Photobucket had recently changed their policy and now all the images from my 650+ blog posts are disabled. I am slowly editing them by moving my images to my own server at AWS, but it will take time. In case there is a particular old post you want to see the images of, kindly drop me a mail at and I'll keep that at a high priority. Thank you.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Chp 232. Are you (alcoholic) manic depressive?

A couple of masturbations ago, I wrote about how creative people are highly prone to mental breakdown - Creative people & Mental breakdown

I mentioned briefly about Elizabeth Gilbert’s pep-talk on how creative people should deal with stress, and also asked whether bipolar disorder causes an increase in creativity or whether those who have exceptional levels of creativity are prone to developing bipolar disorder.

(And if my opening line “A couple of masturbations ago” is still lingering at the back of your head and bothering you, relax. It’s just a test to see if you are able to concentrate on a topic or not - something that many people suffering from manic depression are unable to do so.)

I came across this site “All about Life” while I was researching on this topic. What is downright scary is that I have all the symptoms for Manic Depression listed on that site!

But then again, just like horoscopes where every predictions apply to just about anybody regardless of whether the person belongs to a particular sun sign or not, such medical symptoms too apply to many people who DO NOT suffer from that particular disease.

Given below are the symptoms of Manic depression:

1. Increased energy, activity, and restlessness

YES. I am usually in an extremely restless mode. This has been much more prominent ever since I joined this industry. When I spend the weekends at my friends’ places, they all tell me the same thing, that I am highly hyperactive throughout the day & night, and warn me that it will be tough for me to find a life partner because she will find it difficult keeping up with all the things that I do!

2. Excessively ‘high,’ overly good, euphoric mood

YES. Our former Branch Head officially announced that “I was high on Life”! As soon as I wake up early in the morning, I can listen to my favorite Heavy Metal song and head-bang all the way to work. Put me in the center of a party and I will create the loudest noise. “Do you ever get tired?” is the question I hear the most.

3. Distractibility, can’t concentrate well

YES. Especially if there is a you-know-who wearing a you-wish-none inside my head. Apart from that, I have the habit of zoning out completely while I am in the middle of something else. There I was suddenly watching the ants crawling on the wall and mindlessly staring at them and wondering who the leader among those ants was and if they had individual names, mesmerized by the rhythm and pattern of their tiny feet movement which were almost hypnotic and taking me through a psychedelic trance, when suddenly the missus screamed out, “Are you done yet?”

4. Racing thoughts and talking very fast

YES. YES. YES. Many times I end up blabbering because my tongue cannot keep up with the words that flood my head. Sometimes I skip total sentences on the phone, so while it makes perfect sense to me, the other person on the line is completely lost! (To my dear friend somewhere out there: When I said “I wonder what you’re wearing in the middle of the night”, I actually meant to say “I wonder what the church has to say about the fact that you’re practicing voodoo while wearing those weird cult dresses in the middle of the night”.)

5. Jumping from one idea to another

YES. And in my line of work, this is a necessity sometimes. Open your mind and think out of the box. Build up one idea from the other until you create a giant idea - A killer concept.

6. Little sleep needed

YES!!! People are often shocked when they find out I sleep just 4-5 hours a day, and sometimes even less. I always thought it was a habit, after all I used to be a sportsperson back in school & college and sleep was a luxury I couldn’t afford because I wanted to perform well in academics while taking part in tournaments at the same time.

7. Increased sexual drive

Sexual drive? YES! After all, I am only human just like everybody else (including my neighbor’s dog that just won’t stop humping the poor telephone pole). Increased sexual drive? Hmmm… that’s difficult to say. As the saying goes, “It takes two to tango and conclude if the other person’s sexual drive has increased or not.” Ok I just made the last part up, but you catch my drift right?

8. Spending sprees

YES oh YES! One of my many weaknesses, because… confession time: I love shopping! I may be one of the very few guys who love to shop, although I shop like how typical guys shop “Look – Love – Buy - Leave”. I hate bargaining or looking around for better items, but nevertheless I always hit the mall twice or thrice a week.

9. Poor judgment

YES. I’ve always judged my relationships to be true and ever-lasting, and that I’ve finally met THE ONE. But in the end I’m always proven wrong, usually with a broken heart or a broken arm, or both.

10. Unrealistic beliefs in one’s abilities and powers

YES. I’ve always dreamt of flying and saving damsels in distress by the hundreds, even today, like a modern day Superman (not so much the cross-dressing part though). Back when I was a child, I used to fantasize about being either Flash Gordon or Conan the Barbarian. Loved those two characters and I still do even today! I’d give anything to be in their shoes (or Conan’s huge furry & smelly boots for that matter).

11. Extreme irritability

YES. And I kinda blame the Industry I’m in for this. There is nothing more irritating than coming up with a brilliant pitch/campaign and everybody loves it including your harshest critics and even the people you know from competing advertising agencies love it and you are damn sure this will definitely sell so you slog your ass off day in and night out to make it absolutely perfect… BUT in the end, dear client simply cannot see the logic behind it and rejects the proposal. Aaaaarghhh!

12. Provocative, intrusive, or aggressive behavior

YES …sometimes. I can control my temper now, pretty well. Back in college, I held the dubious distinction of being ejected from a basketball match the most number of times. Seldom was a match played where I was inside till the very last second! But then, those were the days I could dunk, and just like how I cannot even jump 1 feet above the ground now, my anger is nowhere to be seen today.

13. Abuse of drugs, particularly cocaine, alcohol, and sleeping medications

YES. And I need not elaborate on this.

14. Denial that anything is wrong

YES, so says my mother, every time she wants to win an argument

Now wait a minute… yeah even all my ex’es used to say the same thing!

“Something is wrong with our relationship!”
“No darling, nothing is wrong.”

One week later…
“Kim, I am going to Darjeeling for the weekend with… John.”
“Sure honey, there is nothing wrong in that. Enjoy.”

One month later…
“Kima, I’m pregnant. With John’s child.”
“That’s lovely, sweetheart. See, there is nothing wrong with our relationship!”

15. Lasting period of behavior that is different from usual

YES. Like how my closest friends say about me, I am definitely not predictable. In fact one of my ex-girlfriends told me I was boring because my unpredictability is so predictable! (Women - who will ever understand them?) I get bored easily with anything that I do (which should not be mistaken for “I lose interest”) Hence I do other things, a lot of other things, and get back to the first thing only later. Like that I keep rotating things around me so as not to slip into insanity.


There you have it on paper. I’m manic depressive according to the website, although I’m sure many of you would have said YES to most of the points as well.

So, how about you?

If you are extremely stressed with work, do the above test and let me know how you fare. How many NOs and YESes do you have for the above 15 points? Would love to hear your elaboration too.



Rinoma said...

once again.. very interesting one... rock on my fellow Gunner

Pixie said...

I was wondering just now, why you have posted and here you go posting on - Manic Depression!!!

Really? :P

But, its a good post - not really sure how realiable it is though.

illusionaire said...

@ Rinoma: thank you :-) Gunners woohooo! :D

@ Pixie: Most of these sites are unreliable as they are extremely general, just like most horoscopes. Nevertheless it scares me a bit when I first read it! :-)

vana said...

Bro, out of the fifteen yes you have answered i can agree with you in 12, does that makes me less maniac?

My personal opinion, this symptoms may not be actually maniac depression, but a quality that we share, seriously peeps!

Philo said...

Profusely Freudian, deeply disturbing! Call 999-100-HELP!!

Anonymous said...

Check that out and score.. My RAW score was 43 so I guess im depressive without the manic.. hehe..
BTW.. whats with your obsession with Manic Depression, dude?? Mid-life crisis hits everyone.. we're in the same boat, don't sweat it.. :P

Anonymous said...


Jerusha said...

I think 80% of 'depressed' people either consciously or unconsciously "decide" to be depressed.

I got a raw score of 38 on blackestred's test - no psychopathology. Which I knew already. Wouldn't it be worrying if I had to depend on a test/other people to know if I was happy or depressed? :P

Pixie said...

yea.. I mean, if you keep saying yes to all the questions or most of them and the answer to that leads you to belive that you are manic depressive?!!!

It's better to get clinical tested if you DO have serious doubts and not try and follow random websites' advice...

illusionaire said...

@ Vana: I agree bro. And this is a very common trait among many of the people working in my organization so I guess it is right to a certain degree although it may or may not be related to the actual disease.

@ Philo: lolz. No balance :-D

@ Blackestred: I went to the site but no result showed. Must be my browser problem or Adblock stopping the javascript in that page :-( Its not mid-life crisis. Its kid-life crisis. lolz.

@ Jerusha: One thing very interesting about Manic depression is that there is a high and a low phase. I have been experiencing a lot of highs ever since joining this Industry, and I hope the low part never shows up! :-) I love being high. lolz.

@ Pixie: You sound just like my big sis :D

Pixie said...


chhangte_ll said...

That everybody is a Schizophrenic doesn't need further proof. Why don't you try 'Psychological Disorder' Book by any reputed American (They are the best) Author.

Buying Spree: That's Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder :D Beyond this, my memory is foggy. It's been 9 years since I touch my other optional - Psychology :D

Eveline said...

Oh this aint good!
so... I think i mite be a teensy weensy bit manic depressive or maybe a whole lot..

Isn't that great news?? :P

I think lots of people have bouts of such symptoms at some point in their life. I had a friend, who had bi-polar disorder and the disease ruined our friendship.

What matters is that you never let those symptoms overtake you. And even if they do... i'll still read your very awesome blog! :P

aduhi said...

8 out of 15. I think I'm teetering on the edge

Just a grail said...

OMG you had me at "a couple of masterbations ago" when I stopped laughing, I started reading again only to start laughing again.

A friend of mine is a big fan of Web MD and has been known to have pretty much every ailment known to man (and some that aren't!!)

After reading the symptoms, I fear I am also manic depressive and apparently a nymphomanic. Great.

Zorami said...

7/15 ,a possibility of it coming up to 10/15 once I start workingn understand the true meaning of stress :) A small advice from my side: U can start thinking about ur health post 40. Get more sleep and cut down on the liquid intake.

odzer said...

I am not so sure about Manic Depression but are you a hypochondriac and do you suffer from anxiety :-)

He he he.

I liked the opening line by the way. May be you could use that in an ad campaign. It should certainly stir things up a bit.....

illusionaire said...

@ Pixie: *GRIN* :-)

@ Chhangte_II: I am not a shopaholic though I love shopping :) And OCD is far from this obsession, but I used to have slight OCD back in school like following the exact same routine every morning, afraid that if I break that routine and do it in some other order, something bad will happen to me! :) lolz, psycho was your optional? Wow. I heard people of your era usually took Mizo and Socio as optionals as they were the most "scoring".

@ Eveline: Yup it is indeed important that we do not let it come in our way, though sometimes that may be easier said than done. By the way... are you going to Goa Fest 2009? :-)

@ Aduhi: I will welcome thee with open arms :)

illusionaire said...

@ Just a grail: lolz, where in my post did you find me analyzing nymphomania anywhere??? lolzzz. :D Hey, just a passing thought. What if one is really a nymphomaniac and a manic depressive at the same time? Would the ups and downs synchronize with the highs and lows??? *BIG GRIN*

@ Zorami: Liquid intake? you mean water, pepsi, juice etc? Yeah don't worry, those I am not drinking much ;)

@ Odzer: lolz, yeah now that you mentioned it, it reminds me of that Burger Billboard Ad (I cant remember which one) that goes (in huge font size) : "SEX!" And below that in small letters: "Now that we have your attention, do step in for a quick bite of our juicy burgers". lolz! :-D

Lucy said...

Hahaha... I'm curious about the "masturbation" hahaha...Can I ask?

Sekibuhchhuak said...

Big Boss, Heta i rawn ziah lan ang hian i awm mek anih chuan. manic-depressive (hypomanic) lam ai mahin, Bipolar depression lam huangah i awm hmel mah mah zawk in ka hria :-)

Engpawhnise, No: 9-na hi anih duh hmel khawp mai :-))

Hahchawlhna hun tha, boruak dang deuh hip te pawh i mamawh ani mei thei e :-)

Melissa said...

I agree, a lot of these so called symptoms can also just be personality traits or qualities. Try picking up the book, "bipolar bare," by Tim Link. After reading his book, you will get a much fuller picture as to what amazing and Crazy stuff went on with his mood disorder and then compare. His book was Wild and I loved it.

benjamin said...

Your problem is far serious than you think. Its "MPD". You alters are Sandman, Mizohican and illusionaire. The host Kima is often not aware what the alters do for instance - the tattoo :-)

Jeremy said...

It cannot have effect in reality, that is what I consider.
juegos de cuidar animales | student discount travel | kona condo rentals

Blogger said...

Sprinter - Function One (160BPM)