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Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Chp 48. X'mas in Aizawl

This year there will be no decorating the Christmas tree with friends in my room. There will be no singing of Christmas carols with people I treasure and getting drunk with them. There will be no treating of special Christmas dinner at some fancy richly decorated with mistletoes and Christmas stars restaurant in Bangalore, Hyderabad or Coimbatore. And there will be no singing of my favourite sad sad Christmas song by Mud “Lonely this Chistmas” anymore.

Try to imagine a house that’s not a home.
Try to imagine a Christmas all alone.
That’s where I’ll be, since you left me.
My tears could melt the snow.
What can I do without you
I’ve got no place, no place to go

It’ll be lonely this Christmas, without you to hold
It’ll be lonely this Christmas, lonely and cold.
It’ll be cold so cold without you to hold, this Christmas

Such a lovely song, nearly brings me to tears every Christmas. This Christmas is going to be different, for I am finally going home after 10 years for Christmas!!!! The last time I ever went home was after my 9th standard. After that I never saw Christmas in Mizoram again. Gawddd… I am so looking forward to spending Xmas with my family and dressing up in new suits and going to church and wishing everybody a merry merry Christmas. Also really looking forward to decorating the sitting room with Christmas papers and tying strings from one end of the room to the other so that we can display the Xmas cards we received. And me and my sisters always used to fight over the best places on the strings coz we each want our cards to be the most prominent on display. Sigh*

Unfortunately my sister from Mumbai wont be coming home, as she doesn’t have leave. But my sis from UK who I haven’t seen ever since she went there, will be flying home. I think its been more than 5 years since I last saw her! I might not even recognize her. He he he he. My eldest sis will also be there, the rebel. And then my nephew and nieces totting around in the house, and all my numerous cousins and uncles n aunts. And then there are my friends from my locality who I grew up with (not exactly grew up with, but still, they were the only mizo friends I had back then, whenever I go back home for the vacations). And most important of all, there’s my loving dad and mom. I still remember those days when I thought there really was a Santa Claus and dad used to put gifts on our traditional “thlangdar” and “em” (made of bamboo twines used for cleaning rice and carrying firewood) which me and my sisters used to line up in the kitchen next to the chimney. My “thlangdar” always used to be the closest to the chimney.

And I will be meeting Eve’s family. I’ve never ever talked about my girlfrens with my parents before and this is the first time. It feels so good to share it with my parents about my love interest. Am confident they will welcome her, but am kinda tensed her folks won’t like me. After all, a person with a past such as mine isn’t exactly the most eligible bachelor in Mizoram. But as Doug Robb from Hoobastank crooned in that song “The reason”, “I’m not a perfect person, there’s many things I wish I didn’t do… I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new, and the reason is you.” I have changed a lot ever since I got back from Delhi, changed not just because I wanted to be a better man for her, but also because I simply had no interest to revert back to my old life.

It is definitely going to be one exciting Christmas. This Christmas is not only going to be a celebration of the birth of our Lord n Saviour Jesus Christ, but also a celebration of the birth of a new Kima. Amen.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Chp 47. Enter Eve

“25 years and my life is still
trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination.”

Ah. It’s as if the 4 non blondes sang that song specially dedicated to me. I’m 25 now. With an unsure destination.

Why have I been so silent these past few months you might wonder. Well, the reason is, I fell in love! Fell in love with the perfect woman in whose eyes I see the future of my unborn children’s happiness. She’s nothing like I’ve ever come across. Everything about her is so perfect.

We met at during my summer internship. It started off first as casual mails. We discussed about the mizo way of life and Christianity. She understood the reason why I hardly mix with other mizos. We were still anonymous then. I was “Sandman” and she was “butterfly5”. I would ask her doubts and reasons on God and Christianity and she would give me answers that completely satisfy my queries. Finally around May, she gave me her phone number. And believe me, I’ve never enjoyed talking to anybody as much as I do with her. No flirting, no casual sex talks, just plain conversation. Topic ranging from anything to anything. Gawd how I love listening to her voice, her cute English accent (She was in UK working as a volunteer dealing with de-addiction and other missionary work).

Even after I got back here, we talk almost every nite. My phone bills would sky rocket high, yet here I am, truly happy to find someone I really enjoy talking with. Told my closest frens Amol, Amra, Monu, Tommy and Ankita about her. I was basically on the phone with her nearly everyday. And I’ve never seen how she looks like. Finally on 19th July 2005 she mailed me her snaps. Oh she was so so pretty! I just couldn’t believe this was the girl I’ve been talking to for the past four months.

Told my sis in UK about her coz they met each other when she was in UK a couple of years ago. My sis is a PhD in psychology (University of Lancashire) and she advised me that even though I really enjoy talking to her, I must not rush it coz things are different when one speaks face to face. And she was a bit surprised too coz we were poles apart in our interest. I party a lot, she doesn’t. She’s deeply religious, I am just a Christian for namesake. But it’s only after talking to her that I realized I am meant to take the same path that she did but somewhere along the line I got diverted.

Many a times, my best fren Amol would tell me to fly to Delhi and meet her. Yet, deep inside I was scared. Not just scared but was also confused. I was pretty much enjoying the life that I was leading… was I willing to throw all that away? But it’s only when I went to Delhi that I realized what lied in store for me. Suddenly, all these partying n binge drinking made no sense. Everything became so empty. She was like that missing piece of puzzle in a jigsaw game of my life. Without that piece, you can still make out what the picture in the puzzle is all about and enjoy admiring the picture, but still, something is not just complete and that nags you at the back of your head day in and day out, until that missing piece of puzzle is found.

With love, one suddenly becomes scared of dying. Never in my life had I been so scared to fly (Delhi-Bangalore). And you have no idea how scared I was when I heard she went to Kashmir for two weeks!!! She had to go to Kashmir coz she’s working at EFICOR, a Christian NGO, which was dealing with the relief work at the earthquake affected areas in Kashmir. Everyday we spoke on the phone for hours, and there were three cases of terrorist bombings and shoot-outs during her stay there. I prayed to Almighty Lord to keep her safe, and He answered my prayers. Now she is safely back in Delhi.

Adam found his first true love in Eve. So did I. But then, I still have both my kidneys intact.