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Thursday, August 25, 2005

Chp 44. Banyan County

Don’t you just love that feeling you get when you wake up way beyond your usual time on a late sunday afternoon, knowing you’ve just partied your brains out the previous nite? Ah! Your entire body aches and your eyes are burning from over-using that contact lens, yet thinking about the previous nite, you just can’t help but release a big smile as you stretch your body while still lying on your bed. And even better if there is some hot chick lying next to you sleeping peacefully… but alas…

Last Saturday nite I decided to party hard. The last few weeks, it has been only house parties. Advantages of a house party is, there is no time limit (party goes on until the neighbors threaten to call the police aka “Hoysala”), you know almost everybody at the party, there is always a spare room available for those who wanna make out, and basically, its cheap. But what a house party cannot offer is the ambience, and the P3 societal atmosphere all around.

And I was also really looking forward to partying with “S” n her frens for the first time. A really amazing bunch of girls; funny, quick-witted and hot. Left for “The Club” around 10pm as the dance floor over there usually opens by 11:30. Actually “The Club” is so close to my campus. As you go out of the Insti, take a left towards Jayanagar and keep on going straight for about 10km until you reach Mysore road dead-end T-junction. Take a left and a few more km and viola, you’re reached Ibitza.

But that night, as we drove inside the pearly gates of our party destination, stereo blasting the latest Hiphop chartbuster “Lose Control” by Missy Elliot, Ciara and Fat Man Scoop, adrenalin pumping and quite tipsy from the pre-party drinks, the security guards approached our car and said the Disco has been shifted to Banyan County (Aaaaargh, for the umpteenth time, I hate it when people say “Disco”. Either say “disc” or “discotheque” plz.) He gave us a small map.

So our long distance journey began. Around 10kms down Mysore road, terrible roads, pot holed and dusty, son of a bitches coming from the other side high-beaming me all the time (but then, it’s a national highway I think, so what else should I expect). Finally found the right-turn I had to take. The road is even worse, and smaller. No traffic to worry about, but that itself became a big worry as the entire stretch of road was completely deserted. I even slowed down, but not a single vehicle passed by. Slowly we rolled up our windows, locked the door and reduced the volume on the stereo

The map says “5km towards Banyan Tree”, but even after 6km, there was absolutely no sign of life. The very few houses here and there were completely dark. We were convinced we were lost, so we took a U-turn and disappointingly said we’ll go back and have our usual house party. And luckily, from the other direction we saw our first vehicle: a bike. On it were two dudes in complete hiphop attire! Either they were lost just like us or the party’s right ahead. I stopped them and they grinned wildly and said its just a couple of meters ahead! And there I was already taking a U-turn and about to head back!

Banyan County. Very secluded. Open air, typical farm house party. We could hear the music from the car parking area but the trees blocked our sight. Lots of bouncers everywhere. Entry was 300 bucks per couple, and even the girls had to pay 300 per each pair. And no freaking cover charge! The guy at the counter was like “Same rate as “The Club”.” My ass! “The Club” is like 200 per head with 100 bucks cover. Maybe he meant to say “Same coupon as “The Club”.” Bastard. Coz when one has come so far, it would be absolutely meaningless to go back without partying.

We shelled out 900 and romped inside. The place was really nice. No official Bar or dance floor. Everything was make-shift, including the DJ table. There is this amazing swimming pool with fountains and aqueduct like structures a lá Roman style, where water was pouring down continuously from above.

The drinks were quite expensive, 90 bucks per beer can which slowly metamorphosized into 100 bucks/can as the night progressed. All hard liquors were 100 bucks/60ml, and the pepsi/7up added to it is 30 bucks. Even a 500ml water bottle is 30 bucks.

The crowd was ok. Not that great. The music was only house. Bummer. We hardly danced and spent most of our time drinking by the pool. But slowly, as the morning got older, more and more party animals started arriving. Very soon the place was filled with an amazing cocktail of people: Around 30% Africans and Arabs, 30% North-easterns, 30% mainland Indians and remaining 10% firangis. DJ started playing Hiphop around 2am. It was amazing from then onwards. Had so much fun…

People danced everywhere, not just in the designated dance floor: Outside the floor, by the pool side, underneath the fountains, everywhere. And the best part is, everybody’s so friendly once high. No drunk rowdies looking for a fight. Everybody smiled at me and I did the same. We all felt this connection among each other even though we have never met and will probably never met again. Even gave a “Yo muh niggah” hug to many of the African dudes too, and the girls I was with knew quite a number of them.

Special mention must be made about the DJ’s girlfren (Both names withheld, to save myself from some embarrassment incase they ever come across my blog). She’s HOT! And probably one of the best dancers I’ve ever seen. Lucky him, me too definitely gonna become a DJ once I graduate from here And the girls I was with told me that they’ve been together for almost 3 years now.

Finally we left our beloved place around 5:30ish. People were still dancing when we left. The ride back was sheer torture for me. Sleepy and tired, I just wish I could doze off like the rest of the girls happily sleeping in the car. Damn.

Dropped them and came back to hostel around 6:30. Felt good to know I had such a great time. But well, I don’t think I’ll be going there again in a hurry coz, it’s too far, and kinda too expensive. It would be great if I can go there in a large group. Must talk to Monu, Amra, Amol, Tommy etc regarding this, and plan one day to go there in 3-4 cars. That would be amazing chapter 2.

Till then, it’s back to the grind here at IIMB. Sayonara…

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Chp 43. Relative Grading!

In the Beginning, God created land, water, the sun, the moon and animals n birds. And then he created man and woman. Just one man and one woman. That itself was Paradise for the man, for he had no competition to worry about. Hence he need not leave the toilet seat down, nor did he have to ask for directions in that little garden. Similarly, the woman was happy, for she need not shave her legs nor make chapattis for her man.

Everything was going great until one fine day, the woman gave into temptation (just wondering why all the “other” things they must have done is also not termed as temptations). Anyway, God banished them from the Garden of Eden, and made their life utterly miserable. He thought of the worst possible way to make them suffer: He thought of floods, he thought of fire rain. Until one brilliant idea hit him. He had just thought of something that will make Mankind suffer for the rest of his life: He created Relative Grading.

Within no time, Cain murdered Abel, hence making Abel the first victim of frustration due to relative grading in the history of Mankind. Fast forward thousands of years later and here I am sitting in my room and feeling like doing the same thing to some of my classmates

Being a below average student sux, but here in IIM, it doesn’t hit me that hard. I am more than happy to be a below average student in this prestigious institution. But what really sux is the fact that we guys never gain recognition. People treat the toppers like celebrity. They even award them medals and throw a party n get drunk, when in fact it is them who are screwing up everybody else when it comes to grading. Whereas it is us guys who actually push up everybody’s grades. For every small mark that we screw up, we know deep inside that somewhere out there, there is an individual being pushed above average (Yes, I am doing QM for the second time, so I know perfectly well how a normal distribution is calculated! )

Had I not been here, I assure you, there would have been quite a number a people on the other side of the mean, and the standard deviation would have significantly decrease.

Humility aside, I sincerely feel that, just like the top 10 students who are awarded the DML (Director’s Merit List) award, us bottom 10 should have been awarded some sort of medal, strictly from the Student’s Union side.

He he he… okie, was just kidding. Actually all u DMLs and toppers rock. Especially those of you who are always ready to help me out whenever I have a doubt. As much as it sux, Relative grading is something that we’ll always face in the real world. It brings about competition.

And this is not just regarding acads or business. Even when it comes to flirting, mankind always competes. Who has the bigger car or smaller cell phone. Looks take a back seat, and charm now sits in the driver’s seat. For most girls, it all depends on how much of a smooth talker the guy is, whereas for most guys, how hot the girl is. For girls, it’s easy to score as guys will fall for anything. But for guys to score, it takes a lot of meticulous planning, cajoling, serenading, impressing, and most important of all, making her laugh. Ofcourse when I say this I don’t speak on behalf of all the ladies who feel that guys shouldn’t be just smooth talkers but also non-alcoholic, career oriented, financially stable blah blah blah.

Anyway, to sum up everything, I guess Relative grading is something we can never run away from. It will always be there, waiting to pounce on us when we least expect it. Sometimes it’s a good thing, like when the paper is really difficult and nobody knows how to solve it. But when it’s a moderately easy paper, everybody leaves you far behind and you suddenly realize nobody’s around you to share your sorrow. You become, once again, an outlier. Gnite.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Chp 42. Here comes the weekend

Exams finally over!!!

Well, I slogged much harder than I did last year. Why, I even put two nite-outs during the exam! The only time I ever put nite-outs last year when it comes to acads, was that one time when I was writing my man-comm assignment about pitching for a condom company, and once more during my eco final exam. And here I am now, happily nite-outing just half way thru the 1 semester itself. It kinda looks like history is not going to repeat itself…

But Alas! The end result is the same: utter disaster. Royally screwed in Accounts, Eco and Statistics, and “peasantly” screwed in BGS and MO.

And then something strange hit me. I did not feel so bad screwing up. Funny. Coz last year, had I studied and done badly, I would be like, man why the fuck did I waste my time studying anyway. But now, I feel a wee bit sense of satisfaction. Another metamorphism of a human mind bcoz of IIM, I guess.

And I found out recently that if you type “IIMB sux” at and click on the “I’m feeling luck” button, it will take you directly to my blog! Even if you Google search, my blog is the first result it will show when u enter IIMB sux. LoLzzz.

Anyway, after two more days of classes, here we are, with a solid 3 day weekend! Something extremely rare in the IIMs. And before I can heave a sigh of relief and relax a bit, every time slot was filled up. Friday evening: dinner party at Lin’s place, Friday mid-nite: MST’s bday house party, Saturday aftie-evening: Bangalore Mizo fresher’s party, Saturday nite: Poison Ivy and her fren’s combined bday house party, Sunday morn: Catching up with “D” n gang, Sunday aftie: Church with “P”, Sunday evening: Freedom Jam rock concert @ Palace Grounds with huge gang, Sunday nite: The Club with “A” and her frens, Monday morning: uh… flag hoisting ceremony at IIM Monday aftie: Lets see…

It’s going to be tough to keep all the appointments. Even my poor sister who was planning to fly down from Mumbai to spend the weekend with me had to cancel her plans coz I’ll be busy. And I still haven’t changed the water in my fish tank… I must do it today, no more procrastination. Them poor fishes are having a tough time and the death-rate is now very close to one every 4 days!

Anyway, today I went to have a haircut again, Mohawk style. And then I thought what the heck, exams over and I do deserve to have a good time. So I indulged myself with a nice menthol oil massage, shehnaz facial, shampooing and grooming. And that’s not all. Decided to do something radical just like that, so I told their in-house beautician to color my hair! I made a lot of calls to all the girls I know here in Bangalore regarding what color would best fit my complexion. Finally decided on L’Oreal Copper blonde 8.3 (Don’t ask me how I remembered the name. I wanted something not very prominent as this is my first time n I don’t know how its gonna turn out. So I called up every girl I know again n asked them what they think of L’Oreal 8.3 )

I learnt a lot that day while waiting in the girl’s section of the beauty parlour. Like, I now know why girls never go to a parlour alone, coz the waiting is pure dullesville. I had to sit there with my hair mask or whatever u call that thing and wait for some whitish cream to set on my hair, for like 30 minutes. And then the beautician applied the main dye for which I have to wait another 45 minutes! Man all this waiting was just killing me softly, or atleast killing the man in me softly

One of my frens who’s a beautician at Shanaaz (hope I got the spelling rite) Beauty Parlour in Indiranagar told me to colour my hair in streaks n not completely. So I did just that. Man it kinda hurts! As the beautician pulled out strands of my hair from the holes in the hair-mask with a small stick (She said my hair is too short to use the tin foil or whateva), I feel pain electrifying thru my entire head. It was then that I realized how much pain girls go thru everytime they go for their threading n waxing n other girlie stuff. New found respect for my sisters yo.

What I hate the most at that place was, there was absolutely nothing to do. It’s extremely difficult for a guy to just sit there with beauty products all over the hair and do nothing. I tried passing my time reading the magazines. WTF, they are all girlie magazines. “50 ways to deal with PMS”! Why the fuck would I be reading that. I know just one way of dealing with PMS and that is: “Stay away from the girl and go out drinking with the guys.” What could be more effective than that? :D And then there was “How to tell if your boyfren really loves you”. Comon ladies, just give him a couple of tequila shots and trust me, he’ll love you like nobody every loved you before he he, ok no more potshots at the ladies. Love you all. Muuaaahh*

Have a terrific weekend everyone. And hoping to see all you Bangalorean bloggers at the “Freedom Jam” rock concert at Palace ground this Sunday. I’ll go cheer for one of my fren Fahad’s band “Catatonic Rage”. Plus I know a couple of guitarists from other bands too. Hoping to meet y’all rocking away to glory there. Just keep a look-out for a chinky with a Mohawk hairstyle and weird streaks of brown running thru it. Hard to miss me! Ciao everyone.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Chp 41. Bummer Party scene

I left a happening Bangalore 2 months ago for my summer internship. 2 months later, I came back to the Pub city and what do I find? A pre-historic Bangalore! Not a single disc is open beyond 12 anymore! Gone are the days of partying till 5am at Club-X. WTF, Club-X isn’t even there!!!! Freaking cops closed the place down.

Word on the street is that this is only just a temporary phase because there is a new Police chief or whateva in the city and the cops wanna lay things low for a week or two. Comon, it’s already been more than a month since I came back and the condition don’t seem to be improving at all.

Saturday night and no Club-X. I can’t believe this shit. Jeez, that’s my freaking Church, man. I went to other places, but none of them could substitute Club-X.

Pubbing on a Saturday nite sux. Went to Pubs I’ve never been to in years, like Peco’s, Mojo, Guzzler’s Inn, Bunkers, Cosmo Village, Jeffrey’s, Library Bar @ Leela etc… Well, once the alcohol hits you, its kinda fun, but nothing can beat a nice dance floor with psychedelic lights and DJ playing hiphop or house that u simple just have to shake ur ass to.

My frens from Bangalore told me the two new discs, Oblivion and Club Sin sux, and advised me never to go there, so I didn’t. Another fren of mine told me to check out “Fabulous”. Well, she is one heck of a party animal so I took her words for granted.

Went to “Fabulous” one fine Saturday nite. It’s on Intermediate ring road, just before reaching Airport road. Nice place. Valet parking, and the best part was, no entry or cover charge. Maybe because I was with a date. But soon, I found out this was a bummer. Because muh date “B”, well, she’s more of the hiphop kinda gurl. I mean, yeah, even I am so into hiphop, but I was brought up partying on songs like “Sweet dreams” by La Bouche and 2 Unlimited’s “No Limit”. I mean, comon those days, the only music closest to hiphop was MC Hammer’s “You cant touch this”! The ambience of “Fabulous” had a very late 80’s early 90’s setting. DJ played songs like “YMCA”, “Voulez Vous”, “Karma chameleon” etc. After two pints, I was already shaking my shoulder and clicking my fingers like the 80’s style, while my date just sat there cribbing about the music. That spoilt the whole vibe, man. Anyway, I managed to drag her to the floor around 10:30 and had a great time dancing. Then at 11pm they announced that the Bar is closed and at 11:30 they played their last song!!!! Sad! WTF do we do after that???? Anyway we went to a fren’s house party and I tried my best to have fun for the rest of the morning.

And then, I went to “The Club” the other nite. And it just occurred to me, the last time I went to “The Club” was the first time I ever went to a disc in my entire life. 10th standard summer break. 9 years ago! OMG, I feel so old. And I can’t believe “The Club” is still there. Another disc we used to go to those days, “J.J’s”, aint there anymore. But “The Club” is still there, bringing back such wonderful memories. And what’s even more surprising than that is, in 9 years, the place hasn’t changed at all! I can still remember the same swimming pool, dance floor and the balcony over-looking the dance floor. Anyway, I took out my four hot air-hostess frens “A”, “P”, “M” and “J”. George n “K” joined us. Everywhere I look, it was nostalgia all over again. Man, even the plastic beer mugs hasn’t changed in 9 years! I had an amazing time that nite. The placed opened till 2:30. Well, I guess its worth it, coz the place is so far away from the city. Had food at Com Street at 4 in the morning. “P” passed out n I was so freaking scared she’ll puke in the car, but thank God nothing happened.

Other than that, the only disc I’ve been to recenty is “Taika”. Even on a Sunday nite, there’s an entry with cover charge costing a cool 600 bucks. Girls free entry ofcourse. One cover charge gets you 4 pints of beer or 2 cocktails. Went there with my 4 air-hostess frens and then, I threw my party there when I found out I was allowed to continue in this Institution. It was just me and my close circle of frens. Amol, Tommy, Monu, Amra, Ankita, Shubha and Momo.

[Yours truly, Tommy, Amol and Momo]

[With Shubha, blog name Elysia :) ]

[Ankita, always smiling and cribbing :) ]

[Momo, Amra and Shubha. Sorry Monu, ur not there in any pic!]

Thus ended nights of partying. Every one of them great, but still not as great as Club-X. I’ve had a lot of debate with my frens regarding this. Some of them even claimed the crowd at Club-X is cheap. I don’t care. Coz I always manage to have the greatest time whenever I go there, so all I do right now is pray and hope Club-X open soon…