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Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Chp 170. Ouch, Jimmy bites the dust.

aka Chp 170. Jimmy Balls & Chain.

During my recent stay in Aizawl, I learnt that one of my closest friends Jimmy (aka "
BlackWhite" in the online World) is going to tie the knot next month. And the future "Mrs." turned out to be none other than my second-cousin!

Bummer. Hence when I met the "soon-to-be-happily-arguing" couple at "David's Kitchen" the other day, I couldn't quip most of the sleazy jokes that I had planned before, because somehow the fact that she's my cousin definitely took the fun (and comfort) out of such jokes.


How long do you think they will smile like this? Ladbrokes placed the odds at 1:9

I still can't believe my "bradaaar" Jimmy is getting married. Even Jimmy himself can't believe he's getting married. To me, Jimmy has always been the Epitome of bachelorhood, the Champion of individualism, the swashbuckling Knight in shining armour who prefers spending the night at the local Tavern alone rather than saving Damsels in distress.

If he saw a ferocious fire-breathing Dragon chasing a fair maiden, he'd probably exclaim in his trademark expression, "Eh, screw it" and get back to his mug of Ale. Or take out his medieval mobile-phone and start calling up all his friends mumbling incoherently about how the Dragon reminds him of his mid-life crisis and how there is no longer any fire burning...

He's like those comical balding middle-aged characters you find in a typical American TV sitcom whose attempt at dating other women always goes down the drain because he's too accustomed to being single, or being himself.

It's true, most of the friends I have today are people I came across on the Net. That includes Jimmy too. But however, Jimmy claims that he never met her online, and she too claims she hardly comes online. So the mystery question is, how did these two meet? I know for a fact that Jimmy has four active profiles at and two other matrimonial websites, but my cousin Ateii isn't the type of person who'd do that, so the question remains.

I still remember Jimmy telling me on the phone a long time back that he's never going to get married because marriage is such a rocky road and he has to sacrifice so many things, but he won't remember telling me that, if you know what I mean. (He also told me that his all-time favorite movie is "Brokeback Mountain" but he won't remember telling me that either.)

It's as if Jimmy suddenly woke up one fine morning, stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, and then threw his blanket down and jumped out of bed while uttering, "Eh, screw it. I'm getting married."

And after that, he roamed the streets of Aizawl, still in his flowery pyjamas and white VIP inner banian, armed with a club and a sack, hunting for a wife. You gotta cut Jimmy some slack because he hasn't dated anyone in a looooong time and he still thinks that's the method people use to look for a wife. I didn't have the heart to tell him that people today use AK-47s and grenades. Man, he's so prehistoric.

Anyway, he chanced upon the unfortunate Ateii during his hunt and whacked her real hard on the head and threw her inside his sack and carried her home; After that incident, one cannot really blame Ateii for falling for Jimmy. I am not talking about the Stockholm syndrome. Its the head injury I am talking about; I've heard of instances when people think they are Napoleon Bonaparte or Elvis Presley after a knock on the head...

Moving on to that day at "David's Kitchen", Ateii and I mentally connected immediately. Its a cousin-cousin thingie. I looked at her, raised my eyebrows and asked her through telepathy, "Why oh why, why Jimmy of all the people? Which part of him do you find attractive?" and she replied using the same telepathic channel, "Have you ever seen the movie King Kong?"

So here is me, raising my glass to the betrothed couple. Their marriage is on the 14th of May, at Delhi. Jimmy doesn't want to get married in Mizoram because he doesn't know how to say "I do" in Mizo, or something like that. *BIG GRIN* I wish them all the best in their endeavor.

Right now Jimmy is in Chennai, looking for a house to rent so that they can move there after the marriage. I tried calling him many times, but most of the time he is busy washing the dishes, scrubbing the floor, rinsing the clothes, sweeping the ceiling etc etc, which Ateii claims is "practice". Just a thought though: If Jimmy is already like this BEFORE the marriage, then may God have mercy on him after the marriage. :-)

All in all, I just hope doesn't become another We all know what happened to after the Admin got married (to LDP) - The website became defunct. Hopefully, won't go down that same path, and mercifully, maybe Ateii will allow Jimmy to come online everyday for at least 2 minutes. Keeping my fingers crossed here.

Hoping to make it to Delhi on the 14th. Might be a bit difficult, with so many other schedules and appointments to keep, but then, Eh, screw it.


Anonymous said...

It's a good good news...
Who's gonna be another one to bite the dust?

Jimmy said...

"Mama", i OVER lutuk.

Anonymous said...

ROFLLLLL tiang hian ka la nui nasa ngai looo. u BW chu le! akekeke. xiak thiam khop mai u Sandman.

Philo said...

"Jimmy doesn't want to get married in Mizoram because he doesn't know how to say "I do" in Mizo"--inspired!!

Almost Unreal said...

"Fu**ing sh*t..Jimmy is getting married", lolzzz

He called me up from Aizawl and said "I met this wonderful girl...blah blah"

The next time he called me up "You are going to be soooooo surprised"

anf the suprprise is this, I guess

Congrats, JIm

ka nui nasa bon...Jimmy nupui nei tur hi chu a nuihzatthlak ang reng..hahahahaha

and do try to make it to the wedding

What will i wear????


illusionaire said...

hehehehe.... trust me, the guy is full of surprises! *BIG GRIN*

Here is to you, brother. Cheers.

Sekibuhchhuak said...


Thiantha te nei tur bawl bawl lo khan...engtik nge i tih ve dawn tih lampang te pawh hiiiiii..:P haha.In fit lo si..haaa

illusionaire said...

lolz... nang angin ka hmanhmawh ve lova, ka tuah ve bawk lo. akekeke. a an zai lai post tu pawh kha nangmah tho a nih ka ring, hming dangin. hahahahaha

Sekibuhchhuak said...

hhaha..taktakin,muang fan raih in le..A tawpah tih tawk a awm an tih kh a tiraw..:)

hahha..ka in ringhlel rum rum mai:)

Almost Unreal said...

yup...surprised with his choice in the date and month to get married - mid May

hope the mercury doesn't shoot up to 45

finger crossed


illusionaire said...

@ seki: a tawp a TIH tur lam te i rawn la sawi vel, i rilru a bawlh hlawh lutukkkk :-)

@ almost: Kei chu mid-may a inneih a tum hi mak ka ti lo. Hemi zawh a aia lum Chennai ah an la chhuk dawn a, chuvangin Delhi Mid-may te mai mai chu "training" nan vek a lawm. Hihi.

DayDreamBeliever said...

Do I detect a note of envy behind it all, Mr. Sandman? lol

Congrats to BW and Ateii!

illusionaire said...

Yeah... I envy him geting married so much! All those sharing and caring mushy crap and sleepless nights due to arguments and endless orders from the wife to wash the utensils and sweep the floor etc. I so envy him! :-)

Zr-i said...

I was shocked..nooo..surprised wen i heard the news ..but boy am i glad that he's finally walking down the aisle! i still cant believe it :))))he may b a bachelor but he's still a kid n that's the biggie reason y he needs a wife, someone to take care of him. i'm really really happy for him

illusionaire said...

Funny how everyone seems to share that same thought, that Jimmy needs to be taken care of by somebody.... *GRIN*

Lal - Lucy said...

Haha.. That's Blackwhite? Dear old Blackwhite..I'd never 'ave thought... Congratulations to BW.

Kan ti ve toh mai dawn mi, Kim? Ka kezungpui hi a eng tran tlatin ka hria.....

Pixie said...

Please pass on my wishes to the lucky couple as well... :-)

illusionaire said...

@ lal-lucy: lolz. Yeah nobody can believe its our Blackwhite who's getting married. Yup its high time you too find somebody soon dear luce. Everybody's starting to calling you nula senior... :-)

@ Pixie: Of course I will :-) Now my friend will have to go through what you have gone through... :-)