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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Chp 276. Velvet Lounge, Mumbai - Review.


Every now and then, as an active blogger, we like to give our feedback or review on a movie, restaurant, book, pub etc if our experience was really amazing, or dissatisfactory.

Sadly for me, last saturday’s party at Velvet Lounge, Powai, Mumbai, was one of utter disappointment.



Errr… ok the above is a completely different Velvet Lounge [source: mu design] I spent 3 hours online looking for their logo and couldn’t find it.

There were a lot of things I liked about the place, but the negatives clearly outweighed them. Let me start with the positive aspects first.

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Being a 5 star hotel (Renaissance), the ambience and surroundings were truly elegant and breathtaking. But being a 5 star hotel, that cannot be labeled as their USP - It’s a part of the whole “5 star status” package (except for, maybe, the beautiful Powai lake view).



The security was tight, and although it created some inconveniences for people getting in, it was quite reassuring for us Mumbaikars, if you know what I mean. And the sniffer dog was extremelyyy adorable. It licked me lovingly and I really really really wanted to dognap kidnap the cute little mongrel.

The service was great too. Before going to the discotheque, I searched online and people wrote about the bad service and how the bartenders didn’t live up to their expectations. As for me, I think the bartenders did pretty well. I had only beer but my friends tried out all sorts of concoctions and they were all made to perfection. They were very polite and courteous, and most important of all, remembered my drink when I went for a second or third amidst the blaring music.

Entry cost – 1200 for couples and 1500 for stags, which again was not bad since they were entirely cover-charge. (But definitely not worth it if you’re a teetotaler).

Drinks cost – Again for a discotheque of this class, the drinks were not ridiculously overpriced, unlike a few other places I know. 250 bucks for a pint of beer, and most of the “usual” hard liquor started from 350 for a small (30ml). Advice: If you aren’t the Sultan of Brunei, stick to beer. And do what the rest of us commoners do – Drink before reaching the venue.

The glow – I loved the glow all across the very lengthy bar. Very night-clubbish indeed.


[image source]

The smoking section – I went out to smoke quite a number of times, and not even once did I catch a whiff of marijuana in the air. Don’t you just hate it when people start smoking up right next to you at a pub or disc and run a risk of police raiding the place and throwing you in the police van for being present at the “scene of crime”? I have nothing against people who smoke up. I just hate spending the nights in jail.

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I think those are the positive points about the place.

Now onto the bad.

First of all, the loo was freaking dirty. Made me sick every time I went to pee (and pee many times I did as I was having only beer). There were no attendants in the restroom, something very hard to believe for a 5 star hotel stature. And hey, even if there weren’t anybody there, how about sending somebody every 30 minutes or so to clean the mess some idiots made? Every time I went to pee, there was a line of guys complaining about the dirt.

Next – the dance floor. Hah, dance floor my ass. There were 10 of us in our group that night, and we all went together to the main dance floor excitedly after a couple of drinks at “the other side” of the lengthy discotheque. How disappointed we all were! I think I counted just three disco bulbs meekly rotating around the place. One section was completely dark, as the lights weren’t working. Considering the great ambience outside the discotheque, that was a real bummer. An anti-climax. It’s like you paid for a Benz and they delivered a Nano.

What is a discotheque without proper lighting effects? Trust me, our college hostel parties were way better than the place! My friends complained that the dance floor was uneven too. I didn’t notice that but the smoke effect was really sad. Reminded me of those failed chemistry lab experiments with dry ice back in school.

Music – I thought the dance floor was the lamest thing I had ever seen, until I heard the music. No offence to the DJ, but the quality of Deejaying that night was in extreme poor taste. I used to hang out a lot with my DJ friends back in Hyderabad and B’lore, and believe me, they spun way better.

First of all – no we do not want to hear your voice every 1 minute. Sure you may want to make an announcement or there are indeed some important announcements to make. But every time you speak, the freaking music stops. And that screws up the entire rhythm for us. When you’re in the middle of a motion that you truly enjoy, you wanna keep going right? And if something disturbs you, it’s very hard to get back to that frame of mind and find your rhythm again… ok some of you naughty minds are thinking about “it”. Point made.

Sure, you may need to pump up the crowd with clich├ęd lines like “Party people, let’s make some noiiiise” or “this is for all the ladies in da houseeee” etc. But that should happen at the beginning of the track or in between tracks, not in the middle of it. And that too at such frequent intervals! Being disturbed frequently – Epic FAIL definitely.

Secondly, go easy on the remixes please… We have more than enough of remixes of popular club numbers. And it’s no rocket science remixing a song, what with the number of softwares “freely” available today. Of course the quality that people like us make will not be as good as a DJ’s remix. Hence I can understand if the DJ slips in a remix or two here and there among the other popular original tracks. But playing the remix of every song was not cool. And I could have sworn some were remixes of remixes.

Third point regarding the music – You’re not even scratching. At least get your sequences right. One time hiphop, suddenly followed by trance, and then bollywood, followed by club, then back to hiphop. Aaargh. Are we playing musical chair at a kid’s birthday party? I paid good money to unwind on the dance floor after such a tiring week in office. I love dancing regardless of the kind of music playing. But no DJ ever changes the genre abruptly. You gotta move gradually from one type to the other. There has to be a flow so that we don’t lose our rhythm.

Fourthly, I’d like to end my night at a discotheque with trance. Because, 1. You’re pretty tired towards the end and 2. You’re pretty drunk. And so you go on a “trance trip”. Don’t you just love trance trips? Sadly that night, it ended with bollywood music. We all left fuming and disappointed before the “last song”. If you are a bollywood remix lover, you can ignore this last point. Or maybe not, because my friend V loves bollywood and she said there are two types of bollywood remixes – good and bad. What was played that night were all bad bollywood apparently. I don’t know anything about bollywood remixes so no comments on that.

Valet parking – We waited a long time before our car finally came. Maybe it seemed longer because we were disappointed. But whatever be the case, the fact that I wrote half this review the moment I reached home clearly reflected the way I felt about the place. After all, how many of you actually switch on your PC and start blogging after returning from a disc at four in the morning?




27 comments:

Pixie said...

ok... i couldn't read beyond jail!
have u been in jail for being present "at the scene of the crime" so as to speak?? :D

Pixie said...

you wrote this at 4 AM??
Dude! you just published this!! ;)

I hate it when a remix is played on a dance floor in a club/pub!

But tell me seriously, you had fun didn't you?!!! ;) ;) :P :P

illusionaire said...

lolzzzz.... some things are best left unsaid! :P

Just kidding... :D Actually, no, but I came pretty close to being arrested twice, and personally know people who have been arrested at a "night club raid" even though they never indulged in any illegal substances. Of course a blood test later proved them innocent, but they will always carry that tag... :D

And I said I wrote half this post that very morning at 4am itself. I published this just now because on Monday, I wanted to publish my "Monday Music" post (the previous post). heeheehee :D

Eveline said...

When i think of the club there are few images that come to mind. Such as black tight pants, Iranian dudes who wear silk shirts, getting drunk, fights breaking out right in front of your table with the bouncer holding people back and drunk girls yelling, then seeing your friends hook up with some dude later and it's SO RRRAN-DOM. But then we finally did understand that this is not how rock stars party. So now we just throw Victorian High Tea parties and listen to Chopin. :D

I hate badly lit dance floors and hard-to-shut-up DJ's - they're the worst! Seriously considered clocking one last time, but then I realized he was drunk, twice my size, so I just limped back to our table instead.

Eveline said...

Funny thing. While i was leaving a comment on your space guess who was lurking on mine? ;)

illusionaire said...

My point exactly. I don't know why some DJs keep blabbering on the mic. We come to listen to them play, not to hear them speak every few minutes, hence stopping the music rhythm. If I want to hear someone speak, I will go attend a school recitation program or something like that.

And believe me, the lighting was worse than your B'lore's The Club, Taika, Club X, Styx, Sparks, etc etc.

lolz at Victorian high tea and Chopin. Thats my kinda clubbing! :D

And *wink* at our mental connection. Telepathy, my dear. :-)

chhangte_ll said...

I senso zawng zawng kha Biakin thawhlawm a thawh zawk la, hetianga vuihmuipu in i awm awm tawp siloa :D

Pixie said...

You still haven't answered my question. You enjoyed yourself didn't you?!!! :P :P

illusionaire said...

oieeeee here comes the Holy Mafias :D Harsa deuhva ka thawh chhuah 1/10 chu "tithe" angin ka pe lut a, ka lawm ve e hotupa. :-)

illusionaire said...

@ Pixie: lolz, you commented while I was replying. :-)

Frankly speaking, it was fun to a certain degree, and enjoyed somewhat. But as I mentioned about all the negatives in the post, that took away every enjoyment I planned to have.

But if you're talking about me enjoy blasting Velvet Lounge, yup, you are right! :-) It feels like sweet revenge... hihi.

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illusionaire said...

No thanx.

Mimihrahsel said...

Don't expect me to come and bail you out! umm.. so.. 1500 for stags (no date for you of course), plus 250 for a pint of beer, maybe 2 of those? Plus, 1000 for that brand new shiny disco shirt you bought (lol), 3000 for the new tight bell bottomed leather pants (lmao), it comes up to 6000 bucks or more! hmmm.. you could have bought me a laptop mouse instead, We could have had a Happy Mimi, instead of a grumbling sad Kima :-D

Alejendro said...

Your point exactly: Velvet Lounge ah zu i va in a, i rawnin sawithei :-D

Nita said...

Good detailed review! Thanks. :)

Irene said...

Hey.. i review dan chu aw...

Nuam i tih tho ka beisei. Nia i point out ho point khi ka ngaih pawimawh ve zawng tak a nia. V Star hotel velah chuan kan beisei hi a sang vek alawm.

Faina kawng velah hi chuan Mizoram hi kan fai ka ti sin...Chennaiah V star pawh hi Mumbai nen chuan in ang ve tho mai i point chhuah ho khi..

mahse nextah chuan perfect better placeah i lam tawh ngei ka duh sak che...

illusionaire said...

@ Mimi: hehehe my dear cousin "sister". I will look for a mouse that costs 6000 bucks and will definitely buy that for you. However, I cannot find one that costs that much... can you please help me look for one? I do not want to buy a mouse thats cheaper than 6K coz you've filled my heart with guilt.

@ Alej: Hah. Kan in na zawng zawng kan ziah zel te chuan a :P Hemi zan chu ka thinrim bawka, ka rawn ziak a nih hi.

@ Nita: Thanks, and also thank you for your beautiful comment on my TEHELKA post. I love your blog and have subscribed to your feed on bloglines (though I am encountering a minor problem with your feed, which I hope will be resolved automatically)

@ Irene: lolzzzz i duhsakna min hlan dan chu... "nextah chuan perfect better placeah i lam tawh ngei ka duh sak che" haha... thanx anyway :-)

DayDreamBeliever said...

I would have enjoyed seeing all those 'moves' you made on the dance floor, tee hee!

Honestly, though, I don't think discos and pubs are that great (not that I've been to too many); I mean, how can you stand so many people and so much noise and claim that to be a relaxing experience? Oh well, to each his own. And good luck with the next weekend bash!

123 123 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
claytonia vices said...

Hey illusionaire, did you not notice the sign at the entrance: "Bring Your Own Disco Lights"?

LOL, kidding!

Nice review! :)

matt said...

hey munde...... i quite subscribe to most of the comments that u blah.. blahh .. blahhed.. the last time i was there kinda reflected the ways in which u ejaculated ur choice of words. I had my share of fun n puns out there, but that was some time ago... Kudos to ur internetter blogger journalistic commentosssss.... Keep it up Mundeeee (I dont just call everybody mundes) Matt Khiangte

matt said...

ka soi a bo mi a???????????

nohiddendepths said...

This blog is boring...it's too professional these days, filled with this review, that review. I enjoyed the sexcapades et al - life isn't so happening these days, aight? :D


BW@lawrkhawm (daat) khaam

illusionaire said...

@ Daydream: hihihi... I dance old style... those "the grind" days :D The next weekend bash we had after that, cannot be mentioned in public here *GRIN*

@ Claytonia: lolzzzz... yeah I am surprised we didnt have to bring our own disco lights too, considering the condition. haha. :-)

@ Matt: haha munde. How are you? Hope you are fine? lolz. See, we have come to a point where we have to communicate through my blog even though we live just a few miles apart! We should meet up one day bro.

@ nohidden:

"This blog is boring... I enjoyed the sexcapades et al"

Ahemzz... then why don't you check my next upcoming post if you want the shizzle and the dizzle? :D

QUEEN_BEE_S said...

wow i was there last night i must agree music did suck :( and i did notice the dark corner of the club....

illusionaire said...

lolz, two years later and things are still the same over there huh? I haven't been there again since I wrote this review. Looks like I am not missing much. Thanx for the update :)

Geneza Pharmaceuticals said...

Such strong disappointment for so much money((