Chp 147. Eid Mubarak

Happy Eid-ul Fitr !!!! Or as my blog friends Marzie, Emila, Zublin, NAFASG Team and the others in Malaysia and Singapore say it, Happy Aidil Fitri !!!!

It isn’t Eid yet here in India until tomorrow (Oct 14th), but nevertheless I would also like to wish all my other Muslim friends here in India right from school throughout college, including all my friends from Hyderabad a wonderful Eid Mubarak. Enjoy this weekend!

I love exposure. I love mixing with different communities and understanding them. Because it is only when we don’t understand others, that we start stereotyping and assuming what they are not.

I’ve had my fair share of Muslim friends here in India. But it was only after I moved to Hyderabad and had Arab neighbors, that I realized what I knew about Islam then, was only that they don’t eat pork, slaughter goats during “bhakrid”, wear a “kufi” white cap on some occasions, and say their prayers too loudly in the morning over the loudspeakers of a nearby Mosque, waking us all up. That was it. Because my Muslim friends and I never used to discuss about religion. Never. Maybe it was India’s secularism at work, or the sensitivity of the nature when it comes to religion here in India, who knows. But it was always like, “Hey I’m a Christian, you’re a Muslim, so do you listen to Iron Maiden? Cool, even I don’t like Manchester United.”

No discussions on religion, ever. But Hyderabad changed all that.

I still remember one of my first discussions with my Arab neighbors in Hyderabad. We were discussing about Christianity at the YMCA Basketball court @ Secunderabad (where we used to play everyday), and when I mentioned “Jesus Christ”, Hyder immediately muttered “salallahu alayhi wasalaam”. I was familiar with that particular sentence by then, which means “Peace Be Upon Him” (PBUH for short), a term they use every time they mention Prophet Mohamed’s name.

It was then that I found out other differences and similarities between Christianity and Islam. Soon we all moved in together to a gigantic 3 bedroom apartment in Masab Tank next to Mehdipatnam. I learnt a lot from them. Differences between the sunnis and shias, traditions, namaz, haraam, the position of Jesus and Mary according to Islam, hajj, halaal, shariat, jihad etc I love learning about other cultures and religions, and no, all that never shook my belief and foundation in Christianity.

When we speak of Islam, most of us immediately think of extremism. I loath fundamentalism of any kind, be it Islam, Hinduism or Christianity. And I will certainly stay away from such people. My Arab friends were definitely not the extremist kind.

When I first told my mom that I was moving in with my new Arab friends, she got quite a shock. After all, she had never had a Muslim friend in her entire life, and the only news she had seen on the TV in Mizoram about Muslims are suicide bombers. See, that’s exactly the point I’m trying to make. Lack of interaction gives rise to delusional stereotypes. It was only when I convinced her about how much more I will be able to concentrate on my studies in my new apartment that she finally gave me the green signal.

Living with Arab roomies was a great fun. We laughed a lot. And oh, we had a really tough time searching for an apartment initially. India boasts of secularism, but in Hyderabad, a Hindu looking for a flat to rent in a Muslim dominated area or a Muslim looking for a flat in a Hindu area will see a very low success rate. That’s reality, folks. And I had a first-hand experience on that. In a way, I think we Christians are the luckiest group here in India when it comes to apartment leasing. Nobody hates us or is felt threatened by us

My roomies were Hyder (Iraq), Alaa (Syria) and Mohammad (Yemen). Amazing bunch of guys. I still remember one really funny incident back then. Our apartment, as mentioned before, was in a strictly Muslim-dominated area. Everybody knew I wasn’t a Muslim but since I was with those guys, nobody really cares. So one day my roomie Alaa left his mobile phone at home as he left for work. We were on the fourth floor, so I rushed to the balcony and I could see him just about to leave at the apartment gate. I shouted as loud as I could without thinking what his name actually sounds like, “Alaaa… mobile phone… Alaaaa…” And then I suddenly realized what I was shouting and saw all the stares from the people on the street and I was like “OH SHITTT”. Fortunately, nothing happened, but my best friend Kini, another Muslim, still takes my trip about that incident even today.

Why am I reminiscing so much about those Hyderabad days? Because it is Eid and I had a really really really good time during Eid back then. Everyday during Ramadan (Ramzan), all the other Arab friends of my roomies would come over to our apartment and they would cook this really scrumptious meal to break their fast. And I would be the official taster, to see if the food they are cooking is too salty or not, too spicy, too sweet etc. And after they say their prayers and eat the dates, we would all sit in this huge circle and eat all the dishes we cooked. I of course would eat the most, shameless me, even though I was the only one not fasting. Hehehe. I really miss those days.

The other Muslims in our apartment, the Indian Muslims, actually didn’t get along very well with my Arab roomies though. Because that was during 2003, the Cricket World Cup. All the Arabs of course cheered for Pakistan, so in order to muster support I would call over Pawan, Kini, Akram, Adonica, and all my other Indian friends to cheer for India, and we would all have these harmless fights and taunts every time India or Pakistan plays. One day, I was in the lift alone with Syed, one of my nice neighbors in that apartment. He asked me directly, “Do you like them?” and I was like… “Yeah… why do you ask?”, and then he told me about the way they would cheer so loudly for Pakistan and that it was because of Muslims like them that people in India think all Muslims cheer for Pakistan.

That is deep!!!

Makes you think a lot huh? Especially after that recent comment by the Pakistan Captain Shoaib Malik urging all the Muslims in the World to cheer for Pakistan, which was of course taken in extreme bad taste by the Muslims of our great Country. It’s funny how some people declare themselves to be a spokesperson for a particular community without even considering the welfare and opinions of the others in that community.

Anyway, I will leave my racial topic posts for another day. Right now, this is a joyous post dedicated to all my Muslim brothers and sisters wishing you all a wonderful Eid. I hope you eat lots of Haleem I don’t know if there is Haleem in Malaysia & Singapore, as I read it is a Persian dish brought to India a long time back [source: wiki] Me and my friends were crazy about Haleem back in Hyderabad (Paradise, Abids) and Bangalore (Fanoos) during the month of Ramzan. You can find the recipe for Haleem here. It is really tasty, but fills you up pretty quickly. Shawarmas too go really well with Haleem. Sivayyan is another Eid dish I really love which you must try if you can get your hands on it.

Have a great weekend once again everyone, and Insha’Allah.

This Post is also specially dedicated to Mr. Mohamed Elias of Trichy, Tamilnadu, former Indian National Basketball player, and my personal Coach & friend for over 10 years, transforming me from the scrawny, bespectacled, “always looking down while dribbling” basketball player wannabe, to the dunking, energetic, ever-sharp, “one of the most feared point-guards & 3-pointers” in South Indian basketball (during our era). Sir, you have made the greatest change in me and here is wishing you a fantabulous Eid Mubarak.

Chp 146. Rules for a Personal Computer

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Chp 145. Be careful what you post…

…even if you delete it immediately! Big Brother records everything once you click on that “publish” button.

Sure we have heard numerous advices about putting any incriminating photographs on the web, because anyone can lay their hands on it. But what about blog posts? Yep, that is also vulnerable to our spying eyes.

But what about blog posts that you wrote out of a brief moment’s anger or passion, and then realized immediately after publishing it that it is too embarrassing, and deleted immediately? Hell yeah, THAT is also available to us!

You don’t need to be a tech wiz or a freckled hacker to read such deleted posts. Simply subscribe to their post feeds, and viola, you have the power to black-mail such people! lolz.

My good friend BlackWhite (Jimmy), the Admin of lawrkhawm.com made such a post 2 days back. When I read his post through my bloglines feed, I laughed my ass out and immediately went over to his blog. But he had already deleted his post by then.

Given below is his deleted topic. However I would advice you not to do such a thing to people you know. I’m only doing it because Jimmy is like a brother to me, the brother I never had, one of my closest friends, and we take each other’s trip this way. It may be considered a very mean thing to do on my part by people who don’t know the extent of my relationship with Jimmy, but trust me, this is how we pull each other's legs.

I crib a lot about the time I spent in Poona. Whenever I'm asked about that place, I have a smirk, and a smile in my face.
"Poona's a great place, I loved it!...it's a different thing, but I was quite lonely out there :)"
"Oh, you didn't have friends or what?"
"Yeah, kind of...I was quite lonely out there" *weary smile :)*

Now that's what 'I USED' to think of loneliness as...No friends, no family next to me.

When I think of it now, I guess I was never lonely, i JUST 'felt' lonely and I was making myself THINK that I was lonely...Why? I was missing a person who never missed me. Sad eh?

That’s his deleted post. The link is this but you will only get a “Page not found 404 error” if you click on it since he deleted it.

Why did he delete it?

Because of the obvious reason that people like Jimmy belong to the category of males who consider being sentimental as feminine, and that a guy shouldn’t say all those stuff because it’s against the very principle of masculinity and machismo.

Don’t blame Jimmy. Blame the system.

I laughed at him because it was soooooo not him to write such a “senti” and “cute” post. But if we can look beyond the humor of all these, there is the serious issue of him being lonely. The internet revolution brought people closer to each other, and so let us show him that as an online community, he shouldn’t be feeling lonely or sad all alone in his little pad in Chennai.

If you are a regular reader of my blog, then please drop in at his blog nohiddendepths and leave a short message, just a short, simple and sweet message to cheer him up, and let him know that there are caring strangers all around ready to make him smile any time.

You can leave the comment on his latest post, or his shoutbox. Tell him that missing somebody who doesn’t miss him back is painful, but it’s also natural for people to experience that. Tell him that’s life. Also tell him that there’s nothing wrong in being “senti” about one’s love and emotion, even for a guy. Show him love, brothers and sisters.

I would greatly and deeply appreciate it if you do that. The mizohican graciously thanks you in advance.

Over all, there is another important lesson to be learnt from all these. Never mix alcohol and blogging!

Chp 144. Designing a Template

I’ve finally updated my template. Also finally upgraded to the new blogger template. I stuck with the classic template because for an old-school HTML/XML designer like me, I am more comfortable with the direct commands and functions. The new template (widget friendly) has a lot of commands I don’t understand.

But after a lot of hesitation and surfing on tech sites, I realized that the new template is way much more powerful than the simple classic template, and cautiously clicked on the upgrade button three days ago. I spent the next three days browsing through various templates, and testing each one, but eventually selected a blogger “official” template.

After a lot of visualization and “virtual designing” and planning in my little head, I finally selected the “Rounders 4” template design by Douglas Bowman. My good friend Sundancer is using the exact same template, and below is a snap-shot of her blog:



One might wonder how my blog came to this from that! I will explain the process briefly, but first, a song! To be sung to the tune of “November rain” by Guns & Roses, one of my all-time favorite songs, this altered lyric of mine says exactly what’s been going inside my head these past 3 days. Try singing along. Lolz.

When I look into my blog,
I can see a code disarray.
But darlin’ when I decode you,
Don’t you know I feel hopeless.

Cause no scripts last forever
And we both know platforms can change.
And it’s hard to add a widget,
In a blogger classic template.

We’ve been through this such a long long time
Just trying to fix the bug.
But language always come and language always go
And no one’s really sure what to use today,
Coding away…

If I could take the time to compile my own,
I could rest my hands
Just knowing that it’s like WYSIWYG,
WYSIWYG…

So if you want to blog now
Then darlin’ upgrade your template
Or you’ll just end up bloggin’
With limited options and no track-back.

Do you need some scripts… for more traffic
Do you need some scripts… for enhancement
Everybody needs some scripts… for more comments
Don’t you know you need some scripts… for more visits.



I came across this really hilarious “10 Commandment for bloggers” while I was browsing randomly on template upgrade topics. It’s from Dummies Guide to Google Blogger (Beta) :

The Ten Commandments for Bloggers:

1. You shall have no other blogs but me.
   
2. You shall migrate to the new Blogger, for it is a land of milk and honey.
   
3. You shall not misuse the name of Google your God.
   
4. You shall upgrade to the new template to seek salvation for your blog.
   
5. You shall submit your blog to the search engines and ping them after every post.
   
6. You shall not delete a blog lest it be taken over by spammers.
   
7. You shall not copy-paste old blogger templates into the new Blogger layout.
   
8. You must not steal content even though you may be “inspired” by it.
   
9. You must back up your template BEFORE and AFTER any changes to it.
   
10. You must not be envious of your neighbor’s blog or his template.
    

Converting/modifying Blogger template.

First of all, the “Rounders 4” template is tricky. The curved/round edges that you can observe in Sundancer’s blog, are actually image files (transparent .gif files) as there are no HTML commands that will execute such a command.

So the first problem was, when expanding the width of my template, the image files do not change in size. I use a width of 900 pixels because the Google analytics report of my blog showed that around 80% of those who visit my blog use a screen resolution of more than 1024x768. Hence why use a template with width meant for 800x600 screen resolution? With more width, one can add more/larger elements at the side and shorten the vertical height.

But after I expanded the width, because of the round .gif images, the entire layout became very ugly. The .gif images are used as a background image using the wrapper command with “no-repeat” option.

So the first step was to identify all the image files in the “Edit HTML” page and remove/replace them. Below is a list of the “curved” image files in a “Rounders 4” template.

http://www.blogblog.com/rounders4/corners_main_bot.gif
http://www.blogblog.com/rounders4/corners_main_top.gif
http://www.blogblog.com/rounders4/corners_cap_top.gif
http://www.blogblog.com/rounders4/corners_cap_bot.gif
http://www.blogblog.com/rounders4/corners_prof_top.gif
http://www.blogblog.com/rounders4/corners_prof_bot.gif
http://www.blogblog.com/rounders4/corners_side_top.gif
http://www.blogblog.com/rounders4/corners_side_bot.gif

You can either remove them or put a design of your choice in its place. Just remember not to put large image files as the space used for such images are small. Otherwise you will have to expand the padding of each function, which again will make your blog more ugly.

On my side-bar, the “box” lines that you can see surrounding it, is a small image file I designed, which I pasted in place of the image file below.

http://www.blogblog.com/rounders4/rails_side.gif

The banner image file at the top of my blog (Mizoram scenery), is again used as a background image in the header-wrapper section and it is not an image that is inserted directly. I replaced the file given below with the above banner.

http://www.blogblog.com/rounders4/bg_hdr_bot.jpg

Likewise, the banner at the bottom of my page follows a similar step. Apart from all those files I replaced, I stuck with the four files given below because they really go well with my layout.

http://www.blogblog.com/rounders4/icon_comment.gif
http://www.blogblog.com/rounders4/icon_profile.gif
http://www.blogblog.com/rounders4/icon_arrow.gif
http://www.blogblog.com/rounders4/icon_arrow_sm.gif

Once all that is done, modifying the other HTML codes is not difficult. I use javascripts for the “mouse roll over” button above and also for the drop-down menu. And of course I can still use all my CSS scripts from my previous blog (classic) template.

Now the problem for me starts. I still have no clue how to modify the widget commands that looks like “[ b : widget class]” or something like that. My friend “Sercop” (Henry), a computer science engineering student, said he will help me out with it, and I plan to use most of his wonderful scriptings which you can observe at his blog kanlab.blogspot.com

Just remember that your template design is as important as your blog content too. It’s like eating ice-cream in a 5 star hotel. You enjoy the ice-cream AND the ambience of the hotel. Sometimes an ice-cream may be too good that you don’t care about the ambience, but never-the-less, a good ambience will always score extra brownie points. Peace.

Chp 143. Mizo Jokes

Ever wondered how some of the popular and clichéd English jokes would sound like if taken into our Mizo context? Here is a compilation of some of the more popular ones like knock knock jokes, how many does it take to change a light-bulb, waiter jokes etc.

My non-Mizo friends won’t get the real meaning of these jokes as they are Mizo-centric, hence a friendly advice to skip this particular post. Sorry


For the others, I sincerely hope you enjoy this.

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Why did the chicken cross the Aizawl road?

Answer: Because the traffic jams guaranteed its safety.

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What do you get if you cross a Mizo and a video camera?

Answer: A celebrity!

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“Waiter, there’s a fly in my Mizo soup!”

CYMA: From today onwards, every YMA branch member will take turns guarding every soup and making sure no such fly falls in it again.

SRS: Any fly that falls into a soup again will not only be severely beaten up, but also kicked out of Mizoram.

MZP: We shall declare a statewide curfew next week to protest this grave insult to the Mizo soup. We are also investigating to see if the fly was a Mizo fly or a non-Mizo fly. Meanwhile we urge all non-Mizo flies not to fly outdoors for their own safety…

MHIP: We shall create public awareness by putting up posters and notices all over the city informing the citizens about the serious offense of flies falling into soups.

MUP: These youngsters today are so spoilt. We used to walk on foot from Lunglei to Aizawl everyday in search of work, just to earn 1-2 rupees to drink one decent bowl of soup, any soup, and today they are complaining about a bloody fly in their soup.

MPCC: We are not surprised. With the evil MNF leading our beloved State towards total chaos, expect more than just flies in your soups.

MNF: This is the work of the evil opposition MPCC. All they can do is disrupt the smooth working mechanism of the State by putting flies in our soups, just to pull our party down from power.

ZNP: Because of MNF, you have flies in your soup. With the Congress, you’ll probably have soups in your flies. Vote for us and we promise you: No flies, just soup.

PRISM: The fly is in the soup because of the corruption of the politicians. They are all so corrupted that even the flies in their soup are corrupted. We shall investigate this matter by filing an RTI on where the fly came from and how it ended up in that soup. If necessary, we shall even ask the CBI to step in.

H&FW Dept: Its ok, no need to worry about the fly in your soup. But please be careful about the soup because it is a breeding place for the malaria-causing female Anopheles mosquito. Now how do we protect ourselves from Malaria? First we must make sure that…

Aryan from misual.com: Fly in your soup? I’m not surprised. That’s because you Indian Mizos are so stupid and backward. Over here in my country Australia, the flies in our soup are much more advanced and intellectually superior. They have an IQ of over 100, and are not only toilet-trained but also soup-trained, hence earn much more than the IAS/IFS officers of your sick Country. You Mizos sux. You Indians sux. Australia is the besttttt.

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Knock Knock jokes:

“Knock, Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Mami.”
“Mami who?”
“Mummy’s smooching Uncle John at the park, daddy, come quick.”

“Knock, Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Atea.”
“Atea who?”
“At your country, do you rudely let your guests wait outside?”

“Knock, Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Sawma.”
“Sawma who?”
“Some ah win, some ah lose, yah cant win ‘em all.”

“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Mafaka.”
“Mafaka who?”
“Ma’fucka open the bloody door, I am so gonna kill you!”

“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Sanga.”
“Sanga who?”
“Sang a song for you at the hotel last night, where’s my tip?”

“Knock, Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Kima.”
“Kima who?”
“Kheema mutton and sheekh kabaab for sale, would you like one?”

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And finally, how many Mizos does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, let’s see. 5 electricians, 10 linemen and 20 jugelis from the P&E Department hovering around the light-bulb, arguing about how to change the light-bulb and who should change it. But first, there is an important carrom-board match to be played…

30 members from the local YMA group volunteering to change the light-bulb, all at the same time. The situation became worse with the arrival of more than 100 members of various neighboring locality YMA members, all trying to be the one to change the light bulb, for tlawmngaihna’s sake.

100 students from a reputed college in Aizawl shouting slogans and demanding that since they were the society’s youngest intelligentsia group, they should have the honor of changing the light-bulb. However, an inspection revealed that 99 of them were not enrolled with the particular college, hence were turned back.

200 Mizo celebrities fighting among themselves over who gets to change the light bulb, so as to push up their popularity ranking. More animosity was observed especially between the Icons and the Idols, and also between the “senior” celebrities and their “look-alike” celebrities.

300 engineers from the Engineers Association marching towards the light-bulb to change it to prove how good engineers are, only to clash with 300 members of the BCA Association who were also there to prove their qualification and to show that they can do anything that the BE’s can do.

400 Grade A Officers taking a mass casual leave demanding a hike in their salary if they change the light bulb. 600 Grade B Officers rallying behind the Grade A Officers, ready to go on an immediate strike too if the Grade A Officers’ salary is increased and theirs is not. Meanwhile, a large crowd of Grade C and D Officers was seen marching towards the light bulb…

700 traffic police officers deployed to oversee the security. Most of them had to hitch a ride to reach the place, so eventually they bought along 700 people who were driving their two-wheelers. Seeing the large amass of two-wheelers, the entire members of “Aizawl Thunder” and “Lunglei Lightning” rallied in full force not to be out-done by the “small time” bikers.

The entire “Shop Owner Association” of RV and Phunchawng hovered around the light bulb, ready to do “business” with anyone who came that day to change the light bulb. The entire members from the SRS kept a vigilant eye, ready to catch such people in the act. The entire volunteers from the Human Rights Commission carefully watched the SRS members who were keeping an eye on the bootleggers, making sure no human rights is violated in case the SRS catches the bootleggers in the act…

LPS network immediately conducted a new reality show “Mizo Light Bulb Icon”, where the contestants were eliminated every week by a panel of judges who had good experience in changing light-bulbs, and the winner gets to change the light-bulb. ZoNET followed immediately with a similar reality show “Mizo Light Bulb Idol”.

5 Cabinet Ministers from the ruling party with their secretaries and secretaries’ secretaries and secretaries’ secretaries’ secretaries, along with more than 1000 supporters, making an hour long speech on the importance of the light-bulb for the development and welfare of the State, and how they will change it and replace it with a much brighter light-bulb for all the people of Mizoram, but eventually doing nothing to change the light bulb.

6 MLAs from the opposition with more than 2000 supporters now making an even longer speech criticizing the Government for its inability to keep its promise regarding the light-bulb, and how they will really change the light-bulb if voted to power (only if voted to power). Another MLA member protesting the ruling party’s complete failure to change the light bulb and that a Presidential Rule should be imposed in Mizoram in order to save its people so that the light bulb can be changed.

100 members from PRISM following the Ministers and MLAs and observing the light bulb from a distance to see if there will be any black money involved in changing the light bulb.

500 members from MICLUN also watching the entire scene and furiously writing down on a piece of paper all the names of the politicians and government employees who were engaged in pocketing the fund meant for changing the light-bulb, ready to publish it in the next day’s newspapers.

1000 members of the ZTOA, ACBOA, TOA and ZMCOA all fighting with each other over which mode of transport (Taxi, Maxi Cab, Bus etc) should ferry all those people who came to change the light bulb. Chaos and mayhem everywhere.

2000 members of various Church denomination groups spread around the light bulb, singing and dancing while announcing on their respective loudspeakers that some of those who came to change the light bulb were living in sin and that they could redeem themselves right there near the light bulb itself.

3000 members of MMI marching around the light bulb, protesting that most of them cannot even afford a light-bulb, and warning that if the Government does not give them new light-bulbs, there will be a revolution in Mizoram.

5000 students from the MZP charging into the already chaotic situation, stating that as students, they should be the ones to change the light bulb, and threatening that any failure to prevent them from doing that will be met with dire consequences like curfews and rampages. 5000 students from the MSU rushing in from the other direction demanding a similar request and threatening the Government with the same consequences.

10,000 out-stationed Mizos of various unions and associations like the DMZP, DMWA, CMWA, KMZP, BMA, MSA etc from all over the Country voicing their utmost concern at the ongoing situation at home and each association coming out with an official report on who they think should really change the light bulb. Of course, each report differed from each other.

20,000 residents of Southern Mizoram protesting that this was just another Aizawl attitude of ignoring people from the South and that it should be somebody from the South who change the light bulb, even going to the extent of demanding a UT status so that they too can change their own light-bulbs.

30,000 people from Lai, Mara and Hmar District Council marched in protest around the grand spectacle, demanding that it should be a person from their ethnic group who makes the change, otherwise this was just another example of the State government’s ethnocentric attitude towards considering only those who speak Duhlian dialect as a Mizo.

50,000 other people joined the crowd, expressing that we shouldn’t waste our time with such a trivial issue as the light-bulb and that there are more important issues in Mizoram than that. Of course each had their own “vei zawng” on what is most important and no consensus was reached, adding more disorder to the already chaotic gathering.

1,00,000 jobless people sitting all around the grand assemblage in groups, eating kuhva-hring and smoking cigarettes, while passing comments on all the people inside fighting to change the light-bulb, and making funny jokes and anecdotes about them.

The remaining people not in any associations, groups or unions, decided to form a new Association called the “Light Bulb Changing Association”. Their agenda includes:
1. Creating a better Mizoram for the Youth.
2. Protecting the Mizo culture and identity.
3. Eradicating poverty and corruption from Mizoram.
4. Improving the Educational infrastructure and quality.
5. Ensuring fair polls during elections.
Unfortunately, changing the light bulb is not included in the agenda of the “Light Bulb Changing Association”.


Eventually, how many Mizos does it take to change a light bulb? More or less the entire Mizo community! Isn’t that just swell?

Chp 142. Nepali: A racial slur in India?

I can bet my treasured Arsenal jersey that one of the most googled keywords in India and Nepal yesterday was about what the RJ from Delhi commented about our new Indian Idol Prashant Tamang, that sparked off a riot in Siliguri resulting in at least 60 wounded.

Nah, none of the prominent news sites mentioned about the exact comment. They only mentioned about the incident, and that the RJ had apologized… The reason why none of them printed the statement was obvious: Why unnecessarily pour more fuel into the racial fire already burning since time immemorial when Mankind was created with different racial features.

I finally found the statement at one of my subscribed feeds Sepia Mutiny who in turn obtained it from BPO Tiger.

Quoting from the above site, this is what Red FM RJ Nitin supposedly said:

Aaj Prashant Tamang ‘Nepali ladka from Darjeeling’ [Today Prashant Tamang, Nepali boy from Darjeeling] has become Indian Idol [laughs sarcastically] and we have a [cricket] match tonight so we need to guard our house / malls / restaurants by ourselves as there will be no Nepali people to guard these place and whole night we need to say Jagtay Raho [stay awake].” The RJ also added that all the Footpath Momo shops will remain closed as Nepali guy has become Indian Idol.

I also found this article at another feed I subscribe to, The Great Indian Mutiny, written by mutineer and founder Chacko (Jacob Joseph), where he asked the “Nepalis/Gorkhas to GROW UP” in his post Gurkha Humour, that came off as a very insensitive article to the Nepali community. The consequence was quite expected: More than 220 replies to his post so far, most of them abusing and cussing Chacko and calling him a racist pig etc.

When any community is attacked online, members of that online community react to the post usually after somebody comes across it from somewhere on the net and posts it in that particular community’s discussion forum. Happens with my Mizo community too. I did a little sleuthing of my own, and I think in this case, the main source of commenters at Chacko’s post came from this particular thread “Foul comments against Nepali community and Prashant” from The Darjeeling forum.

By this of course I don’t mean to criticize the members of that forum or anything like that, and am simply trying to point out how that particular post became so popular over-night. There can be other sources too, just as how any site “dissing” the Mizo community will see an immediate retaliation from members of misual.com, lawrkhawm.com, mizoserver.com, buannel.com, zawlbuk.net etc Mizo discussion forums. In today’s cyber age, almost every community has their own online discussion forums, and yes, we all guard our community’s honor fiercely.

I am quite surprised at Chacko for that article of his. I too might have joined the bandwagon calling him insensitive and maybe a racist, had I not made an acquaintance with Chacko earlier. I came across him when I was writing my article Ethnocide: the Great Hibu Fiasco, protesting about IPS Hibu’s careless remark in his booklet/guide about us NE students “dressing provocatively and eating our smelly cultural delicacies”. Chacko commented:

Great post, we should have you on the Mutiny (that's www.mutiny.in incase you were wondering) :-)

People like Chacko do belong to the category of thinkers who fight against racism and seek a World void of any discrimination. I know he’s not a racist and stand by him, but in this particular post of his, he got careless and maybe didn’t do his homework well. He missed out on the real issue on why the Nepali community considers the RJ’s statement as an extremely derogatory slur.

Even though every community in India has their own undesirable stereotypes, the minority community (read: Indians of a mongoloid origin) will react much more harshly to such stereotypes about them compared to the rest of India, simply because of the fact that we are an extremely insecure lot, and that should never be mistaken as us not having any sense of humor.

The insecurity stems out from the fact that we are an extreme minority in India, the incessant racial abuses and slurs we face everyday, the fact that no matter how much “sense of belonging” we try to have with India, the attitude of most Indians seem to say otherwise, and last but not the least, no matter how much we assimilate with the language, culture and traditions of India, our facial features betrays all that and we are still looked upon as foreigners.

And Nepalis face the brunt of all racial abuses in India.

Mizos too have been abused a million times with the “Chinky” slur by Mainland Indians wherever we go, apart from the regular “Nepali” chants, just because of our similar racial features. And any Mizo who has been outside Mizoram for a long time will take it as an offense to be heckled a “Nepali” by Mainland Indians. This is not because of the word "Nepali" per se, but the way in which that word is uttered at us. There is a vast difference between “Hey you look like a Nepali” and “Oyee sala Nepali”. It’s all a matter of semantics.

Because in the second sentence, we all know too well what people actually infer to when they use the word “Nepali”. Somehow, people equate that with being a watchman.

Dear readers, you may not be insinuating all that when you use the word “Nepali”, probably because you are refined and brought up in a dignified manner. But if you have spent enough time on the streets or know such people who do, then you will truly know the ghastly hidden meaning of the word “Nepali”. Such insinuation is totally uncalled for.

And that’s exactly the nerve RJ Nitin touched with his seemingly “harmless” joke. Nepalis reacted in full fury because they are tired of that “Sharma” and “Bahadur” tag of being a gate-keeper or watchman. Because in India, calling somebody a gate-keeper (chowkidaar) is not just about a menial occupation. It relates to a whole lot of other factors like looking down upon him, treading over him, treating him as an inferior object, a third class citizen or even a pile of crap, and occupying the lowest rung in the social ladder. The practice of the jajmani system and the now-banned evil practice of untouchability still exist in many households even today, indiscrete as they may be. Yes, we all know too well how servants are treated in this country.

I find it ironic why Nepalis are associated with such a derogatory insult, when in fact they have one of the World’s bravest and most gallant armed forces, the famous and renowned Gurkha Regiment. How come the word “nepali” is never used to imply bravery? Especially when they play such a huge role in the defense of India…

I also find it strange and sad why people of Nepali origin in India who share a much more similarity with mainland Indians in terms of religion, language and culture, compared to most of the tribes in NE India who are a diversified lot of Christian, Buddhist and Hindu backgrounds, are treated with such disgust and animosity. It is as if the mere word “Nepali” itself has become a racial slur here in India.

All that builds up to the gross insecurity of the Nepali community, and that is one of the main reasons why they reacted in such a way to statements made by the RJ and also by Chacko. It’s not about not having any sense of humor or not growing up. It’s never about that. That sense of humor died a long time ago when the first Nepali was recruited as a gate-keeper or lured into the sex trade in India. And since then, Nepalis worldwide have been endlessly trying to break away from that stereotype.

Sikhs are crudely labeled as stupid in our Country. Yet, you and I know how clever most of them are. We have a Sikh PM, Sikh Army Chief, and Sikh leaders in the corporate world, Sikhs in the sporting world, Sikhs who have climbed up the social ladder in every walk of life and whom everybody respects. They have broken away from their stereotype moulds, and today, many Sikhs laugh at those “Santa & Banta” jokes. But just because they can take such jokes, don’t expect the Nepalis to laugh at “watchmen” jokes. There is a vast difference in their social standings here in India, just as how those “Santa & Banta” jokes would have never been funny for the Sikhs during the Anti-Sikh riot of 1984.

Even if a Sikh can take a sardar joke or a marwari can take a “kanjoosi” joke, it would be in our best interest not to take it for granted that Nepalis will take a “watchman” joke. By expecting others to behave the same way as we do is nothing but the highest form of ethnocentrism, which often crosses a line with Racism. And once we reach that point of racism, everything becomes ugly, for racism only begets racism and there’s no end to it unless one side stops.

Every culture is different from the other and the most important thing is to respect each other’s peculiarities and oddities. After all, diversity is what makes India unite and there is no unity if one does not respect such diversity.

Chp 141. No longer a Mizohican

Am back!!! Woohoo!

One month sabbatical from the internet really does feel like a lifetime! Especially when studying in-depth on subjects like sociology and geography, new blog topics just kept springing up in my head! And my mind would wander off for a few seconds resulting in my concentration momentum being completely disrupted over and over again.

Screwed up my exams of course, but then, an engineer like me with a brief stint on MBA writing optional papers on Sociology and Geography is a bit something like a cat trying to learn how to bark, or my friend Amos deciding not to have any new girlfriends until next year…

I had a great time spending the past one month at home with my folks. Away from the internet, away from the computer, away from the television, away from the i-Pod, away from the mobile phone (to a certain extent), and away from the habit of reading the English tabloids every morning. Appreciating the simpler way of life really does channelize a man on an involuntary journey of self-discovery.

One sure sign of knowing nobody touched my computer while I was in Delhi all these time…

Hehe. Last login: 20th April, the eve of my birthday, the night I left for Delhi.

Perhaps the most significant thing I did during this “vacation” at Mizoram was a change in hairstyle.

Its funny how sometimes we want to remain young forever and do something to look or feel young, even if we eventually end up looking stupid in the process. People close to me have long criticized my hairstyle, saying I’ve lived way past the age of spikey hair era. Even though there are quite a number of oldies who still look good with spikey hairstyle, my situation is an unfortunate case of excessive receding hairline. Yeah I’m bald (or “follicularly-challenged” for the politically-correct). And that doesn’t go well with spikes, no sir.

Changed my hairstyle at “Mapuii Samsiamna”, one of the more illustrious and esteemed hair parlors in Aizawl. Got this new look that made me look like a complete nerd. Mom called it the “matured” look and dad named it the “responsible” look. I prefer the “awkwardly dweeby and momma’s boy” hairstyle.


Yeah, that is me with my friends, taken during my recent visit.

I miss my old hairstyle. Many of my friends have asked me why my blog is called “Mizohican”. Most of them remarked that it is a very strange and unique name.

Some people did get it right though, that it was a combination of Mizo (the name of my tribe) and the Mohicans (Mahican Native American tribe). Hence Mizohican. But I did not just come up with that name out of sudden fancy. I’ve always been fascinated by the Native American culture, especially after watching “The Last of The Mohicans” in High school. Hence I always used to read a lot about them and even fantasized about being a red-Indian brave galloping on a mighty white horse with a tomahawk in hand and making that high pitch war cry while answering to a distress smoke signal.

Me and my friends even used to imitate the “peacepipe” part of the native American culture during our college days with our own modification of course, but then, that’s another story to tell

I found out that the Mohawks and the Mohicans (Mahicans) aren’t the same people. They both belonged to a completely different set of tribes, and the Mohawks are also known by another popular name, the Iroquois (French). Those who play AOE III would know. The Mahicans on the other hand fought on the side of the white settlers during the Indian Wars and also sided with the colonists during the American Revolution.

However when it comes to hairstyle, “Mohawk” is a term used by the Americans, and “Mohican” is used by the British. They are both the same style, and they are a big hit among the “Punk” rebel culture of the modern world.

I decided to go for a Mohawk hairstyle around 2003 when I was in Hyderabad celebrating my Engineering College graduation, especially after reading about the bravery and military genius of the Sioux tribe, the Cheyennes, the Cherokees, the Apaches, the Navajo, the Crees etc, and heroes such as Sitting Bull, Little Coyote, Crazy Horse, Gall, Morning Star etc.

Below is me in 2003, the birth of the Mizohican!



I know this particular blog topic is very trivial, and as mentioned in the beginning, it’s just a post about stepping into the blogosphere again. This is just a warm-up to all the up-coming posts and pictures I hope will entertain you in the coming days.

On a parting shot, since we are discussing about tribal hairstyles, if you wanna know what kind of hairstyle our tribal Mizo ancestors had during their early days, take a look below at a picture of me and my roomies here in Delhi



Hehehe. Until then, cheers! Got lots to do in the upcoming days catching up on the blogosphere! My bloglines feed kinda gave me a heart attack when I checked it this morning.



That’s a lot of catching up!

Chp 140. The Big Break

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

A lovely poem by Robert Frost. Short and sweet, and yet extremely meaningful. “And miles to go before I sleep”. Hence this is the time when I must take a leave from the blogosphere for a month or two, because of those “miles” I must cover.

Of course this sabbatical would mean the usual stuff: a drastic decrease in the number of my daily visits (past 3 days visit was 470+). Even though I did used to get more than 200 visits/day a long time back during my IIM days, I took a break and then came back writing more Mizo-centric articles. I was then barely maintaining an average of 100 visits per day. And then I entered Camp and came out writing only Gospel articles, and the number of daily visits increased but the profile of my visitors completely changed! Now having learnt how to strike a balance between each type of posts, I feel proud to maintain a visit of around 130/day, all thanks to all you wonderful people out there. Here is a *Muaaah* (No it is not considered normal for a guy to give out muaaahs in my culture too, but what the heck, I just feel like it )

A great big thanks to all the Zo bloggers out there for reaching out and letting your voices get heard. Keep the faith and keep blogging. Love you all. Also another bounteous thanks to Bobby, Marzi, Jesse, Janice, Jean, Emila, Zublin, Christy, and all my new wonderful blog-friends from MBL community who introduced me to technorati. I am now in the top 100K website listing!!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you

[Notice how I kept the mouse over the PC time for “date stamp”. Lolz]

Even though that rank is miniscule compared to some of the ranks of my friends mentioned above, I feel proud to have reached that rank as my blog is more article oriented than short-posts based, with just 4-5 updates/month. It would indeed be sad to see all that slip away yet again, because of the break I am going to take. But I promise I will be back with more improvements, enthusiasm, passion, energy and the usual Kim-Humor

Visit past one week:

Yeah I may have fallen into the “site-meter trap” (visiting one’s site-meter more often than one’s own blog! ), but sometimes it is important to know the profile of your visitors, so that you can tailor-stitch your blog more to their liking.

I have registered at Google Analytics thanx to my good friend Sundancer on October 2nd 2006. It’s not even been a year since then, but what I learnt from the Analytics report is gargantuan (yeah I really love that word ).

I’ve learnt that 59.24% of my visitors visit my blog 4-5 times a month. This corresponds exactly with the number of times I update my blog a month. This tells me that people who visit my blog know how frequently I update my blog, hence it would be a waste of time to visit everyday. Last month (July 2007), the number of people who visited my blog more than 10 times during the entire month was 534, which is just 22.25% of the total month’s visit (2400 approx).

I’ve learnt that 58.93% use Internet explorer, compared to 36.66% Firefox. Hence I could use HTML tags like “table bordercolor” which displays perfectly for Explorer but looks ugly in Firefox. I avoid “rowspan” as it sometimes gets messed up in Explorer. Similarly there are CSS scripts which works well for one but doesn’t for the other, which I will not post here for boring’s sake

Another important point I’ve learnt from the Analytic’s report: 71.55% of my visitors use a screen resolution of more than 1024x768. Hence I could freely increase the size of my page to (currently) 815 pixels, with 468px on the content and 336px on the side bar. This way I could push in more graphics and contents on either side without bringing in the (oh so evil!) Horizontal scrolling.

67.21% of my visitors come from Cable, DSL and other high speedsters, while 4.57% come from Dial-up (Why do I picture my friend calliope’s canticles in my mind every time I see a visit from a Dial-up? ). Hence I could safely use a number of heavy graphics decorating the sidebar with minimum complains about the loading speed.

Regarding the location of my visitors, as most other blogs around, I do get a huge number of visitors from different parts of the World. However, I would request you all not to jump the gun whenever you see a foreign location. My friend FadeNoMore works in Convergys, a BPO in Bangalore. Whenever he visits or comments, his ip address shows “Cincinnati, Ohio, USA” which is probably where it is routed back (Convergys Head Office). Similarly, when some of my visitors from AOL Call Center in Bangalore visit my blog, their ip addresses show “Dulles, Virginia, USA”.

For those of you at home with your own net connection, it is also very important to “ignore visits” of your own ip address. Sitemeter offers that option. Even though I update my blog 4-5 times a month, I frequently log in to my template to change a thing or two every now and then. Every time I do that, it counts as a visit. Hence I simply ignored the visits from my own ip address so that my actual number of visits does not get tampered.

Other important factor not to miss: Know where most of your visitors are coming from. This is from my Google Analytics report.

Where does the referral traffic come from?

Again, Google Analytics answers [in order of percentage, top 20 only] :

01. orkut.com
02. mbaleague.blogspot.com
03. sunshinenjoy.blogspot.com
04. anuragjain.blogspot.com
05. mybookmarks.com
06. mybloglog.com
07. whymba.blogdrive.com
08. misual.com
09. mariuca.blogspot.com
10. desipundit.com
11. lawrkhawm.com
12. dignifiedcow.blogspot.com
13. mutiny.in
14. sekibuhchhuak.blogspot.com
15. e-pao.net
16. technorati.com
17. carpeimperiummundo.blogspot.com
18. chandoo.org
19. shutterspeedchronicles.blogspot.com
20. suyogdeshpande.net

Thank you so much for the referral, everyone. Nice to see 4 Mizo sites (misual, lawrkhawm, Sundancer and Seki) among the list too. Ka lawm e!

Many of my articles have appeared in various National magazines and newspapers like Midday, Times of India, Jesus Calls, Telegraph, Business Today, Newslink etc. They’ve also been cross posted at popular sites like desipundit.com, pagalguy.com, e-pao.net, misual.com, lawrkhawm.com, zawlbuk.net, youthim.com, zoram.com and various Mizo Association websites. Since it is difficult to conclude which are the most popular posts (one man’s thingie is another man’s thungie), I am displaying the 25 top views of my posts according to Google Analytics. (Note: Google Analytics started calculating the page view only from Oct 2006. The views before that are not recorded; hence, the result may not be that accurate).

01. Chp 085. A "new" discotheque called "Poison" (2020)
02. Chp 094. Racism I: Chinky - What me insult? (1011)
03. Chp 092. Arsenal: New signings, new formations. (912)
04. Chp 079. Underworld 3 : The Movie (interracial perspective). (784)
05. Chp 077. Manori Beach > Palm Beach Resort. (782)
06. Chp 116. Christianity & Culture: Wearing “puan”. (655)
07. Chp 039. Sonargachi! (599)
08. Chp 022. Love, jealousy & ex-girlfrens : A Valentine's Day Special. (531)
09. Chp 117. Impression of a Christian (505)
10. Chp 089. Mumbai Cable TV and the Ban (467)
11. Chp 108. A special Valentine's Day post (419)
12. Chp 073. World Cup: Of women folks and football. (337)
13. Chp 106. A blessed long distance relationship (316)
14. Chp 050. Of older women n younger guys (301)
15. Chp 111. To Nepal, with Love. (293)
16. Chp 096. "AGAPE" Gospel Rehab Camp (215)
17. Chp 113. A poem for women (194)
18. Chp 030. Anara CD controversy : My take. (191)
19. Chp 054. Inter-racial relationships (176)
20. Chp 124. The Ironies of Love (172)
21. Chp 100. The Christian Life (167)
22. Chp 086. What really happened in the IIMB Campus (133)
23. Chp 093. I'm horny, you're horny. (128)
24. Chp 095. Mizoram, My Mizoram! (115)
25. Chp 049. Tuscan Verve (111)

13 of my posts which I wrote before I activated my Google Analytics (before Chp 95.) appeared among the top 25! Since there was no record before October 2006, the mentioned 13 posts would definitely have a much higher rank had I activated Google Analytics earlier. It also feels wonderful to know that 7 of my Gospel posts appeared among the top 25. Longest run at top 25: 5 posts (Chp 92, 93, 94, 95 & 96).

If in case you are jobless with nothing to do except read some “new” stuff then please do go through some of my Top 25 posts mentioned above while I’m gone (Oh! Shameless me!!!!)

And of course before saying goodbye, something I’ve always been meaning to do for a very very very long time. An award to my MBL friends!

This goes out to all you MBL folks who have not just become mere “blog buddies” but very personal friends within time. You’ve shown me the true value of friendship and support, even though we are all miles apart and most definitely will never meet in our entire lifetime. Yup this award goes out to you Bobby, Marzie, Jesse, Jean, Janice, Christy, Emila, Zublin, Barrett and in cinq (dear Lord, I hope I didn’t miss out anybody).

Even though they know I don’t do tags and memes because my blog is article based, and that I want to maintain the “brand image” of that, these people still tag me, meme me, and award me! Most people do that so that they will be linked back so as to push up their ranks, but these people on my list do it purely out of love.

I’ve been awarded so many times too, by these very same people. So, since this is my last post for the time being, I thought, why don’t I design my own award for these wonderful people? Something that I can personalize so as to fit them exactly… I thought and thought and thought… most of the awards that best describes them are already there… and then it struck me. There was one very important quality all these bloggers had in common: They make me smile.

Be it Bobby’s knowledgeable insight on the nuts and bolts of blogging, or Marzie’s extremely “feel good” posts about everything, or Jesse’s yet another attempt at registering at yet another blog promotional site , or Emila’s wonderful illustration that has an aura of placidity and serenity around it, or Janice and her two marvelous kids who you wanna nibble and pinch and chew forever, or Jean who is all sweetness, niceness and sugarness all rolled into one, all these people and the wonderful ones not yet mentioned (because I will go on and on and on if I point out all the wonderful qualities of everyone) have always made me smile and feel good about the fact that I’m alive. They have been a part of my life for the past 1-2 months now, and my life has indeed been more cheerful since.

Hence, here is the award I have specially designed for you guys, straight from the heart. It's the "Thank you for making me smile" Award

With that, I begin my sabbatical. Of course I will still visit other blogs occasionally, but there won’t be any updates here for the next 2 months. And about the comment moderation, that is still activated, but my girlfriend will be manning my account everyday as usual, accepting the comments (insightful ones, criticisms, supportive, agreements, disagreements, argumentative etc) while rejecting the spams & occasional racial abuses my blog is still a target of. God bless you everyone!