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Sunday, May 14, 2006

Chp 67. UPSC

Wrote my UPSC Pre-lims exam today.

“Wrote” would be overstating it. Actually I slept through-out my UPSC exams. Why? Because I bloody stayed awake the whole of last night. Everytime I close my eyes, she is there. No matter how hard I try to replace her smile, she just keeps popping back. I tossed and turned from 11pm to 7am this morning. Gawdddd….

So I said screw it, got up from bed, took a long cold shower, and went to my exam centre directly. Just 9 out of 25 candidates turned up at my allotted exam-room. Morning paper – Economics. Everytime I came across the terms elasticity, demand and supply curve, price discrimination, marginal rate of substitution etc, pictures of my Eco Prof (Prof. Aapte, IIMB Director) flashed through my head. Oooooooh scary thought! Brrrr… But slowly… before I knew it… bang!!! my head crashed on the table… sleep! Much deprived sleep. Coming back to me now. It felt like a huge chaotic Mongolian horde invasion that I could not hold back. Everything around me slowly started becoming more and more blurry. I started seeing two pencils in my hand… three… four… blank. As if an over-dose of sedatives had been pumped right up my ass. My answer sheet slowly started fading away… no matter how hard I pinched myself or slapped my face, the urge to sleep completely overwhelmed me. Somehow managed to answer a few questions here and there…

Lunch break – 3 hours. Went directly to my fren Thaarie’s place. Her house was the closest from my exam centre. Dozed off to sleep immediately on her couch. Later she woke me up after 2 hours and made this really nice lunch for me, really sweet of her. After lunch, I went back to my exam centre immediately.

Afternoon paper – General Studies. I was still falling off to sleep, but then I was awake for a much longer period than during the morning’s session. Managed to answer more questions too. After the exam, 3 guys came up to me and ask some doubts from the question paper, whether the Archaelogical Monument found in Manipur is Bishnupur or Sisupalgarh, another 3 asked me if the handicraft of Nagaland is “Mon” or “Pasigat” while another guy asked me what is the total area of Sikkim. Aaaaargh. Why why why. Just because I look like these people, doesn’t mean I know everything about them. I am from Mizoram but have been in South India all my life. geeez I face this everyday… I usually could handle it, but with all the stress and despair I was going through today, I just felt like grabbing a bazooka and shooting everything on sight.

So that’s it. Me and UPSC. Something that I will never do again. A sheer waste of time and money. Gonna give management one more shot.