Chp 415. Moving in to a new chapter

Life can be tough sometimes. And I am not talking about the recent North East incidents or communal riots and rumours. Those are depressing and I’ve already talked a lot about them. This post, is a happy happy post :-) For my happy happy readers :-)

Shifting house is a big pain. Staying as a guest at a friend’s place is not a very comfortable feeling either. But sometimes, one needs to go the extra mile to accomplish bigger dreams.

Yeah I’ve been literally “living out of a box” for the past three months now as a guest at the house of the CEO of the company where I work, because I took the drastic step of coming out of my comfort zone and changing my career in search of greener pastures a few months ago.

[My stuff]

Those boxes you see are mine. Unpacked. For three months now. Because I was supposed to work on something else (in Delhi) which eventually didn’t see the light of the day. Long story…

As much as I find the clichéd term “YOLO” stupid, I do believe sometimes we need to take certain risks to find our true calling. So when I got the golden opportunity to switch from advertising to head my own gaming team at our Delhi office, I left my home of 7 years (End of an ERA) to pursue that new career. Regular readers of my blog will know how passionate and crazy I am about gaming. Although I still can’t talk about what exactly happened, let’s just say I flew to Delhi and back like more than 20 times to seal the deal, until a better opportunity came up right here in Mumbai. I took that one instead, and it’s been an awesome rollercoaster ride so far…

And of course, like I mentioned before, shifting is a bitch. I ended up missing our “Class of ‘99” school reunion held at Bangalore because of this. Stephen even flew down all the way from Mizoram to make it for the 13th reunion, but I sadly had to miss it. And then I even ended up missing our “Mumbai Mizo Association Fresher’s Day” because we were busy fixing up our new house.

Here are some photos of the 2BHK duplex apartment where I was staying for the past 3 months, which we aptly named “King’s Landing”. (I know, Game of Thrones much we are)

One of the two bedrooms upstairs…

The staircase that connects the two floors. Dangerous it is! We used to joke about who among us would be the first one to fall, considering how we love our liquor, but ironically, the first person to tumble down the steps was completely sober! Fortunately she was alright, save for a bruised ankle and elbow.

Downstairs, the living room. This is where visitors are entertained; from company CEOs and COOs to a very cute dog named Marley.

This is where I play Mortal Kombat and other games on the PlayStation.

And if you think I don’t move my butt, oh you are so mistaken. 10 minutes of intense table tennis game or gladiator on the “PlayStation Move” and you’ll end up sweating like a pig, completely exhausted.

To show you how intense this game really is, this is me from the front side!

But of course I cannot be a guest forever. And all the happening pubs and discs in Bandra may be just a minimum auto-fare away, but it’s just not a proper apartment, by Mumbai standards (the entrance is quite shady compared to the interiors), and it’s not meant for three people to live in comfortably.

And so we searched for a new 3BHK apartment. Since I was the reason I was “breaking up the home”, I took up the responsibility of looking for such a place. Many places I looked with this broker and that broker, roaming all over Bandra & Khar, until I found the one place I fell in love with. 

My two future roomies then saw the place and they too fell in love with it immediately.

And then the drama began.

We agreed to the initial 90K monthly rental and 4 lakhs deposit, until another interested party came in the picture!

After that, it was like an auction war. Two parties trying to outbid each other, increasing the rental and deposit amount (while suffering a minor heart attack every time we bid). Eventually, we all agreed to a particular amount (which cannot be disclosed for the obvious reason), and so it was up to the landlord to decide who he wants to lease out his apartment to…

And so guess what?

He asked all six of us for out resumes!

Can you believe that? It’s like going for a job interview…

And so we mailed him our resumes, keeping our fingers crossed…

Lady Luck smiled on us! He was more impressed with our three resumes than the other three!

He flew down from Kuwait (where he’s running his own private company) a few days ago and we met him, laughed to his jokes, and sealed the agreement with his lawyers at the Mumbai Family Court. He was a really sweet guy, and we could understand how he was so concerned about leasing his apartment out to the right set of bachelors, keeping in mind how skeptical most apartment societies are about bachelors here in Mumbai.

[Below: The day we sealed the deal at the Family Court]

And so now, a new chapter has begun. Let’s hope our future will be as bright as our new apartment.

Last but not the least, here is me mentioning my friend Anant Rangaswamy in this blog post. lolz, hope Google catches this “mention” and alerts him. In fact I think I should do this every time I make a new post, hehehe…

G’nite and peace out.

Chp 414. A not so “Happy Independence Day” post

It saddens me to write this piece especially after my last post “The impact of Mary Kom’s bronze, and what it means for the North East” where I was looking forward to the positive changes Mary Kom’s success in the Olympics would bring to us North Easterners.

Instead, today, on our Independence Day, every person from the North East staying outside the North East is living in fear and insecurity, because mobs of “miscreants” are moving around in a systematic fashion, attacking people from the North East and shouting “Sab chinki log ko mat chhodo”.

Chinkis, as we are “lovingly” called by most Indians, or “waiters” as people like gkhamba prefers to call us, are indeed a lovable lot to most Indians. So lovable that we are sometimes recognized as Indians only when somebody from the North East performs well for the country, but otherwise we are just chinkis, chinese, waiters, watchmen, momos, terrorists, outsiders, dog eaters, baby eaters. A laughing stock.

When the Ministry of Home Affairs stated that people uttering the racial slur “chinki” could be jailed, I wrote about the actual reasons behind this law, and how it is more about the Scheduled Caste and Scheduled Tribe (Prevention of Atrocities) Act, 1989 which protects SC and ST people from discriminations and abuses based on one’s origin and background. Yet, most of the people on TOI website, First Post, various blogs and discussion forums like Sharell’s blog, Echo of India etc. were more infatuated with the name itself, slamming it as a ridiculous law.

Well, more than three months have passed since the MHA sent that order out. And how many people have actually been booked under this Act so far?  

Zero.

Now where are all the whiners who whined about how unfair this law is? People from the North East are still being called chinkis everywhere, nothing has changed for them. In fact they are now being ridiculed even more than before because of this “unfair” law. So I guess this is your definition of “fair” huh?

Ah… India.

Yup, the Government loves to act as if it cares about us, but as many people say, at the end of the day, it just needs the North East as a buffer zone against China and Burma.

Forget about how people continue to call North Eastern people chinkis. Now gangs of misinformed Muslims are roaming the streets attacking chinki people. Yup that’s the word they're actually using. One of the attackers caught by the police said smses have been forwarded around, telling them to attack every chinki people they can find for killing their Muslim brothers in Assam and Burma!

I ask you once again, where are all those people who claim the word chinki is just a harmless term?

And this attack on people from the North East -> Sense, it makes none.

There is an ethnic violence in Assam between the Bodos and Bangladeshi immigrants. However unfortunate that incident may be, both sides have suffered a lot. Of course there are arguments and counter-arguments about how some of the Muslims are not illegal Bangladeshi immigrants, while other articles claim the Assamese Muslims too are against the Bangladeshi immigrants, and so on…

See, I am not getting into that topic. This post is not about who is right or wrong over there, as it is a very controversial and sensitive issue.

But when did it ever become a communal clash? Blame the great Indian media for giving it a communal color.

And when did it suddenly become a “Muslims versus North Easterner” issue? What did Mizos, Nagas, Manipuris, Kukis, Khasis etc. ever do to the Muslim community and how are they related in any way to the Bodos or the Burmese?

Every day, I read the newspaper with much anticipation and anxiety. “Another new attack on people from the North East, by people from a minority community”, the newspaper says. Ah, political correctness and semantics. They can be so funny sometimes. Who exactly is the minority here again?

As much as I appreciate the Social Media for bringing me the latest news possible, unfortunately, it is also a great medium to spread rumors. Or are they just rumors? And until that news is confirmed, the only thing a person from the North East can do is quietly panic. “Two Manipuris in Bangalore hacked to death by Muslim mob” – I panicked until the news was discovered to be false. “Tibetan battling for life after being stabbed in Mysore” – I decided not to panic, until I found out it was true. “Muslim cleric in Andhra Pradesh issues fatwa to all chinkis”. Now should I believe that? See, that is the situation we are currently living in.

I spoke to a Mizo friend of mine in Bangalore regarding this incident of targeting “chinkis”. He asked the same questions I asked earlier, “The Assam issue was never communal. How did it become communal? And if it’s becoming communal, shouldn’t it rather be “Muslims versus Hindus” instead of us being the victims? How did we, most of us Christians, ever get in the middle of this, just because they’re afraid to attack the Hindus?”

Bodos are (mostly) Hindus indeed. But again, that is definitely not the solution. Muslim community leaders are playing a great role in cities like Pune, telling their people to stop this madness. There is a great out-pour of sympathizers from the Muslim community, condemning this violence against people from the North East community. If we put every Muslims in the same bucket as those who are attacking us, then how different are we from those who attack us? Likewise, people in Nagaland, Manipur, Mizoram etc. have been asked not to retaliate to the Muslims living in those states.

We need a strong voice to reach the Indian masses. And that is exactly what I wrote about in my previous post about Mary Kom. A lot of Indians are educated about the North East, but those are (usually) not the ones who discriminate or attack us. There is a huge class of people who are unaware of us, totally ignorant, and such people are not penetrated by tweets and blog posts like this.

We really need to take a kaleidoscopic view of this situation. Even if this current situation cools down and North Eastern people are no longer targeted, there are still many chances of such a situation flaring up again in the future. What if, say for example, somebody from Meghalaya murders a prominent Hindu swami or a popular politician? Can you confidently say Mizos, Nagas, Manipuris etc. will not face the brunt of the retaliation?

Can you?

Yup, that is the insecurity we will always live in. Happy Independence Day to you all.

Meanwhile, yes, you can continue with your jibes on chinkies because, as you can see for yourself, it is utterly hilarious. </sarcasm> Cheers!

Chp 413. Well done Mary Kom!

(The impact of Mary Kom’s bronze, and what it means for the North East.)

A few hours ago, Mary Kom lost her semi finals bout against home team’s Nicola Adams. I was here at home in Khar West, Mumbai, watching the match with my friends Akshay, Syed, Param, Pooja and Ajay. We actually set the alarm on our phones for 6pm so that we that we wouldn’t miss the fight. In fact we didn’t miss a single fight of hers this Olympics 2012.

She lost, but all of us were bloody proud of her.

I was especially proud of her because she’s from the North East.

I’m not trying to be ethnocentric here. I’m not saying, yay the reason I’m proud of her is because she’s from my region. No.

I’m extremely happy because now more people from India will know about the North East. If you’ve been a regular visitor at sites like TOI, you will be aware of the number of stupid comments and anti-NE hate comments on the comment section. This time, when TOI wrote about how Mary Kom apologized for winning “just” bronze, the comment section was flooded with love for her.

That made me cry with joy.

Like it or not, while most of the underprivileged sections of our society are fighting for rights and justice today, the main battle most people from the North East are fighting today is to be merely recognized as Indians.

Recognition. That is indeed a big issue. A few hours from now, Devendro Singh Laishram from Manipur has his match. I’ll be awake, cheering for him. In fact Manipur has provided a lot of Singhs in various fields like hockey, Sepak takraw, football and various martial arts forms. Unfortunately, from what I have experienced so far, when people see a Singh from Manipur on TV or print media, they assume he is from Punjab or other North Indian states. And again I have to tell them about the people from Manipur. See, that is what we hate. Wrong identification.

When Amitabh Bachchan tweeted about how he’s so proud of Mary Kom from Assam, there was of course a huge uproar from the North East, but I’m active on twitter and I observed right then that most of the people who responded immediately were not from the North East. That was a very positive sign. A trend we need to continue in the future. And he apologized shortly because of the overwhelming responses.

That is what we need – a mass effect from a mass media.

My good friend Anant Rangaswami, editor of First Post, once asked me what I have done for the North East. I told him frankly that when I am not busy working in the advertising industry, I try to blog and write as much as I can about the North East, such that Tehelka magazine once featured me to represent the Indian blogging community in their special edition “The Game changers from 2000-2009”.

His reply? “Good. But is that good enough?”

And he got a point indeed, never mind the ever cynic that he is. Most Tehelka readers are already aware of the North East, and that is not the target we need to educate. They are already educated. 

Baichung Bhutia was the poster boy of North East India. But again, Indians who are really into football already know about the North East. Similarly, the Indian rock music scene - Mizo bands like Boomerang, Scavenger Project, IIIrd Sovereign etc are famous in India, but again, such people who love these bands are already aware about the North East. The same thing goes for awesome Shillong bands like Soulmate and their fans.

The people we need to address do not belong to these genres. We need to reach out to the majority mass. The ones who think we are all from Nepal or China.

And that is what Sourabhee Debbarman from Tripura (Indian Idol season 4) did in 2009, becoming the first female Indian Idol winner. Prashant Tamang (Indian Idol season 3), well technically not from the North East, too did us a favour. And then there’s Meiyang Chang (Top 10 finalist Indian Idol season 3). Nah, he’s not even North Eastern, but I am really proud of his achievements and am a fan of his. Shows like these reach the right audience we need to address.

And now, Mary Kom has become the next messenger, the North Eastern messiah.

She appealed to the common man, surprising them about her Indianness and how such a person can be from India. She won the hearts of the people, and the people lovingly called her Magnificent Mary. She built a large fan following and the media wrote about her and her origin everywhere.

I may have been a long time fan of Mary Kom, but I am especially proud of her performance this Olympics and I hope she continues to shine for India and the North East. God bless her.

Things have indeed been better for people from the North East from the time I first started blogging in 2004. We need a change, a revolution, and that is possible only through a few selected gifted people like Mary Kom. Cheers and goodnight to you all.

Chp 412. To pirate or not to pirate: iOS vs Android

When Angry Bird launched on iOS, people paid just under a dollar for the game. But when they launched their Android version, it was completely free because those Rovio guys were smart. They knew that most Android users were just going to download pirated versions of the game on our rooted droids.

So they gave the game to Android for free, WITH advertising on the game screen. I personally didn't bother to download a cracked version that had no advertising as it wasn't a big issue for me, and so didn't most Android users too. The end result? Rovio reaped in almost the same amount of revenue from Android users (via ad clicks) that they made from iOS users who paid for the app. A win-win-win situation for everyone (Rovio got the moolah, Android users didn’t pay any moolah, and iPhone users didn’t give a $hit about 1 dollar).

I know there had been a lot of discussions about how developers prefer iOS over Android because most Android users expect free games or end up pirating or downloading a cracked version of the .apk file blah blah blah, so the developers don't make enough money...  Flurry reported that - “For every dollar of iOS revenue, developers only get 24 cents from Android.” Fair enough. I may be a pirate sometimes (we all are, deep down inside), but working in the creative field, I totally understand how much it sucks not to get credited or paid for an idea I came up with or something I really worked my ass off for.

Peter Farago, VP of Marketing at Flurry even stated the reasons why Android developers don't get paid and how that is killing the platform. And that is true because today, there are still more apps for iOS than Android, definitely better apps, in spite of the fact that Android overtook iOS in Apps Download in UK, Germany and Russia in Feb, 2012, and  soon followed by USA where Android bagged 50% of the US Smartphone market while iOS was reduced to just 30% in April 2012.

Yet, developers still prefer iOS. In fact, according to Flurry Analytics, the first quarter of 2012, 69% of app projects were started on iOS, while Android saw 31% of apps start life on its platform.

But if one really needs to develop a successful Android app, I honestly feel it's important to accept the Android situation instead of avoiding the Platform altogether and do what Rovio did, or what TinyCo did by developing a gaming model that tackled this situation. TinyCo cleverly customized the gameplay of their Android-iOS game “Tiny Village” by targeting players with special offers and incentives at the times they were most statistically likely to drop off. The end result? Android retention and average revenue per paying user was 25 to 40 percent higher than on iOS! [source]

TinyCo’s revenue sheet puts a dent to the popular “myth” that Android users are less likely to pay for in-game features than iOS users. Yes, Android users will definitely pay too if we feel it is really worth it. TinyCo’s monetization method was so effective that Google highlighted TinyCo’s practices in two of their I/O sessions this month and encouraged other developers to follow TinyCo’s lead.

See? TinyCo didn’t complain about how Android users end up pirating their games. They knew about this fact. That is why when I read articles like the one below, I just go, "Seriously? You really didn't see this coming????"

Madfinger: Android piracy forced Dead Trigger to go from paid to free model

Developer Madfinger Games explained today that its game Dead Trigger recently went from $0.99 to free because of the “unbelievably high piracy” it had encountered on Android.

Madfinger explained that they didn’t launch the game as free to play because they don’t have experience with that model, but that the piracy rates were so high even at $0.99 that they finally decided to give Dead Trigger away for free.

We all know Piracy is like the Greek mythology Hydra. You cut off one head, two will grow in its place. Nobody can stop it. Not SOPA, not PIPA, not ACTA, Megaupload will be back and running soon. As Kim dotCom wrote in his famous letter to Hollywood, instead of fighting the system, maybe its high time people realize they have to adjust to the system. I still believe the future of Android games is about how smart the developer becomes and how he can tackle this piracy issue, instead of just avoiding the platform altogether.

Debates and bricks and bats welcome :)

Chp 411. Wanna see The Dark Knight Rise? :)

Reached Mumbai two days ago from Delhi, only to find out my friends weren’t able to “pre-book” tickets for “The Dark Knight Rises” as all tickets in Mumbai at every Movie theater had been pre-booked till next Thursday!!!

 Man, talk about advance booking.

And so, as the Dark Knight Rises released today, I’m one of the many people sulking at home, trying to ignore the FB status messages and tweets of all my friends who saw it today, talking about how awesome the movie was… Grrrr…

Anyway, for the ladies… I made this pic especially for this occasion. In fact I bought this boxer solely with the intention of taking this exact pic. I already posted it on my Facebook wall and it got 50+ likes so I’m assuming its ok to put it here too, hehehe….



Yeah I know, I had to blur out my face because I know how some of you guys are going to turn this around at me one day :P

By the way, today there was a tragic incident of a gunman opening fire at The Dark Knight premiere in Colorado. Around 14 people died so far. Truly a tragedy.

Batman US cinema shooting: 12 dead in Colorado

At least 12 people have been killed and dozens wounded in a shooting at a midnight cinema showing of the new Batman film near Denver, Colorado.

Witnesses said a man wearing a gas mask opened fire after tossing a tear gas canister in the auditorium as movie-goers watched The Dark Knight Rises.

Right now, every site you go online is talking about the shooting incident and the victims… May their souls rest in peace. :(

To  end this short post and cheer you up a bit, here is my favorite scene from Batman… nopes, not any of the latest Batman series… I’m talking about the 1960’s *KAPOW*, *BAMMM* Batman. This is one of my favorite scenes, about the AWESOME deduction power of Batman, Robin and the rest. It will surely crack you up…

…and here’s another one I just can’t stop laughing to. Batman having a conversation with Bruce Wayne :)

Cheers and a happy weekend :)

Chp 410. Yes, I am F.I.N.E (almost)

I kept my word and went for a full body checkup yesterday at Lilavati Hospital, Bandra.

The place was truly awesome. As I mentioned before, this was my first health checkup, and also the first time I was inside Lilavati hospital. The place was crawling with private security guards everywhere, after all, it is THE place where Bollywood’s top stars, P3 celebs and other famous Mumbaikars like Amitabh  Bachchan, Lara Dutta, Bal Thackeray and Salman Khan rush to, whenever they have a serious case of the hiccups.

There were all sorts of hospital staff in different uniforms roaming everywhere, like clockwork. In fact I think there were more employees than sick people.

When I reported myself at the health check-up division on the second floor, I was immediately assigned a very cute and charming assistant “M”, who took me from one test section to the other seamlessly. Whenever I came out from a test lab, she was always there near the door smiling at me and ready to take me to my next test, making sure I didn’t get lost in that huge maze of a hospital.

I was given this badge to wear the entire day…



After submitting my stool and urine samples (Don’t ask me how I finally got them! I am strictly following the US military policy here – “Don’t ask, don’t tell”), one of the docs extracted around five test tubes of blood from me.

After all the post-fast tests were done, I could finally break my 12+ hours fasting and “M” took me to the special breakfast buffet room meant only for health check-up patients.





Hehe, I ate like there was no tomorrow. I never expected such soft idlis to be served in a hospital “canteen”. The idli, dipped in awesome coconut chutney, literally melted in my mouth. It was far better than the ones we get at popular South Indian restaurants like Banana Leaf or Café Madras.

Overall, the treatment and service I got was definitely 5 star.

Today, I went to collect my report. Yes my heart was pumping a bit more than usual, as I tried to convince myself that I was ready to expect the worst…

The doctor grinded me for a few minutes. I truthfully told her about my current lifestyle, and I could sense a hint of disdain in her tone…

And so here are my results – My lungs, kidneys, heart and liver are perfectly fine!!! Wooohoooooooo! My liver’s SGOT and SGPT readings were 27 and 31 respectively, well within the same zone, which completely shocked my cousin Dr. Mash. :)

The BAD NEWS though is, I have high BP – 140/100, which is probably because of my incessant smoking and heavy alcohol intake. And I also have slightly high cholesterol and blood sugar level (I’m almost near the borderline between normal and high, but fortunately on the normal side).

She recommended me to take three more tests whenever I’m free – PPBS, B12 and D3, to check for diabetes (though she assured me it may not be), but first and foremost, she told me to quit smoking. I am really thinking about doing this.





So apart from all that, she prescribed medicines only for my High BP, which I’m gonna start taking from today itself, and to monitor my BP daily. Also, I have to start doing something physical as she said the only reason why my body hasn’t suffered more is because I used to be physically very active for a long time.

I am really glad I took this test (which I’ve been dreading for a very long time) and it feels like a huge burden has been lifted off my back. Tonight, we party to celebrate this!!! Well, just tonight, after that, I swear I’m gonna go easy on the partying and alcohol. I hope all of you take a complete health check too.

The only song playing in my head right now is this…



Yeah, time to celebrate!!! :)

And oh, on a parting note… you wanna know what the most difficult task in the whole wide world is?

THIS :



Cheers :)

Chp 409. Woohoo… Four years in Webchutney!

My my… it feels just like yesterday when I wrote my “Just completed three years at Webchutney” post this same time last year!

And with a few senior people (in terms of duration) leaving last year, I am now in the Top 10-15 list of employees who have worked the longest here at Webchutney, India’s leading digital agency. In fact, in our Mumbai office, only five people have worked longer than me. And trust me, in our highly competitive industry, people move on (or asked to move on) from one company to the other very quickly.

I don’t know about people working in other digital ad agencies, but for me, these past four years had been magical. I joined this company in 2008. That year, we were adjudged the number 1 digital agency in India! Then in 2009 we retained our title again, becoming the undisputed number 1 digital agency again.

But we could see our competitors drawing closer and closer. In 2010, we were knocked down to third position! That was indeed a dark time for many of us.

In 2011, the year when I blogged about completing three years here, we pulled up our sockets and worked extra hard, fought for bigger pitches and slept more nights in office trying to meet crazy deadlines that truly mind-fucked us.

Two months ago, the verdict came out, and YES we retained our title and were declared the number 1 digital agency in India for 2011!!!

And yes, party we did! Me being the shameless creative trailblazer, I was present in both the Delhi Office party and the Mumbai Office Party. Hehehe…

This year had been especially awesome for me because, apart from working on many new accounts and coming up with awesome ideas and campaigns (the usual things that we always do), I discovered that I was a bit more versatile than I thought I was :)

For the first time, I worked on a digital + TV production house campaign for one of my clients! It was a totally new experience for me as we’re not a mainline ad agency and the only TV shoot experience I had before was as a copywriter where I was more of a spectator, not getting involved in the scripting or directing. But I believed I could pull this one off, and I had a lot of moral support from my awesome bosses. And so I spent weeks in the brain-storming room and Studio with the clients and production crew, planning for the shots that we required for the digital campaign.

Plus the client was awesome. More than an agency-client relationship, we became friends through the course of the project. And the best part was, the director was very open to my suggestions. Telling the extremely cute model “K” what to do and how to act or move got me high a bit, lolz. The director knew very well that when it comes to TV shots, that is his expertise, but I know how things will pan out and how consumers will react when it comes to the digital world because that is my domain.

I can’t mention the name of the client (or model) yet because the campaign hasn’t officially launch yet. Until then, I’ll leave these photos taken on that day.





















The other big project not related to digital advertising that I’m currently working on for the past two months is mobile gaming! Other than that I cannot say anything else for now as things are not “officially official” yet.

Yup, that’s the reason why I’ve been going up to Delhi and back at least 20 times the past two months.

I am itching to blog about all my experiences, but don’t want to until things are confirmed. Will be in Delhi again next week, so hoping to catch up with all my Delhi friends again then, except, it’s awesomely 27°C here in Mumbai while it’s freaking 43°C in Delhi! Aaaarghhh.

Anyhoo, this is my rant for today about completing four years in this awesome place. Now you see how this is related to my previous post? Yup, these past four years had taken a heavy toll on my health. Will be going for my medical check-up this week. Until then, take care y’all.

Chp 408. I need a doctor…

Not the “I’m about to lose my mind, you’ve been gone for so long, I need a doctor, call me a doctor” Eminem’s type of doctor love, but an actual doctor.

I’ve always considered myself to be the healthy type, even though I do nothing to take care of my body. And I never fall sick. Of course “never” would be an exaggeration, but you catch my drift right? I’m one of those who can eat all the junk food in the world, sleep in front of an AC with wet hair, drink binge almost every single night until I’m piss drunk, finish 2-3 packs of cigarette a day, yet sometimes work in office for three days at a stretch without sleeping, and yet I hardly fall sick.

*Touchwood* yeah I guess I have been really lucky…

I always thought I’m like this because of my “jock” past, regularly playing basketball, football, volleyball, handball, and every other possible sport every day since I was in class 3…

If you’re a gamer, then consider it like you’re sending your hero who is a paladin or mage or whatever, out on a long quest, and you buy as many health packs as you can for him to carry along. As he fights trolls and goblins along the way, his health reduces but you simply keep rejuvenating him with your health packs, until one fine battle, you’ve run out of health packs and so you need to play cautiously now. Otherwise, he’s going to die.

Well, the game of life is pretty much like that. In the gaming world, you can still buy more health packs later but unfortunately that is not possible in real life.

Due to my wayward lifestyle, I guess I too have now run out of health packs.

Four days ago, I got my first “attack”. We were moving a fridge in our office and it was a bit humid as the AC was not working properly. After lifting the fridge, I started becoming dizzy. I sat down immediately. I couldn’t breathe properly, everything was spinning around me and I was sweating profusely. Finally, I recovered, much to the delight of my boss. Later we found out I had either low BP or high BP attack.

I mean, I know many people who have faced panic attacks, but I never imagined it would ever happen to me. Comon, I’m 32 but never actually grew up mentally beyond 18, still loves partying and pushing myself to the limit. And there I was, a warning given to me.

My dear friends keep asking me, “Why are you so afraid to get a full body check-up?” Well, it’s not that I am afraid to go for a check-up. I’m just afraid to know my result. What if… you know? Yeah. That’s what I’m talking about.

But now my hands are tied. I consulted with my cousin Dr. BT who prescribed a few medicines to take temporarily.

Then I looked up on Lilavati Hospital’s website, which is one of the most renowned hospitals here in Mumbai. I checked out their check-up packages, and shortlisted two that applied to me. I then sent that list to another cousin, Dr. Mahruaii, who suggested I should go for the first one…



Option 1. BASIC PACKAGE – RS.2500/-

I. LAB TESTS
* CBC
* ESR
* BLOOD GROUP

Screening Test for Diabetes
BLOOD SUGAR FASTING

Screening Tests for Liver Function
SGOT
SGPT

Screening Test for Kidney Function
SERUM CREATININE

Total Cholesterol
Urine - Routine / Microscopy
Stool - Routine / Microscopy
Screening Test for Cardiac Function
ECG

II. IMAGING TEST
* X-RAY CHEST
* VISION CHECK

III. CONSULTATION
* PHYSICIAN

------------------------------------------------------

Option 2. ADAM’S PACKAGE – RS. 4500/-

I. LAB TESTS
* CBC
* ESR

Screening Test for Diabetes
BLOOD SUGAR FASTING

Screening Test for Kidney Function
SERUM CREATININE

Tests for Liver Profile
TOTAL PROTEIN
ALBUMIN
SGOT
SGPT
BILIRUBIN
GGTP
PROTHROMBIN TIME
ALKALINE PHOSPHATASE
ACID PHOSPHATE

Total Cholesterol
Urine - Routine / Microscopy
Stool - Routine / Microscopy
Screening Test for Cardiac Function
ECG

II. IMAGING TESTS
* X-RAY CHEST
* SONOGRAPHY Upper Abdomen

III. CONSULTATIONS
* PHYSICIAN
* SURGEON

Healthy, Delicious Breakfast & Lunch

------------------------------------------------------



So hopefully on the first week of next month, I will go for my check-up, my first ever in my life, and see exactly what my condition is. Wish me all the best, lolz.

 Right now I’m thinking, how the hell am I supposed to take my stool sample for the test? Any suggestions? Creative ways will be appreciated :D

Chp 407. Delhi Journal - 6

So here is my final Delhi comic strip before I go back to home sweet home Mumbai tomorrow. Oh wait. I don’t have a home anymore! :(

Anyhoo, I think this post is really apt, especially after yesterday’s hotly discussed news from the Ministry of Home Affairs. :) 

Cheers  :)

Chp 406. Chinki/Chinky in the limelight again

It’s been six years since I wrote my blog post “Chinky: What me insult?” which appeared in “NE Sun” and a couple of other renowned magazines. And today, everybody’s talking about this again because India Today published an article that begins with the sentence… “The next time you decide to call a person from the North-East a ‘Chinki’, you could end up cooling your heels behind bars for the next five years.”

India Today:  North-East racial slur could get you jailed for five years

Growing incidents of racial discrimination and verbal abuse against citizens from the North-East have forced the Ministry of Home Affairs (MHA) to send a letter to all the states and Union Territories, asking them to book offenders guilty of atrocity against people from the region under the Scheduled Castes and Scheduled Tribes (Prevention of Atrocities) Act since a significant number of persons from the North-East belong to the Scheduled Tribes.

The Indian twittersphere responded…

@samar11 tweeted - Five years for calling someone chinki. I guess racist india needed extreme punishment.

While @mojororo stated truthfully - You can now go to jail if you call a North-Easterner a chinki. You can also go to jail for no reason if you are just a North-Easterner.

I had an interesting discussion with my good twit-friend @twilightfairy too who replied - @Mizohican i know and fully agree that politically incorrect terms shd nt be used. but Jail is too much. so many other words deserve jail no?

And I find @aatifsumar’s wisecrack really funny - If I were a North Eastern Indian, I would rename myself to Chinki just to mess with people.

-----------

On the question of whether the slur chink, chinki, chinky etc. is offensive or not, well, I have been called such names many times even at the comment section of my blog, and you can judge for yourselves if you think the usage is offensive or not…

This one was when I wrote the aforementioned blog post [Comment link]

Oh, let’s start by getting things straight, what is this? A Whining little chink from North east? What happened can’t get along with the realities of life in India? Your ugly aids infested wh0rish women and your ugly men, including your butt ugly face and nose, and eyes clearly deserve the word Chink.

Or when I wrote a normal blog post about the internet…  [Comment link]

India doesn’t need whining chinks like you, we just need your land to be the buffer zone , not you. We poured out crores of rupees into Mizoram every year, and what was the result? No industries, nothing. You are just leechers.

Or even this post where I was celebrating India’s diversity… [Comment link]

and where are your chinko mizos? I don't see them anywhere else in the world or even lol in hind-fuk-sthan either, sitting and jumping on bamboo sticks and eating dogs for dinner ?

And there are so many more on just my blog alone, I don’t even want to talk about the rest of the internet…

After being verbally abused like that almost every day and reading such comments everywhere, it’s quite easy for most North-Easterners to assume this is how the rest of India feels about them.

Vice Chancellors of reputed Universities have stereotyped us over and over again. Police racially profile us. Even newspapers continue to stereotype us. Remember “Mail Today” that reported, “The next time a drug peddler knocks on your door to deliver drugs, it will not be an African but a girl from the North East”? [my response to that report]

It’s not just about being called a chinky, but about people whom I’ve never met or known before calling me from the roadside  “Abey watchman”, “momo”, “bahadur”, “ching chong”, “waiter”, and laughing their asses out…

And then comes some of the prominent Indians on twitter, like @gkhamba, who immediately tweeted today -

You can now go to jail for calling someone from the North East chinki. Personally, I prefer "waiter".

…and even got many retweets from his 20K+ followers, making more crude jokes about people from the North East.

And of course if we protest, we are told to grow up or that we lack a sense of humor. I wish these people could put themselves in the shoes of somebody from the North East for just one day and see what we have to endure every day. Haha yeah that would be utterly hilarious. Where’s the sense of humor now, huh?

Overall, when my close friends call me a chinki, I am not offended at all. I know they mean it affectionately. I’ve been outside Mizoram all my life and have more non-Mizo friends than Mizos. I know for a fact that there are many broad minded and politically correct Indians out there. But will this new law stop the few deranged ones from verbally abusing North Eastern people on the streets and restaurants?

Only time will tell, I guess.

Maybe if an example is made of, say, a stand-up comedian who takes pride in calling people from the North East as “waiters”, maybe things will change? Hah, who will have the last laugh then? :)

Nah, just kidding. @gkhamba can be really funny sometimes and I’m sure he’s a really nice guy, and that’s the problem with being a standup comic – sometimes you have to insult certain communities for the sake of wringing out a few laughter from your audience, after all, truth be told, we’re all a little racist inside. As a Mizo, I can laugh to harmless jokes about our Mizo Christian community, our accent, our hot temper, or even about eating dog’s meat (even though many of us don’t eat it). But lines must be drawn and it’s hard to laugh when somebody refer to northeastern women as prostitutes or the men as watchmen or waiters.

But I think most of us are MISSING THE POINT here.

Everybody’s discussing about how chinki can be a racial slur etc etc… completely missing out the crux of the statement from the Ministry of Home Affairs.

@laajjo tweeted - I gather it's in a bad taste to called NEs chinki. When are we banning the sardar, sindhi, South indian, marwari, gujju, baniya jokes then?

@twilightfairy tweeted - Abusing someone does not a baal baanka, but calling someone chinki can land u in jail?

@lifetimefe tweeted - If we go to jail for calling north eastern people chinki, then all north Indians must go to jail for calling south Indians Madrasis.

@kmanojmenon replied - @Mizohican @northeastblog he is extending law to sections to whom it does not apply, will he apply to Biharis, in Mumbai & Delhi ?

 

See, see, see… this is NOT about the word “chinki”, per se. This issue is not just about uttering racial slurs. This is not some new law the MHA made up, out of the blue. It is not suddenly giving people from the North East special status and protection. Many of us are not aware of the Scheduled Caste and Scheduled Tribe (Prevention of Atrocities) Act, 1989 which protects SC and ST people from discriminations and atrocities from the upper castes, like verbal abuses and racial slurs.

If you find this Act unfair, then hey, you can speak to the law makers of our country and tell them to scrap this law or amend it. I didn’t chart this Act. I had nothing to do with it. But as long as this Act is in place, then that means SC and ST people are protected. And most North Eastern people are ST, so that is why you cannot use racial slurs like chinky because according to this Act’s atrocity definition, the one and only reason why you’re abusing him as a chinky is because of his identity, WHICH is indeed an offense under this Act.

Yes, my friend. This Act has always been around, and what India Today did was merely reminded the citizens of this great country about the existence of this Act. 

I hope this tweet by my good friend @MansinghNepram clears some of the confusion…

"Chinki" could get you jailed for five years according to SC/ST act - > Dont belong to SC/ST, no protection for me? :D

He’s from Manipur, a Meitei. Hence he is neither an SC nor ST, unlike his Mizo and Naga neighbors who are all Scheduled Tribes. Therefore, TECHNICALLY, if somebody calls him a chinky, then that perpetrator (unfortunately) CANNOT be punished under this same Atrocities Act.

Hope it’s clear now.

Cheers, y’all. And I’m sure some of the racial abusers will comment on my blog again. Haters gonna hate. :)

Chp 405. Delhi Journal - 5

Sometimes I think it is very important to weigh the pros and cons of a city before deciding which city is better… And those factors differ from person to person.

Cheers!  :)

Chp 404. Delhi Journal - 4

Don’t you guys wish you have some super power too? 

Cheers  :)

Chp 403. Delhi Journal - 3

Urrrmm… yeah sometimes people hear different things, especially when they’re at a new city. The new culture, new environment, new surroundings, new people, new language, all these add to misinterpretation sometimes…

Kinda lame, I know… I just needed something to update today :)

Chp 402. Delhi Journal - 2

You like momos? Me too. I LOVE them… Delhi roadside momos are the best because they are cheap and tasty as hell, especially with their spicy momo chutney. Back in Mumbai, the momos are either not that good, or you’ll find the tasty ones only in expensive Chinese restaurants…

But then, I had a recent experience here in Delhi…

Hmmmm… :(

Chp 401. Delhi Journal - 1

Day 9. Still in Delhi. What was supposed to be a 4 day visit, has gone beyond a week now. I am skin-burnt, homesick, and gaining a lot of weight because of all the yummy (and cheap) street food. The words “bhen chod” seem to come out of my mouth automatically now. When in Rome, speak like the Romans, I guess. 

To make up for inactivity on my blog for the past two months, I’ll be posting a Delhi Journal comic strip every day for the next one week. Cheers :-)

Chp 400. End of an ERA

Perhaps it is quite apt that my 400th post is about the end of an era. An era of living at Greenfields, one of the best apartments in the suburbs.

I was staying at Greenfields for the past 4 years, until 3 days ago, and before that my sister was there for 3 years and I used to visit her occasionally after dropping out from B-School. In fact my association with Greenfields was almost as old as my blog. The apartment outlived two relationships of mine, churned out a new one and saw a lot of my friends come and go - Happy times, sad times, sleepy times, but mostly, drunken times.

Some of the things I loved about Greenfields Society - the people were awesome. From the time I stayed there till the time I left, I didn’t have a single issue with my neighbors. In fact when I went to renew my rental agreement last year, my landlord and I had to get an approval from the Society President. The first question the president asked me was, “Why was there not even a single complaint about you for the past three years? No loud music playing, no loud partying, no loud noise, no nothing. What are you up to?” Lolz.

Trust me, I wasn’t that pally with my neighbors either. There were three families on my floor. At the most, we were just on a “hi-bye” relationship. But we knew each other very well, and knew where to draw the line. Of course there were loud parties at my pad sometimes, but my neighbors never complained because they knew I was just a bachelor trying to have that occasional fun (before it’s too late), and they also knew very well that I wouldn’t be doing that regularly. We understood each other and co-existed peacefully.

And then there were other things like 24/7 water supply, 24/7 electricity, and it was extremely peaceful and quiet. No loud dhantanakakakaka festival or marriage celebrations were allowed inside. And on the weekends, there were 2-3 flats in my building who would blast songs like Here without you, November rain etc, and even the latest hiphop songs. I never got to figure out who those people were, but it was nice to have such people in the building.

Situated right on the prime Jogeshwari Vikroli link road, Powai was just a few minutes away on one side and the Western Express was around 10 minutes away on the other side. And then there were Goregaon’s HUB and Oberoi Mall not very far too. It was the perfect 1 BHK apartment. Cozy, fully furnished and good vibes. Seven years of comfort at that place.

All that ended this Monday.

Why did I take the extreme step of shifting out from such an awesome place?

Well, I am still not at liberty to talk about what I’ve been up to the past one month, until things are confirmed. But for now, I’ve moved into my CEO’s place temporarily, an amazing duplex apartment at Khar West. So that means partying and binging every night when you have such a kickass awesome CEO. :-)

Here are some pics I took that day – my last day at Greenfields…

With some of my neighbor’s kids who regularly hangout at my pad and call me “Cool Uncle Kim” :-)


Woke up early on my last day. Took a photo that I always saw every day for the past 7 years.


Hehe… Trying to get rid of all the eggs before the movers and packers arrived…


All the warmth, all the coziness… all packed and gone now :-(


My bed… it never got lucky, if you know what I mean…


The morning after, at my CEO’s duplex -


One of the perks of staying (temporarily) with a CEO. He has to be informed. Hence, there is no dearth of daily newspapers.


Cheers :-)

Chp 399. Birthday at AER

I’ve been EXTREMELY busy this past one month, but I cannot mention the reason why I was busy yet… Maybe on my next blog update when I have the green signal to announce whatever I’ve been up to for the past one month, I will do so then…

Meanwhile, here is me just updating my blog for the sake of updating.

Yesterday, 21st April, was my birthday :-)

I flew down from Delhi to Mumbai on 20th night right after a hectic meeting with clients, and went directly from the Airport to AER, where the CEO of my company had organized a birthday party for me!

He purposely made AER the venue for my birthday bash because he knows how much I hate AER, purely because of the reason that it is uber expensive. One freaking drink of Old Monk costs 2000 bucks over there (!), and I have always refused to go with my colleagues to AER because of that.  That’s where all the who’s who of Mumbai’s Page 3 and lah-di-dah society hang out.

Even if people were planning to treat me, I just couldn’t picture myself drinking Old Monk with such an exorbitant and outrageous price. Until two nights ago, that is…

:-)

In fact, Sidharth, the CEO of WebChutney (where I work), refused to tell me the location of the birthday party he was throwing for me, but I had a sneaking suspicion it was at AER. And once we reached the place, I really couldn’t say no anymore because after all, it was my birthday party and we were there. :-)

I didn’t take that many pics, especially since I was a little bit self-conscious and didn’t wanna be THAT dude clicking pictures of all the celebs around, if you know what I mean.

At Four Seasons.


The ticket - ok the background pics were honestly unintentional.




The loo :-P


A view of Bandra-Worli sea link from the 34th floor terrace




My cake :-)


I remember sharing pictures of Naga Chilies (from my phone) with a producer of NDTV Good Times, who was this really adorable chick with a bob cut. She won my heart with her charm… daymmm I forgot her name :-(

Through Sid’s friend P, I got to meet a lot of high society people, all wishing me a very happy birthday. The highlight of the night was definitely when the oh-so-ever-cute Shenaz Treasurywala turned up and hugged me a happy birthday!!!


[This pic was not taken that night :P - Source]

She was sooooo sweet and nice… Had a really good time hanging out with her, listening to her, making her laugh to my corny jokes etc, though most of it is hazy…

But I do remember getting inside Shenaz’s car since AER closed at 1am, and we all went to a couple of other places. I don’t remember much because I was having such a blast, but Sid assured me the next day that I didn’t do anything stupid with Shenaz or the other celebs (lolz). One of the places we went to was Blue Frog, and frankly speaking, I don’t remember how we got there, what we did there, and where we went from there, but the next day I was going through my phone and I found this video…



Lolz, I really don’t remember taking this vid at all!!!

All in all, it was an AWESOME birthday, and a HUGE THANKS to Sidharth for throwing me that monster party. You are the bestest CEO everrrrr! :-)

Having a HUGE hangover the next day was definitely worth it! Ahhhh… :-)

Chp 398. The UPS schemozzle

It was just one of those lazy Sunday afternoons.

After a long night of partying at Aer, there’s nothing more relaxing and peaceful than just chilling out with my three friends Anil, John and Shaan over a couple of beer at Shaan’s Bandra cottage. Sunny outside, thighs sticking to the leathery bean bags inside, enjoying the breeze from the rickety old fan spinning above.

You could feel the air becoming sultrier with every passing day, announcing the arrival of summer here in Mumbai. The humidity was aptly countered by the chilled beer.

“Hey guys,” Shaan suddenly said. “Remember those days when we used to use UPS?”

“Aaah…” the three of us reminisced in unison.

“I think it’s been a really long time since I’ve last seen one!” John expressed.

Gulping down a refreshing swig of cold beer, I corrected John, “It can’t be that long. I think it’s just two to three years ago, I’m sure. But yeah, technology is improving so fast that it kinda seems like a long time ago.”

“True”, Anil nodded in agreement.

Working together at a digital advertising agency for more than five years now, it had indeed been a long time since we last saw somebody using a UPS. First of all, we all had laptops at home now, since it was easier to carry around between home and work and to client meetings.

And even in office, everybody’s either using a laptop or iPads and Android tablets. The very few people who use desktops and macs do not use any UPS since we’ve never had any power outage in office. That’s one of the perks of renting an office space with a 5 crore monthly rental.

“Hey, so what does UPS stand for anyway?” Shaan asked again.

“Urrrrmmm…”

We all rolled our eyes trying to remember, and then suddenly realized we had forgotten!

John and I immediately took out our Android phones to google the answer, when suddenly Shaan interrupted us, “Wait! Stop. Comon guys, we should know this. Let’s try to remember what it is, the good old fashion way, by racking our brains.”

We grinned back as we placed our phones slowly on the table.

“Hmmm… I think UPS stands for Unlimited Power Supply”, I said.

“Unlimited? But it isn’t unlimited at all. It goes off after a few minutes, giving us enough time to shut down our desktops”, Anil said.

“I agree with Anil,” Shaan said. “It isn’t unlimited…. But yeah, the P and S definitely stand for Power Supply, that much I remember.”

“Ok how about this,” John joined in. “Uncertain Power Supply? Because, you know, we never used to know when the lights would go off…”

We laughed.

“Underground Power Supply!” Anil blurted out. “Because I think it has to do with electrical and wiring systems, you know, when we earth the power line in case the electrical insulation fails, hence… Underground”

“Underground…” I replied, “That’s how we call groups like ULFA, NSCN, HPC, PREPAK, UNLF etc. in the North East. Underground. I don’t think people over there would buy a UPS if it means Underground Power Supply.”

We laughed again.

“Ok how about… Unbelievable Power Supply! Because it’s hard to believe that our PC is still running even though there is no electricity!” Shaan quipped.

And after that the rapid round of guessing started…

Anil: “Unauthorized Power Supply, because the Electric Dept shut down electricity and yet it’s still functioning, hence this power supply is not authorized!”

John: “Ulterior Power Supply – Because it has an ulterior motive of giving us electricity even when there is no electricity!”

Shaan: “Ultimate Power Supply, because, hey, there’s no power and yet there IS power. Isn’t that that most ultimate power supply you’ve ever heard of?”

Me: “Umbrella Power Supply! Because we use umbrellas only when it rains, in times of emergency right? Hence… Umbrella!”

Anil: “Unpleasant Power Supply, because it makes that really awful and irritating *peep peep* noise once the electricity goes off!”

John: “Utopia Power Supply – Because in a Utopian world, everything is supposed to be perfect. Hence even the power supply is perfect!”

Shaan: “Unsung Power Supply, because they’re like our unsung heroes. Nobody praises them or realizes how useful they really are.”

Me: “Umbilical Power Supply! Because it acts as the umbilical cord of power supply, protecting us and feeding us with electricity!”

FINALLY, we gave up and I slowly reached for my Android. “Google UPS”. Anil, John and Shaan looked at me and waited in great anticipation…

So which of us got it right?

As the search result showed up on my phone, I gave myself a hard facepalm. And then I told the others what UPS means: “It’s Uninterrupted Power Supply.”

They too immediately facepalmed themselves, groaning in disbelief. Frankly speaking, it was very embarrassing for us to forget what UPS means or even unable to guess it correctly. I guess we all become dumber with age.

We clinked our pints for one last toast before heading out to the balcony for the BBQ lunch. A lazy Sunday afternoon indeed, but it will be a couple of years before we ever forget what UPS means again. Hopefully.



Ps. Not an entirely true story. A work of semi-fiction. :P

Chp 397. Zonking out

Ever experience that moment when you suddenly zonk out while remaining conscious? You’re just standing or sitting still, lost in your own world but at the same time not thinking about anything in particular, just staring at something and not hearing a thing that your friends are telling you?

It’s as if time suddenly came to a brute halt and everything is stuck in some kinda limbo or warp zone...

…only to be broken by her screaming, “Why the hell did you suddenly stop? Continue or get off me!”

Just kidding... :P

But yeah, sometimes when you’re in that inanimate mental state, it is really embarrassing when you suddenly snap out of your blackout only to realize you have been staring at some woman’s breast, and that poor uncomfortable woman is giving you the “You dirty pervert” looks.

And then you try to mentally communicate with her, “I swear I wasn’t staring at your… I mean my eyes might have been looking there, but I didn’t notice anything!!!” which only seems to make the situation worse.

But hey, at least that is better than snapping out to realize you have been staring at some dude’s crotch…

…and that guy grins at you and changes his seat to move right next to you…

:)

This zonking out can happen to you while you’re in the middle of anything, and you’ll forget what you were initially doing once you come out of your trance. I’m just sitting in office writing this post to update my blog and…



















































…I think I’ll order pizza. I’m kinda hungry, all of a sudden.