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Saturday, August 30, 2008

Chp 194. Interracial relationship: A 2-way street

[ Are Mizo women more anti-miscegenist than the men? Click here to skip this post and go directly to the bottom of the page to voice your opinion. Otherwise do spend a few minutes on this post and then participate. Thanx. ]

To all my Zo sisters. A serious Mizo-centric Post.

[Apology to my non-Mizo readers once again]

Before crossing a two-way street, we always look to the left and the right. But sometimes when vehicles travel in only one direction on that two-way street, we eventually end up looking only at that one direction whenever we cross that particular street.

And that’s exactly what interracial relationships are today. We have forgotten about the fact that cars can run from the other side too.

Mention “Interracial relationships” to any Mizo or at any Mizo community discussion forum, and the only thing most people will think of is a “Mizo girl + non-Mizo guy” relationship. After that, everybody jumps into a long never-ending discussion about hnam feeling, hnam pride, culture clash etc. Take a quick glance at some of those opinionated discussions, and all you’ll read is the same ’ol thing since the dawn of internet.

What most people never think or talk about though, is a “Mizo guy + non-Mizo girl” interracial relationship, because everybody, including women, are hung up on that “Mizo girl + non-Mizo guy” syndrome.

People don’t realize how much more difficult it is for a Mizo guy to get into an interracial relationship. Yet, many women just assume it is easier for us and continue to talk about their own difficulties and the problems they face from their community, and some even compare Mizo men to non-Mizos, and exclaim how non-Mizos are so much more mature and liberal in accepting such kinds of interracial relationships.


Ok, we shall discuss about the evils of comparing men based on our race or ethnicity at other posts, because some women treat us as if we are nothing but a piece of meat hanging in the dingy discount section of an underperforming supermarket surrounded by flies and germs, whose selection criteria by the consumer (women) is based solely on the meat’s age, breed, and the amount of fat present.

For now, let us leave this unhealthy practice of comparing men aside and take a look at the two-way street of interracial relationships.

I’ve gone out with quite a number of non-Mizo girls in the past. And most of my interracial relationships didn’t work out for more than a year because there was always a problem later in the end, either from the girl’s family or her community.

If you have a non-Mizo boyfriend or husband, sometimes people from our community may not treat you kindly because we are a highly insecure lot not even constituting 0.01 percent of the Indian population. I am not justifying such unfortunate activities with those sociological issues, but at least they don’t come to your house in the middle of the night armed with hockey sticks and chains just because you’re in an interracial relationship. That’s the kind of BS I had to put up with back in college in Tamilnadu, because the few North Indians studying in our college vehemently objected to the fact that my girlfriend was "one of theirs", a Marwari from Rajasthan.

On many occasions, they threatened to break my limbs if we didn’t end our relationship, straight out of a soapy B-Grade Hindi movie. Crazy? Nah, I had similar problems in Hyderabad with the local guys too over a local girl, and again in Bangalore. Same story everywhere.

Honestly, can you ever picture a group of Mizo guys thrashing a non-Mizo just because he married a Mizo girl? Sure some of them may bitch, but beating up the person just because of that is out of the question.

On the other hand, have you heard of honor-killings? Does the name Rizwanur Rahman ring any bell? Or other victims (men and women) like Du’a Khalil Aswad, Anooshe Sediq Ghulam, Tina Isa, Ghazala Khan, Samaira Nazir, Aqsa Parvez, Fadime Sahindal, Jaswinder Kaur Sidhu, Hatun Sürücü, Arash Ghorbani-Zarin [source: Honor Killings ] or if you want you can visit this website for more details: ICAHK [International Campaign Against Honor Killings].

You speak of mere alienation from some of the Mizos just because you are in an interracial relationship. Well, I can show you real scars all over my body as a result of the fights I had because of interracial relationships.

You end up hating the Mizo community just because of some of the treatment you get from some section of our society? Look at me: In spite of all the terrible experiences I went through, I have no grudge against the non-Mizo or Mizo community. Don’t let a few sore apples spoil your entire perception.

You speak of racism? I abhor racism of any kind, be it towards Mizos or non-Mizos, and I agree some guys talk rubbish about Mizo girls going around with non-Mizos. I don’t encourage that kind of talk. But again we are talking about the two way street here. Trust me, the amount of crap I used to get from Mizo girls just because I was going around with a non-Mizo was far far far worse than all the stuff Mizo guys talked about. The less said, the better.

And this is exactly the crux of the whole matter. Some people are so busy playing the role of the victim that they’ve unknowingly become the perpetrator. Instead of complaining about the resentment you face from Mizo men, take a moment off and imagine your brother marrying a non-Mizo, say a Tamilian. Does the picture that comes to your mind appeals to you? If not, then my dear, I believe you have absolutely no rights to complain about your issues. Remember, it is a two-way street.

A Mizo guy going around with a non-Mizo is definitely not smooth.

Do you think Pu Manzuala, the former Chief Secretary of Mizoram, had it easy? Believe me you do not want to hear all those horrible stuff the women of our locality used to say about him because he married a non-Mizo. None of the men ever used to say anything like that. I cried my heart out when Aunty Renu passed away, and till now I still remember all those wonderful picnics our two families used to go to, and those boiled-egg sandwiches she used to make especially for me. She even taught me how to swim on one of those picnics. She treated me like the son she never had, and I treated her daughters u-Joanna, u-Margu, Pari and Olivia as my own sisters. But after her sudden sad demise, we all simply drifted apart.

Damn, just writing about this particular part of the article brings back a lot of painful memories... I can give you so many other examples like that. Unpleasant ones. Stuff that will make you sick…

I’m sorry if you find this post a bit pugnacious, but I just can’t take it anymore when I see some of our women repeatedly complain about how unfair it is because "Mizo guys are xenophobic… Mizo guys are not open to interracial relationships… Mizo guys are this… Mizo guys are that… blah blah blah” as if the women are completely free of any blame!

I’ve heard many women speak out about how we guys can marry anyone we like whereas they face a lot of roadblocks and speed-breakers. That’s truly a gross misconception. Trust me, we guys have it much harder and worse; we just don’t kvetch about it.

A man is “supposed” to be the head of the family. And you know how most Indians regard us "chinkies" in the social strata – as untouchables or even lower. Imagine in a typical Indian household when such a person is the head of the family. Imagine how her parents, relatives, colleagues and friends would feel about that person. Believe me, you are most fortunate to be a woman. Especially a Mizo woman. No dowry issues, no caste issues, no gotra issues, and best of all, no need to run for your life if you marry somebody your parents objected to.

Hey. Interracial relationships are never easy in any close-knitted small society. That’s a world-wide sociological phenomenon. The smaller and fewer the members of that society are, the more they will resist to outsiders “diluting” their dwindling bloodlines. I am not saying it is good or bad. All I am humbly asking for, is to please stop mentioning that our Mizo society is unfair because of the partiality shown to guys when it comes to interracial relationships. Partiality, my ass. We guys are handed the worst crap.

Always remember that it is a two-way street.


Author’s addendum:

Are Mizo women actually more anti-miscegenist than the men?

Please feel free to point out your answer on this. Any opinion is welcome. Comment is completely unmoderated and anonymous comment is activated.

My answer is yes. And my theory on the reason why Mizo women are like this is simply due to the “hunted becomes the hunter” psychological phenomenon.

In College, the guy who gets ragged the most in 1st year usually becomes the most vicious ragger in 2nd year. Likewise, a victim of racism usually becomes a racist eventually.

I have noticed many Mizo women at “phai” speak viciously against “vais”. They look upon other Mizos with “vai” partners in disgust. And ironically, such women have gone around with “vais” in the past! I believe that is where their anger is stemming from. They faced so many criticisms during their romantic years that they have now become worse than those who criticized them.

Seriously, it’s true. Take a look at the woman who speaks out the most about relationships with “vais, midums and saps”. The bitterness and anger in her tone is much more disgusting and harsh than any Mizo guy I’ve heard speaking about “hnam feeling”. And such women always had such a relationship in the past with the very people she speaks out against now.

Could this be the reason?

I’m not a psychologist nor have I done any research on this topic. These are just excerpts from my observations. Please feel free to disagree.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Chp 193. Flashback

11:30 PM

Abhishek Chopra fell on the blood stained floor.

"What have I done!!!???" He asked himself.

Lying on a pool of blood next to him were the lifeless bodies of his wife Sheranya and his good friend Jimmy Zothanpuia.

He was still clutching the large kitchen knife he had just used to stab his wife and Jimmy over and over again. The past five minutes felt like a bad dream to him. It was so surreal, but there he was, getting a taste of how real it was.

In a fit of rage he had taken the life of his wife and his friend Jimmy. He had just found out they were having an affair. Now as he sat on the floor dazed, he wondered whether it was really worth taking their lives for that.

He looked at the blood stained knife again. He contemplated for a few minutes and then finally took a deep breath and with full force plunged the knife deep into his stomach.

11:16 PM


It was Jimmy exclaiming in surprise.

He had just spent the past 45 minutes drinking with the Chopras. He had known Abhishek Chopra for more than a year now ever since his colleague and good friend Sheranya got married to him. He was there on their grand wedding day and he even teased Sheranya about why she was not dancing in a Bollywood movie style on her wedding.

The moment Sheranya introduced him to Abhishek, they became close friends. Since then, he would swap stories about his home town Aizawl - Mizoram, with Abhishek and Sheranya.

But that night, there was something strange about Abhishek. He did not seem to be in his usual cool self. He did not laugh to Jimmy’s jokes, and even if he did, the artificiality was obvious.

Jimmy looked at Sheranya…

Suddenly Abhishek stood up and shouted, "Bastard, I know what you and my wife are doing behind my back!" He pulled out a large knife from under the cushion.

10:05 PM

ding dong…

The bell to the Chopra apartment rang melodiously.

Sheranya ran to the door. It was Jimmy, who greeted her with a smile.

"Sher," Jimmy said and hugged her as she opened the door.

"Jim, thanks for coming," Sheranya hugged him back comfortably.

"He’s been drinking the whole evening. I guess he had a rough day in office today. But he was quiet normal when he reached home this evening…"

"I’ll handle him, don’t worry…" Jimmy said, and then quickly added, "Hey regarding those smses…"

"We’ll discuss about that later. Right now go to my hubby and do whatever you guys do."

8:21 PM

ring ring…

"Hey Sher. Whassup?"

"Jim. Hi. You’re at home?"

"Yeah, I’ve just reached."

"Abhishek has been drinking for quite a while now. He’s even bought a new bottle of rum and he insists that you come over and drink with him!"

"Hahaha! Well as a matter of fact, I was planning to drink tonight anyway. Might as well do with him."

"Really? You don’t mind? Thanx! Can you reach here by 10’ish?"

"Sure thing. Anyway I have a good reason to see you, if you know what I mean…"

Sheranya giggled and then disconnected the call.

6:17 PM

As Abhishek read the messages in Sheranya’s phone while she was in the shower, his whole world turned upside down. His fingers trembled and everything around him became hazy. His heart beat accelerated and darkness seemed to swallow him up.

He read the smses once again, for the hundredth time.

"Darling, are you sure it’s safe for me to come over tonight? I think he’s starting to suspect something is up. What we do is amazing but I’m afraid he’ll hear the moans and screams eventually! Lolz."

"My love, I don’t know how long we can carry on like this behind his back. I know we can never tell him about our relationship, but I miss you so much… your gentle touch… your kiss… and the way we hold each other and fall off to sleep, even if it is only for a short while because I have to leave your apartment before he wakes up…"

"I know you told me not to sms you today, but I just can’t help it. I love you so much, and knowing you can read my messages in any other way delivers a brief warmth to my heart. I think I’ll slip in at your place tonight after he sleeps… Muaah."

He couldn’t breath.

He looked at the sender’s name once again, and still couldn’t believe it. The messages were from Jimmy.

5:02 PM

Abhishek reached home and took a shower immediately. The evening Mumbai rush hour was tiring and frustrating as usual.

After a good 20 minutes long shower, he could feel the energy slowly flowing back to his body again. He moved to the living room and switched on the TV. Seinfeld. "Ahhh", Abhishek sighed in delight.

Just when Jerry Seinfeld was about to crack one of his golden witty remarks, Sharenya entered the house.

"Hi honey!"

"Hi sweetheart. How was your day?"

"Argh. Usual stuff. Had a fight with the auto driver again because of a faulty meter. I wish I have a car too! I’m going to take a quick shower and then I’ll join you for dinner."


Sharenya threw her hand bag next to Abhishek and ran into the bathroom immediately. Her mobile phone rolled out and it caught Abhishek’s eyes. With no particular reason, Abhishek mindlessly took the phone and began browsing through it. Games… his "snake" record was still there. Music… she was still listening to "Rise up" by Yves LaRock.

And then he went to her sms inbox and he froze.

3:32 PM

beep beep…

Sheranya looked at her phone. It was an sms from Jimmy.

"Darling, I’m so sorry about last night. I couldn’t come over to your place because of the obvious reasons. Tonight I promise I will be there once he falls off to sleep. I long to slip in underneath the blanket besides you again and celebrate the love we have all night long. Love you. Muaaaah."

She blushed a bit. She got up from her office cubicle and looked at where Jimmy was sitting. She made eye contact with him and smiled. She pointed at her mobile and Jimmy smiled back.

8:00 AM

The day didn’t start off well for Jimmy at all. First of all, the water supply to his apartment got over just when he was in the middle of a shower. And then his maid demanded an increment on her salary for cleaning the dishes everyday.

"Bloody hell, you came to work only four times the whole of last month!" Jimmy thought. But then, like any bachelor living in a bachelor pad in busy Mumbai, he shrugged it off and agreed to her demands.

He screamed at his kid brother, "Mapui, wake the hell up! You’re getting late for school! I’ve left 50 bucks for you on top of the fridge. Try not to spend it all." Then he hurriedly dressed up so that he could beat the early morning Mumbai rush hour.

On his way to work, he dropped his phone. "Fuck," he muttered.

When he finally reached office, he went directly to Sheranya Chopra.

"Morning Jim."

"Morning Sher. Uh…. Sweetie, can you do me a favor?"


"Well, my little bro has been staying with me for the past two weeks or so, and I don’t want him to know that my girlfriend stays over for the night… kinda like the whole big brother setting a good example thingie… And then this morning, I dropped my freaking phone on the way to office. The display is completely screwed. I can see the sender’s name but the rest of the messages are completely distorted. Can I forward the smses I receive from my girlfriend to your phone so that I can read them there?"

"Of course!" Sher replied.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Chp 192. Pictures, laughter and others…

So it’s that time of the year again when one has to clear out all the photographs stored in one’s digicam because of the dreaded memory full.

Published here, are some of the funny ones for your “reading” pleasure.

I was stuck in a traffic jam on my way to work right behind this mini-bus. And I just couldn’t help smiling at the name of the vehicle.

Buthello? The name has a very funny ring to it. Maybe the owner is a big fan of Shakespeare, but the name Othello was already taken…

Or maybe the driver wanted to say “Bus Hello”, but between him and the painter some words got lost in translation…

It could also have a very kinky connotation…

This chat log will definitely make you smile too. How to piss off a fellow Arsenal supporter?

I love Pizzas. Smokin’ Joe’s one of my favorite joints, but then again, we don’t get that many choice so it’s not a big deal. The other night I decided to try out their new Chinese menu – Smokin’ Lee’s!

My opinion? Good food, but extremely small quantity and expensive. Definitely not a good value for money.

So, Smokin’s Joes is diversifying into Chinese menu. If they start coming up with South Indian food, what will it be called?

And if they open up a franchise in Mizoram?

Here is my good friend and ex-Delhi neighbour, Reuben (Ben) drummer of IIIrd Sovereign. RSJ [Rock Street Journal] even proclaimed him to be one of India’s finest drummers. He came to Mumbai the other day with the band Undying to perform at a gig.

He was head-banging throughout the concert.

And here is Ben that same night, NOT head-banging or drumming to hard core Death Metal…

Ah… sweet Ben

The other day, this canister of shaving foam suddenly exploded due to the rust caused by the rain seeping in through our bathroom window. Very strange sight indeed.

My sis and I made the best use of it of course.

And here is me with a corny Ad that will never make it to any print.


Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Chp 191. Girl, why have you forsaken me?

Have you ever had that feeling… when you suddenly realized there is a deep connection and understanding between you and somebody you’ve known for a long time?

Funny feeling, right?

I mean, for a long time she is just a friend, somebody you regularly correspond with over the Net… somebody you could always count on as a friend who’s always there when you need her the most. Sometimes you even end up taking her for granted because you are so used to her benevolence…

And then suddenly… WHAM! It hits you right in the face!

How could I have been so blind all these time? She was there for me when I dropped out of college… when I broke up with my ex… I found comfort and solace within her… She was there through all the difficult times I went through, and she never failed me.

She mails me regularly… just as she promised to do many years ago. She’s the reason why I am what I am today. She updates me with everything I need to know, right from news back in Mizoram, to the latest gossip in the celebrity circle.

She said she didn’t want me to be out of touch with important news just because I went through a rough patch, or because I was disconnected from my friends and family back home.

Finally I mustered enough courage to take our relationship to the next level. I didn’t want to be miserable for the rest of my life… I knew I ran the risk of spoiling everything we had, but as the saying goes, it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

I use gmail.

So one fine day, I took a deep breath and replied to one of her emails. I expressed my complete raw uninhibited honest feelings for her, all in one go, and waited fervently for her reply…

She never did.

Maybe I crossed the line, I don’t know. Maybe she got psyched out. A part of me was cursing the same me for screwing up a very wonderful relationship.

I stopped receiving her emails for sometime.

That was my darkest 48 hours. It was then that I realized how lonely I was without her. Like that old 90s soft-rock Cinderella song, “you don’t know what you got, till it’s gone”, I came to see how pathetic my life was without her.

I missed her so much. I looked at all her old emails in my inbox, re-read them, and enjoyed each and every mail with extreme gratification.

And then suddenly, she started mailing me again. She never mentioned about my mail, but we both understood some things were best left unsaid.

After a few days, our relationship was (almost) back to normal.

In gmail, there is an option of inviting somebody for a chat if he or she is using a Google affiliated email account. Being the stubborn guy that I am, I could not go on without explaining to her about why I sent her that first email…

I invited her for a chat at gtalk and even added her on my chat list…

It’s been more than a month now and she still hasn’t accepted my invitation. I know, this sucks, but I would be so extremely grateful if she gives me the chance to explain…

That is why I have no other option but to publish about this incident on my blog with screenshots of my action as proof, in the hope that my plight might soften her heart a bit and that she would accept me as a chat friend at gtalk.

I keep my hope alive…

[Picture Gallery]

Here is me inviting her for a chat…

And here is me adding her on my “friends list” at gmail.

Finally, here is the woman of my dreams, still not accepting my invitation.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Chp 190. Limericks Part Two

I dug out this old draft of mine, which was supposed to be a sequel to the Mizo Onliners Limericks. I wrote it a long time ago before BW got married, and here I am publishing it now for your reading pleasure.

This time I have roasted only 4 people, four very dear friends of mine:

Jerusha [ Maimawm / Sundancer ]
Jimmy [ BlackWhite ]
Biteii [ Superstarr / Almost Unreal ]
Amos [ Goldmember / Fade_no_more ]

There once was a guy called Goldmember,
All the names of the BMA girls he remember.
Oh he was a real flirt,
until that fateful night,
his frustrated girlfriend snipped off his member.

There once was a guy called Fade_no_more,
To all the ladies he was such a bore.
You should see his tummy,
kinda like a pregnant mummy.
That’s why he has no other option but to whore.

There once was a girl called Maimawm,
during the weekends, she stays at home.
She keeps to herself.
A few porn on her shelf.
What's that on her blanket? Eww, looks like foam!

Let's get back to our friend Fade_no_more,
still alone, still single, living in Bangalore.
A hundred girlfriends he once had,
but wanna know what is really sad?
How many times had he kiss - the answer is four.

There once was a girl called Sundancer,
who does not believe in monogamy, no Sir!
Her roomies fixed her up,
with Ravi, Puia and Aftab.
She said, "No prob, as long as they drive a Lancer."

There once was a girl called superstar,
her boyfriend likes to call her a Pitar.
I think that is extremely bold,
to tell your girlfriend she is old.
Maybe that's why she stores her eggs in a jar.

Hmmm, one last time let's call upon Amos.
On Viagra he once tried to overdose.
He said there's no hope,
so he decided to dope.
The drugs kicked in, and he molested a garden hose.

Now it's the turn of Jerusha once again,
to all her friends she is such a pain.
She takes out her digi-cam,
and aims at our sausage & ham.
That's why her search for a boyfriend is still in vain.

Heehee, again there was a guy called Jimmy,
who tried to score with a girl called Mimi.
They started to caress,
but once they undress,
it turns out, he was wearing the same shimmy.

Our friend Jimmy is also known as BlackWhite,
and boy, he likes to wear his pants real tight.
He said it kinda gives him a high,
to show-off to the girls his thigh.
And believe me, his thighs aren't the only thing in sight.

Jimmy's finally getting married next month,
and with that, no more he's going to hunt.
Oh I really pity his wife,
leading a miserable life.
Whole night she’ll have to bear with his grunt.