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Monday, July 20, 2009

Chp 254. MM: See You On The Other Side.

One thing I have definitely learnt from life – The longer you stay single and not get married, the more “damlai lu suns” you’ll get.

“Damlai lu sun” [Mizo] literally means… “Mourning the death of somebody who is not dead”.

It is an “ancient Mizo custom” (though of course not the kind that is officially written down and strictly adhered to types, if you know what I mean) and I am here to share with my beloved readers what it means and signifies.

According to our tradition, when an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend gets married, it is called a “damlai lu sun”. It means she or he is dead to you because of the marriage with another person. And so friends tease you about it, fry you non-stop, and just like a typical funeral where you give flowers as means to pay your respect and give your condolences to the dearly departed, in this case, friends give you a 50 paise coin, 1 rupee coin, etc.

It is a very commonly practiced Mizo tradition

Likewise, this doesn’t apply to just ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends. Suppose you have this immense deep crush on somebody and that somebody marries somebody else, you’ll find your friends coming over on the day of their wedding and giving you 10p, 50p coins etc and acting “genuinely” sorry about the “sad demise” while trying to hold back a laughter or two.

[Example: OPa Hmar: Damlai lu sun – Mourning the Living]

And of course you’ll be the butt of all jokes for that entire day.

Such is the cruelty of our culture

Harsh, brutal, savage and barbaric. Friends are there to lighten up your darkest days, and they are also there to take your trip and make fun of you in the meanest way possible at times like this. Ah, friends.

But then, just like anything else, you move on, ignoring the jests and trying to change the subject. The only way you can ever avoid such a crude roast is to get married before your ex does. Lolz. But seriously, that is indeed the only way. Once married, your ex will be the one tormented by her friends, and not you. And you’ll also be immune to any further roasting because once married, you no longer have any “mourning” to do even if your ex’es get married later. After all, you now have your spouse.

So that is me sharing some of our “Mizo custom” with my readers. It is our intrinsic way of bonding with close friends, I suppose.

And to celebrate this Music Monday, I am dedicating this song to all the lovers out there, new and old, that whether you have an old flame or lost somebody you love or you are currently with the one you love, in the end, you’ll all be seeing each other again on the other side. And we’ll all be playing hopscotch together on that reunion. Lolz.

Here you go – my favorite song from Ozzy – See You On The Other Side.

Ps. I want this song to be played on my funeral. I’ve been in love with this song for more than a decade now, and I still am!

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benjamin rualthanzauva said...

"It is a very commonly practiced Mizo tradition"

never heard of it before

benjamin rualthanzauva said...

I was looking forward to a list of your ex-gfs, crushes who had married with their passport size pictures :-) and how many got their name tattooed in your body :-)

Mizohican said...


I don't have any such list. Just 2 names don't make a list. :D Mizo mipa luck ang kan ni ve looooo. That is why I spend so much time online :-)

Hriatpuia Pa said...

haha, tha leh pek e. I hla erawh chu ka ngaithla ta lo mai.

A chang chuan a 'harsh' ve thin a, mahse hetianga kan ti hi a brutal lova, a savage lova,a barbaric bawk lo!! :D. Dik tak chuan hetianga kan infiam ngam hi chuan kan inngaina takzet tawh tihna a ni. Thian kawmngeih tak tak loh te chu tih chi loh raaap!

Tin, pa nih tawh hnu pawh hian, 'hmana mi' khan pasal a neih chuan thian thenkhatte chu an la uang fo tho. You cannot avoid those sarcastic act by a friend even after you get married..Hotupa. A uang zual hi chu an la awm tho tho.

dr_feelgood said...

'Pawngsen tlaivar'is another expression used under similar condition. The guy Pawngsen lost a lover and on the night of their wedding, he stayed up all night(tlaivar) moping about while the other guy stayed up the whole night for a completely different reason!

Malsawmi Jacob said...

Never came across this. Must be a new tradition coined by the young generation. Guess i grew old before it started.

erick said... got a rock man !! NICe song !

OpaHmar said...

Just 2 names????must be tatooed on both cheeks??and i dont mean ur face!
"It is a very commonly practiced Mizo tradition"..maybe a modern tradition..if there is such a thing

But true, it can be crushing to certain ppl, so best done in moderation

And btw, browsing thru past chapters may reveal a thing or two about this elusive list...(chuckles)

mnowluck said...

I love this song too.. I can relate to this song as I've lost 2 of my friends already.. plus my two shields .. Dad and Gmom

Eh! did i hear something about Seki? :P

Mizohican said...

@ Opa Hmar: haha... please... go ahead... turn all my previous chapters inside out. You will come across just two names :-)

@ erick: hey, love your MM too :-) Thats my fav from Eagles. So, there aren't that many rock songs this MM? We gotta change it then! :D

@ mnowluck: Yup it is a very good farewell song, especially a song dedicated to the dearly departed. The way the song starts in that trademark Ozzy voice... voices... a thousand thousand voices... whispering... the time has passed for choices... mannnn it is just too damn poignant! :(

And of course, this post is dedicated to Seki, who is our "damlai lu sun" pa :D

Mizohican said...

@ mesjay: hehehe I dunno but I have come across this practice ever since I was a li'l kid... around early 80s. I think it was our driver who told me what it means and what one is suppose to do when this time arises. lolz.

@ dr_feelgood: Ah, Pawngsen tlaivar is a good one! And lolz I seriously hate to be in that guy's shoes, being up the whole night thinking of the groom who is also up the whole night, but for a different reason. L-O-L-Z!!!

@ Zaia: Nia Hotupa, in kah nat lutuk te hi chu kan Mizo mizia a nia :) a barbaric etc vel kan tihna khi chu sarcastic deuhvin a nia. Mahse Patling tawh te pawh in lo in kap ve tho a ni maw? Ekhai ka lo hre reng reng hlei nem. Mahse, ngaihtuah chuan a ni ve khawp mai. Pa te thian leh thian pawh an in kah fo hmel, nupui hriat phak lo vah. :D

V.el.P.E said...

wonder how many 'damlai lu' have you 'suns'....hehehe..i'll be like all the other girls out there, no need to change my link again..'tih tam' i am, right??B)

Unknown said...

Very interesting custom, thanks for enlightening me! I'd never heard this Ozzy song before...

Kimberly@PrettyPinkMomma said...

I really enjoyed reading about this tradition! So glad I'm married because I'm sure that I would have been the brunt of many jokes - I tend to crush a lot!

Anonymous said...

hi... just dropping by!

Faisal Admar said...

Great choice for the funeral :)
But eh... is it for real funeral?
Or still with the concept?

Sekibuhchhuak said...

E Heeee !! Haha..Mahni dam lai lusun thup tum nan thiante han puh kual vel hi chu aw!!

July 15 kha chuan buhhawp pawh i lem thei ngut in ka ring lo! Lapochini pawh i hmuam zawp peih lo ang (haha)

Apawilo, keini 'unau' pahnih ( sisters) zawng, hetiang reng tur hian kan lo pianga nih hi (haha)

Hmana 'A' blog atanga thlalak ka saved kha ka rawn post dawn mawn le :-) Room thlak tlak ve leh Tlangnuam view vel ami kha (haha)

Mariuca said...

Happy MM Sandman, so when are u gonna settle down and get hitched? ;)

Mariuca said...

And thanks so much for the new badge, from now on I'll be using that one for all your chops woo hoo! :)

Mimihrahsel said...

Bro, don't want to think about your funeral yet

@Sekibuhchhuak: Tell me more, tell me more! :-D

Naupang^Fel said...

Hehe.. reminds me of never something tattoo :)

mnowluck said...

aha.. on reading the comments I know that there are two "Damlai lusun" here :P..

Tell us more is all ears now.. will subscribe to the comments feeds :D

@illusionaire: Yep! There's none like Ozzy and none will ever compare to him. If you want his songs I have all. FEel free to drop by with your Pendrive :)

Blind Dayze said...

Ozzy Osbourne yessss!!!!!! just love this song.. [and most of his other songs OzzyFanboy]read somewhere that he's searching for a new guitarist..n Zakk Wylde's no more in the picture..

No comments on the Damlai lu sun from me :-) . But hey maybe now i just might ask family to play an Ozzy song too.. Crazy Babies ..[never say die..]when i die..Cheers..

VaiVa said...

Dam rei deh hi chu insun mawlh mawlh dawn ani hi! "Let the best man win!" ti leh mai ang! Mah se, "But, how???" kha****

Bro, leave the virtual and come on to the atk ram... chuti lo zawng! Damlai lu chuah ni lo in 'Thih thlengin lu hi kan sun palh ang e. Chunglam a sawi ang deuh, mi dang hi kan puh leh zeih zeih reng si reng kual vel palh ang! :D

luliana said...

hihi...mi hi ka 'ral' teuh tawh, mahse vawikhat chiah 'ral'a la tawk ve...nuam ve mai mai2 :D

btw, i like this song :)

Eveline said...

Damn! Should've cashed in on this a long time ago; I'd be rich by now... :D

Of course, if this 'custom' of yours takes off then i'll have to settle into a passionless connection and overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics if i dont want to be laughed at! Luckily i'm not that much of a sucker. :)

Awesome track! I think i very much like your taste in music. :)

Mos-a said...

Chaltlang Kohhran Hall ah an la innei zui... :D

A said...

Interesting perception you have there.. :D

And yes, friends.. Can't live with them, can't live without them.. :D

Am not a huge fan of Ozzy Osbourne, he creeps me out.. :-P but Happy MM! :)

odzer said...

I love the tradition. I think in a way your blog post has made me feel really good because I have been feeling a bit "under" lately. When you are near the dreaded 30, you start feeling the need to settle down finally. I guess you also suddenly become more aware of your own mortality. I like the mock funeral because it shows in a way the importance of not clinging to people and things. I would love to hear about more Mizo traditions.

Mizohican said...

@ V.el.P.E: Hahaha. Nopes. Don't have such damlai to suns :D

@ AMH615: This Ozzy number truly rocks. Thanks for stopping by :-)

@ Kimberly: Thanks for reading. It is a very interesting tradition :-) And yes, its good that you are married now. No more frying by friends! :-)

@ Brian Kinney: Nah, its just the concept. But I really do want this song to be played! :)

@ Sekibuhchhuak: Hahahaha!!!! Nia, unau dang kan zawng dawn nia. lolz. i rawn "E Heeee" dan khi ka duh lutuk! Hahaha!

@ Mariuca: I'm still a cowboy, Marz. lolz. Yeah, me will settle down soon actually. The clock is ticking. hehehe. And glad you like the badge :-)

Mizohican said...

@ Mimihrahsel: Hush, sis. You don't have to know everything. lolz. Seki won't tell, I can assure you that. haha!

@ Naupang^fel: That never is a never. So never mention that never here. lolz :D

@ Mnowluck: Yup I too have all his songs. Love Ozzy!!!! And who are the two damlai lu suns here? One is of course Seki. Who is the other one? :-P

@ Blind Dayze: Your new post on Rock music and satanism is very interesting. Have made it one of the post of the week at if you don't mind. Will come by and comment later, its almost 1 AM and am still in office! On a saturday niteeee! Need to get a life. lolz.

@ VaiVa: The virtual world is funnnnnn. hehehehehehe. See you in Church tomorrow.

@ luliana: Vawikhat chauh mi in an ral che chu i luck tih na ni lovin, i lucklo tihna a ni zawk lo maw? :D

@ Eveline: See, we hit off so well on some fields, maybe you should rethink about staying in Bangalore and consider moving to Mumbai. :-D

@ Mos-a: Shoooooooo.

@ Ane: lolz. Yeah Ozzy may be creepy to some people. He really is. But his songs are just amazingggg! :) Thanx for stopping by, Ane.

@ Odzer: Yup, I guess this definitely cheers up people rather than wallowing in our self pity. But then of course, sometimes when the would hasn't healed completely, it hurts like hell. lolz. But then of course, I won't know :D

faka said...

Is it also true that being a damlai lusun many times means you are a tlangval/nula luck?:) Fortunately or unfortunately, I have never come across being teased as a damlai lusun anyway.

Morgoth said...

I've heard of the expression and I had even console many of my buddies who are victims. hehe. But never me in the past or in the future till eternity. :)
Regarding that song I'd prefer Die Die My Darling (Metallica's Cover in Garage Inc.) or Nsync's Bye Bye Bye (For boy band's fanatic like you)

Peer Gynt said...

Haha! This reminds me of a friend who nearly got rich in mourning...he had a lot of heart to go around :D

...also takes me back to a song from the ol' Mary Mount songbook (was struck by the connection, as i read your post) -

"I wish I was single again, again
I wish i was single again!
For when i was single,
my pockets would jingle,
I wish I was single again!

"My wife, she died oh then, oh then
My wife, she died, oh then
My wife, she died,
And I laughed till I cried,
I wish i was single again!"

(Ends with him marryin "The Devil's Grandmother" and wishin he was single, all over, again!!)

Hmm..prhaps there's a moral to this song after all! ;)

Puia said...

Ka va khawngaih che ve aw hotupa chu. I han sawihmang atang ringawt pawh hian a riruang chu a hriat thiam mai theih a, lungngai suh, hmeichhia leh bus te um tur a ni lo reng reng, a dang a lo kal zel mai alawm..:)

Mizohican said...

@ faka: heheheheh.... yeah I think being teased with damlai lu suns actually mean you're lucky... better than not being teased at all. lolz. But it really hurts when the teasing happens, and that cannot be avoided.

@ Morgoth: LOLZ!!! Boyband fanatic??? hehehe. And have you listened to the original "Die Die My Darling", I think it was the Misfits or one of those bands in that era. Very different. lolz.

@ Peer Gynt: lolzzzzzz. Prolly. In fact one of my closest friends who commented above, and whom I replied with a "Shooooooo" is extremely rich, if I am speaking the same language you are. He's a Billionaire. lolz.

@ Puia: HAHAHA rawn sual suh Hotupa. No further comment. lolz. Good advice by the way. Mahse.... ka bus chu a rawn thleng daih tawh ;-)

ZerO said...

Yea, have to tell us how many gfs got their names tattooed in yr body?? I know one only :-)