Photobucket had recently changed their policy and now all the images from my 650+ blog posts are disabled. I am slowly editing them by moving my images to my own server at AWS, but it will take time. In case there is a particular old post you want to see the images of, kindly drop me a mail at mizohican@gmail.com and I'll keep that at a high priority. Thank you.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Chp 54. Inter-racial relationship





Given below is an article I've just submitted for our BMA (Bangalore Mizo Association) Annual Magazine. I'm sure most of you must be surprised at my standings, but really hope we can look at this maturely and have a good discussion regarding this. Thanx.


****************************

Isn’t it strange how things that happen around you or around people close to you make you ponder on it deeply, and in my case, write an article about it?

This particular article is probably one of the most controversial topics in our Mizo culture. It’s something that every Mizo knows about, but prefers not to talk about in public, especially when they're in the midst of their non-Mizo friends. Before reading any further, I would like to warn you that this is just my personal opinion with no intention of maligning anybody, and would also like to apologize in advance if I have hurt anybody’s sentiments during the course of this article.

Inter-racial relationships.

Aghast! I have just uttered the forbidden word! Such audacity. Surely I must be an exile, banished from the homeland thousands of miles away. Haha fat chance. I believe the right word would be “candour”. I’m just an average Mizo living in Bangalore with lots of Mizo friends, who regularly go to the Mizo Church on Sundays and actively participate in various Mizo activities in Bangalore.

Since time immemorial, we Mizos have always been protective of our women. We are a tribe. No matter how deep Nike, Reebok, Pepsi, cable TV, cellular phones and western music have penetrated our cities, culture and the minds of our youth, deep down inside, we will always be a tribe.

A tribe always looks out for each other. If your brother’s blood is spilled, it is your honour to avenge it. If a woman of your tribe is humiliated, it is your duty to protect her honour and retaliate. Anybody resembling the faintest threat to the existence of one’s tribe is either annihilated or viewed with much skepticism. It’s an immediate call to arms.

And most Mizos still look at Mainland Indians as the aggressor, the evil perpetrator. After all, most of us have been through years of abuses under the Indian Army, journals after journals of absurdly falsified information over-sensationalized by wanna-be journalists who have never even set a foot inside the North-east, days and days of discrimination from the public majority just because of our different looks or customs.

Anyone victimized by such ordeal will definitely look at the World from a completely different perspective. Every little thing that befalls him, he blames it on racism. A bunch of drunken idiots out looking for trouble sees him and roughens him up. Racism. It’s been ages since he asked the waiter for the bill and it hasn't come yet. Racism. A really mean son-of-a-bitch suddenly cuts the queue and stands in front of him. Racism.

From my own experience, I must admit that things are actually never THAT bad. Of course yes there have been many incidents where the balance is skewed purely due to one’s identity, but this is a part of life, and this definitely does not mean that every other little thing that does not work out in my favour is because of racial discrimination. Not every apple in the basket is sour.

Similarly, when a Mainland Indian goes around with a woman of our tribe, our blood pressure rises. How can one sleep with the “enemy”? Treason! Treason! Burn her to the stake!

I've always been struck by why so many of us do not appreciate the fact that a Mizo girl is going around with a non-Mizo. One of the first impressions most people get is that, she’s a slut (Excuse my French). This is due to the fact that there are some girls from the North-east including Mizoram who go to various late night discotheques and pubs and flirt openly with even strangers. If you have a car and money, chances are, you can do almost anything you want with these girls. And this makes the common people stereotype other north-eastern girls into thinking they are there to be picked-up when in fact all they wanted to do is just have nice clean fun at such places.

And there are also many girls, really nice girls, who have genuinely fallen in love with a non-Mizo, not because of the size of his bank account or the number of BMW’s lined up in his garage. We’re talking about true love here. Love is blind and cupid is drunk. His arrows know no such distinction. Where they fall is where love sow.

My dear brothers, do you really think that sitting around that table with your homies and bitching about Mizo girls who have a non-Mizo boyfriend is really going to change anything? Wake up and smell the coffee! I know more Mizo girls with non-Mizo boyfriends than those in a relationship with Mizo guys here in Bangalore. They keep it a secret from people mainly because of the way you tend to judge them and look down upon them as if they are an outcast.

These girls face an enormous amount of pressure from the community. I have met a couple of guys who have met their cousin/friend’s non-Mizo boyfriend/husband and believe me, they are impressed. Instead of talking trash about these people, why don’t we just look at this whole scenario and try to analyze why this is happening.

One of the first reasons is because of our tribe. We Mizos are in a Patriarchal society. Father is the head of the family. The man works and makes a living while the woman does not have any recognition in the society even if she has a more prestigious occupation. Laws are made by men. Executed by the same men. Judge, Jury and Executioner. If the father is not a Mizo, the progeny aren't, legally speaking.

Another reason is, I have noticed the way some of us treat women. Respect would be a word nearly void in our dictionary. We take pride in boasting about how many virgins we've slept with, and yet if a girl is in a lot of relationships, we brand her as a whore from Gomorrah. Most guys just assume that Mizo girls are theirs for keeps. Maybe during the days of Kroll the Cave man. Duh! Today’s Mizo woman is groomed with Cosmo and exposed to a world of glitterati. They are educated, strong and independent. They would occasionally like to be treated to a romantic candle-lit dinner or a walk together in the beach with the waves slowly hitting their feet under the bright moonlight. Times are a changing; either keep up with it or be left behind.

Most urbanized Mainland Indians residing in the Metros (and by this I mean “Vai changkang chin tawh” from an open and liberal family, and not your average roadside romeo or somebody from a conservative background) have been brought up with a sense of respect for women. Be it their mother or sister, they respect them like how the baker Enzo Robutti respects Don Vito Corleone. Whereas in our society, we sometimes make the mistake of taking girls for granted. Sure, it may work out for some women, but the vast majority wants something more than just a boyfriend who will bash up anybody they’re jealous of. They want someone who will genuinely listen to them when they want to talk or just hold them without crossing any boundaries. Someone who will be there for them when they need them the most, and not out drinking with his buddies. Of course I too used to be in the “Bros before Hos” bandwagon, where my loyalty was always with my group of guy friends rather than some girl I've just met at a party. But once you’re in a committed relationship, the better half deserves to get all the attention she can get. Your priorities must be reshuffled.

Yes after reading this far, some of you may rub me off as somebody completely frustrated with our Mizo culture, somebody who encourages inter-racial relationships. This is where you’re wrong. I love my culture and tribe, and I still advice all my friends to get into a relationship with a Mizo. Here is where racism takes a backseat. My advice has nothing to do with one’s race or colour or creed. We, as Indians, live in a society where everything is based on one’s background and caste. India is not the US of A, where multi-racial relationships co-exist harmoniously. No Sir. We still live in the Dark Ages. Wherever one goes, be it North India, South India or NE India, that person always carries his identity tag along with him. That is how things have always been for the past thousand years. No amount of social revolution will uproot the practice of identification and segregation from our system (maybe in the future, but not soon). Mind you, this has nothing to do with discrimination.

Hence when you are not married to your kind, you are cutting off a part of your culture and history. To some, it feels like your entire bloodline ends there abruptly, giving birth to a new line of genes. Maybe that new offspring is much better than the old one, as had been proven medically. Any matured Mizo girl/guy deeply in love with a non-Mizo is definitely well aware of these facts too. But woe is them, for what can they do? Are they willing to sacrifice their happiness just to continue their bloodline with somebody, a Mizo, whom they may not even love as much as their current girlfriend/boyfriend? Well, I've done it once, and believe me, it was not easy at all. I broke up with my Marwari girlfriend mainly because my family was not going to accept her and her family was not going to accept me either. But now, I've found somebody else again, and I've never been this happy in my entire life. Sometimes we think a torn heart will never heal. Believe me, it WILL heal.

And then of course there are the children. Most of these children are brought up in a confused atmosphere, not sure of what their exact identity is. Had it been in the US or Europe, they would easily fit in. But as I've said before, in India, we must all carry our own identity with us, and also whole-heartedly cherish family values. Family background plays a very important role in one’s status and welfare. One area where Mizos and mainland Indians have a lot in common is when it comes to joint families. Even though we as an entire family don’t usually live together like most Mainland Indians, we are extremely close to our relatives. People in the west are more independent, and there are also more cases of family feuds. With such close proximity among family members, children of mixed parents usually feel left out. They frequently become the butt of racial abuses, and what makes things worse is, they get abused from both sides! And all for no fault of theirs. They're usually either unpopular in school or popular for the wrong reasons. A fortune's fool.

And then there is the reservation factor. If one is a pure Mizo by birth-right, that person immediately gets various benefits like State quota where they can get an admission into the best Engineering and Medical colleges in India while a person of mixed birth (read, a half Mizo) will have a lower rank even if he/she scored much higher in the entrance examination. But then I don’t wanna dwell much into this topic as I've never been a strong proponent of reservation. Reservation only makes us weaker as we tend to take things for granted. But then, this is a completely different topic which I will not discuss here.

My last two cents on this whole issue is that, a majority of Mizos who have tied the knot with a non-Mizo reside outside Mizoram for various reasons. And most expatriates usually feel homesick later on in life. A deep inner longing to be back among one’s own people, one’s own brothers and sisters. Sure they are content and satisfied with their current life, but sometimes there is something deep within them that feels so hollow, something that they really miss. Maybe it’s the “bekang or the “vawk lu bawl”, or the Christmas and New Year feasts, or the “tlawmngaihna”, or the way life seems so normal and simple, or the idyllic sunrise view, or the Church bells chiming across the silent valley on Sundays, or the hilarious Mizo jokes that are not funny when translated in English… There is usually a small speck of unhappiness in their life, though there are those who are content too.

The bottom line is, everybody’s free to do what they want and marry who they love. Love is blind, but unfortunately reality is not. It all depends on how the person decides to weigh the scale. How involved are you going to be with society, with your family, with your community. Yes there are times when such people spend restless nights thinking about the situation, debating about whether to commit further or not, maybe even thinking of an alternative. I for one am speaking from such an experience too. Trust me, it's not easy at all. Unless you have been in a relationship with a non-Mizo before, you won't understand.

And similarly, if somebody, a non Mizo, “stole” the princess of your dreams, don’t bitch about that person. Be fair. If you really want to win her back, go after her with all guns blazing. Don't whine about how she fell for him instead ONLY because he's not a Mizo. Maybe it has nothing to do with race. Maybe it's the way you treated her or the way you ignored her. Woo her like how Don Juan would. Respect her. Worship her. Listen to her. Put your Mizo male ego at the back seat. And believe me, you CAN win her back. As long as you are completely honest and truthful, nothing is difficult. Because deep inside, know that she would probably rather be with a Mizo than a non-Mizo because of all the complications I've stated above.


Thank you and have a nice day.

Ps. I know some of you may disagree with my opinion. Do feel free to contact me if you want to discuss about this. – Kima , phone no. 9845-5-KIMA-5 (that’s 9845-5-5462-5 if you don’t understand).

Disclaimer: My views and opinions are entirely my own and are not influenced by any external pressure, and my views does not necessarily reflect the views of the Editor of Chhinlung Magazine or anybody else related to this magazine.

34 comments:

Shama said...

Hey as far as I am concerned, chinky girls as u put in, are just materialistic, BMWs kinds, I have just heard about them, never seen them or met them, the girls whom i know are all software engineers and stuff, and very fun loving and sweet, infact i know a punjabi guy, mind you not a sardar :-) who is seeing this northeastern girl and he is a model and he has seriously fallen for her, but they are keeping it casual i guess cause of the stupid society norms, like both their parents wont accept it, wat u say is the truth, all i am saying is, there is a discrimination but when you know a person personally it doesnt matter, all that matters is he or she is your friend or date or girlfriend, talks are more important than race, in day to day life. As far as the govt is concerned, they just need a reason so I a agree with you on some points but I havent seen so much or to an extent as you have said. Phew! That was long, I am done, hope its sensible.

illusionaire said...

@ Shama: Thanx for you comment dear :-)

Believe me I am all for a relationship between different races. I just hoped it didnt make me sound like some of those mizo guys who stubbornly say "No, our mizo girls should not marry non-mizos" and when you ask them why, they reply, "because they are Mizos". Thats a load of Bull. All I'm trying to point out is the other aspects involved when one marries into the community of another that is completely different from one's own, under the prevailing Indian Society. Reality bites.

Anonymous said...

Lovely article... but i cant digest one factor. What do you mean "its a part of life" when you are racially discriminated? I used to look up to you and the way you write, but i never expected you to welcome being discriminated with such open arms. You are losing it man.

illusionaire said...

What The .... ??? Hey ANON, I'm really glad ur a regular at my blog, but lemme tell u something. Don't think u know about me just because you read all my posts. Let me ask you this one simple thing. Are you a chinky? Coz, believe me, unless you are one, you will not know what we go thru everyday. Who the F welcomes being discriminated anyway? Was there any part in my post where I wrote how much I love being discriminated? Seriously dude/dudette, try to make sense in what ur trying to say. No offence intended though.

Anonymous said...

Its a "duddette" and yes I am a "chinky" and I am sure I am much more "chinky" than you, and I never use the word "chinky" unlike people like you who think you are so kool to use that word, just like how African-Americans use the word "niggah" among themselves but dun allow non-Blacks to use it, the same way people like you use the word "chinky" but get into a fight immediately if a non-"chinky" calls you by that name. That doesnt make any sense.

But hey man, let us not do this.I really love your blog and probably one of your most regular visitors eva since that post on "Freedom" and I dun wanna be one of those people who post anonymously at other people's blog and argue with them. Let us forget this whole thing. Do keep writing.

Mary Jane said...

Whoah Kim. Thats a really strong post. I have never seen this side of you. You are indeed versatile. To be fair, I really don't know much about your Indian culture to comment on this topic. But it was a very good read.

Sangtei B. said...

Hey Kim, controversial topic…hmmm…What the heck, if you find true love – ‘The ONE’ outside your tribe/ caste/ society, it would be foolish to let that go…. You can never please everyone all the time…if you truly believe in something or someone, give it your best shot and be true to yourself….. results (happiness, success….. however you measure it) will follow suit  Not necessary that you get all what you wanted at the end of it all but you get to learn and explore a whole new horizon in the process… which is the beauty of the experience… Cheers !!

swar said...

tsk tsk tsk kima, i am no longer gonna give u more bekang ;p marrying into a different community is a tightrope. more so when ure a north eastern girl. u have to either ignore or confront prejudices with lotsa discretion that it truly becomes a strain sometimes. lotsa heartburns, yes, but dude, love just makes u capable of superhuman efforts ;p and no, how i keep my traditions and culture alive with my kids will test the core strength of my own race/community and how much it has been able to inspire me.

u on ur way to becoming a mizo brahmin, huh? all pure blood, genes and stuff ;p

illusionaire said...

Sorry people, I had a busy weekend, I couldnt reply to ur comments earlier...

@ Anonymous: Well, my sincere apologies for hurting ur sentiments. Seriously, I guess I am pretty used to using the "C" word with my frens who are also north-easterns. And yeah I am definitely not one of those people who gets into a fight if someone calls me a chinky. Its just a matter of ignoring such people and carryinng on with your life. I have been quite active in many online Indian communities, like Orkut, India Forum, Hi5, etc etc and yes occassional you come across many chinky-bashing incidents. Just let it pass. Since these members hide behind anonymous nick-names, they will only insult you further and aggravate the whole incident. My advice: Keep them on ignore mode. There are a lot of really good people out there, dont let a few bad apples distort ur judgement. Peace, anon.

@ Mary Jane: Its quite interesting actually MJ. Maybe if you follow the comments page, you will get to know more about what we're discussing here. nd do keep visiting :-)

illusionaire said...

@ Sangtei: Yes I completely agree with you Sangs. There is no such thing more wonderful than being with the person you truly love. I've been there, done that. All I wanted to talk about are the various hurdles involved when it comes to society. Coz I have seen the children of mixed parents, and I really feel sorry for them when other people around them treat them differently. These chidren are brought up with a certain amount of fear and insecurity in them. Thats really not the sweet childhood memories I'd like my children to have.

illusionaire said...

@ bem: Oh no! No more bekang from you? How will I survive? :-) Actually, dear, I called u up a couple of days ago coz I wanted you to read my current article and wanted ur honest opinion on it coz of ur current situation. Me a Mizo brahmin? LoLz. Sweetie, thats not a very nice joke.

Well, actually when I was writing this article, I tried not to let my emotions and sentiments get before me. Ofcourse if it was any other post, I would have said stuff like, you know, love will conquer all, love will keep them alive, as long as they are deeply in love, everything becomes possible etc... but just this once, I was trying to be more realistic here.

and.. "ouch" on the Hitler syndrome accusation! :-(

Matt said...

Dear Kima,

Although we have never met, through the grapevine and now the blog world I’ve come to learn about your writing on inter-racial relationships. Your article is intriguing and certainly compels one to ponder their own perspective on race and relationships. I commend you on bringing racism to a forum where people can discuss, argue, and hopefully struggle in a constructive manner.

Before I put forth my fifty-paise worth of commentaries, I must admit some characteristics that render me biased. When reading my opinions one must remember that: 1) I am a white-ass Americano from a middle-class plain-Jane Christian US family; 2) The only Indian city I’ve lived in is Delhi, and collectively for only 10 months; 3) I’ve never even visited the NE; and 3) philosophically speaking--gulp-yikes--I consider myself a feminist. Now that I’ve confessed my sins, I also would like to say that in Delhi I identify culturally and socially closely with people from NE. My best friends here are from the NE, and generally speaking, this is simply because we are similar. More often than not we share a language, religion, “Western” culture, and most importantly the experience of living in India as a member of a minority race. Perhaps knowing my background will reduce the impact of my potentially offensive words—please take my perspective of the topic as a friendly addition from a goofy outsider.

The two points you raise that strike me most fascinating (and somewhat paradoxical) are the concepts of respect for women and your advice to marry within your own tribe. Ok, here we go.

What kind of freak is a man who calls himself a feminist? To me, feminism means approaching life from an egalitarian, objective, open-minded, and respectful point-of-view—not a psycho man hater who thinks men are responsible for all things evil in this world. Certainly, as you point out, women deserve respect. But why don’t we also add equality to the list of essential relationship components? For example, in your article you say:

This [the slut image] is due to the fact that there are so many girls from the North-east including Mizoram who party every night at late night discotheques and pubs and flirt with anybody and basically anything. If you have a car and money, you can do anything you want to these girls. These girls bring nothing but pure shame onto my kind. And this makes the common people stereotype other north-eastern girls into thinking they are there to be picked-up when infact all they wanted to do is just have nice clean fun at these places.

Something tells me that the men are just as, if not more, guilty of participating in this promiscuous behavior you’ve described. Do the NE men who go along with these women not also bring shame to your kind? But instead of being labeled a slut, the men might be called macho or a playboy.

Each relationship in the world requires something unique to make it click, but in my opinion treating the opposite sex with equality affords the most harmony and generates trust, respect, and even intimacy. Don’t get me wrong, everyone has separate talents, but placing more value on stereotypical masculine tasks hinders the development of an egalitarian relationship and consequently society. Men can cook, clean and wash clothes while women are capable of working in any position outside the home. Similarly, women should be entitled to the same freedom of sexuality as men.

To this end, we should also examine the basis of patriarchal systems. No one knows for sure why early African and Mesopotamian matriarchal systems were replaced with masculine dominated societies, but there is no doubt that men ubiquitously (consciously or unconsciously) have spent centuries keeping women from gaining equal power within their societies by utilizing violence, destruction, and discrimination. The parallels between male-female relationships and inter-racial relationships are significant; in my opinion empowering the underdog in both circumstances requires education, tolerance, and passion.

One thing I can assure you is that inter-racial relationships in the US are not the harmonious ball of gooey love depicted in Hollywood and elsewhere. Racism is alive and raging in my country, and it is certainly exemplified in romantic relationships. In Chicago, one of my co-workers was dating a woman of a different race which ended because neither one could introduce the other to the family without causing an uproar. Fifty years ago, if my friend was caught he could have been beaten, jailed, or even killed for being with a white woman. But thanks to pioneers in the past, who stayed together despite terror, biracial relationships in the US are now more acceptable than ever. In progressive urban American cities, biracial couples can walk down the street holding hands and no one would even turn an eye.

Of course India is a completely different story. The stigma is greater here, the consequences more severe. But I disagree with your statement, “that is how things have always been for the past thousand years. No amount of social revolution will ever uproot the practice of identification and segregation from our system.” Certainly things will change, in fact they already are. Every day our world becomes more globalized, and diversified relationships are and will continue to be a successful product of this transformation from isolation to interdependency. In addition to a better genetic inheritance, new generations will be more tolerant of culture, race, and lifestyles (maybe even gender). Today the world’s population is well over six billion, and by the time you and I retire it will approach ten billion. How can the world survive if these four billion new people do not learn to adjust, accept and embrace one another no matter what their heritage?

As I feel you clearly demonstrated, tradition, culture, and history are at risk of losing importance in inter-racial relationships. My partner is from a different country and if we have children they will certainly be less in-tune with tradition as she and I know it now. However, this is a risk I willfully take because the benefits I will gain from learning a new culture, language, and heritage will outweigh the loss. Moreover, preserving and encouraging tradition does not come without risk, and can be used to a society’s disgrace. George Bush won the US presidency primarily due to the conservative Christian constituency in America. His ticket to ride included traditional values, piled on more tradition, served with a second helping of family traditional values, and topped off with a dessert of core traditional values. Beginning March 19, 2003, Mr. Bush used his power to invade Iraq, his war killed tens if not hundreds of thousands of innocent people, all in the name of preserving the American tradition of democracy and freedom.

Don’t worry, I’ll shut-up soon. Yesterday I watched a young friend be cremated after his unexpected death. This ceremony really made me think about how transient we humans are--how in the end, all that will remain of any of us will be a series of influential actions that just might be able to positively affect future lives. In my opinion, the way to make life better for those after us is by opening up to tolerance, pushing people to look beyond what society says is right, and encouraging people to fight for equality, whether it be between sexes or races.

As Mr. Dylan so eloquently says:

Come mothers and fathers all over this land
And don't criticize what you can't understand
Your sons and your daughter are beyond your command
Your old role is rapidly aging
Please get out of the new one if you can't lend a hand
For the times they are a changing

illusionaire said...

@ Matt: **bows**

Dear Matt,
That was a really beautiful and thought provoking contribution. I will definitely reply to your comment and continue with this discussion later today. Thankyou for commenting once again.

-Kima.

butterfly5 said...

Kim,

I totally agree with Matt when he pointed out that NE men too go out and sleep around but they are called 'machos and playboys or Don Juans' .

This is totally in keeping with the old Mizo tradition, before we were Christians, of the men trying to sleep around with as many women as they could and not die a virgin 'coz if a man dies a virgin, he will be shot with a big arrow by the keeper of the gates of 'Pialral' ( Mizo version of Paradise) and he will have the wound for the rest of his time in Pialral, ie, the rest of his life :-P

Yet, the paradoxical thing which always astounded me was that a woman was expected to be a virgin till her marriage and if she wasn't, she was ostracized! Now, here we have the scenario of the man tryin to seduce as many women as he could and the women trying to guard her virginity!! The man who could seduce maximum number of women was regarded highly by his mates. But thankfully, that was eons ago, yet i think the mentality has stayed on.

Anyway, the point is, sleeping around is viewed differently when practiced by both the sexes. I think its pretty unfair, not that i advocate for sleeping around, but at least lets not be hypocritical about it. Why judge the woman harshly and not the man?

Love,
Eve

swar said...

ok, pal. m generous with apologies and a good one goes for any hitler syndrome accusations :) matt is damn right on the respect and tolerance part. and his definition of a 'feminist' is encouraging.

all of us need to get out of our self-appointed wells and inch out with a bigger heart, a better mind.

C'est la vie said...

That was a heavy post and very well written. I wish all of us could do what we really wanted but the fact is we're all slaves to the society and we follow the "abelien paradox". We do something for someone thinking that they may want that. Maybe they don't but we'll do that neverthless.
Now do you know me silverkim?????

benjamin rualthanzauva said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
benjamin rualthanzauva said...

Here I got my inspiration. I had a year of love. She branded me insensitive. I thought I did my best, may be wasn't good enough.

As the blogger blogged, many times I have heard myself that our girls (Mizos) like Mainland Indians because they care for them better.

Lets take this as a challenge and motivation , we could do more to care for them better.

nell_maiden said...

Well, lemme make it short; Love exist only with the supernatural ONE i.e GOD

The love or Eros btw a man and a woman is just a compromise; it aint lasting;

So; look out for the long run; u can be a man or a woman; so marry what will be most suitable for u in the long run; can be any colors
Eros won't last long baby;


As for me; it ain't matter hehe

illusionaire said...

@ matt: Dear Matt, I have actually post the reply I meant for you as a new post since it was getting pretty long and this page might take a really long time to load Hope we can continue the discussion over there.

illusionaire said...

@ Butterfly5 :

Dear Eve, you are completely right... Love you. Muaaah*

-Kim :-)

illusionaire said...

@ bem : Thanx a lot dear, so I guess that means you will supply me with "bekang" once again? Yay! :-)

@ C'est la Vie: Yes ofcourse, you must be Priyanka from the way you quickly deleted my comment in ur blog. :-) But if you are indeed my dear dear fren Pri, then God help me I am going to burst in flames for you never kept in touch properly after u stopped orkutting. And here I was sick and worried about ur where-abouts.

illusionaire said...

@ Benjamin : Exactly Bro! You got what I'm trying to say. Instead of complaining or bitching, it would make much better sense to compete.

@ nell_maiden : Hahaha Murgy, welcome to my blog. Thanx for your comment. I really am impressed with you sometimes, the way how ur able to suddenly talk about God and religion in a very convincing way. People who don't know you will definitely think you're one deeply religious guy. But too bad, that won't work with me. By the way shall I mail u ur snaps, the one we took together in that Pub on CP ? :-)

nell_maiden said...

Sure I do adore divinity and inspired; however; having faith(which can move mountains) is a different thing...

M just a theological admiring dude who cannot let go off the theologian of Metal hahaha

what pic?? did we shoot some???

did u do it purposefully when i was unaware???

Anonymous said...

hi, interesting article there but forgive me for not sharing in on all the hue and cry over discrimination. wake up people! we're in the 21st century! i'm sorry to burst your bubble but this is no longer the age of demagogues and preachers. its the time to get off ur asses and do something. i dont mean to offend anyone but i feel the hurdle ur facing is within ur self. u expect to be treated civil when u yourself claim to be part of a tribe. the entire world is moving on an upward path people, then why talk about vengeance, jihads, tribal customs, ideologies, etc. people who claim to be victimised are a minoroty that are uneducated and sit on their asses all day and do nothing about it. you all have rights, brains, and a body to do what you want, then why come under the axe and keep taking shit. the time for talks and half measure is over, now you need to do things. and by that i do not mean take up arms, i mean righteousness. stand up for urself.fact of the matter is we need to realise that right is right and wrong is wrong, and even a thousand wrongs dont make a right. i'm not implying we take up the example 'rang de basanti' put before us so please dont misunderstand me. remember when you fight against wrong, ur never alone, and even if you are, there is no reason to retreat, coz u are right.
if you feel someone is insulting you, stand up for urself and dont think twice about it, only remember to be civilesed. thats the only thing that differentiates us from animals, and we are not animals.
thanks

illusionaire said...

@ Nell: He he he... I took that snap while u were completely sloshed on 30ml of RS, and while Jason was trying to make a move on my girlfren becoz you both didnt know then that Eve and I were a couple :-)

illusionaire said...

Dear anonymous,

Those are really encouraging words and I am happy you took so much time off to write that much. But there is just one point I'd like to discuss personally with you. Where is it written that Just because a person belongs to a tribe, he/she cannot be treated civilly? Just because I claimed to be a tribe doesn't mean that we must be treated differently, don't u think? According to most Mainland Indians, the first thing that comes to their mind when they hear the word "tribal" is a bunch of ragged homeless illiterate backward race of people. Thats exactly the point I've been trying to make. People tend to stereotype too much. If only you take time off and come to Aizawl, or Kohima, or Shillong, or any other North-eastern cities, u will find out how advanced the place and people actually are. Being a tribe is continuing a part of our culture and history, and not about telling others to look down upon us.

No Hidden Depths said...

2339 words, 10,822 characters, 165 lines, and 28 paragraphs. Phew!!
Your longest post so far? I bet! :D

See KimKim, its a very subjective topic. No wonder there are so many comments on it. For some people, "Blood is everything!"
While for some "Love is everything!". Some prefer to have a relationship only with ppl of their own kind just to be on the safe side, while the adventurous kinds don't mind the race/blood thing.
Some could agree with Matt talking about how relationships are being transformed because of globalization. But then, at the individual level, it doesn't. Relationships maybe, but not marriage!

illusionaire said...

You actually counted???? LoLz!!!!

Anyway, this article of mine was published and the magazine finally released last saturday. Oh my God, it has stirred a much bigger hornet's nest than I expected. People everywhere are discussing this topic and I must prepare myself for a lot of bombardment when I go to our mizo church this coming Sunday. Wish me all the best bro.

No Hidden Depths said...

HeHe.. Ever heard of MS Word's "Word count" feature?
Tools->Word Count
*hehe*
I guess its only US writers who know about it *grin*
BTW, didn't realize that Pu NELL was also here!! lolzz..Eh! a lo comment ve alo? hahaha
it has stirred a much bigger hornet's nest than I expected.
I don't understand why it has stirred a hornet's nest, but then different subjects arouse different people.
All the best! ;o) ciao

illusionaire said...

but the question is, why wud u wanna word count my article? Min van han ngai sang awm ve a! hahahahahahaha!!!!!

No Hidden Depths said...

Ngaihsang awm bawk em a lawm!!
2339 words and no conclusion... :D

illusionaire said...

Whadya mean "No conclusion"? You think I'm writing a freaking Report? Sheeeesh you Corporate people, always seeing the World in Black and White (No pun intended, Mr.BlackWhite) Muah ha ha ha *GRIN*

michael said...

Hi Kima,

Quite a long article that.. however, I did read it through.. Oh, I'm sorry, allow me to introduce myself to all the guys on this blog... I'm Michael, an Anglo Indian and I'm from Calcutta.

To get to the point, I agree with the gist of all that you said. To add to what you have stated, let me tell you that since I've studied in Japan and travelled and lived in the whole of the Far East I've developed a fetish - if you could call it that, of being attracted to Oriental women. Sure, I've had loads of girls, but on the whole I find Oriental looking women the most beautiful and eye catching..

Here in Calcutta I've dated shit loads of girls - 99.999 percent of whom have been from the North East. Yea I dated these women for one simple reason - they seemed to me, to be easy lays. At least with a Mizo or Manipuri girl, you don't have to ask her father or mother or bro or sis or uncle or grandparents for permission before taking her out for a dinner and date. You ask the girl and if she decides that she finds you good enough for her, that's it. You date or go out or make love or whatever..

Two things I'd like to say about this. The first is that I totally agree with you on the North Eastern girls all being stereotyped and having a sluttish reputation. I've had frequent arguments with office colleagues, friends and families in trying to defend the reputation of some girl I've only just met. My argument is that the bottomline is SEX. Every person - man or woman wants it, but nobody has the BALLS to say so. Indian girls act like Innocent Virgins - but can anyone tell me why is it that India has near to the largest population in the world!! It's all about sex plain and simple. Indians think that by not talking about it, it kinda makes them saints. HOWEVER I RESPECT ALL THESE NORTH EASTERN WOMEN - CAUSE THEY HAVE THE BALLS TO DO WHAT THEY WANT, AND ARE NOT AFRAID TO LET THE WORLD SEE THEM. OTHER WOMEN, DONT' HAVE THE BALLS TO STAND UP FOR THEMSELVES.

My take on the matter is : All those Non - North Eastern Women who think themselves better than your girls - well, just screw them - both figuratively and if possible, then literally too.

Another thing I want to share with you guys is an opinion of mine - I hope you guys can spread this message... IT IS THIS : IF I AS A GUY HAVE TEN GIRLS - ALL YOU OTHER GUYS ARE GONNA ENVY ME, CALL ME A STUD, ASK ME HOW I DID IT, TRY AND EMULATE ME.. AND STUFF.. HOWEVER, LET A GIRL HAVE MORE THAN ONE GUY AND IMMEDIATELY EVERYONE CALLS HER A WHORE, A BITCH, A SLUT.. AND OTHER SUCH SHITTY NAMES... tHE POINT I'M TRYING TO MAKE HERE IS THAT ME AS THE GUY WITH MANY GIRLS AND THE GIRL WITH MANY GUYS ARE BOTH DOING THE SAME THING.. HOW IS IT THEN THAT ONE IS ADMIRED AND THE OTHER ABUSED AND VILIFIED??? AND MOREOVER WHO THE HECK GAVE ANY SOD THE RIGHT TO PASS JUDGEMENT???

I'M GETTING MARRIED NOW TO A NAGA GIRL. I'M SHIT LOADS PROUD OF HER AND LOVE HER LIKE CRAZY. THE DEVIL SAVE THE PERSON WHO THINKS BAD OF HER...

KIMA, YOU GUYS NEED TO BECOME MORE OPEN.. TO YOUR GIRLS GETTING FRIENDLY WITH PEOPLE FROM OTHER CASTES... Don't vilify your girls when they do something you don't like. Instead offer them your support and guidance. Maybe this would help to change they way your community - and particularly your girls seem themselves. Maybe it would give them more confidence, strength and self respect to face up to all those perverted, sex crazed Non-North Eastern ignoramuses out there..

Equality for all.. POWER TO ALL YOU WOMEN.

Michael

PS : Anyone with anything to say, or gripe about can write to me at michael.derozario@bdpin.com