Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Chp 277. Chastity.



She left him.

Like a cold gust of winter wind, she left him, drowning in his own pool of self pity and grief. He had always wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, growing old together and naming their grand children. She loved him back, he thought. All those whispers of sweet nothings and gentle caresses had been nothing but a sham. The day he lost his inheritance, he lost more than he ever imagined.

She walked out, neither uttering a word nor shedding a tear.

She convinced herself that she did the right thing. Like many young women in her town, she wanted a future. She wanted stability and security. He was the most eligible bachelor in her town, coming from the most affluent family. And she thought she had it all when he proposed to her – They made love that night, even though their community was vehemently opposed to premarital sex. She said yes against her will and closed her eyes.

She knew they were committing a grave sin and breaking a sanctimonious traditional law. But she didn’t care because the future blinded her and muddled her judgment. She thought she loved him, until a week later his father discovered he was not really his son and in a fit of rage cut him off from his will. He threw him out, along with his mother, banished, never to return.

It was then that she suddenly realized she had never loved him. With the riches and glory gone, there was now suddenly a large eerie void. She couldn’t believe how foolish and naïve she had been. She felt sorry for leading him on. She regretted sleeping with him. She contemplated and felt dirty. Extremely dirty.

She moved to the city the next day. She couldn’t take the gossips and whispers anymore. The venomous stares that seemed to follow her everywhere she went. Deep inside she knew they were right and that she deserved to be judged harshly. But she also knew she made a mistake and that she could not ruin her life just for the sake of “being true to her lover”. A lover that she didn’t even genuinely love. Life is cruel. And the only way to rebuild her life was to go on an exile from the maddening town.

City life was definitely different.

She stayed with her uncle and aunt. They didn’t question her or mention anything about “the” incident. They knew.

Her uncle was a pastor and she found renewed faith in God. She prayed every night and asked God for forgiveness for that one night of sin.

She found a job as a librarian through her uncle’s influence, and in a month she was back on her feet, cheerful and happier, but more importantly, wiser.

She worked devotedly every day in that library, catering to University students and professors. Very soon, all the regular library visitors knew her on a first name basis. Some of the students even had a crush on her. She dismissed their advances sportingly because they were not what she’s looking for. Being wiser, all she wanted was true love. A perfect match.

And then one day, a new He stepped into her life. He was a research assistant. Working on his thesis. Handsome. Smart. Polite. Suave.

After a few days and many smile exchanges later, he asked her out. She nodded with a blush. Their first date was at the University canteen. Tea and momos. They connected immediately. He wasn’t rich, but he came from a respectable family. 42 cousins and a sister who was a renowned gospel singer.

Within a month, she got to know all 42 cousins. His parents absolutely adored her and she was on cloud nine. She imagined what her life would have been like had she remained with the other person. No love. No money. No family. Just plain misery.

She thanked the good Lord that night. Three months passed by. She had never felt this strong and passionate about anyone before. Neither had he. They went to Church together. They went to picnic spots with his family on weekends. Everybody around them could feel the aura of love surrounding them.

Like most men, he of course made his advances when they were alone. A hand gently slipped below or a quick grope. She politely declined and he smiled. He was not persistent. He respected her. She whispered to him that she was a virgin. That she was saving herself. That she was a good Christian afraid of God. He beamed with pride and whispered back that he too was a virgin. And then, he proposed.

As they hugged in joy, she cried. Not tears of joy. She was overwhelmed with shame for lying.

She brushed aside her shame. She convinced herself that some things were best left unsaid. She didn’t want to throw this away. It was too perfect.

One week before the marriage, when all the invitation cards had been sent, her uncle and aunt left the city to attend a pastoral conference. They promised to be back before the wedding. She enjoyed the blissful solitude and dreamt about the wedding once again. Then the phone rang.

She answered. It was her cousin. Two minutes later, her whole world came crashing down. She slapped herself to see if it was all a nightmare. One horrible nightmare she wanted to wake up from.


Alas. It was real.

She sat down. The bedroom spun forever. She ran to the bathroom and vomited. The past came haunting back, with horrendous fangs and fiery breath ready to devour her. In those two minutes of phone call, her cousin told her everything. The guy she left, turned to drugs and led a wasteful life. And then a few days ago, when he heard about her upcoming marriage, he quietly tied a rope on the ceiling and ended his perpetual misery.

But not before releasing a few photographs on the internet. Scandalous photos of the two of them. Taken from his mobile phone camera. Of that one fateful night she regretted. Just five photos, but enough to defile any reputation. Bare bodied. Intimate. Provocative. Straight out of a tacky porn film. A minute after sharing the files online, he took the extreme step.

She felt both anger and pain. Angry for what he did, and pain for what he did a minute after that. She was confused. And most of all, she dreaded how her fiancé was going to react. She had lied to him about her sexual past. The ultimate lie according to any guy - Where male egos frequently clashed.

She called him a hundred times. He didn’t answer. News spread fast, especially in their small community. Internet. MMS. Pen drive. All the fires of Hell burnt slower than that.

She couldn’t eat. And being all alone in her house made things worse. She forgot God. Time ticked slowly. She cried over and over again until she felt dizzy. She didn’t have the courage to go to his house.

And then, just around midnight, her doorbell rang.

With a weakened effort, she meekly opened the door. It was him. Eyes bloodshot with a stench of cheap alcohol. He staggered in and sat on the chair. No words spoken. A deafening silence.

She sat beside him and cried. He looked at her and broke down too. He hugged her and she reciprocated. No matter what the bitterness had been, the chemistry between them soon exploded and he kissed her with strong emotions and fervent desire. She returned the passion in multifold. From there, it was one oiled mechanism smoothly operating one after the other. The shirt. The blouse. The pants. The undergarments. One by one they fell to the ground, all inhibitions shed.

Still no words spoken.

She had never felt such heightened ecstasy before. Mixed with fear and anticipation. She moaned as he entered. It felt like a hot steaming nuclear explosion of pleasure one after the other. Minutes turned to hours. Hours turned to endless waves of ceaseless satisfaction. She felt genuinely complete throughout. She could feel the tears roll down his cheeks and realized how much she meant to him. The past was just the past. He wanted to move on. They had a fantastic future ahead. She held him tight and dug her nails deep into his back as she felt an orgasm brewing one more time.


The next day, he left her.


-------------


44 comments:

Pixie said...

hmm...

you disappear for weeks on end and come up with a sad story??!

Good one though...
written well.

Irene said...

story chu van dangdai ve o...

In hmangaih tak2 chuan past vel hi chu pawimawh lo turah ka lo dah ve ngawt a...mahse mihring rilru hi in ang lo em a ka justify thiam lo.

Kim i story atang hian thil zir tur tha tak a awm chiang phawt e.

Ziak tha lutuk.

illusionaire said...

@ Pixie: :-) Well, I was just trying out a new style, both in terms of typography and plot line. Like if you've noticed, the sentences are very simple and abrupt. Just trying out different things :D

@ Irene: Glad you like the story. Nia kan ziak ve mai mai a nih hi. Treat it as just fiction. Ngaihtuah thui vak emaw thil zir tur tih vel kha chu ngaihtuah pawh a ngailo. I'm just exploring different areas here... :)

Zo Aw - Carey said...

Great lessons there from the Grand Master Himself, eh!

Some people think past is past it does not matter now...but in really the NOW is deeply affected and intertwined with your PAST.

So don't go fooling yourself around...

this also reminded me how we all seem to be writing about (past) relationships over the last few weeks...hows that!

dr_feelgood said...

Nice story,really rings so true.We all have pasts which we dont really want our partners to know.Your story also reminds me of two things.1.The film 'An Officer and a Gentleman' where the girl left him after finding out he wasn't going to make it as an officer,and he hung himself.
2.Chastity daughter of singer Cher hassexchangefromfemale tomale

illusionaire said...

@ Carey: I hope I managed to capture the a part of our culture in this post, and the way people look at this issue.

@ dr_feelgood: So Chase became Chastity? :) My colleagues told me this story is depressing, but I was just trying to write a different kind of story with no implication on anything. Thanx for appreciating.

Zaia said...

A ngaihnawm leh pek e. Nghah man a awm hle mai. Sual pakhat hian sual dang a hring zel thin reng a ni.

mnowluck said...

very interesting.. Damlai lusun a nih duh hmel ve :)!

Mimihrahsel said...

If she really loved him, she could have told the truth. If he really loved her, he wouldn't have left her. So, No Love, No gain, all loss :-D

illusionaire said...

@ Zaia: i sawi chu a dik khawp mai, hotupa. Ka lo amen e, kei misual hian.

@ mnowluck: DUdeeee, you're far off from "dam lai lu sun" :P

@ Mimi: Ahhh. The complexities of love, aye? :)

ruolngulworld said...

nice story, as always - the type you just have to finish once you start. methinks it reflects our culture and mindset. well-written with a somewhat unexpected, surprise ending. more!

Alejendro said...

Va inla senti sawt ve... nangmah i nih duh hmel :-P


A ngaihnawm khawp mai...

mang buhril said...

nice story, keep you engrossed throughout,esp. the last para... he he. You've done ur homework.

what goes around comes around, telling the truth do helps, she should've told him.

Awzzman said...

e khai Pu Kima chu.."Chastity" gi zogam.com ah articles column ah an lo dah a, i pic hair style nalh tawk nen khan....:-) zogam.com ah ka chhiar zo that!

tunlai Mizo thalaite nun hman dan leh tawn mek/tawn tawh te kim chang takin i rawn tar lang a....! kan nula/tv pui te hian chhiar ve ngei se..ka va ti em..! ti ti nikhua te hian thian pakhat chuan Nula chuti zat a ngaih tawh thu..hi insawi theih nan a hmang fo...! ziak tha khawpmai.hi5

Sekibuhchhuak said...

Van ngaihnawm leh pek ve! Damlai lusun in a tawp anih khi, aziaktu pa angin ;-))

Eveline said...

I'll blame it on the fact that I'm so tired, that you worried the wits out of me with this story!
Great post though! :) you do it every time and i love it! you are however just a tad bit twisted. :D

illusionaire said...

@ Eve: lolz. Well, I dont know about me being twisted, but yes, this post was definitely twisted, compared to my usual short stories. Just trying my hand in this genre :-)

@ ruolngulworld: Thanx! :-) I tried to reflect some of our cultural mindset without giving prominent specifications. So that this applies to anybody who comes from a closely knitted conservative background, be it a Mizo, a Naga, a Khasi, someone from Jharkhand, etc.

@ Mang: Thanx :-) Yes, sometimes what goes around comes around, but I hope you just treat this as a fiction and not something to kick-start a debate :-)

@ Awzzman: hehehe... nia ka unauten min rawn dil a, zogam.com a post nan. A lawm awm khawp mai.

@ Seki: hahahaha. Nang leh damlai lusun hi chu awwwwww! :-) Engkim hi tiang nen "correlate" i la tum zel a mi? :D

@ Alej: lolz. Lal OT pa. Thank youssss.

Michele said...

DUDE.....

I LOVED it!! Good job!


Just proves my point that love does not conquer all!

aduhi said...

What goes around comes around.

chhangte_ll said...

Hmmmm....A Pa diktak nilo chuan engtin nge a hmuhchhuah a - Most probably his so-called father must be a Marwari, stupid and rich enough :D Thingpui leh Momos/Dimsum hi a inhmeh loh zia ka hre bawk si, I mean how can one mix chilly paste and tea together - Edit teh, cold drinks tiin ziak zawk la...Lolzzz....

Carey of Zo Aw said...

At the risk of being called a dickhead let me say further that this story truly captures the obsession of the Zo womenfolk with marriage and "future" - their own career and Christianity/chastity will always take a backseat.

I mean its as though the choice is between marriage or nothing at all! Or, maybe, its us menfolk who view them like that and portray them as such (in this story too!)

I think your heroine is a typical Zo girl whose purpose in life is to get marriage (at whatever cost - her chastity, God, damnation,!)

illusionaire said...

@ Michele: Thanx :-) Well, love conquers all, or love will keep you alive, only in mushy M&B novels. Not in real life :)

@ Aduhi: Touché.

@ chhangte_II: awiii hotupa, tui ka ti bawn a sin kei chuan. Chow, mom leh ... something hot. coffee te. (thingpui ka in ngailova).

@ Carey: Its not just the women but us men too. We love to indulge in so many worldly stuff but when it comes to marriage, we all want something "holy" and perfect, something that we definitely do not deserve.

SD said...

Absolute masterpiece.

aduhi said...

@Carey of Zo Aw - Are Zo womenfolk obsessed with getting married? Maybe they did, fifty years ago. Even if we are obsessed with marriage and our future, who are we to blame? I mean aren't women all over the world worried about their future, and if getting married is one way to secure a future, nothing wrong in obsessing over it. But let me also add - I don't worry about marriage and my future because I know I can take care of myself, and I guess many Zo women will agree to the same.

I thought about this story last night, and decided the first guy is to blame. Ok maybe his girl left him because his fortune changed, but what did he do about it? Did he fight to get her back? Did he work hard so that he could gain wealth and win her back? If he really loved her why did he accept everything so meekly and so readily? Instead our hero chose to drown his sorrows in drink, which doesn't help anyone, and eventually everybody loses. What a pity.

simplelifegodlydrive said...

Great reading, Sandman!

I think, though, she should repent and he should forgive. That would make a perfect live-happily-after ending. Don't you think, we need more of live-happily-after ending stories?

Carey said...

@Aduhi - Good for you. And I hope others have the same attitude as you with regards marriage or life-partner. Because thats the kind of women our society needs. Not one looking for security and support from a guy.

And to your comment on the First Guy being a weakling, I completely agree....see that is why precisely women should not look for security, especially financial....emotional maybe!

Back to the story, how convenient for the woman to realise she did not love the First Guy soon after his misfortune!

@Kima, My humble opinion on Chastity or Holy Marriage is that our (speaking for men; and maybe women) very concept of Chastity and Holy is wrong. If we accept that we are born sinners there is no question of someone being chaste and holy. We missed the beauty of Holy Marriages. Its not holy because the two parties are virgins; but because they are MADE holy by the grace of God. Being virgin or chaste is besides the point. So as long as the parties are born-again Christians the marriage is holy. Of course, being chaste will make the marriage more stable and solid.

Anonymous said...

You can never escape your past. It will always come back to haunt you.

keimah said...

Great story, brilliantly written! many people could identify themselves with this story...very realistic settting. Well done, Kima.

Irene said...

I creativity hi chu i ngaihsan awm hle mai. Engtin pawn a plot vel pawh han thlak kual vel thin mahla tha deuh hian i ziak a chhiar anuam.

Tin, Mipain nula thianghlim an duh chuan mipa pawh tlangval thianghlim ni ve ta se tha mai lawm ni chuan fel vek ni mai lawm. Chuan Past vela buaina lo chhuak leh tur chu awm lo mai tur ania.

nancy said...

hei chu hmanna i topic phorh zulzui zel kha a va nih hmel ve... i la hria em aw??

illusionaire said...

@ SD: Oh thank you very much :) I'm glad I could entertain you.

@ simplelife: hehe thanx. Well, I know the story could have gone that way too, but then, sometimes an unexpected ending makes a story even sweeter, even if it is bitter sweetness. Of course we do need fairy tale endings, but sometimes, there are part of a reality that cannot be ignored too :)

@ Aduhi and Carey: You two are having a lot of fun, I see :D

Well Carey, there are points I agree with you. But we should also remember that if we speak of Christianity as a whole, the entire Christian franchise does not believe in being "born again", so does that mean we stick to our denomination ruling and consider other denominations that do not believe in "being born again" as unchristian? Thats why I'm just saying this brings out more points to the table for a debate if we analyze the story :)

illusionaire said...

@ Anonymous: Very true indeed. No matter how we try to convince ourselves that the past does not matter, it comes crawling back in all its ugliness.

@ Keimah: lolz. Thanx boss. Thats why I didnt give a name to the characters or even a location. So that many people, especially from the North East, can relate to this story.

@ Irene: Amen. Hei hi a lawm kan culture a thil pakhat diklo chu. Hmeichhia te chauh hi kan en a, mipa te pawh hian responsibility lian lutuk kan nei tih hi kan hrethiamlo thina, a chang hi chuan.

@ Nancy: lolzzzzzz. May be. Could be. *wink* Khami ni a i sawi kha rawn thawh ve la? :)

Chicco said...

Kudos illusionaire. I'm gonna try to write in this method; simple and comprehensive.
Guys, don't kill yourselves over a girl/boy.
Ladies and gentlemen, don't sleep around, will ya not, PLEASE. However if you can't help but fornicate, do use condoms.

Carey said...

@Kima, instead of us having this debate why don't you write a follow-up post about how you come up with this story. You know kinda like "behind the story' story...should be very interesting. What cha think?!!

Blind Dayze said...

yes yes judging from the comments...this story calls for part2!!! :D

Michele said...

@ Michele: Thanx :-) Well, love conquers all, or love will keep you alive, only in mushy M&B novels. Not in real life :)


Truer words were never spoken.

- Grail

zedoc said...

ive begun to follow ur post..recently..this ones heart-rendin..keep it up :)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
illusionaire said...

@ Chicco: Very good advice :) I got feedback from many friends too that I should follow this style of writing instead of making my sentences lengthy and detailed. Lets see...

@ Carey: lolz... yeah maybe I'll come up with a part two one day :) Will definitely keep that in mind bro.

@ Blind Dayze: hehehe.... and I am still waiting for that banner!!!! :)

@ Michele: OMG!!!!! Grail!!! This is you? Damn, I didnt see that one coming! Whats with the new blogger id? :)

@ Zedoc: Thanx a lot for the follow. Much appreciated. Hope I can live up to your expectations.

baludec4 said...

Good post, nice blog. I like this post. I am follow your blog.

Vikram said...

42 cousins ?

Chawnghilh said...

Ice-cream ruined teeth, new screams plucked the bud —just to play toy with dead-end reel!

ku2 said...

have always thought everyone should be allowed one big mistake in life and 1 'get out of jail free' card, (except in the case of murderers n rapists, grr)

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