Friday, September 22, 2006

Chp 93. I'm horny, you're horny

I’ve just saw NDTV’s investigation on Mumbai’s dance bars yesterday. The clandestine video recordings definitely put a severe dent on the dance bar owners’ credibility when they claimed that these dance bars were just a place of employment for women and that there was nothing illegal or immoral in what they do. Two serious causes of concern, Prostitution rackets and Police corruption, once again resurfaced.

I’m not saying these two had never been around before. Corruption is more or less the oldest practice in the World and Prostitution is labeled as the oldest profession (Unless ofcourse you firmly believe in the Creation, which in that case would make “Animal naming” or “Apple picking” as the oldest profession. God only knows (pun not intended!) what Adam was doing all alone before Eve came along ).

Can prostitution ever be clamped down completely or legalized in India? Ofcourse if I ever suggest that Prostitution should be legalized in India, I would be lynched and my blog probably tagged as “unpatriotic”. However we stand at a crossroad where prostitution in India is neither legal nor illegal. SITA (Suppression of Immoral Traffic Act, 1956) now known as PITA (Prevention of Immoral Traffic Act, 1986) doesn’t say Prostitution is a crime but forbids Prostitutes from practicing their trade within 200 yards of a "public place" or a "notified area". Very obscure law indeed. One might call this DITA (Disarray over Immoral Traffic Act, 2006)

Do you know that prostitutes in India cannot be charged with “prostitution” since it is not a crime? Hence, they get booked with vague charges like "public indecency" or being a "public nuisance" . And meanwhile, as some sections of the society protest against the flesh trade, a large majority of people from the same society are responsible for enabling this industry to flourish. It takes two to tango dude.

Face it, we are all a horny lot. No matter how much we campaign against such an immoral activity and brand it as something against our “culture”, deep down within most of us men are bubbling-hormones raging ferociously like a wild hungry tempestuous Sea devouring a lone ship on a dark and stormy night. The roar from such depths is thunderous and deafening. Be it sea or Psyche. If only it could be heard by people around us.

I still remember one joke I really love: A survey was conducted on what men do as soon as they have sex. 10% said they pee, another 10% said they smoke, while the remaining 80% said they go home.

Guys, there is nothing wrong in being horny. It is a part of our core objective as a species . Even the former most Powerful man on this Planet was caught taking out his cigar from his cigar-case . Horniness knows no distinction. It cuts across all class, sex, race, religion, creed, culture, tradition, you name it. When couples do it, atleast one of them is horny. Otherwise how can you explain the population explosion? I don’t think guys who don’t feel like doing “it”, would/could do “it”. If so, then I find that “hard” to believe .

We guys have a gift. We can automatically “turn it on” anytime we want like a switch, while women have to be “turned on”, like slowly cooking rice or potato in a pressure cooker waiting for what seems like eternity for it to start hisssssssing. God must have found this unfair so He gifted women with multiple-O. And the debate on who got the better off these two deals still continue even today .

I used to have my own little theory on why most of us are “horny”. I was brought up in South India. Went to School and College there. Since boys and girls weren’t allowed to talk to each other and dating was considered a taboo, I thought maybe the sudden exposure to women later on in life brought out all those bottled-up feelings. Naah! That was not the reason. Other Indians from a liberal background like the Northeast or from Metro cities around the Nation are as horny as those from a conservative background. A survey result shows 67% of High School students in America have sex. My friend S said most teenagers in America and other people here in India have sex at an early age because of curiosity rather than, to put it bluntly as I had put it, horniness. I argued that curiosity and horniness cannot be two different criteria because one can be curious and horny at the same time.

Infact you can mix horny with any emotion or state of being. You can be intelligent and horny. You can be dumb and horny. You can be drunk and horny. You can be sober and horny. You can be lonely and horny. You can have company and be horny at the same time. You can own a cycle and be horny, or own a Private Jet and be horny. You can even be horny and horny! (Dunno what’s that like, although I can pretty much imagine… )

Look at India. Even though this trend hasn’t caught on, there are many young women and men out there who have a “fuck buddy”. Yeah, it’s called FB. An FB is usually a friend or a colleague that you trust but aren’t romantically involved with. It’s something like a sexual fling, except that it’s more personal. You wouldn’t have read about FBs in your cosmo or other girlie mags, or read articles about it in prominent news websites. But it is very much in practice, especially among the urban College going youth of today. No Indian women or men of a sane mind are going to come forward openly and say “Yeah, I have a fuck buddy” . I guess we can say FB is the complete opposite of a platonic love affair. I know people who started out as FBs but are now in a committed relationship. Similarly, I know people who insist that their FBs should be faithful to them, while others don’t mind having multiple FBs. I guess this brings us to a debatable question. What is the difference between a sexual attraction and a “normal” physical attraction? Or are all physical attractions sexually oriented, even though we may not know it intrinsically?

I am not here to judge anyone based on what they do on their beds (or on the kitchen table), but one thing is for certain, there are more negative consequences to being sexually active than the positive ones.

Be it prostitution or FBs, one negative consequence is ofcourse the spread of AIDS and other STDs. Then there is the alarming increase in number of rape cases and other sexually oriented crimes. Not to forget those sick demented paedophiles. And then there are the various distractions you experience making it difficult for you to concentrate on your work. Breaking marital vows is another serious consequence: dude, you’re breaking up a loving family just because your wife ain’t around? My advice: Grab a magazine and run to the loo. Lecherous roadside romeos and irritating eve-teasers are another set of people suffering from HO (Horniness Overdose).

Being horny itself is not bad or evil, as long as you don’t let it get out of control. Be the master of yourself. Control the snake. Don’t let the snake control you!

You’re horny, I’m horny, and we all live in a horny little World. Cheers!

35 comments:

benjamin rualthanzauva said...

WANTED: FB in Chennai. You can contact me via Kima :-)

FB sounds the most interesting part in this post. I have been to strip bar in California. The place is called California girls. Topless girls dancing like the ones you see in movies.

Naked hot babes. Naked except for their panties. Private dance for you @ 10 bucks. Sit in the front you need to throw dollars.

Mind you these places are pretty decent. You won't get in unless you show age proof. 21 and above. They might come close, drag you by the collar but you are not allowed to touch them.
A guy in wheel chair did that. Security came, tha disabled's friends came to his rescue. Result - all of them gets thrown out by gigantic security guys.

But when I look into their eyes, I didn't like it. I knew I was there only to make history for myself. Their eyes tell they were doing it only for the sake of money.

Bored. We moved out. We drunk, not drunk but excited enough to try FULL NUDE. So we went. Turns out too much just to enter. Only non-alcoholic drinks inside . They probably don't want to see men getting to wild in front of totally naked women. We decided it was worth it. So off we went to some bar neat South Coast Plaza where we had Long Island Ice tea, a couple of beers and hot wings.

My 1st time in a dance bar. I survived. Nothing happened to me.

S said...

First time I actualy came across somebody use the name FB on their blog! :-D Great post as usual Kim. clap clap!

illusionaire said...

Dear Ben, this post was about us normal horny people, not for over-horny people like you :-P

Interesting story there. And what may I ask, did you expect to happen to you in the end? Coz you clearly typed "My 1st time in a dance bar. I survived. Nothing happened to me." so I'm just curious as to what you were actually expecting from these strip clubs? :-D

@ S: lolz. I think FB hasn't caught on yet, but trust me, in another 5 years or so, everybody's gonna talk about an FB soon. Glad to be the pioneer. lolzzzz.

life10 said...

lolz sandman!! say it like it is!!! you really got an amazing flair for writing ..read ur other blogs too ...gr8 work!!!

benjamin rualthanzauva said...

life10.... I am gonna publish his blog and make a great deal of money. I bought the copyright for a bottle of Rum!!!!!!

illusionaire said...

lolz life10, thanx for our comments. And I could see your other comments on my yahoo mail, but I just don't know on which post of mine you wrote those comments. By the way, Ben, you cannot just buy my writings cheaply for just a bottle of Old Monk. It cost atleast TWO Old Monks. :-)

Almost Unreal said...

Interesting. I agree that prostitution should be legalised and that men should learn to control their snake :D

And dont be mad at me :P

Anonymous said...

me so horny..me so horny..me f#$%K long time...me so horny...

illusionaire said...

@ Almost unreal: What you posted at misual.com was unforgivable. You are soooooo dead my dear.

P said...

I didn't have the patience to read through it all. If this is your valiant yet lame attempt at conveying a message to some FB-want-to-be who reads your blog, job well done and for your sake I hope you strike gold ;)

Regarding 'I'm horny, you're horny, we're all horny' - dude! there are 'normal' ppl like me out there too! :)

How's things otherwise chinky! long time

illusionaire said...

Bastaaaaard! :) P for Paolo or P for Horn John? First identify urself dick :)

If its Paolo, when the fuck are u getting here? And if its Horn John, go jump off from the 2nd floor again :-D

illusionaire said...

@ P: Went thru ur blog dude. Got absolutely no clue who u are. Paolo or Johny? I'm trying to think how many other frens I have in the UK with the initial P.

P said...

Not Paolo or Horn John, its Paul!!! :)

I have no issues jumping off the second floor dude, but wait! before that should I attend a call from trichy ;)

Almost Unreal said...

I sure don't wanna die...I still love my life and I am too yourng to die :D

Anonymous said...

nice and true facts i can say.
but beware of STD's and AIDS.otherwise how can be india be the second largest population infected with the killer virus.

great work Kima.

illusionaire said...

@ P: Hahahahahaha HORN JOHN!!!!! How you been. I really couldn't make out who you are from your blog. All I found in your blog were technical crap :-P

I've written more than 90+ posts on my blog, and you never even left a comment once. And the moment I wrote about the subject Horny, viola there you are!!! You still havent changed have you, Horn John! :-))))))))

Whats at Trichy? Are you going to go there to collect your G-shock watch? *GRIN*

illusionaire said...

@ almost unreal: Posting incriminating pictures of somebody other than you is like writing a suicide note. I will never never never forget what you did to me. Jerusha didn't tell u how good I am with photoshop right? Just wait n watch.... *EVIL LAUGHTER*

@ anonymous: Thanx dude. Yup safe sex is the best. Do keep visiting, and there's no need for formalities n stuff. Don't be an anonymous, be a somebody! :-) Cheers mate.

P said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
P said...

How about me getting you some cuddly teddy bears? For nostalgia sake ;)

What are you upto chinky? Hear you are in Mumbai now. I'll be passing by on Christmas day, any chance of meeting you at the airport? I just have an hour between flights.

I was just reading through some of ur posts, man the BS that you put up, if ever there was an oscar/pulitzer on the most amount of BS to ever have come out of one individual ;)

illusionaire said...

BS my ass. I just sensationalized a bit here n there :-P

Dude, Christmas I will be in Mizoram. Till then I'll be here in Mumbai. You can't advance your schedule or something like that?

lolz @ the teddy. you know she's not planing to come back to India anymore. She fell in love with the US of A n prolly marry a tall gora dude there. hehehe. I forgot her blog add. damnnnnn....

P said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
P said...

Oops, posted and then realised you had replied, hence deleted. Not 'sensationalized', crapped is the word you are looking for! No, I never moved to Bahrain. I work in London, nitwit! Can't move my dates dude, maybe meet you on my way back? How does Jan 10th sound?

Yeah, I know she's not planning to come back! She's prolly fallen head over heels over some yank at Schlumberger or a even a German perhaps ;) I have her blog id, im posting it as the next comment. Delete the comment once you note it down.

Hows things there chinky?

P said...

lol - she's got a post on her recent visit to a gay pub. Dude i think we were wrong, looks like she's gone down the wrong road. Hehehe

P said...

http://pristhename.blogspot.com/

P said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Well, Kima, waiting for a new post from you is worth it...:)..

From bar girls to FB... interesting read and

yeah,legalisation would be a better option.

joy

Perspective Inc. said...

Cheers!

illusionaire said...

@ P: Horn John bastard, why do you have to junk up my comment box? You could have said all that in one comment and not five. :P 10th Jan seem fine. I might be back from Mizoram by then. Hehe lemme go and check out her post. If there was anyone to write about things related to gay, I thought that would be you. I never expected her to be the first one :-P

@ Joy: Thanx dear. You're always welcome anytime you know that.

@ Pers Inc: Cheers to horniness to you too dear ;)

MockingBird said...

You’re horny, I’m horny, and we all live in a horny little World
WORD! ;)

No Hidden Depths said...

Adjective: horny [hornier, horniest]
Pronounced as hornee
[vulgar] Feeling great sexual desire
Brother, you're running out of ideas these days... :D

illusionaire said...

@ mocking: yeah we do. and we better make the best use of it, what say? *UGLY GRIN*

@ no hidden: haha. this is better than you past few single line posts on your blog. bleh!

The Last Templar said...

Hey Kima, you horny ###. Still remember someone who would sleep on the upper berth of a train all the way from Chennai to Kolkata reading porn, getting up once or twice not for food or toilet but to look for more stuffs. Way to Go!

illusionaire said...

Haha Last Templar. Finally I am getting more clues about who you are. Lemme guess, you have to be one of the Mizos studying at Montfort coz none of my non-Mizo frens know about what you just mentioned. And knowing my Mizo batchmates, I definitely know its not them. So its got to be my Mizo seniors. And my one and only is guess is Robert! i ni em lal Robaaart?

Sundancer said...

Kim - awesome post, awesome read! You're the man, we love you! (Now let's forget all that photoshop talk shall we? Inngeih dial dial hian awm ila, a few less horny people in the world ni mai! :D)

virgochhas said...

so we all are horny....

horny lot we are....

:D