One thing I have definitely learnt from life – The longer you stay single and not get married, the more “damlai lu suns” you’ll get.
“Damlai lu sun” [Mizo] literally means… “Mourning the death of somebody who is not dead”.
It is an “ancient Mizo custom” (though of course not the kind that is officially written down and strictly adhered to types, if you know what I mean) and I am here to share with my beloved readers what it means and signifies.
According to our tradition, when an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend gets married, it is called a “damlai lu sun”. It means she or he is dead to you because of the marriage with another person. And so friends tease you about it, fry you non-stop, and just like a typical funeral where you give flowers as means to pay your respect and give your condolences to the dearly departed, in this case, friends give you a 50 paise coin, 1 rupee coin, etc.
It is a very commonly practiced Mizo tradition
Likewise, this doesn’t apply to just ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends. Suppose you have this immense deep crush on somebody and that somebody marries somebody else, you’ll find your friends coming over on the day of their wedding and giving you 10p, 50p coins etc and acting “genuinely” sorry about the “sad demise” while trying to hold back a laughter or two.
[Example: OPa Hmar: Damlai lu sun – Mourning the Living]
And of course you’ll be the butt of all jokes for that entire day.
Such is the cruelty of our culture
Harsh, brutal, savage and barbaric. Friends are there to lighten up your darkest days, and they are also there to take your trip and make fun of you in the meanest way possible at times like this. Ah, friends.
But then, just like anything else, you move on, ignoring the jests and trying to change the subject. The only way you can ever avoid such a crude roast is to get married before your ex does. Lolz. But seriously, that is indeed the only way. Once married, your ex will be the one tormented by her friends, and not you. And you’ll also be immune to any further roasting because once married, you no longer have any “mourning” to do even if your ex’es get married later. After all, you now have your spouse.
So that is me sharing some of our “Mizo custom” with my readers. It is our intrinsic way of bonding with close friends, I suppose.
And to celebrate this Music Monday, I am dedicating this song to all the lovers out there, new and old, that whether you have an old flame or lost somebody you love or you are currently with the one you love, in the end, you’ll all be seeing each other again on the other side. And we’ll all be playing hopscotch together on that reunion. Lolz.
Here you go – my favorite song from Ozzy – See You On The Other Side.
Ps. I want this song to be played on my funeral. I’ve been in love with this song for more than a decade now, and I still am!