Chp 51. The Return of the Kim

Sup everyone. Am finally back on the Blog World. Really feels good to blog again after such a long time. It’s like that feeling you get when you’re a passionate guitarist who gets the feel of a guitar after a really long time because he broke his hand. Man, the vibe. You feeling me? Worddd.

So what have I been up to? Well, I dropped out of IIMB, went home for X’mas n New Year after a gap of ten freaking years, caught up with all my frens back home, met my sister from UK after such a long time, spent some quality time with my 9 years old niece and made my 3 years old niece cry all the time (evil me), and met Evelyn’s folks. Yeah they kinda like me.

Went home and mom immediately nagged me on how big a failure I was and how much money they wasted on me. T’was a very happy family reunion indeed. *smiley* Dad ofcourse wasn’t so hard on me. Mazami too had changed a lot. She’s much more responsible and matured now (not that she wasn’t before). Maybe it’s the fact that she’s earning now n not depending on dad anymore. Lapuii (my eldest sis) on the other hand was still the same. Dinpuii didn’t make it home coz she didn’t have vacations.

Mizoram, ah, the sheer beauty of it. Idyllic sunsets, romantic getaways, serene atmosphere. There truly is no place like home.

Many a times, when people I haven’t seen in a long time (especially the older folks) see me, they exclaim “Oh my God, look how fast he’s grown, it seems like just yesterday when he was a mere baby”. Well, I’ve always thought this was the standard way of greeting somebody you haven’t seen in ages. But when I went home this year, I realized what they said actually made sense. My two lovely nieces. Oh my God, how fast they’ve grown. They walk, frighteningly smart, and are growing bigger n bigger while I seem to be stuck in oblivion.

Strange how kids grow so fast while adulthood seem to last forever. Made me realize, after all this I’m gonna become an old grumpy grandpa that people will show concern only out of pity. Damn, this sux.

Anyway, I had an amazing time back in Mizoram. We had our usual traditional X’mas n NY feast, and ofcourse the regular “getting drunk on local booze”, which gave me the meanest hangover I’ve ever come across. A full bottle of McDowell’s was selling at a price not lower than 800 bucks! What a freaking rip-off, but what can we do. The local booze sux, but beggars cannot be choosers.

And then ofcourse there was the usual “Buh zu” (Rice wine) and “grepe waine” (grape wine). If cottage industry was to be promoted full-scale, I’d say Mizoram wins hands down on fermentation! *GRIN*

Anyway, from now onwards this blog of mine will be updated regularly. Just like two years ago back in Hyderabad, here I am, living all alone. Me, a complete bachelor, once again. But the difference between now and Hyderabad was, when I was in Hyderabad, I was completely miserable from breaking up with my girlfren, whereas now, I am miserably deep in love with the greatest person on Earth. Two miseries, completely opposite to each other.

Chp 50. Of older women n younger guys

It took me quite a while to come out with an opening line for this particular post. I thought of “Why do older women find us younger guys so cute, adorable and irresistible?” But then I’m not that young anymore, and not that cute too

Through out the ages, the male species have always had this strange unexplainable fascination towards the older female species. The laws of attraction proscribed such a relationship stating that a man reaches his peak of sexuality at the age of 45’ish while the female species reach that around 35. Hence a gap of 10 years has always been commended. Yet, the male species is always attracted towards the older female counterpart. Why?

I’ve always been curious with this strange phenomenon but it has never really bothered me enough to rehash this matter in-depth, until tonight when a very close friend of mine called up and told me he has completely fallen heads over heels with this new woman in his life. She is 21 years older than him, a widow with three kids, two 16 and 18 years old sons and a 21 years old daughter. And he’s only just 25!

He called me up because he considered me to be a “man of expertise”! LoLzzz. Anyway, at first I was completely amused at the whole situation. A 25 years old and a 46 years old? But then, it dawned to me, I know so many of my really close friends who are very serious with their girl-friends who are much older than they are.

My friend told me it’s the best sex he ever had. Now that is not something new. When guys talk and the topic shift to older women, one of the crude jokes they, I mean, we, usually make is that, older women are more experienced in bed. But from experiences that many of my friends had, it’s not just the sex. There is this very mysterious attraction that pulls young men towards them. Sex is sex. Unless there is a deep mutual emotional understanding and attraction between the couple, it’s all the same. Then what is it that makes man so satisfied with the sexual relationship he just had with an older woman?

Spoke to another very close friend of mine who is like one of my sister’s best friend. She’s 37, currently seeing somebody who’s 26 (just a freaking year older than me). My apologies for waking her up at 4 in the morning just to ask her this question. But then, I was a bit tipsy and curious as Hell.

Why do older women fall for younger guys? Because it makes them feel younger and rejuvenates them. It brings out the fire they once thought was extinct a long time ago. Younger men who really care about them don’t care about the stretch marks on their belly or the extra fat accumulating on their forearms or the wrinkles appearing on their forehead amidst the gray hair. To most women, age is a sacrilege word. Tell them they are getting older and they come flying towards you with sharp finger-nails ready to dig deep within your flesh.

But why do younger men fall for older women? I guess it’s because many of us needs to be pampered, just like how our dear mums or elder sisters do. Through-out time, we’ve grown fonder with the affection shown unto us by older women. Sub-consciously, it registers deep inside our twisted minds and triggers the release of unprecedented pheromones.

The laws of attraction somehow makes man feel safer with an older woman. Just like his elder sisters or cousins who are always there to look-out for him, he has some sort of a complete trust in an older woman. We’ve always been hyped as the superior sex. But those of us who had been brought up with somebody always looking after us (this is in particular, very common in our Indian society) and especially those of us who are the youngest with elder siblings always watching our back, it is not surprising at all to fall for a girl older than us.

Girls mature faster than boys. That’s the Universal truth. Yet I’ve come across so many of my friends in a serious relationship with women much older than they are. What do they all see in them? I guess it brings about a certain level of comfortness. Older women don’t usually play around with their emotions as most younger lasses do. Older women know they’ve lived the prime of their life already and are now looking for a nice quiet settlement. Touché.

Another wild assumption. When a younger guy manages to “bag” an older woman, guess it brings about a great sense of achievement. Fills his head with new found ego, maybe. Accomplishment at its highest peak.

Anyway, I may be wrong on a few grounds here, but the writing on the wall is simple. Younger men always have a thing for older women. This is probably one of the reasons why the “MILF” series of “mature porn” is doing so well in the sex and sleaze market.

I will never forget what one of my closest frens from Hyderabad told me two years ago. We used to take her trip as to why she never sees anyone of our own age group and why all her “guys” are just high school and college kids. She told us directly “What younger guys lack in experience, they make up for it in passion”. Hmmm… must be true I guess.

I hope this post of mine has nothing to do with the fact that my girl-friend, the love of my life, is 10 days older than me. I love her truly, madly, deeply, not because of her age but because of the way I feel whenever I talk to her and hear her sweet sweet voice… May our love grow deeper and stronger with each and every passing day. Amen.

Chp 49. Tuscan Verve

After the name “Taika” hit the streets of Bangalore a couple of months back, the latest word on the street seems to be “Tuscan Verve” (actually not that latest, more like 2 months old, but its undergoing a change every now n then).

Tuscan Verve, a new lounge pub in our city, seems to be making a lot of waves among the hiphop Gen-X. Downright chillax in nature, it has the complete ingredients of a typical Lounge Bar. What hit me when I first entered the place was the settings and ambience. Déjà vu of good old Hyderabad when the Lounge fever first hit the city two years ago. Infact a regular “lounger” from H’bad might mistake the place for “Touch” (Ironically, we had our IIM-B fresher’s Meet dinner at the restaurant attached to “Touch”)

Dim neon rays, no disco lights and lotsa extravagant sofas (as compared to an average Pub). But that particular night was Tuesday night, christened “Hiphop Night”. Rihanna’s “Pon de Replay” and Pussycats’ “Don’t cha” seem to fill the air as young homies and biyatches of all ages bounced their bootie from east coast to the west.

Really enjoyed that night, although it felt a bit weird to “yo wazzaa” in that setting. I did feel something was definitely out of place with all that arrangement and especially with the music blasting and shaking the very floor you are walking on with thundering woofers. Very “un-loungely”. But then, once the alcohol slowly sets in, one slowly fused with the system. No draught beer, just pint. Each pint costing the usual 100 bucks. And à la Sparx, girls free entry ofcourse, and guys gotta shell out 300 bucks with 200 cover. Unless ofcourse if one is a regular, but then that’s an urban legend with a deep conspiracy theory of its own….

Hiphop night was covered by DJ Ivan, the same dude who used to DJ at Club-X. Apart from that, they had a very impressive line up of other DJs for every other night like DJ Nash, DJ Wayne, DJ DeeJ etc. Each night has its own theme ofcourse.

But just as there is a silver lining on every cloud, there is also a “Yang” to counter the “Yin” so that good and evil will always be balanced. Negative markings will definitely go to the dance-floor. Tightly packed, it may seem like just another attached dance floor. But once you’re in there, believe me, its nothing like those packed times we used to have at most of the regular Pubs with attached boogie floors. The dance floor is open to one and all. Meaning, there are more guys than the opposite sex in there. Club-X on Sat nites or Sparx on Thu nites used to be packed, but at least the bouncers let “couples only” inside the dance floor. That was fun.

In Tuscan Verve, sofas encircled the dance floor. That was quite reasonable as people can relax and look at the people dancing or sit with somebody special amidst all the hoola-hoo or simply catch their breath, but then, along with the sofas, there were tables present, where people could leave their glasses n stuff, hence making the total area of comfortable “danceable” space much smaller.

And here’s the worst thing about the dance floor. With a place as tightly packed as that night, it kinda gets a bit irritating with people coming past you now and then while you’re dancing. But then, that happens at every disc, so it’s something one has to live with. After all, when you are entering the dance floor for the first time before you finally find your “spot”, do remember that you are brushing past many other people who are already there. But that place Tuscan Verve was different. Its not just people brushing past you every damn second, but waiters. Lots and lots of waiters. With trays. Serving those people who are sitting on the sofas encircling the dance-floor. That was so irritating! I did not enjoy dancing at all that night. Very bad management indeed. I could see a lot of other people around me too who were completely irritated with this.

But apart from that, everything was great I guess. The management staff showed great PR during the entire event and socialized with everybody. Most of them were from Club-X. Met a lot of people I know and it was fun that way. Saw a lot of familiar faces too, people I’ve always seen at these kinda places but hasn’t actually spoken to. The party ended around 11:30. By 12, the street was empty, once again reminding Bangalore about the cruel talibanization decree declared by the Police.

Chp 48. X'mas in Aizawl

This year there will be no decorating the Christmas tree with friends in my room. There will be no singing of Christmas carols with people I treasure and getting drunk with them. There will be no treating of special Christmas dinner at some fancy richly decorated with mistletoes and Christmas stars restaurant in Bangalore, Hyderabad or Coimbatore. And there will be no singing of my favourite sad sad Christmas song by Mud “Lonely this Chistmas” anymore.

Try to imagine a house that’s not a home.
Try to imagine a Christmas all alone.
That’s where I’ll be, since you left me.
My tears could melt the snow.
What can I do without you
I’ve got no place, no place to go

Chorus:
It’ll be lonely this Christmas, without you to hold
It’ll be lonely this Christmas, lonely and cold.
It’ll be cold so cold without you to hold, this Christmas

Such a lovely song, nearly brings me to tears every Christmas. This Christmas is going to be different, for I am finally going home after 10 years for Christmas!!!! The last time I ever went home was after my 9th standard. After that I never saw Christmas in Mizoram again. Gawddd… I am so looking forward to spending Xmas with my family and dressing up in new suits and going to church and wishing everybody a merry merry Christmas. Also really looking forward to decorating the sitting room with Christmas papers and tying strings from one end of the room to the other so that we can display the Xmas cards we received. And me and my sisters always used to fight over the best places on the strings coz we each want our cards to be the most prominent on display. Sigh*

Unfortunately my sister from Mumbai wont be coming home, as she doesn’t have leave. But my sis from UK who I haven’t seen ever since she went there, will be flying home. I think its been more than 5 years since I last saw her! I might not even recognize her. He he he he. My eldest sis will also be there, the rebel. And then my nephew and nieces totting around in the house, and all my numerous cousins and uncles n aunts. And then there are my friends from my locality who I grew up with (not exactly grew up with, but still, they were the only mizo friends I had back then, whenever I go back home for the vacations). And most important of all, there’s my loving dad and mom. I still remember those days when I thought there really was a Santa Claus and dad used to put gifts on our traditional “thlangdar” and “em” (made of bamboo twines used for cleaning rice and carrying firewood) which me and my sisters used to line up in the kitchen next to the chimney. My “thlangdar” always used to be the closest to the chimney.

And I will be meeting Eve’s family. I’ve never ever talked about my girlfrens with my parents before and this is the first time. It feels so good to share it with my parents about my love interest. Am confident they will welcome her, but am kinda tensed her folks won’t like me. After all, a person with a past such as mine isn’t exactly the most eligible bachelor in Mizoram. But as Doug Robb from Hoobastank crooned in that song “The reason”, “I’m not a perfect person, there’s many things I wish I didn’t do… I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new, and the reason is you.” I have changed a lot ever since I got back from Delhi, changed not just because I wanted to be a better man for her, but also because I simply had no interest to revert back to my old life.

It is definitely going to be one exciting Christmas. This Christmas is not only going to be a celebration of the birth of our Lord n Saviour Jesus Christ, but also a celebration of the birth of a new Kima. Amen.

Chp 47. Enter Eve

“25 years and my life is still
trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination.”

Ah. It’s as if the 4 non blondes sang that song specially dedicated to me. I’m 25 now. With an unsure destination.

Why have I been so silent these past few months you might wonder. Well, the reason is, I fell in love! Fell in love with the perfect woman in whose eyes I see the future of my unborn children’s happiness. She’s nothing like I’ve ever come across. Everything about her is so perfect.

We met at www.izawl.com during my summer internship. It started off first as casual mails. We discussed about the mizo way of life and Christianity. She understood the reason why I hardly mix with other mizos. We were still anonymous then. I was “Sandman” and she was “butterfly5”. I would ask her doubts and reasons on God and Christianity and she would give me answers that completely satisfy my queries. Finally around May, she gave me her phone number. And believe me, I’ve never enjoyed talking to anybody as much as I do with her. No flirting, no casual sex talks, just plain conversation. Topic ranging from anything to anything. Gawd how I love listening to her voice, her cute English accent (She was in UK working as a volunteer dealing with de-addiction and other missionary work).

Even after I got back here, we talk almost every nite. My phone bills would sky rocket high, yet here I am, truly happy to find someone I really enjoy talking with. Told my closest frens Amol, Amra, Monu, Tommy and Ankita about her. I was basically on the phone with her nearly everyday. And I’ve never seen how she looks like. Finally on 19th July 2005 she mailed me her snaps. Oh she was so so pretty! I just couldn’t believe this was the girl I’ve been talking to for the past four months.

Told my sis in UK about her coz they met each other when she was in UK a couple of years ago. My sis is a PhD in psychology (University of Lancashire) and she advised me that even though I really enjoy talking to her, I must not rush it coz things are different when one speaks face to face. And she was a bit surprised too coz we were poles apart in our interest. I party a lot, she doesn’t. She’s deeply religious, I am just a Christian for namesake. But it’s only after talking to her that I realized I am meant to take the same path that she did but somewhere along the line I got diverted.

Many a times, my best fren Amol would tell me to fly to Delhi and meet her. Yet, deep inside I was scared. Not just scared but was also confused. I was pretty much enjoying the life that I was leading… was I willing to throw all that away? But it’s only when I went to Delhi that I realized what lied in store for me. Suddenly, all these partying n binge drinking made no sense. Everything became so empty. She was like that missing piece of puzzle in a jigsaw game of my life. Without that piece, you can still make out what the picture in the puzzle is all about and enjoy admiring the picture, but still, something is not just complete and that nags you at the back of your head day in and day out, until that missing piece of puzzle is found.

With love, one suddenly becomes scared of dying. Never in my life had I been so scared to fly (Delhi-Bangalore). And you have no idea how scared I was when I heard she went to Kashmir for two weeks!!! She had to go to Kashmir coz she’s working at EFICOR, a Christian NGO, which was dealing with the relief work at the earthquake affected areas in Kashmir. Everyday we spoke on the phone for hours, and there were three cases of terrorist bombings and shoot-outs during her stay there. I prayed to Almighty Lord to keep her safe, and He answered my prayers. Now she is safely back in Delhi.

Adam found his first true love in Eve. So did I. But then, I still have both my kidneys intact.

Chp 46. YMA: Young Mizo Association

Recently I have been very busy. Was taking part in this debate at zoram.com which is an interactive forum for mizos living all over the world to discuss about the latest situations concerning mizos.

One of the most hotly debated topics is about the YMA. YMA is an acronymn for the Young Mizo Association, a so called NGO whose members comprises of more or less every mizo youth. For those people who are not interested in knowing about the culture and latest news from one of the North eastern states, this would be the right time to stop reading as you might find this boring. This post is for those individuals who are interested in knowing what is going on in that part of the country.

For those of you interested, let me start by saying what the YMA is all about. The YMA, as I have mentioned before, is an NGO. They help the society by doing charity work, like conducting funerals, helping families who are victims of natural calamities like landslides, fire etc. All these are based on a term every mizo is proud to represent, a term called “tlawmngaihna”, where every mizo look out for each other. A mizo is always expected to help out another mizo. We treat guests with the highest priority and honor in our culture.

But recently, the YMA have come under much criticism. They have started taking the law into their own hands, especially after they started their drive against drugs and alcohol. They beat up anybody who is dealing with these so called evils of society, and this year alone, lynched 4 people to death. Many of us have loudly raised our voice, but the situation does not seem to change at all. People accuse them of “talibanizing” the State of Mizoram and even call them “Youth Murderer Agency”. We mizos are proud to tell the rest of India that we are the only State in the north-east that does not have any terrorist or separatist problems. Yet here we are, victims of our own endeavor. The YMA has even forced the head of the Human Rights Commission in Mizoram to leave her home in Mizoram because she protested against the Human Rights violation by the YMA. David M. Thangliana, editor of Newslink (the most prominent news portal for mizos on the net) even resigned from the Central YMA's literature sub-committee as a mark of protest, drawing applause from individuals of all walks of life. Many of the people have asked for a consensus on whether the YMA should be granted a God-like status or not. Some even believe the YMA should be disbanded as it is not a part of our culture. Given below is one article I have posted in zoram.com regarding the relationship between “tlawmngaihna” and YMA.

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Quote Jewelle: "Sandman, when you say "inside" I hope to God you don't mean to imply that you Mizos living outside Mizoram are outsiders."

Now now, my dear Jewelle, you're blowing this WAY out of proportion. Do read my post again. What I meant to imply is the fact that this struggle against human rights violation would be more effective if the battle takes place right at the backyard rather than hundreds of miles away. One has to be “in” the system to fight it, not miles away. Look at Aung-Sang-Suu-Ki for example.

As I have stated many times before, I still believe in the YMA. It’s just their ways and policies that must be corrected and if necessary, the Organization must undergo a complete change. If this statement is going to incite a debate from our esteemed members who believe the entire YMA should go, then I humbly rest my case for we have had more than enough discussions regarding this. Is YMA a part or not a part of our mizo culture is a hotly debated topic, and I intend not to go down that road again.

Let us just assume for a brief moment that, this actually does happen, that there is no more YMA. The entire organization has been disbanded. The offices burnt, the flags buried, the members scattered everywhere, and the new emerging society making it taboo to utter the Y-word in public.

Can you imagine a Mizoram like that? With no YMA? Would feel be a bit weird huh? Anyway, the point I'm trying to make does not end here.

So now, there is no more YMA. And very soon, as one of our members Zoliani has said, "tlawmngaihna" creeps in, even though there are no YMA around. After all, it’s a part of our culture rite? Opponents of YMA - 1, Proponents of YMA - 0.

This is only the short-run picture. What exactly happens during this era is as follows. Please bear with me as this might be a bit long. Am just introducing an imaginary "veng" (area) and fictitious characters to make this as interesting as possible.

Scenario 1:

Location: Tualveng.
Pu Tawna, a retired Govt employee, has just passed away. He was a popular figure within his veng, being born and brought up there. When it comes to organizing the funeral, digging the grave etc, Pu Tawna’s neighbour’s son, Jimmy decided to step in. Jimmy is a young athletic bachelor of 23 years. He called up his friends and asked them to help him. Within a few hours, Jimmy and his friends have dugged the grave for the late Pu Tawna, raised tarpaulin sheets around the house of Pu Tawna to protect the mourners from rain or sun, collected enough benches from various houses in Tualveng for the people to sit, even organized the zual-ko (informing everybody details about the diseased). Jimmy’s girl-friend Hma-i called up her friends and they made tea the whole day at the house of the dearly departed. At the end of the day, Jimmy and his friends did an excellent work and people praised their unselfish dedication. The local newspaper described him and his friends as tlangval/nula chhuanawm (praise-worthy). Isn’t this what “tlawmngaihna” is all about in our culture?

Scenario 2:

Soon word spread about this, and whenever there was a funeral or a disaster like landslide, Jimmy and his friends were the first one to reach there and help. They became the topic of petty conversations during family dinner and office breaks. The mothers would say “Jimmy a kha chu a ti tha khawp mai, a va han fel em em. Lal Hma-i te chu a luck khawp mai”. The fathers would say to their son “Mama, i u Jimmy a thil tih ang te hi ti ve ta che. In hmang deuh rawh tiang thil ah hian, nileng a internet i khawih ringawt te chuan i puitling lo ang”. Jimmy became some sort of a role model, somebody that everybody looks up to.

Scenario 3:

So far we have looked at “tlawmngaihna” at its best only in the short run. Now, ladies and gentlemen, let us proceed to the long run. We aren’t exactly there yet though. This is the intermediate phase.

Jimmy and his friends are now very popular. Many more young men and women started joining him, and his circle of friends grew tremendously. And somewhere else, in another “veng”, moved by Jimmy’s selfless act, other young people started making their own organization to help others. These groups grew in size as time progressed. And they even started linking up so that there would be synergy. They found it easier if they shared their resources, and it was making their work easier too. Soon they started coordinating and eventually in the end, all these groups of various “vengs” became one big organization. All these were formed due to Jimmy’s tlawmngaihna.

Scenario 4:

We are now in the long run. Jimmy is now the most talked about person in Mizoram. Every house-hold knows his name. And he was growing more and more powerful every passing day. People trust him completely. After all, he’s doing it out of his own volition and not getting paid for doing any of his good deed. He started enjoying a Godfather status. Whenever there is a burglary, people come to him instead of the police for they have more belief and faith in him. And then, he and his friends would set out hunting for the thief. They would use their own tactics and nobody would question them, after all, it is their trusted and loving dear Jimmy. Soon, Jimmy and his friends started introducing new laws to improve the life of the society, like banning of alcohol and drugs. The society welcomed this move with open hands; after all, it is their loving Jimmy once again. What he says must be in the best interest of the people. But Jimmy and his friends were getting frustrated with the fact that inspite of their selfless act, people are still not obeying the one simple favour they ask them to do: do not deal with drugs and alcohol. So they started beating up these “scums of society” who drink and dope. Beat them black and blue in order to pass a message to others. Sometimes, they even beat them to death. Jimmy and his friends feel this is necessary, and that they believe they do have the rights to do it, after all, they have done so much for the community as a whole.

Scenario 5:

Very slowly, as the number of deaths and house burnt increased in an alarming rate, some people started becoming uncomfortable. This is not the Jimmy they once knew. This is not the tlawmngaihna they once believed in. The number of dissident voices started growing with every new cases of torture and death. But Jimmy and his friends are too powerful now. The police are scared of them, the politicians are at their mercy. But as the number of protest started growing, questioning Jimmy’s method, Jimmy started becoming more and more unpopular. Slowly his friends stopped talking to him one by one, and most of them avoided him. Soon, it was just Jimmy, all alone. Even his girlfriend Hma-i left him, marrying another guy that nobody has heard of before. Jimmy was reduced from the all powerful to a mere vagabond, roaming the streets of Tualveng all by himself. People never mentioned his name anymore. Thus ended an era of Jimmy.

Scenario 6:

Location: Tlangveng
Pu Zara has just passed away, a victim of cardiac arrest. His family members are poor and they cannot even arrange a simple funeral service. Jimmy was not around anymore to organize this unfortunate event, so Pu Zara’s neighbour’s son, Michael, decided to step in. He called his friends up and within no time they dugged the grave, raised tarpaulins, made tea, collected benches…..

And history repeats all over again. Deja-vu?

People, I believe disbanding the YMA is not a feasible solution. Correcting it is. No matter what we do regarding the YMA, there will always be similar organization formed because of our commitment to “tlawmngaihna”. Frankly speaking, as of now, I do not know what suggestions I can give to let this happen. Maybe age and experience that is yet to come along my way will make me wiser, and perhaps then, I will be able to give more constructive ideas. As of now, we are just mere spectators living hundreds of miles away from Home. Dear Jewelle, I hope I made my point clear enough now that just because we live outside, we do not consider ourselves as “outsiders” and that we love our Home as much as you do. God bless Mizoram.

Chp 45. Friend "ship"

Semester vacation in progress. Leisure at its best. I can’t believe I haven’t blogged anything for more than a month!

The past one month has been very hectic and tiring for me, both physically and emotionally. Our end terms were coming up, and that means loads and loads of project reports, submissions and presentations. There wasn’t any time at all to mug for the end-terms. In addition to this, all my closest frens left for their exchange program, making my life even sadder.

Monu, Amra and Girish were the first to leave me. We dropped them at the airport late in the night even though I had a big ManComm submission the next day. I stayed up that whole night completing my assignment. Didn’t go to class the next morning and all the profs later wanted to meet me and know why I didn’t come to class. It sux being so obvious in class, even though I am the most silent one during class discussion. After that it was Shubha, and I had a test the next morning so I couldn’t see her off. Later Tommy was next and Amol n I dropped him at the airport. From then onwards, it was just Amol and me. Amol who was supposed to join his Copenhagen University a long time ago had some minor problems with his visa. But that didn’t last long, and on the eve of my exam week, Ankita and I went and dropped him. Man, it was a sad scene indeed which as a guy I wouldn’t wanna talk about in public.

Life really becomes one big vessel of emptiness without frens around. Even if you don’t hang out at places or have dinner together, the mere presence of frens by your side gives you a deep sense of togetherness. After I repeated my first year here, I thought things won’t be much different from last year. Oh how wrong I was. One semester has come and gone, and yet I hardly know my current batchmates. Last year, by this time, I was very close to many people already.

What constitutes friendship? What gives a person a membership rights to that exclusive circle of trust? (And why am I sounding like SJP? Guess I’ve been watching too many Sex and the City) Having common interests and similar wave-length are just a few of the factors that lay down the foundation for an ever-lasting friendship. What really brings about people close to each other is the number of times they end up hanging out with each other. Right from playing one quick game of pool together after dinner to designing birthday charts together, all these small small things add up to one huge bonding of mutual trust.

25 years of age now, I feel I am quite old enough to look back at life and analyze what brings people close to each other. The first thing people talk about their group is that, they all have common interests. I feel that is too big a term to use. Because when I look back at my life and ponder, all the people I’ve grown close to are very different from me. Back in Engg College, my circle of frens had completely different taste in music from mine. They weren’t into dating and romancing as I was. Even here in IIMB too, my personal interests are very different from my frens’. Yet there is something there, a very mysterious and unseen entity that pulls us all together. In Engg College Paolo, Johny, Thomas, Jacob etc were all mallus, Varasidhi was tam, Abhishek was marwari. I thought I was clicking well only with Southies due to my South-Indian upbringing, until I started having north Indian frens. My ex-girlfren of 2 yrs was also a Rajasthani. And then there were Clement, Elezar, Jabo etc, my very very close frens from Rwanda. After that it was Hyderabad, living with Arabs. Hyder, Haj, Alaa, Amoudi etc became my blood brothers. And here in IIMB, Tommy is bhong, Amol mumbaite, Monu tam, Kata is gult etc etc. At one point I even thought diversity has a role to play in all these. But then, this year, I found a lot of new mizo frens who had very similar interests as mine, leave alone similar background.

Looking back at all this now, I realized there is one very important factor that pulls people close to each other – it’s not the diversity nor the similarity in background. Just one very important criterion – The Same Sense of Humor.

The more we laugh out to each other’s jokes, the more we become closer subconsciously. With closeness comes trust. Ask yourself this, don’t you suddenly have this unexplainable attraction/closeness to someone who can make you laugh when you least expect it, and who genuinely laughs at your jokes too? The Power of Laughter is greater than you ever think it was. It’s like the Vanguard of an army set out to conquer frens. It never fails.

I miss my frens. And at the same time, I must take more effort to get to know this new batch. No man is an island, and even if I am, then I must build more harbors for other ships to dock and at the same time send out my vessels to other ports. friend-Ship Ahoy, mate!

Chp Interlude 1: A Warning

Am back at blogging!
The following mail has been sent to me by my senior and good fren Ali. I’ve just spoken to him regarding this and he assured me it is not a hoax as my credibility is at stake here. This really happened to his colleague.

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Hi!

I would like to bring to notice a certain injustice that I have subjected to at the Bangalore Railway Station (Majestic). On September 30 (Friday), 2005, I had been to the station to see off my fiancée and her mother. They took the Karnataka Express (Train #2627) to Jhansi at 6:30 pm.

On my way out I was asked to present my platform ticket by a railway official. On producing the same, the TT turned around and told me "What if I say that you haven't given me the ticket?" Before I could react, he along with his colleague pushed me into the adjacent enquiry cabin and physically manhandled me. I was slapped several times, my spectacles were grabbed and deliberately crushed by foot, and my phone was flung away from me. The RPF comprising of one RPF and four constables, appeared on the scene. The surrounding public was whisked away. None of the railway police officials cared to listen to me and they started hitting me indiscriminately with lathis. They dragged me out, and all the 4 constables continued hitting me with lathis from Platform 1 to Platform 3/5, till we reached the station master's cabin. Racist abuses and threats were made on the way. At the station master's cabin, I was told that I have been charged with a non-bailable offence and would be behind bars for 15 days.

Not for a single moment was I allowed to speak. All of a sudden a stranger came to the scene and he claimed that he was there to help me. Having lost all my physical strength and mental senses, I was happy to see some sort of help. He, claiming to be V Srinivas from Infosys, talked to the officials and the railway police in Kannada. He told me that the only way I was to get out was if I was willing to pay my way through. Being in no state to make a rational choice, I gave him my ATM card and pin. He took one of the RPF chaps along with him and said he would clear the matter. He returned some time later saying that everything was okay now.

I was asked to sign a statement which said that I hit the police and TT in a drunken state. I refused. Finally, they pressurized me to write that I did not produce a platform ticket when asked. I wrote the same and then V Srinivas took me out of the station. He joined me in an auto and took me to the ICICI ATM at Anand Rao circle. He withdrew Rs. 15000 from my ATM and got back. he took the cash under the pretext that while helping me he had left his wallet in the train he had left behind and that he would return the same through his ICICI Internet account. Having broken down mentally I did not realise that I was being cheated. He then took me to a Samsung showroom and tried purchasing a cellphone worth Rs. 18500 with my card. It was only then that I realised what was happening. I grabbed my card back, caught him by the collar, snatched my cash that lay in his pocket, and got into a running auto.

I have now realized that all of this was a plan. There is a strong nexus between the railway officials, the railway police and the fraudster. The railway officials identify a victim who they think is well-to-do, the RPF beat that individual till he has no physical or mental well-being. Then this fraud chap comes on to the scene, takes advantage of the situation, and takes all your cash away. Also, this series of events generally occurs on the last day of the month as they know that the salary gets credited on this day. (This strikes me now because the self-proclaimed Infy employee, V Srinivas, clearly asked me whether I had received my salary. He said that he just wanted to find out if there was cash enough to tackle the case.)

Now three days hence, I have tried to run from pillar to post. I have been forced to miss office hours in my effort to get justice. But I don't want to give up the fight midway. If any of you are in the media, or have friends/relatives who are in the industry, I'd like to speak with them about this in greater detail. I can be reached on 09886179319 or 08030933067. I believe it would catalyze my efforts.

Also, please pass this email to all the people who reside in Bangalore, so that they don't fall into the same trap.

Regards,
Nimish V Adani
IIML Batch of 2003
ITBHU Batch of 2001

Chp 44. Banyan County

Don’t you just love that feeling you get when you wake up way beyond your usual time on a late sunday afternoon, knowing you’ve just partied your brains out the previous nite? Ah! Your entire body aches and your eyes are burning from over-using that contact lens, yet thinking about the previous nite, you just can’t help but release a big smile as you stretch your body while still lying on your bed. And even better if there is some hot chick lying next to you sleeping peacefully… but alas…

Last Saturday nite I decided to party hard. The last few weeks, it has been only house parties. Advantages of a house party is, there is no time limit (party goes on until the neighbors threaten to call the police aka “Hoysala”), you know almost everybody at the party, there is always a spare room available for those who wanna make out, and basically, its cheap. But what a house party cannot offer is the ambience, and the P3 societal atmosphere all around.

And I was also really looking forward to partying with “S” n her frens for the first time. A really amazing bunch of girls; funny, quick-witted and hot. Left for “The Club” around 10pm as the dance floor over there usually opens by 11:30. Actually “The Club” is so close to my campus. As you go out of the Insti, take a left towards Jayanagar and keep on going straight for about 10km until you reach Mysore road dead-end T-junction. Take a left and a few more km and viola, you’re reached Ibitza.

But that night, as we drove inside the pearly gates of our party destination, stereo blasting the latest Hiphop chartbuster “Lose Control” by Missy Elliot, Ciara and Fat Man Scoop, adrenalin pumping and quite tipsy from the pre-party drinks, the security guards approached our car and said the Disco has been shifted to Banyan County (Aaaaargh, for the umpteenth time, I hate it when people say “Disco”. Either say “disc” or “discotheque” plz.) He gave us a small map.



So our long distance journey began. Around 10kms down Mysore road, terrible roads, pot holed and dusty, son of a bitches coming from the other side high-beaming me all the time (but then, it’s a national highway I think, so what else should I expect). Finally found the right-turn I had to take. The road is even worse, and smaller. No traffic to worry about, but that itself became a big worry as the entire stretch of road was completely deserted. I even slowed down, but not a single vehicle passed by. Slowly we rolled up our windows, locked the door and reduced the volume on the stereo

The map says “5km towards Banyan Tree”, but even after 6km, there was absolutely no sign of life. The very few houses here and there were completely dark. We were convinced we were lost, so we took a U-turn and disappointingly said we’ll go back and have our usual house party. And luckily, from the other direction we saw our first vehicle: a bike. On it were two dudes in complete hiphop attire! Either they were lost just like us or the party’s right ahead. I stopped them and they grinned wildly and said its just a couple of meters ahead! And there I was already taking a U-turn and about to head back!

Banyan County. Very secluded. Open air, typical farm house party. We could hear the music from the car parking area but the trees blocked our sight. Lots of bouncers everywhere. Entry was 300 bucks per couple, and even the girls had to pay 300 per each pair. And no freaking cover charge! The guy at the counter was like “Same rate as “The Club”.” My ass! “The Club” is like 200 per head with 100 bucks cover. Maybe he meant to say “Same coupon as “The Club”.” Bastard. Coz when one has come so far, it would be absolutely meaningless to go back without partying.

We shelled out 900 and romped inside. The place was really nice. No official Bar or dance floor. Everything was make-shift, including the DJ table. There is this amazing swimming pool with fountains and aqueduct like structures a lá Roman style, where water was pouring down continuously from above.

The drinks were quite expensive, 90 bucks per beer can which slowly metamorphosized into 100 bucks/can as the night progressed. All hard liquors were 100 bucks/60ml, and the pepsi/7up added to it is 30 bucks. Even a 500ml water bottle is 30 bucks.

The crowd was ok. Not that great. The music was only house. Bummer. We hardly danced and spent most of our time drinking by the pool. But slowly, as the morning got older, more and more party animals started arriving. Very soon the place was filled with an amazing cocktail of people: Around 30% Africans and Arabs, 30% North-easterns, 30% mainland Indians and remaining 10% firangis. DJ started playing Hiphop around 2am. It was amazing from then onwards. Had so much fun…

People danced everywhere, not just in the designated dance floor: Outside the floor, by the pool side, underneath the fountains, everywhere. And the best part is, everybody’s so friendly once high. No drunk rowdies looking for a fight. Everybody smiled at me and I did the same. We all felt this connection among each other even though we have never met and will probably never met again. Even gave a “Yo muh niggah” hug to many of the African dudes too, and the girls I was with knew quite a number of them.

Special mention must be made about the DJ’s girlfren (Both names withheld, to save myself from some embarrassment incase they ever come across my blog). She’s HOT! And probably one of the best dancers I’ve ever seen. Lucky him, me too definitely gonna become a DJ once I graduate from here And the girls I was with told me that they’ve been together for almost 3 years now.

Finally we left our beloved place around 5:30ish. People were still dancing when we left. The ride back was sheer torture for me. Sleepy and tired, I just wish I could doze off like the rest of the girls happily sleeping in the car. Damn.

Dropped them and came back to hostel around 6:30. Felt good to know I had such a great time. But well, I don’t think I’ll be going there again in a hurry coz, it’s too far, and kinda too expensive. It would be great if I can go there in a large group. Must talk to Monu, Amra, Amol, Tommy etc regarding this, and plan one day to go there in 3-4 cars. That would be amazing chapter 2.

Till then, it’s back to the grind here at IIMB. Sayonara…