With the incessant rain causing havoc at my dear home sweet home Mizoram, landslides and floods seem to be everywhere. But despite these bad tidings, our Mizo spirit and kindred remain strong. And with yesterday being YMA Day, folks everywhere are out in full force helping the needy and victims left with no homes. To make matters even more heartwarming, our people smile and joke, trying to make light of the situation. Our Mizo humor can indeed help us pull through any grief or pain.
Since yesterday, my Facebook timeline is filled with people asking if the road from Aizawl to Lengpui Airport is clear or not. And there may even be more landslides in the coming days, so it is quite likely that people who have a flight today or the next few days may miss their flights if you go by the main Aizawl-Lengpui road via RV and Phunchawng.
So here is an alternate route you can take instead if the road to Lengpui Airport is blocked.
Instead of going towards Lengpui from Chanmari West or Vaivakawn, head towards Bawngkawn. Take the right towards Zemabawk and from the fork at World Bank road, take the left towards Tuirial. Yeah that's right, go towards Tuirial.
Maybe stop for a few minutes at Tuirial and think of all the good times and memories you had when you could easily land at Tuirial airport on a rickety old Vayudoot plane, or those few nights you spent at Tuirial jail due to a drunken brawl… whichever rocks your boat.
Once you complete reminiscing about the past, continue with your journey. You may face some landslides this side too, though there haven't been such reports yet. Anyhoo, if you do happen to be caught in the middle of a landslide, don't be this guy.
Currently he is Mizoram's most famous face :D The driver who posed for a selfie while a landslide was just occurring amidst his passengers shouting and urging him to drive away quickly. Luckily, nobody was injured and only the vehicles got totaled, so, yeah what could have been a disastrous outcome ended up being quite funny.
If you're fortunate enough not to face any landslides or roadblocks on your journey, keep going towards Champhai, passing through the idyllic towns of Ruallung, Dulte, Kawlkulh, Khawzawl etc.
Soon you'll see Champhai in your sight.
From here if you want, you can drive up to Kelkang and pray for those affected by nature's wrath. While praying at Kelkang, if you don't reach an epiphany, then remind yourself you're way beyond redemption so just continue with your journey. Go to Zokhawthar.
Cross the India-Burma check gate at Zokhawthar. Welcome to Myanmar.
Once you're inside Burmese territory, proceed towards Rih dil and skinny dip into the biggest lake in Mizoram that lies in Burma.
Once you are refreshed and rejuvenated, drive directly to Mandalay, the second biggest city in Myanmar.
Why Mandalay and not the more famous Yangon, formerly known as Rangoon? Well because the former capital Yangon is too damn close to the Thai border. From there it would be quite hard to resist the temptation to go to Thailand, book a sleazy motel room in Bangkok or Pattaya and never feel like leaving the country again. Hellooo, your aim is to reach Lengpui Airport as quick as possible, not to boom boom at some ping pong bars with hotties you're not sure their gender is.
From Mandalay, drive all the way to Hong Kong.
Don't ever get into an argument with the locals or tourists about whether Hong Kong citizens or Mainland citizens are better. If you happen to be caught in the middle of such a discussion, just politely tell them you don't speak Cantonese or Mandarin, which you most probably don't anyway. And then run like hell to the airport and take a flight to Los Angeles.
From here, things are a little bit easier. You can fly all the way to New York from LA, just make sure you don't take a United flight if you don't want to be politely bumped off the plane, and keep a look out for passengers trying to join the Mile High club, incidents like that are quite frequent these days.
You can also drive all the way to New York…
Or take the train…
Hell you can even walk all the way to New York from LA.
I mean, they have the greatest airlines, the greatest roadways, the greatest rail tracks, the transport sector is YUGE, they have the best people with the best words travelling by air, road and railways, and yet some people are walking? Sad. Must be fake news.
Once in New York, grab a quick cup of covfefe and a flight ticket to Heathrow on the other side of the pond. American politics is too confusing right now so it's best to leave as fast as possible.
At Heathrow, convince the confused officials that you are an Indian citizen. Take a direct flight to Delhi. At Delhi, convince the confused officials that you are an Indian citizen.
From Delhi, it's just a matter of hours to fly to Imphal via Guwahati via Kolkata.
From Imphal, go by road and at Silchar, don't take the NH-306 (formerly known as NH-54) because that will take you through Vairengte and Kolasib, hence leading you to the same blocked road near Lengpui again, making your whole process of travelling around the globe futile. Instead, continue taking the NH-37 till you reach Tripura, and from there take the NH-108 and enter Mizoram at Kanhmun.
After that it is a straight drive and you'll finally reach Lengpui Airport. In case you haven't missed your flight yet, you can now travel peacefully to Kolkata or any other destination at your own sweet leisure.
Hope this guide was helpful. Feel free to leave your comments.
Ps. In case you are still reading, this post was written in jest, but the situation back home is indeed grim. My friend Tanushree Hazarika along with her organization Eclectic Magazine have started a Ketto Fundraiser for the victims of flood in Mizoram. This is a link to their fund page, kindly do visit and donate whatever you can, as our small state is usually ignored by the central government and mainstream media, so you, my dear friend, is our last hope and you'll play a huge role in rebuilding the lives and broken dreams of people in Mizoram. I too have donated a small amount and I hope to see your name in the list of donors :) Hugs.