Life is tough when you're a single dad in your mid 40's with 5 kids.
Five rumbustious kids, all males, running everywhere in the house and destroying anything in their path. Life is a whirlwind of chaos and turmoil, especially when there is no better-half around to help you manage the circus show.
The first thing I must remember when I wake up every morning is whether there is leftover food for them to eat or if I have to cook from scratch. If it's just warming up leftovers, then I can relax a bit, one of those rare breathers. If it's cooking, then I have to cook immediately before I even do my basics like brushing my teeth because the food has to cool down before breakfast time.
And they are such spoilt brats. Any food that is a little over 2 days old, they won't eat! My dad, rest in peace his soul, would have whooped my ass if I refused such food. But of course, I can't whack my kids because woke culture says it is wrong.
I really hate woke culture. How many times my kids woke me up in the middle of the night! So frustrating! Screw you, woke culture. Stop this culture of waking up your parents. Let me sleep, dammit!
Anyhoo, that cycle of cooking repeats in the evening again, after a day spent trying to spare at least 5-10 minutes every hour playing with them from my busy work schedule. After all, I definitely don't want any of them getting inspired by the song "Cats In The Cradle", if you know what I mean.
As dinner time approaches, I have to make sure I cook everything just the way they like it again, or else, tantrums.
But you know what?
Watching them munch away the food I toiled so hard with my bare hands and complained so much about, is all replaced by a sense of fulfilment and joy. For in the act of nourishing their bodies, I am nourished by the light in their eyes, the warmth of their smiles. The hours spent labouring in the kitchen, the weariness that clings to my bones, it is all but a fleeting price to pay for the immeasurable reward of their happiness.
All single dads out there will know how this feels.
Everything. Is. Worth. It.
In the midst of all this, I no longer have the energy to cook my own food. Sometimes I order from nearby Sihphir town, and sometimes I starve. That is the sacrifice we parents make for our beloved children because they mean the world to us.
And in the night, as I gently tuck them all to sleep, one by one, this is perhaps the only time they are obedient, lolz. As I sit in front of my PC trying to wrap up a few deadlines (deadlines I must meet so that I can continue feeding them), I glance at the peaceful embrace of their slumber, like wisps of moonlight, their breaths come soft and rhythmic, harmonizing with the silent cadence of the night.
I sometimes think, do they ever dream, "Daddy is still working" or "Daddy must make ends meet to give us a happier tomorrow"? Perhaps they do. Or at least they do that in my imagination.
As I switch off the lights to call it a night and make sure I have kept all leftovers in the fridge, I tuck in beside my eldest, because he's the only one who sleeps in the same bed with me. The rest have their own beds.
I know that tomorrow the whole cycle will repeat again. In addition to that, the number of times I have to clean their poop or give them a bath they hate will only make my daily routine harder. But as I said, it is worth it.
Being a single dad to five kids is tough, but the emotional benefits you get are truly rewarding. Cheers to all the single dads out there.
Ending this post with a photo of my five adorable kids sleeping peacefully.
