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Saturday, May 03, 2008

Chp 171. Limericks of Mizo Onliners


Limericks! Love them. Traditional rule of Limericks states that in a 5-line Stanza, line number 1, 2 and 5 should rhyme, and likewise line 3 and 4 should rhyme, hence following the format A-A-B-B-A.

Well, here is my humble attempt at composing a few limericks of some of the regular Mizo onliners that I know (mostly from
misual.com, lawrkhawm.com and the unforgettable zoram.com and izawl.com days. *sigh*).

I found a lot of amazing people at all these websites, who became more than just online buddies to me. They became my best friends, my mentors, my siblings, and my soulmates, friends who made me smile and laugh and appreciate life. This is a tribute to all of you, in my own special way of light humor, and hoping to continue such a wonderful relationship for a long long time. Cheers.

-----------------------------------------------------------

There once was a guy called Jimmy,
whose face you'll find extremely funny.
He came to Aizawl looking for a bride,
but his true impulses he could not hide.
Now poor Ateii will soon be a mummy.

There once was a guy called Amos,
working in Bangalore like a horse.
Everytime he has a new girlfriend,
she dumps him over the weekend.
Ooops, there goes another he just lost.

There once was a girl called Cherrie,
always smiling and making merry.
She wore a spaghetti to class one day,
urging her students to have their say.
Too bad she didn't know, her armpits were hairy.

There once was a guy called Ben,
who really fancied a lot of women.
So he created misual.com,
hoping he will score at home.
3 years later he's still waiting for "it" to happen.

There once was a guy called Spikey,
break-dancing away in New Jersey.
He's really good at Bboying,
his back-flip spins are amazing.
Seems he's now going around with Britney.

There once was a guy called Aryan,
fighting with everyone, like the ancient Mayan.
Oh he praises Australia sooooo much,
criticizing every Mizo custom as such.
Now he's happily married, to an aussie called Ryan.

There once was a girl called Ammi,
a fashion designer with a slim tummy.
I always used go to her apartment just to chill,
b'coz there are many models there on the pill.
Now she no longer invites me to play rummy.

There once was a guy called Simjazz,
king of mizo IRC, loved by all the lass.
He was getting cosy with a sweet young girl,
in a cyber cafe and was just about to hurl,
but unfortunately due to his age, he passed gas.

There once was a guy called Alexxfender,
why the "double X" we always used to wonder.
And then Virgo told us the story,
about his short Hollywood history.
He once acted in a "movie" wearing only a suspender.

There once was a girl called Molotov,
a great photographer, she was no oaf.
Young men from afar came to her room,
hoping that she might select a groom.
But alas, when they saw her, away they drove.

There once was a guy called moimoi,
trust me, he's old, like a SantaClaus toy.
When we asked him his age,
he looked at us with full rage.
Then he took his walking cane and cried "Oi".

There once was a guy called Vana,
some might say his head's like a banana.
He works at Pachhunga College,
chasing girls who are half his age.
When we asked him why, he said b'coz he wanna.

There once was a guy called father_sphinx,
Young and a virgin, he approached a minx.
He may be the leader of the Sphinx Clan,
but whenever he speaks, all the girls ran.
So he cried, "Being only 16 is such a jinx."

There once was a girl called Shahnaz,
who went to Vienna to spend Christmas.
She usually gets her french wrong,
especially the words that are long.
She once asked what's a trois-à-ménage.

There once was a guy called The Chhamanator,
trying his best to look like the Terminator.
His girlfriend he tried to impress,
with shiny teeth and smart tress.
Too bad, she told him he looks like an alligator,

There once was a girl called Poison_ivy,
whose hair was all curled up and wavy.
One day she told her friend Jason,
that for him she has deep affection.
The next day, Jason went and joined the Navy.

There once was a girl called Jigry,
while she's at work, she's always hungry.
Working in AOL seems such a drab,
At the cafeteria, everything she grab.
When it comes to food, she got a Master's degree.

There once was a guy called Isaac,
who claims he's good in the sack.
You might know him as "Jupiter",
who loves to play his spanish guitar.
Too bad the guitar's a "part" of Jack.

There once was a girl called Cute_lady,
who detested anything that was shady.
She goes to Church regularly,
helping out all the Mizo elderly.
Until one day she got a proposal, from the priest's daddy.

There once was a guy called DaGGyLo,
partying like a dawg, flirting with the ho.
Believe me, he raps really well,
but only the GUYS find him swell.
Because from behind, he looks like J Lo.

There once was a guy called Bekang^roll,
oh man, he looks exactly like a Troll.
His drinks capacity you will doubt,
b'coz he always end up passing out.
That's his excuse, for putting it in the wrong hole.

There once was a girl called Jes,
A kind and loving mother no less.
She finally decided, "no more children",
because she can't handle all the burden.
Hence tonight, Rob's hand will be a mess.

There once was a guy called Rob,
an IAS he may be, but still a slob.
He said, "Don't steal other's girlfriend,"
"Because you will regret it in the end."
It's been 10 years, and Jes still screams out "Oh.. Bob".

There once was a guy called Zorun,
for many readers, he's a real boon.
He writes a levelheaded comment,
that is liked by everybody present.
But in his photos, damn he looks like a goon.

There once was a guy called Philo,
A great writer always on the go.
He has an immense vocabulary,
and sounds like a walking dictionary.
That's why he's still single, like The Simpson's Moe.

There once was a guy called Lal,
who is crazy about bekang and dal.
One night he was out with Miss Hmar,
who suddenly unbuttoned inside the car.
Within seconds, he crashed into a wall.

There once was a girl called superstar,
who lives at a locality very very far.
Whenever she says, "come over here"
we always ask if there will be beer.
Because you see, her fridge is a mini-bar.

There once was a guy called mnowluck,
when it comes to romance, he kinda suck.
He had an immense crush on superstar,
and sent her a heart made from tar.
Now everyone wonders, did he and she ....

There once was a guy called Sekibuhchhuak,
Its gonna be hard, to find what rhymes with "huak".
Anyway, he's from a place called Saikhamakawn,
where he tried to woo a girl just around dawn.
Too bad, when the girl saw him, she went "uaaakk".

There once was a girl called Virgochhas,
when it comes to love, she's really fast.
Everybody's scared to quarrel with her,
because when she talks, it's like thunder.
Now that she's married, some arguments she pass.

There once was a girl called Jinx,
working in China with all the Mings.
She had a crush on John for about a year,
so she showed him her nunchuks and spear.
Too bad John wasn't into those type of kinks.

There once was a girl called Jerusha,
who chanced to meet the Iranian Shah.
They dated each other in Hyderabad,
where she discovered something hard.
Now she's in Iran, working as a Geisha.

There once was a guy called Sandman,
Handsome and well-built like a He-Man.
All the women wants to marry him,
All the mothers want him as a son.
Ah, you really think I was going to make fun of myself? :-P

Cheers, and hope you like them. Peace out, everyone. Love you all.


50 comments:

benjamin rualthanzauva said...

ka mal chungah a thu a
kima hian a hre si lo!
ziak vak vak mai
tak tak va ang tak :-)

Samaw said...

Nice shot! for everyone!

Two stands out!

1). There once was a guy called Aryan,
Now he's happily married, to an aussie called Ryan.
lolz :)

2). There once was a guy called Sandman,
Handsome and well-built like a He-Man.
All the women wants to marry him,

I called them the two extremes! :D

illusionaire said...

@ Ben : lolzzzzzz. Am still in Mumbai (hopping between hospital and house) looking after my sis whose leg hasn't healed yet (in fact it got worse). So in a way, I got a lot of free time in my hand when she is sleeping. That's when I decided to come up with this post, and believe me, I've never enjoyed writing about anything as much as this particular post :-)

@ samaw: hihihi. Yeah I can see the extremity. Most people may not know, but Aryan is actually a very nice guy. But he just enjoys ticking off people online :-)

Joseph said...

There once was a guy called father_sphinx,
Young and a virgin, he approached a minx.
He may be the leader of the Sphinx Clan,
but whenever he speaks, all the girls ran.
So he cried, "Being only 16 is such a jinx."

- But one return :-)

illusionaire said...

hehe... she must be blind :-)

Sekibuhchhuak said...

Min van tiduhdah ve aaa..**Kutum hmuh chungin** :)))

Taktakin,fun,creative..Nice read pu.Kim:)There was once a guy called Sandman..tih hi ka ziah zawm teuh chak ngei mai...:))

Almost Unreal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Almost Unreal said...

There once was a girl called superstar,
who lives in a locality really posh.
Whenever she says, "come over here"
A friend called Sandman made a mini bar out of her fridge.
But she said "If a friend is happy, its fine". hihi

sawmpuia said...

phuah tha ve aw haha..izawl dotcom kha ngaihawm e. sandman/illusionaire tattoo lian deuh kha lolzz

Jerusha said...

Damn, I got a mere Shah, I thought I was going to get an Emperor.

Lucie said...

A va thra thei ve :D...Tunlai chu I lung a leng riau in ka hria..

mnowluck said...

sent her a heart made from tar.
Now everyone wonders, did he and she
..



a zei ve lo na in.. he put on lotcha effort a nih duh hmel.. ahahaaahaah.. ROTFLMAO!!!

I ngaihtuah peih maimai ka ti...I chim viau nih chuan kan veng ah lo leng rawh che...


..mostly from misual.com, lawrkhawm.com and the unforgettable zoram.com and izawl.com days. *sigh*). If I haven't been duped by you again.. we soon are gonna have Mrs.Lawrkhawm.com aight? We don't want lawrkhawm.com to be another zoram.com....

Jimmy said...

LOL bradar! I didn't come to aizawl "looking for a bride" as you have so conveniently :)

Jimmy said...

...as you have so conveniently "put it" :))

illusionaire said...

@ Jerusha: It has to rhyme with "Jerusha", you see. And "Emperor" doesn't rhyme with it. So for your name, the only thing that rhymes are "Shah", "Mullah", "Inshallah" and "Ayesha". Hmmm.... :-)

@ Lucie: eeeeeeeeeeee lal Lucy, I forgot to make a limerick about you! How could I forget that, oh most popular girl of zoram.com days! :-) Don't worry, I'll come up with one soon.

@ mnowluck: Yup, let's hope it doesn't become like zoram.com. But from what I've heard, the future Mrs.lawrkhawm.com walks around with a long whip and high leather boots. So... there's a chance we won't see Jimmy in the online world ever again :-)

@ Jimmy: It's just a limerick, brother. A harmless limerick. Don't get too emotional about it. Chill out. It's not the end of the World for you. Relax. Stop whinning... Jesus... :-)

illusionaire said...

@ sawmpuia: lolzzzzzzz nia izawl.com kha chu ngaihawm tak a ni. huisss. :-)

@ almost: eh, your limericks don't rhyme :-P Han try ve chhin teh, a nuam reuh zek, tiang ang phuah mai mai hi, A-A-B-B-A format in.

@ Sekibuhchhuak: lolz, nia han ziah zawm la. You are most welcome to do so. Keipawh "There was once a guy called Seki / John" limericks dang pawh ka la ngah khawp mai, ka publish loh. Jinx-i limericks khi enge i ngaihdan? :-)

vana said...

Sandman sakhming pu ka tawng a,
Laipui puak theilo tantu,
Naupang aia chithlum mum lawm,
Duat hliau nange ka nau
Sakhming chuailo tur Mizo net khawvelah
Ngal fim in dam reng rawh senvana.puc

DayDreamBeliever said...

kei chu ka la inkhekkhal....a let chu a na ngot ang,be warned!!! :P

Lulucie said...

Haha..Now you don't sweat about it, Young Gun.. I like being anonymous. I could just pee in the alley and who's ever gonna know about it? ;)

illusionaire said...

@ vana: lolzzzzzzz. Duh vak nange... "chase girls half his age" tih lai khi? Nia, tuna mi nen ngaihtuah chuan "double his age" lo tih zawk tur a lawm le, so sorry for the misinformation :-)

@ cherrie: wainch! A in dawt in an rawn comment vel, minute 14 gap inkarah a mai (minute 14 chu pakhat a log-out a pakhat a log-in leh hun te chauh a ni). Thil engemawni te min rawn "ohfik" an tum a ni, hemi te pahnih hi... :-D

@ Lucy: lolz. I am already on my "Mizo onliners limerick - II", and will publish it soon. Here is a sample from it.

There once was a girl called Lucy,
At zoram.com, she's always cold and icy.
So she decided to date,
hoping it will subdue her hate.
After that night, everybody called her Easy.

ChaoticSerenity said...

Brilliant!!

Shahnaz Kimi said...

Kima, min va ngam deuh ve aw...ka lo haw tep, ka zawng chhuak hrim2 dawn che...btw: what's a trois-à-ménage?? :-)

illusionaire said...

@ chaotic: TY :-)

@ Pi Shahnaz: lolz. Hmm... I dunno whats that either :)

Mos said...

there was once a lad called Kim
and all the lasses were after him
but then he met a guy named Jim
and now they live together in sin.

illusionaire said...

:-))) Ah, brother is back in action. lolz. Good one there.

molotov said...

"Young men from afar came to her room,
hoping that she might select a groom.
But alas, when they saw her, away they drove."


but
how did you
know? :[

ALEXXfender said...

A khaih a... Daggy-a hla chham tur i phuahsak a ni ngawt a lom... music video rawn buatsaih ve leh law law se mawle..
There once was a guy called Alexxfender,
why the "double X" we always used to wonder.
... a tir ah chuan triple X ngat a sin...

Puia said...

Ekhai, hotupa chu..va bei ril thei ve mawle.. ka hlimpui phian lehnghal a.. Nuih hi hriselna tha tak vaitamin a ni a, chu vaitamin chu lei dawn ila a to hle ngei ang..mahse nang chuan a thlawnin min pe tlat thung a.. Hotupa nge nge i lo ropui thin a.. thlalakah lah i dawh fuh thei ropui sia..:)

benjamin rualthanzauva said...

Aw Sandman
Aw Great Owl

Philo said...

Where the hell do you get time to cook up so many of those what do you call...limericks? Is that word in the dictionary??

There once was man called Sandman
Who'd intended to walk all the way to Iran
On the way he did find
He'd all along been heading to Taiwan
What the hey! keep on and you'll eventually make it to Iran.

And don't forget to enjoy the journey until you land that still elusive job.

The Chhamanator said...

No Comment

illusionaire said...

@ Molotov: There is nothing to know. I lied. :[

@ Alexxfender: Haha. XXX atangin XX ah an lo demote che a ni maw? Natinge? A ding thei tawh thlawt lo a mi? *GRIN* Nia Daggylo pawh hi a rawn la lang miah lova, a rawn kal hunah Rap tir i la a tha ang. Good suggestion. :-)

@ zorun: Hehehehe. Nang hotupa ber hian ngaihnawm leh nuihzathlak i lo ti te chu a va ropui thin e aw, ka tan chuan. A lawmawm khawp mai, tiang ang min lawmpui te hi. Fiamthu hi ka nun na chhan ber te a ni in ka hria, a chang chuan :-)

@ Ben:
Aw benjamin,
Aw Great Bowl :-)

@ Philo: I am in mumbai looking after my bed-ridden sister who met with an accident. So I have quite a number of free time on my hand when she is resting, as I have to remain by her bedside the whole time.

@ the chhamanator: Thanx for the no comment comment :-)

Azaia said...

Bena tlar leh Ammi tlar khi ka tran ber..

Azaia said...

ohh hey.. Mumbai chu eng nge an a? Boruak a zai khai deuh em? sik leh sa vel te?? good luck..break some heart.. lolzz

Becky said...

Ben:Aw Sandman
O Great Owl

Sandman:Aw Benjamin
O Great Bowl...
tih lai comment a mi hi ka va han lom reuh tak...
Sandman I va chang thiam ve a ben a chu...

Ziak thra khop mai:)

illusionaire said...

@ Pu Chabetkai : Hehehe... khimi te pahnih tan khing words in rhyme ka hmuh fuh chu keipawh ka nui nasa ve lutuk ka phuah lai in. lolz. Will definitely look for some hearts to break here in Mumbai. lolz.

@ Becky: Thank you thank you Becky. Hope you too update your blog in the near future. Thanx for the visit!

vana said...

Hey mate, its fine whatever. Nice work. Any wy lemme mention 1 thing, plizz mi blog ah chuan in fiam loh hi a tha, Lets be serious, fiamthu hun a awm a, miin tha taka an ziah a, fiamthu lam nilo, chuta coment hnu a in coment chawn vak hi a mawilo e. Te ka ti mai mai a nih chu

life10 said...

lolzzz...talent you have...but made me wonder how a classy couple like us ended having a trash for a friend, who everytime he writes about us writes of a "mess in hand"lolzzz..amusing work...i hman lutuks...
life10 here

Poison_Ivy said...

lolol lalkim,like you couldnt find anything better to write bout me ehhh :p

DaGGyLo said...

Yo! Wat we got outta here..NICE LIMERICKS! *Clap,clap*
Btw,Can i marry ya brain?! :-P

Jinx said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jinx said...

There was once a guy called Kima,
Who attempted to ride a Karisma;
Intending to impress the womenfolk,
Flaunted around the block.
Too bad, the girls think he looks like a chacma. :P

John a chu mo, alo palo ru riau a. Nunchaku leh spear tihvel ai chuan rose par leh chocolate vel hian a lung a len zok..lolz!

Grrr, ka ning top proxy hman hi. Thon amo tihin thon lova. Hei chu lo thlen toh ngei ka beisei :(

illusionaire said...

@ vana: Nia, ka thiamloh a ni e. Comment section a in kah te hi, public viewing a nih vang hian, a mawiloh hun hi a awm fo a, kei hian ka lo theihnghilh leh thin a lawm. It is criticisms like yours that makes me look for more improvements. Thank you. Ni dangah chuan comment section leh mi blog comment sectionah in chhaih/kah vel pawh lo in sum leh zual ka tum ang. Uncomfortability caused deeply regretted, pu Van.

@ life10 & u Rob: Bon Voyageeeee!!! Was sure glad we could all talk last night before your flight. Have a safe trip, a WONDERFUL vacation, and make sure u Rob doesn't drool at all those fine young firm sap chhasses! :-)

illusionaire said...

@ poison: Which part didn't you find good about yourself? The hair part or the jazz part? :-)

@ Daggylo: Hahaha. Sorry, my brain is already committed. lolz.

@ Jinx: Love your limerick! Nice ring to it too.

John-a chu nia a pa ve thin riau in ka hria a, mahse tun tum SKK atanga a rawn haw leh chiah kha chuan... rose leh barbie hi a ni ringawt. Mahse... thil hi sawi tam lo mai i la... :-)

Hersh Shintre said...

Hi, cool blog. I ended up here while reading about North-East India lol.

opahmar said...

There once was a guy called Kima
Looks sorta like Dalai Lama
Calls himself the sandman
Handsome & well built loke He-Man?
Naah...typical momma's boy, fav of his Ma!

Luce said...

"There once was a girl called Lucy,
At zoram.com, she's always cold and icy.
So she decided to date,
hoping it will subdue her hate.
After that night, everybody called her Easy."

"SNEER"

Lucy was warm, vivacious, adventurous, Fun-loving and care-free. Still is. Now single and ready to mingle.

Yes, I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne.
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon, and cut through all this red tape.
At a bar called O'Malley's, where we'll plan our escape.
:D

ThugAngel said...

No Comments brotha Cuz u don't remember me??? :(

Thug"Da matha F@cking"Angel aka Hipholik hahahhahahaa

illusionaire said...

@ Hersh: Thank you for dropping by! Hope you come visit again :-)

@ opahmar: lolzzzzz. Good one! :-)) Kinda actually says what I really am too :-)

@ Luce: Hahahaha you didn't find the part funny about Lucy being easy? lolz. I like that kinda sarcasm because everybody knows how not-easy you are.

@ Thuggie: You're back! Sorry bro, I couldn't come up with anything that rhymes with ANGEL and that would make a coherent limericks. Thats why I left out another onliner LOVINGANGEL too :-)

ThugAngel said...

hahhaha LovingAngel te chu sawi vak tur chuang a awm em ni?? ehemszzz

tak2 ana...min chhuah chhe lova ka lawm e...ka Blok chu IE atangin ahnok nuaih zel Mozilla atang chiahin a dik thei..mak thei lutuk.......