Give it to meeeee!!!”


That will never happen. But I’m pretty sure my friend Paul thinks that can actually happen. Hehehehe .

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Chp 122. Speech in Mizoram

One of my closest friends Isaac (Online nick: Jupiter) called me up the other day:

"Bastard, don't tell me you're the same Kima who gave a motivational speech on career guidance at Dawrpui School recently?"

"Uhhhh... yeah. How in the World did you find out about thattt???"

"My girl-friend is studying in that same school and she told me about it. I knew there won't be that many Kimas in Mizoram who can pull off something like that while making it interesting at the same time. Plus she mentioned about IIM-Bangalore..."

"Your girl-friend is in 12th standard? Oh my God!!! Catching them young huh? Is she into M&B novels or she's still at the barbie doll phase? Ever heard of statutory rape? You're one step away from pedophilia..." And the tables turned and I ended up taking his trip even before he could continue with his plan to take my trip. Wrong day to pick on me Isaac :)

So that's what I did, on the last day of my stay in Mizoram a month ago before flying down here to Delhi: Gave a speech infront of a large School audience on the topics: Career, Enginerring, MBA, UPSC and "studying outside Mizoram". Yeah if my friends Amol, Tommy, Monu, Amra, Ankita, Shubha etc ever knew about this, they would all die laughing.

Two of my UPSC tutors at MU (Mizoram University) - Dorothy (English) and Pratab (GS), invited me to give a small pep talk at Dawrpui School of Science and Technology, Aizawl. At first I was a bit reluctant of course, but then, never underestimate the persistence of an English teacher: Dorothy’s continuous bombardments of complex English vocabulary finally annihilated the very last bit of resistance within me: I gave the speech just before leaving Mizoram.

Speaking in front of an audience is a cakewalk for me now, thanks to my short stint at IIMB, where our speeches were not only monitored and judged on the spot, but also videotaped for further analysis. Stage fear was not a problem; neither was coming up with an impromptu speech. The only problem was, I’ve never studied in Mizoram since class 2, hence I had no idea what level should my speech be tuned to for my target audience.

On D-Day, I walked into the class. The students of both sections were packed into the auditorium, with the teachers hovering by the sides. I stood on the podium, took a deep breath and looked around. Girls clearly outnumbered the boys. I also felt that the girls had too much make-up on them for merely class 12 students, but then, maybe that’s the practice in Mizoram.

Prof. Bringi Dev, my beloved Managerial Communications Prof always used to say, "The key to making a great speech lies entirely in the opening line; Make it interesting and you have the audience’s unmitigated attention throughout the speech; Screw that up and expect tomatoes to be thrown at you". My opening line was, “Ah. 12th standard. I’ll do anything to relive those days again. To be young, carefree and wild once again. To fall madly in love with a person sitting in your class thinking he or she is the one you’re going to end up with for the rest of your life. Well, let me assure you that that will not happen. Similarly, you will most definitely not end up doing what you dream about the most. And that is what I am here to talk about.” Hook, line and sinker.

Trick no.2: Body languages, eye contacts, dramatic pauses, spontaneity, confidence, enthusiasm etc to increase the audience’s attention, a fact that need not be mentioned here.

Trick no.3: Making them comfortable. The more comfortable they are, the more they open up. During the Q&A round, the first student to ask me a doubt stood up and addressed me as "Sir". My immediate reaction was quick smirk followed by an immediate gesture to make him sit down. I told them not to call me "sir" or stand up, and that everything should be casual and informal. I sincerely believed more students ended up asking more questions because of that.

I talked about Engineering and MBBS. I cleared one of the biggest misconceptions about computer engineers in Mizoram, where most people think a Comp Engg is just someone who can fix your computer that won't boot, or install Windows and Anti-virus, repair system registry and configs, recover corrupted/lost files, download codecs for movie files etc etc. I told them the real meaning of a software engineer, and explained about programming using different languages, and also the importance of Maths in any engineering field.

Trick no.4: A brief joke here and there, especially if directed against one of their teachers, makes everything seem more interesting *naughty grin*. I took Pratab's trip on a couple of occasions: The entire class laughed, and when I returned to my topic, the response from the students was much fresher. And then of course I couldn't help cracking a sexist Engineering joke. Like, when I explained about the trend in which more males go into engineering than their female counterparts, I slip by a brief jest: Suppose there is an engineering crisis, say an electrical fuse. A man will look at the fusebox and try to analyse what is wrong. Is the transistor malfunctioning? Is there a loose connection somewhere? Is the input power voltage too low? A woman on the other hand, will first think, ok if I’m going to fix that, what dress should I wear? Will the color of the fusebox go with my nail-polish? Will the spark reveal the foundation on my cheek?

I can wholeheartedly say I captured the student's undivided attention especially when I was talking about MBA, explaining what marketting, HR, finance, consultancy etc were all about, although I confess I did get a little bit carried away with some of my examples, judging from some of the blank expressions on the students' faces. Hehehe. Anyway, I sure am glad I was able to clear a lot of the students' doubts. The entire speech including the Q&A round was estimated to go on for around 30mins to an hour; Instead we easily crossed 2 hours of amazing class participation.

Another topic I really enjoyed talking about was on "the life of a Mizo studying outside Mizoram", where I warned them about the dangers of "parental detachments", that they should all be extremely careful about not attending classes and about the "night life" of the metros that could devour them into pieces if they did not have any self-control. The girls should especially be aware of the fact that they would no longer be under the protective eyes of their parents and the Mizo society, hence there would always be guys around at every nook and corner ready to "do something to them that they will regret later". I warned them about the liberalness of the places outside Mizoram where one could acquire not just alcohol but street drugs freely unlike in Mizoram.

All in all, I felt a strange feeling of satisfaction and contribution to the welfare of our society after giving that speech. Even though I knew that these children would definitely be given such warnings by their parents or friends, I felt better knowing I personally played a small role in carving out the giants that they would be later on in life. God bless them all.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Chp 121. To dimple or not to dimple

[Secular post, tagged: Humor]

Is smiling discriminative? I mean, for a dimpled guy smiling with all thirty-two teeth glaring & dazzling, is it sexually demeaning for him to portray such a “feminine” pose?

That’s what myheritage seems to think so. A fantastic site I came across at Marzie’s blog, it is a place where you can upload your pic and search for your celebrity look-alikes. I uploaded my pic, a great Kodak moment, only to get a result of 10 celebrity look-alikes, all women! Aaaaargh.

But then, it struck me. Yes, this is definitely a case of sexism! So I googled for (dimple smile) Shah Rukh Khan’s pic online and replaced my snaps with his. Viola, again I got a result with the fairer sex dominating the scene.

Sexists! A whole bunch of female chauvinists out there! Who made a declaration that dimple smiles are exclusively a girl’s thing? Bring out the banners Ma’, me and muh boys are gonna march down “Raj Path” and “Vidhan Soudha” protesting this gross sexual discrimination. Especially in this age of metrosexuality, it is a crude depiction of men to be compared to women just because of our dimples! Burn the conservatives. Brothers, unite!

If Martin Luther King Jr. was alive today, his immortal speech would probably go something like:

>> I have a dream, that one day this Nation will rise together as one, not just men and women, but also men with dimples, to live out the true meaning of its creed, that all men are equal, whether they have dimples or not.

>> I have a dream that one day the State of Maharashtra, a state sweltering with heat of injustice and oppression among the dimple haves and have-nots, will be transformed into an oasis of dimple-freedom and dimple-justice.

>> I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Rajasthan the sons of men with dimples and the sons of dimple-less men will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood.

>> I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the dimple on their face but by the content of their character.

>> I have a dream that one day man, with or without dimples, will look at a woman straight in the face and scream out at the top of his lungs, “who let the toilet seat down?”

One smart-aleck once said, “The weaker sex is usually the stronger sex because of the weakness the stronger sex have for the weaker sex”. He probably said that after being manipulated and exploited endlessly by his androphobic girl-friend. He was also probably drunk, and probably had a dimple too.

Dimplophobia: Fear of dimples

It is a known fact that most of us guys don’t care as much as the women about how we look. And even if we do care about our looks, the only thing we want to look like, is to look “cool”. The word “cool” in this perspective covers a wide range: We wanna be as cool as Bruce Willis in “Die Hard”, or Keanu Reeves in “Constantine” & “Matrix”, or Orlando Bloom as “Legolas” in “LOR”, or James Gandolfini in “The Sopranos”… That’s what we guys mean by being “cool”.

And the one word we definitely do not want to be associated with, is the word “cute”. Ban that word! Cool, good. Cute, bad.

Suppose a guy meets two girls at a social gathering and one of the girls really got to like him a lot and mentions that he is really cute, the guy would of course beam with self-conceit. But when he goes back to his group of guy friends and they ask him what happened, I can bet my dimples that he would not tell them she used the word “cute” to describe him. Instead he would probably lie and said she found him “cool”.

And you know what? Cute is sometimes defined by the presence of dimples. I admit people never find me cute, at least when they are sober. But still, I guess that’s better than being called ugly or repulsive or Gollum or Jabba the Hutt or Jar Jar Binks.

This is what myheritage churned out when I submitted a pic of me with no dimples and with no smile.

That, I like. Until then, I will spend sleepless nights turning and tossing from the fact that the formula “Me + Dimple + Smile = Female” is there for everybody to see, laugh at and mock.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Chp 120. SRS - Simulating “Reverend” Spiderman?

Yesterday we went and saw Spiderman-3. T’was a lot of fun. But being a comic freak, one can’t help grumbling a bit about the deviation from the “Ultimate Spiderman” series (the movie was based more on the original version of 1960’s) – According to my huge collection of Marvel and DC comics, Venom was created in a lab by Peter Parker’s dad, Gwen Stacy was more of a street-smart rebel, Sandman was never involved in the murder of Ben Parker etc etc. But hey, I will survive.

With great power come great responsibilities.

Immortal words by Ben Parker. Clichéd and hackneyed, but at the same time deep and insightful. I think there is a great lesson to be learnt from Spiderman. SRS, take note.

Nobody appreciates people who abuse their power, especially if that power is an outcome of a self-proclaimed autocratic societal diktat. Vigilantism, as mentioned in my previous post, is a result of the failure or incompetency of the law and order system. However, there is a big difference between the SRS and the likes of Spiderman, Superman, Batman etc. The method of operation (or should I say execution) of some of the SRS members is more similar to the likes of vigilantes like The Punisher, or when Spiderman wears the Venom suit, or when Superman puts on that red Kryptonite ring…

I appreciate all that the SRS has done for Mizoram when it comes to destroying Proxyvon tablets and other illicit intoxicants. Seriously, that is a truly noble deed.

But… the proverbial but…

That does not mean one can take the law into their hands and play God. Especially when we proudly claim Mizoram to be a Christian State (unconstitutional as that may sound). How Christian is it, when we have blood in our hands, or when the people elected to lead turn a blind eye to such actions?

Leading an unchristian life is unfortunate. But leading an unchristian life because of misinterpreting the teachings of the Bible is tragic. The latter is filled with zealous fervor, fanatically believing that he is fulfilling God’s wishes when in fact all he’s doing is hurting Him.

Rev. Mel White, cofounder of Soulforce, stated: “Historically, people's misinterpretation of the Bible has left a trail of suffering, bloodshed, and death”.

John MacArthur in his article entitled “Interpretation” at Bible Bulletin Board stated:
But it is also true that in many cases there are believers who for a number of reasons misinterpret Scripture. They come to Scripture with their presuppositions and force the Bible to conform to those presuppositions. They come to the Scripture with their predigested theology and their understanding of doctrine perhaps from the past and they want to force the Word of God into that. Or perhaps they are enamored by some prominent teacher or prominent writer and they sort of line up with that individual and they want to affirm what he says or what that group says without regard for a careful understanding of Scripture.
Christian societies have never been a stranger to Bible misinterpretations. Just like how some section of our Mizo society justify their action by claiming it to be the Lord’s commandment, other Christian societies have indeed committed such a faux-pas:

Justification of the notorious Witch hunt in Europe and early American colonies where women were burnt alive at random under false heresy accusations, justification of anti-miscegenation where white supremacists (KKK etc) claim that it is the Lord’s intention to separate different races and prevent them from inter-breeding, justification of “The curse of Ham” that encourages African slavery in America etc.

So the question is, if such a behavior in Mizoram is unchristian, then what kind of a Christian leadership should one expect? The answer, quoting from GotQuestions is:
There is Noah with his perseverance. Or Abraham with his great faith. We could look to Joseph’s unmatched integrity or to Daniel, a man of lofty moral character. Queen Esther showed tremendous courage in a hostile environment while the humble maidservant Ruth is a portrait of quiet dignity and inner strength. And no study in biblical leadership could ignore King David—a man whose passion for God is unparalleled in the pages of Old Testament writings. Moving into the New Testament, we have Mary, the mother of Jesus, who is a model of unequaled virtue. Too, there is Peter with his extra helpings of devotion and enthusiasm. And then we have the Apostle Paul, a man who considered suffering for the sake of the Gospel a reason for great personal joy.
And then of course there is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who is the ideal balance of sacrificial love and unbridled strength, who commands us to be non-violent and remind us that “those who live by the sword will die by the sword”.

It is quite obvious none of the role models of past Christian leaders mentioned above are the ones who go around beating up people fatally in order to cleanse the Christian society. Forming an association to prevent the entry of drugs and alcohol into Mizoram is indeed a good Christian gesture. I truly applaud the SRS for such a valiant effort. *Clap clap clap* But is violence really necessary????

Seriously, if one thinks that violence is essential in order to prevent the perpetuator from committing that crime again, then that person is dwelling in a delusional World. Because if the person’s sole source of income depends purely on drugs trafficking or illicit breweries, trust me, he will keep on committing the crime over and over again until he is caught once more. The only solution to that is imprisonment. That is what Jails are for.

And if there is something wrong with the Jails or people officially assigned to keep such people in prison, then there is something seriously wrong with the Leaders elected by the people. Is it nothing but pure hypocrisy if such a Leader elected by the people stand in front of the Church preaching the good word of the Lord and yet ignoring his duties here on Earth? How can such a Leader even consider himself to be a man of God when he knows very well that the neglect of his responsibility is having such a serious consequence among the masses? How divine is that?

As a Christian majority State, the quality of our Leaders must be devotional. But as long as we claim to be Christians and yet end up ignoring our duties or misinterpreting the passages from the Bible in order to justify our own personal whims, I might as well stick to comparing such leadership in Mizoram to comic characters as mentioned in the beginning. After all, both are fictional.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Chp 119. SRS – Unraveling the Messiah Complex

Being a huge fan of super heroes since childhood with a large collection of DC and Marvel comics, I really used to look up to super heroes such as Batman, Spiderman, X-men, JLA, JLS, Avengers etc. Most of them are vigilantes. Vigilantism usually arises when there is deterioration in the Law & Order situation. In any society, there is a certain threshold of tolerance the hoi polloi can take. Be it the failure or incompetency of a system or the oppression continuously faced by the people, there will definitely come a point in time when such people will no longer be able to tolerate it and take the law into their own hands: The Slave revolt of 137 BC, the Sepoy mutiny of 1857, the MNF rebellion of 1970’s etc.

Hence history has shown us that there are chiefly two main methods of taking the law into one’s own hands in order to “correct” the system:
1) To denounce the group & attack the entire system as a whole.
2) To remain with the group & attack parts of the system (selective).

The first method is what we call as a rebellion, coup d'état, uprising, revolt etc. The second method is what we term as vigilantism. The SRS (Supply Reduction Service), not being a part of the official Law & Order department falls under such a category. Hence there will always be those who loathe the SRS: Drug lords, booze manufacturers, alcoholics and drug addicts, anti-social elements, people who prefer to be an island, and also those with a strong sentiment against human rights violation, guardians of freedom of speech (fourth estate) and expatriates.

I on the other hand, had always been in support of the YMA’s “declaration of war” on A&D (alcohol and drugs). Leaving religious doctrine aside for some of my readers who prefer secular posts, let me mention that A&D also wreck families and society (duh!). I’ve lost close friends and family members to A&D, people who fell a victim to its addictive charm. I’ve also lost another set of close friends and family members, people who stayed clean from such substances but nevertheless fell an innocent victim to the hands of a crazy weapon-wielding drug addict or drunkard. And when the police are incompetent to prevent such an incident from occurring and when we live in a Christian society that pardons such killers (which takes place in the name of Christianity but sometimes is actually more due to societal pressure), it is only natural for a person like me to endorse such aforementioned vigilantism.

Sometimes there may be stray incidents of human rights violations. Of course my heart bleeds whenever I hear about such incidents. I wouldn’t exactly term that as a necessary evil, but weighing the good and the bad together, at least the former outweighs the latter. In places like Nagaland, Manipur etc, “organizations” like NSCN, UNLF, HNLC etc shoot such people at point blank! Things aren’t like that in good ol Mizoram. The SRS functions purely on a voluntary basis, keeping vigil throughout the night at places known for its drug trade routes, destroying “factories” and beating up peddlers from Burma and neighboring states smuggling tons of proxyvon tablets into Mizoram. Hence I always used to hold the SRS in high regards. Until I met H.

“H” is probably the most cynical overblown conceited arrogant braggart I’ve ever known! I met him through a close friend of mine and what turned out to be a simple introduction soon evolved into a regular daily tea-break companionship. He told me that he’s a part of the SRS. At first I was impressed. I’ve never met an actual SRS “foot soldier” face to face before. But soon, I just kept wishing we had never met…

A pure misanthrope at heart, H never stops talking. His mouth always used to go yakity-yakyakyak long before we even sat down inside the tiny tea shop. What I hated the most about him were those phone calls he used to receive while we were all sitting together sipping tea. He would listen for sometime and then yells out an order “yes, beat them up” or “Don’t let them go. I’m on my way. Just don’t release them, the bastards”. I always used to feel slightly sick in my stomach whenever he uttered those words on the phone, and that too with such a pompous air of authority.

Living in an opinionated world, all of us have our own opinion about almost everything: We have our own peculiar likes and dislikes. H seems to dislike everything. He criticizes everything and anything that moves- Here are a few of his “golden” misanthropical opinions I can still remember:
  • Drug abusers – Scums of society. Should be beaten up.
  • Drug peddlers – Should be severely beaten up!
  • Illicit booze manufacturer – Burmese illegal immigrants, should be beaten up and sent back to Burma.
  • Politicians – All corrupted.
  • Civil servants and other officers – All corrupted.
  • Government employees – All lazy, do nothing at office except eat “paan” and talk about sex with their colleagues and laugh with red teeth and fat bellies.
  • Police (Excise) – All drunkards.
  • KTP – Do not drink alcohol but smokes a hell lot, and also drinks tea every five minutes at the expense of the community members.
  • Synod – Have forgotten their true purpose of serving the Lord, are now only concerned about their status (I didn’t get what he meant by this though).
  • MHIP – Jobless housewives creating an unnecessary ruckus for publicity sake.
  • Mizos working outside Mizoram – Traitors.
  • Mizo women outside Mizoram – All sleep with non-Mizos for money.
The list goes on and on… The only organization he never criticizes (or should I say dare not criticize) is the YMA. And all I do is just listen attentively with a nod now and then to keep him talking. Even though it is a torture, sometimes it is necessary to listen to other people’s opinion, however bizarre it may be, especially if they have an extremist view in their ideology or political orientation, because it makes oneself understand other people better without simply discarding them as narrow-minded/conservative/fundamentalist etc.

From the way “H” thinks and his cynical attitude about life, it is pretty obvious that he is completely delusional about everything around him. In his belief, the entire system is contaminated by immorality, and nobody can save Mizoram from the clutches of such evil other than the SRS.

There was one incident that made me really really really detest H. One day, during our usual SRS conversation over tea, my friend brought out the topic of human rights violation. Being a silent observer, I was expecting H to say something like, beating up drug peddlers and alcohol manufacturers with rods and canes is regrettable but sometimes necessary so as to prevent them from doing it again. Instead, H snorted and laughed out loud and then clenched his fist and proudly asked us who got the guts in the whole of Mizoram to ever file a case against the SRS!!! I felt vomit rise up to my throat right then. H went on to exclaim that no lawyer will ever come forward in support of the so called victims because lawyers (people) in Mizoram have two options: Avoid crossing paths with the SRS and remain in Mizoram, or side with the victims and be kicked out of Mizoram! That was the last time I ever sat down for tea with H again. Thinking about his ugly mouth uttering that last sentence still disgusts me even now.

I am sure not everybody in the SRS is like H. I pray to God they are not. H’s attitude is far more destructive than all the proxyvon tablets that has ever entered Mizoram. You can still reform a drug-addict, but to change a mentality such as H’s would be a Herculean task because the grassroots source has already been deeply infected with a perception about society that everything is corrupted and filthy. Power fills him with a feeling of omnipotence. And with limitless power in his hands and a strong inner urge (ethnocentric “Hnam” feeling) to cleanse the system, it is only natural for a person like him to have a “God complex”.

Even though I support the SRS vigilantism to a certain extent, I boldly state that people like H must leave the organization. They give SRS a bad name. Power has gone into their head because they know they are untouchable. Abusing such power becomes a regular habit and they get drunk from excessive power the moment they wake up every morning.

We need good psychiatrists in Mizoram. Seriously. We also need a more effective law & order system. With the implementation of these two proactive strategies, I see a future Mizoram where the SRS no longer exist, not because of public disapproval but rather because they no longer need to. God bless Mizoram.